A very strange and random one-shot story.
I was getting pasta for my lunch when I thought of this.
I guess stories can come from strange places and things.
A little....perhaps a lot out of character for Kanda, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to write him like this XD too funny when people think he's a girl.
WARNING: Yes, this is a bit of shonen-ai, deal with it.
___
It was about two in the afternoon.
Kanda Yu observed this fact on the grandfather clock in the hallway as he walked back to his room, a bowl of soba in his hand. After the last mission, everyone had been relaxing the day away so Kanda didn't have to worry about anyone getting in his way as he had debated his late lunch.
Having heard nothing but murmurs thus far, Kanda was surprised to hear a sharp "Huh?!" come from a hallway to his right.
Narrowing his eyes, Kanda turned down this hallway instead. His meal could wait a few minutes.
At the end of the hall stood a few figures Kanda recognized and a few he didn't. Allen Walker, Komui Lee and Lavi were facing a pair of tall people in very official suits. They had the badges and the rose cross that marked them as high ranking individuals in the Order.
Why were the higher ups here?
Kanda leaned in closer, keeping close to the wall so as not to be seen.
"You are a Bookman's apprentice, are you not?" One of the officials was glaring at Lavi.
"Well yeah, but-" Lavi was interrupted as the other official spoke up.
"You are not an exorcist. Spying is prohibited, so why are you, a recorder, here?" A cruel smirk crossed the officials face, as though disposing of unnecassary things (or in this case, people) was amusing.
"Why is this even an issue? I haven't done anything but help!" Lavi fought back, frowning.
"It is an issue because the matter has come to the concerns of some of our generals. They feel as if you could leak information and that cannot happen, especially in these crucial times." The first spoke again.
"Leak information!?" Lavi's eyes went wide.
The official on the right leaned in closer to his companion and murmured something too low for Kanda to hear. Luckily the second one spoke it aloud.
"Apparently we have a guest."
All eyes turned towards Kanda and the ebony haired boy froze, unsure of how to react.
"Oh. What a pretty girl." The first said with a grin.
Kanda's left eye twitched. Girl?
"Ah....girl?" Lavi looked close to smiling. "That's Kanda."
"Kanda. A bit masculine, but I like it. Come over here so I can see your face better, missy." The first continued.
Kanda seethed. All he had wanted to do was listen in to see what was happening and he got this for his trouble.
"Um....gentlemen." Lavi edged towards Kanda, an idea clearly forming in his head, and the black haired boy's eyes snapped in his direction, frowning. "I am here in the Order for a reason."
"Oh? And what might that reason be?" The second official asked.
"We were keeping it secret, but....I'm here for my girlfriend." Lavi looked at Kanda, his eyes momentarily pleading before turning back to the officials with a small smile.
G-girlfriend?! Kanda? With Lavi?!
Kanda was pretty sure he had surpassed the highest level of confusion and anger. He felt Lavi grab hold of his arm and pull him forward, towards his previous position.
"Girlfriend? I think she's a little out of your league." Komui played along, smothering a laugh that Kanda didn't miss.
"I thought so too." Lavi laughed.
Oh that boy was a brilliant performer. Kanda watched the seamless act with wide eyes, unsure if running away would be seen as weakness or wisdom in this situation.
"But yes, I'm here for my girlfriend. I didn't want to say anything since Bookmen aren't supposed to be tied to anyone. But she can fend for herself, so I'm not particularly worried." Lavi kept on smiling, his grip on Kanda's arm shaky.
"Hmm. Is this true?" The second looked at Kanda for an answer.
What? Kanda couldn't answer! One word and his voice would give his gender away and Lavi would be--wait.....why was he worrying about Lavi, he was the one responsible for this mess.
"She's really shy--" Lavi began but was cut off by the second official again as he repeated his question, louder this time, adding, "She can speak, can't she?"
Kanda cleared his throat and vowed to kill his audience once this was over. He tried to bring his voice higher and he murmured a quick, "Yes."
"Yes, you can speak, or yes, this story about you two is true?" The first chimed in.
"Both?" Kanda answered with a slight raise of his eyebrows.
Lavi's face lit up at the act and he carried on full force.
"Well, there you have it, it's out. Gentlemen, if you would kindly leave us alone, I'm sure I have some explaining to do." Lavi laughed and eyed Kanda.
Oh yes, this baka usagi would have A LOT of explaining to do once this was done.
"I'm not convinced." The first said, stopping the attempted goodbye abruptly. "She seems too.....confused."
"I told you, she's shy." Lavi's hand gripped Kanda's arm tighter and the black haired boy bit his bottom lip as he felt nails dig into his skin.
"So take the initiative. You are her boyfriend, correct?" The second joined in.
"I don't want to pressure...--" Lavi could feel his chances slipping and stopped talking, allowing the officials to continue.
"A real girlfriend wouldn't just stand there, stiff at her boyfriend's side. There's something tense about her." The first said.
That's because this girlfriend is actually an angry male exorcist, was the thought on every one's mind as they watched the officials murmur to each other.
Kanda was thankful that throughout this, Walker hadn't said a word or so much as looked in Kanda's direction since he had entered. Whether that was fear of laughing at the situation or respect, Kanda wasn't sure and would find out later and punish accordingly, but it was still a relief that at least one thing was going okay.
"Kiss me." A hiss from Kanda's left brought the boy's attention back to the redheaded Bookman.
"Nani?" Kanda whispered in return.
"Kiss. Me. It may convince them if we show affection." Lavi eyed Kanda a bit desperately and turned back to watch the officials turn away from them, murmuring about something too low for the group to hear.
"I am NOT kissing you, baka usagi!" Kanda hissed as quietly as he could, eyes focused on the officials.
"Fine then." Lavi yanked on Kanda's arm, bringing the smaller boy to face him and forcefully pushed his lips against the Japanese boy's own.
Kanda froze, his entire body unable to move from shock as those surprisingly soft lips caressed his own, an unfamiliar tongue coming out to coax its way into Kanda's mouth. The moment that tongue met his own, Kanda was in unfamiliar territory. He felt his knees go a bit weak and was glad that Lavi had wrapped an arm around him for support.
Not that Kanda was enjoying it, no, not at all. The feeling of Lavi's skilled tongue exploring his mouth was definitely not sending strange shivers along Kanda's back. The lips that kept moving, never parting from Kanda's for more than a moment was not creating a heat between them that Kanda wanted to simply sink into. That arm that gripped him and that hand that was dangerously close to Kanda's hip didn't make Kanda want to push closer against the redheaded teen, not at all. And those fingers, that had oh-so-subtly lifted up the hem of the Japanese boys shirt enough to stroke the fingertips along Kanda's skin hadn't just made a series of shivers travel through every inch of his body.
No, of course not.
Just as Kanda was dangerously close to losing his self control, Lavi pulled away, his one green eye focused solely on Kanda's own dark eyes. A small smile graced his features and he helped Kanda steady himself.
"Well..." A voice said, breaking the strange spell Kanda had been in. "That was convincing alright."
"Oh." Lavi's seamless act was back on and he put up a shy smile. "I didn't think you'd actually watch that."
Liar.
Kanda was in too much of a daze to respond to any questions, though his mind did register that there would be some severe punishing later today.
Guess the soba would have to wait just a little longer.