Aftermath
A tag to Lucifer Rising.
Dean pushed Sam out of the room. Lillith's and Ruby's dead human hosts were lying in the growing pool of blood that was once Lillith's, etching the outline of Lucifer's entrance onto Earth.
"We've got to get out of here!"
"And go where?" Sam said, defeated.
"Where we always go when we're in crap up to our eyeballs!" Dean yelled.
"But –"
"But nothing, let's FIRST get the HELL out of here!!"
Dean pushed Sam ahead of him. He looked back and felt his blood run cold as ice. The irony of the bright light coming from the marble floor cut-out made Dean wonder what kind of beast would emerge from there. What kind of monster he would have to fight to and send back. It was only for a moment though. He didn't have time to worry about that. He had to get them both out of there. From there, he had no idea except for one. While running, he reached for his cell and found the speed dial number he needed and which was always easily accessible.
He heard the phone ring, then the comforting click of a pick up.
"Dean?" Bobby said. "I've been worried sick since you did a Houdini from my place."
Bobby heard the commotion and he felt the hairs on his neck rise.
"What happened?" Bobby asked, but his instincts were already telling him the answer.
"We failed, Bobby…" Dean paused. "I failed…"
Bobby heard the pain in Dean's voice and closed his own eyes almost with a shared telepathic connection.
"Get your asses to my place, you hear me?"
"Bobby, we could be putting you in danger too-"
"Nonsense! You get yourselves back here as soon as you can. We'll suss out the rest later."
Dean hung up his phone and kept running, relieved at hearing Bobby's unflagging concern for them and his fearless disregard to the potential danger to him.
ooooo
Dean managed to find a car to hotwire and he and Sam climbed in. Dean lead footed as much as he could towards Bobby's, being very careful not to draw the attention of any highway patrollers. They didn't need that kind of trouble now. They were in the thick of enough trouble as it was.
Dean looked over every once in awhile towards Sam and Sam looked pale, in shock. Dean couldn't blame him. He understood the feeling. He would give everything if Sam didn't have to feel what he was feeling now. It wasn't all Sam's fault either. If only Dean had realized sooner what his words would do to Sam. Though Dean couldn't buy Bobby's words that he was a better man than their father, he knew that he should've known his brother better, shouldn't have let his need to have his brother be with him in the battle blind him to Sam's needs. Dean knew Sam was always clamoring for approval on a deeper level, from their dad and then later from him. Bobby had been right. He should never have left Sam, shouldn't have pushed him away, but he had. He was just as much responsible for Sam killing Lillith and bringing Lucifer over as Sam was.
Sam was quiet, too quiet for Sam. He always turned inward when he was in pain or in shock. Dean wanted to ask him if he was okay, but it seemed like a stupid question. Of course, Sam wasn't okay, wouldn't be okay ever again, even if they defeated Lucifer. Dean understood that. He would never be okay again either. They had both been scarred in ways that would never heal for the both of them. So, Dean just let Sam alone. He kept checking on him though and when Sam had finally let sleep overcome him, it was only then that Dean just concentrated on the road ahead of him.
They had finally arrived at Bobby's, his salvage sign a welcome sight. His place had always been a safe haven and a relief fell over Dean. They had gone there every time they had nowhere else to go and Bobby had always been there for them, never turning them away, even when he was annoyed at them. Now, Bobby, he was the better man, Dean thought to himself.
Dean got out of the car. Sam was exiting the passenger side, still quiet, his eyes red despite the sleep he had gotten. Bobby opened the door before they even had to knock, watching for them from his front window.
"Come on in and tell me what happened," Bobby said.
Dean related everything. Sam had remained silent, but wasn't catatonic. Dean knew his brother, when he was ready to talk he would, for now he had to let him be. Bobby was speechless for a moment himself after hearing about Lucifer. He scrubbed his beard then turned to the boys.
"And where is Castiel now?"
"I don't know," Dean said, angry at being abandoned again, yet also hoping that Castiel was okay.
"You think the archangel got to him?"
"I wish I knew, Bobby."
Bobby watched Sam all curled up on his couch, staring blankly at nothing in particular. He was worried.
"He was like that when the Hell hound got to you. Nothing I could say could bring him out of it, least not until he had decided that he was going to save you. After that, he was so single minded, nothing I said would change his mind."
Dean smiled a little.
"I know. It's how Sam processes. He needs time, but this time we'll both here for him."
Bobby nodded. Dean looked over at him.
"I failed him, Bobby."
Bobby understood and felt guilty for pushing Dean back then, but he knew it had to be done.
"You didn't, Dean –"
"That's a lie, Bobby and you know it. Hell, it was you who made me see what a complete ass I was being."
"From what you just told me it was the angels who didn't let you get to him in time. In my humble opinion, that Castiel wasn't man enough to take a stand sooner. I know you, Dean. If there had been a way to get to Sam, you would have gotten there. You could never fail your brother."
Dean wasn't convinced, but was too tired to argue. He wavered on his feet, his adrenaline draining away from him. Bobby noticed it.
"Get yourselves up to one of the rooms and rest. Nothing we can do for now. I'll read over what I got and see if I can find something that will help."
Dean wanted to protest, but he had been driving for hours and knew it was catching up to him. He patted Sam on the shoulder and Sam took his queue by following Dean up the stairs.
Bobby watched with a profound sadness. Those boys didn't deserve what they were being put through he thought to himself.
"You're right. They don't deserve what's happened," a voice said behind him, startling the veteran hunter. "And what they'll have to do to stop Hell on Earth."
"You should really have a bell around your neck, you know that?"
Castiel just looked at him quizzically.
Once Bobby regained his composure, he threw Castiel an angry glare.
"And where were you when, if you'll pardon the expression, all Hell broke loose?" Bobby said angrily.
"Fighting an archangel. I had hoped that Dean would get to Sam in time to stop him," Castiel said, his tone truly contrite.
"Well, if you had bothered to question your orders just a hair sooner, Dean might have made it and we wouldn't be standing here with Lucifer on our tails."
"It's not that simple."
"It is when you know right from wrong."
"Dean said that to me. He seemed so certain."
Bobby couldn't help, but feel a puff of pride for Dean.
"That's because he is certain about it. Dean…" Bobby paused, trying to find the right words. "He's always known what the right thing to do was. His only blind spot is Sam. With Sam, he would break any rule. Sam would do the same."
"He saw what I couldn't see, what I denied seeing but was too afraid to defy. I thought he'd understand given his training with his father."
Bobby listened and understood.
"You thought you had the perfect soldier. After all, he's followed his father's orders all his life, right? Well, clearly you and your bosses didn't do your homework because if you had, you would have seen that Dean is more than what his father made him. He's better."
Bobby circled Castiel.
"Tell me, was all that destiny hogwash a lie? Was all of this just a ploy to get Sam and Dean to do your bidding?"
"No, I believe Dean to be one to defeat Lucifer. Prophecy says –"
"The HELL with prophecy! Don't you go quoting chapter and verse to me. I know it. I may not be a believer, but I know what's SUPPOSED to happen. What I don't know is if it will."
"I believe –"
"Do you really believe or are you just repeating the company line? Do you even know the difference?"
Castiel was silent. If he were to be honest, he wasn't sure where his belief ended and where indoctrination began. Bobby took his silence as an answer.
"I thought so. So you don't really know, do you? You've been told how it's all supposed end. Dean, like the archangel Michael, will defeat Lucifer and Paradise will reign. Sounds like such a happy ending, don't it? Only I don't think it's the truth. You're sending Dean into the lion's den to die for a cause you, yourself, aren't sure you believe in anymore. But you know what? Dean will go. Not because of your prophecy or to give the world Paradise, he could give a rat's ass about Paradise, no, Dean will go because he believes in people, all their weaknesses, all their pain, he will do it to save them."
Bobby's throat choked with emotion at the thought that no matter what had been written, Dean would have to write his own chapter, but at least he wouldn't be alone. Bobby would make sure that he would be by Dean's side to whatever end comes.
"You love him like a son, don't you?"
Bobby looked into Castiel's eyes and nodded.
"If I believe in anything, it's him. Dean has seen his family through every possible tragedy and come out of it stronger. Even when he was broken, he gathered his will and kept moving forward. It's all any of us humans can do, keep moving."
"BOBBY!!!" Shrieked a voice that shook both men from their philosophical discussion. It was Dean.
Bobby ran up the stairs like lightening, not bad for a man his age, he thought to himself. Castiel was not far behind him. He burst through the doorway of one of the rooms and saw Dean's shattered expression.
"What? What is it?"
Dean turned his head towards Sam. Bobby saw Sam huddled on his bed, curled into a fetal position, rocking himself.
"I was telling him to go to bed and…and…"
"And what?" Bobby asked, seeing the desolation on Dean's face.
"He begged me to let him stay up and watch Sesame Street…" Dean said, feeling as if someone else were saying the words.
"What?" Bobby said.
"I think we've lost Sam, Bobby."
Sammy started to whimper and looked over at Dean, his face covered in tears.
"Had a bad dream, Dean. Bad monsters were coming to get me. I was running and running…please Dean. Don't let the monsters get me!"
Dean went over and Bobby marveled at Dean's gentleness towards Sam. He touched Sam's shoulder and rubbed it lovingly, comfortingly.
"Never gonna let it happen, Sammy. I'm here for you. I'll fight the monsters."
Bobby listened to Dean's words, knowing they meant more that just a big brother comforting a baby brother.
"Bobby? Are you here to fight the monsters too?" Sammy asked with the voice of a little boy.
It shook Bobby and he found tears forming in his own eyes.
"Yeh, son, Dean and I, we'll take care of things. Now, you just go to sleep, okay?"
"Okay," Sammy said, a boyish lilt back in his voice.
Sam allowed Dean to lay him down and Dean put the blanket over him. Sam fell fast asleep, all the pent up exhaustion immediately hitting him. Dean left the room and joined Bobby and Castiel back into the living room.
"Where have you been?" Dean asked Castiel bitterly. "We could've used your express service."
"I was keeping the archangel at bay."
"Great," Dean said as he sat heavily on the couch. "Sam's in shock. He's a kid again, Bobby."
"Can't blame him, makes sense after all that's happened. Sleep's all he needs."
"What if it isn't? What if Sam can't handle what he did and he stays…" Dean said. "I did this to him. If I had just listened to him –"
"Stop it, Dean. We don't have the time or the luxury to explore the 'what ifs". There's plenty to go around," Bobby said as he cast a glare in Castiel's direction. "You did the best you could. Sam made his choices like we all do. He'll have to live with what's he's done for the rest of his life and for now, he can't bring himself to face it. He will. We'll be there to help him. Give him time."
Dean nodded.
"What do we do now? Lucifer is out of his cage and now we're out in the cold."
"I warned you of this –"
"SHUT UP!" Dean yelled as he rose up from the couch. "The one time you develop a spine and stand up for a change and you're lecturing me about the consequences! Don't you DARE go there with me! If you had let me get to Sam sooner, NONE OF THIS would be happening! You already know how I feel about what's to come. If you can't be helpful, then SHUT the HELL UP!"
"So, you're saying you've been disowned from Heaven?" Bobby interjected. "All contact broken?"
"Yes. Just like Anna had been."
"Operative words, had been," said a female voice.
They all turned.
"You angels have GOT to learn to announce yourselves," Bobby teased.
"Welcome to my world," Dean teased back.
Anna turned towards Castiel and walked up to him.
"Cas, you did the right thing. You were the only truly faithful voice among them. Staying loyal to them would have been the wrong thing, by breaking away because you knew what they were doing was wrong, you remained true to your beliefs."
"I wish I had your conviction," Castiel said.
"You do, you just need time to come to terms with it. You still have doubts. It's normal."
"Can you help us, Anna?" Dean asked.
"I'm here to help, but like Castiel, I have no powers beyond what's been given to all of us."
"Then why are you here?" Bobby asked.
"Because you are not alone in this fight."
"You've informed the others of the betrayal," Castiel said in realization.
"Not everyone, but as many as I could. They all feel as you do, Cas. They feel sullied by the lies they have been told, but they are determined to right things."
"Great, so we have more powerless angels on our side. I feel better now," Dean said in his usual sarcastic tone.
"Dean, they will be invaluable when the time comes and in the meantime, they will be our eyes and ears on Zacariah," Anna insisted.
"How do you know he hasn't figured things out by now?"
"We don't, but what can be done is being done," Anna said.
Dean looked at her and realized that he was being ungrateful and impatient.
"I know. Thanks. I'm just tired and Sam…"
"I'm sorry about Sam. I'm sorry I didn't see it coming," Anna said. "All I could feel was a change in him, nothing more."
"Don't be. Like Bobby said, we make our own choices. We gotta live with them now."
"Get some sleep, Dean, you can barely stand," Bobby insisted.
Dean nodded and went back upstairs to watch over Sam. As tired as he was, he didn't think he could sleep. Thinking of how he had left Sam made his heart ache. It didn't matter what anyone else said, what drove Sam to do what he did was his fault. Ruby may have pushed him along, but when it had counted, Dean had pushed Sam over the edge instead of pulling him back off of it.
When Dean entered, Sam was fidgeting as if in a dream. He sat on the bed and gently shook Sam.
"Yo, Sammy, wake up. You're having a -"
Sam then rose up bolt upright, breathing hard. He looked over at Dean.
"Hey, hey, you okay?" Dean asked, worry creasing his forehead.
"Did it really all happen? Did Lucifer really…"
Dean was relieved that Sam was back to being Sam, but sad that Sam would now have to face what he had done.
"Yeh, yeh, it happened," was all Dean said.
"My God…"
"Sam, we'll figure out what to do next. Cas is here so is Anna."
Sam's expression turned grim.
"I think I'm the last person they want to see."
"That's where you're wrong. They want to help. They know it wasn't your fault –"
"How can you say that? I broke Lucifer out. Me! No one else."
"You never would have done it if you knew killing Lillith would break him out. Ruby conveniently left that detail out. And me, well, Cas and Zacariah, they pretty much put me in a gilded cage. I didn't get to you in time. Bottom line, it's my fault. If I hadn't pushed you away, been like Dad, I'd have been there for you, but I wasn't."
"Dean, you're not Dad and you were right. You were right all along…funny, I even told Ruby that," Sam said, regret in his voice. "I'm sorry for not believing in you."
"Right back at you," Dean said, a slight smile on his face.
Sam smiled back.
"We good?"
"We're good, Sammy."
Sam then had a strange look on his face.
"What? What is it?" Dean asked.
"Nothing. Strange dream. Something about Sesame Street."
Dean's smile grew wider. He hadn't smiled like that in a long time. He knew that no matter what happened next, they would face it together and that was enough for him.
FIN. This might have a sequel, but I haven't thought one up for it yet. I wanted to post this instead of waiting in case it doesn't hit me. If inspiration hits, of course I'll post, but in the meantime, I hope this will make you smile.