Gripping Hold of Redemption

Spoilers for first episode of Season 5

'Dean…'

Sam Winchester looked above his laptop, towards his older brother, who was loading various weapons into a blue duffel bag. Dean glanced a look towards his brother before placing the bag on the floor, and throwing himself onto the hotel bed.

'What Sammy?'

Sam closed the lid of his laptop, swivelling his body around on the brown oak chair he had been sitting on. He took a dry gulp before replying to Dean.

'You ever think it would be easier…you know…to let Michael take you?'

Dean's eyes flamed although his facial expression remained in a state of calmness.

'Take me? This isn't some kidnapping contest in which the archangels see who can nab me first!'

'I didn't mean it like that…'

Sam rose from his chair, standing up, looking towards the floor.

'I just meant that you would be able to end all this…'

Dean shot up from the bed, scoffing as he walked towards his brother.

'How Sammy? How the hell am I gonna kill the frickin' Devil? Even if Michael used me as a vessel, Lucifer is too damn strong!'

'Not if he has the right meat suit'

Taking the chance to steal a look from Dean, Sam saw the disgusted look in his brother's eyes – the look of utter disbelief.

'Sammy, please don't tell me you are thinking yourself…please tell me you have learnt from the last time!'

Sam's face suddenly changed to an expression of belief and determination. He took Dean's shoulder in his hand as he began to explain.

'Think about it Dean! If Lucifer uses me, and you allow Michael to use you, then Michael is sure to kill Lucifer and end this damned apocalypse!'

'Sam…no!'

'I'm strong Dean…'

'No'

'Dean?...'

Suddenly Sam's shirt was in the hands of his brother, looking towards him in an upset state.

'No! Drop it Sammy…you always think that what you do is for the right thing, but it's the complete opposite! Just listen to me for once in your god dam life – Michael is not using me, Lucifer is not using you, and the only way for us to end this is to fight with our guns and frickin' devils traps…even if it kills us.'

Dean let go of Sam, pausing before he picked up the bag and slung it over his shoulder.

'Now please…let's go…'

'Go where?'

'Bobby's in hospital remember?' Dean shook his head, before exiting the hotel room, leaving Sam to his own thoughts.

Sam knew what he was thinking was the right thing, despite what Dean had said. He was strong now – granted, he wasn't drinking any more demon blood, but still strong in his mind and fighting power. That had to count for something and if he had the chance, he would do it…and then he could finally redeem himself for all the destruction he had caused. Sam knew he had started hell on earth…so he was going to end it…even if it killed him.

God dam it Dean….you KNOW it's the right thing to do.

Sam sighed as he proceeded to walk out of the hotel room, always with the ever burning thought of letting Lucifer take him, just so Dean could deliver the final blow, and end this hellfire for good.

He was gripping hold of the only thing that would allow him to redeem himself…

And he wasn't going to let it go.