Chapter One
She could still feel the heat radiating from what was left of the funeral pyre when Alarbus commented on the anomalous chill. She watched from the corner of her eye as her brother lovingly draped a woolen cloth over Janus' tiny body. The boy stood silent beside his uncle; he had not spoken since late morning, when she collected the body of a father he barely knew from the House of Quintus Lentulus Batiatus.
"I said there is a chill, Aurelia. Come, retire to the tent. A long journey awaits us on the road to Sicilia." He paused, waiting for her response. "Aurelia."
Marina approached the girl with caution, shooting a reprimanding glance at her husband. As with most kind, stoic men, he was blessed with a soft heart and a harsh tongue. Alarbus nodded at his wife, acquiescing to her wisdom, and led the boy into the tent so he may find diversion with his cousins.
"Aurelia?" Marina placed her hand upon her shoulder, taken aback by how warm the skin was. "You must rest. Trials of a difficult day weaken and you require strength to travel."
Aurelia turned to her sister in law; the lifeless look in her eyes was terrifying. Short of a few renegade tears escaping her eyes, Aurelia had yet to weep for her Varro. Marina feared the loss of her husband had broken the once cheerful girl's mind.
"I cannot depart from Capua laden with Varro's many debts. I cannot bear such a burden outside these city walls." She spoke with inhuman steadiness.
Marina stroked her dry cheeks with love. "No one will pursue you to Sicilia to claim repayment, Aurelia. Fear nothing. Wipe the debts from your conscience and leave this damned place."
Aurelia tried to express anger but her grief strangled the emotion. "Varro died for those debts. He placed himself in servitude to release himself from those bonds. I must remain here. I must!"
Marina pressed on; raising four children prepared her for fevered negotiation. "And what will you do? What possible purpose can you serve in Capua? Varro was a rising gladiator in the most exalted ludus in Capua and he was yet unable to clear away his debts."
Aurelia, still steady in her purpose, replied in a measured tone. She knew Marina cared for her and would eventually understand her insistence. "I will seek employment."
Marina looked toward the tent and heard sounds of laughter and play. She could easily distinguish Janus' laugh from the others; he sounded like his father. The boy's impish smile would haunt his mother, reminding her of happier times with Varro. "And what of the boy? And the child resting in your womb? Would you deprive Janus of the company of his cousins? And what of Titus? Have you received confirmation that the cut had lethal consequence? Aurelia." Marina turned the girl with a firm hand, hoping to shake her back to her senses. "What if he lives?"
"No punishment inflicted upon me will match..." Aurelia's eyes welled up once more, but her body would betray no other reaction. "I would have Janus taken away from this place, in your care and in comfort of cousins' love. I can attempt to outrun my past, Marina. Or I can end this."
Marina instinctively wrapped her arms around Aurelia. "Why the fuck are you so courageous?" She felt Aurelia's hands touching her elbows and her heart broke for her friend. "I will speak to your brother. He will see the logic in your words. However painful they may be."
"Gratitude." Aurelia pulled Marina from her and looked into her eyes with purpose. The stare sent a chill down Marina's back and she feared Aurelia's next words. "Before you depart for Sicilia, I would ask one last favor of you."
The passing hours brought painful dreams and more chills. The pyre's embers were finally extinguished and only cold ash remained. Aurelia feared she would never sleep soundly nor feel warm again. She imagined the heat of the pyre was the last warmth her husband would give her. His skin was as alabaster upon his death. If she had known their embrace upon reunion would be their last… she would never have released him. She wrapped her blanket around her, as she had for the past year and a half, pretending it was Varro's strong arms enveloping her. The trick was ineffective, and she could not shut her eyes.
Early the next morning, Aurelia walked through the streets of Capua as a stranger to the city. Since Varro's death, everything seemed foreign. Even her son, who bore such remarkable resemblance to her husband, was unrecognizable. She covered part of her face with her veil to avoid detection; her first task was dangerous.
"Oranges! Grapes! Sugar beets! Olives! Take your pick! Oranges-" The man stood stunned when Aurelia revealed her face for a moment. Felix gestured to her and quickly began to close the wooden panels around his stand.
"Oy! I wanted some fucking beets!" Marcellus cried out, rubbing his hand where the panel struck.
Felix sneered as Aurelia hid behind him. "Marcellus, you shit fucking pimp! I am closed until midday meal; return then." He closed the final panel and drew Aurelia behind the crates of produce. "You live! My cheeks are still wet with news of Varro's death."
Aurelia's throat seized at the mention of her husband's name. She knew she could trust Felix; he was the only man outside her family to whom she revealed her crime. "I require information. Regarding the merchant Titus. Felix… where is the villain?"
He looked at her with concern. "You do not know? He breathes no more. His shriveled old cunt of a widow scours the city for his murderer. She will not admit it but I know she has knowledge of the offense he committed." Felix simmered with anger. He could do little to defend his friend; he was a poor cripple with a tiny fruit stand. "She searches for you, Aurelia."
"Oh, fuck. The Gods themselves cannot save me." She tore at her hair in frustration. "I seek employment in Capua to absolve myself of Varro's debts, yet I cannot step foot in the streets for fear of capture."
"There is one path not yet explored." Felix whispered, taking her wrist with his lame hand; her sympathy always calmed her. "You may seek assistance from Batiatus."
Aurelia raised an eyebrow. "Batiatus? How will-"
"Batiatus' ludus is far removed from the center of the city and well-protected. No wife of a lowly merchant would dare approach the most lauded lanista in Capua." He tilted her head toward him to focus her attention; in her current state, she seemed bewildered and composed at the same time. "You could enter his employ, thereby working toward payments to Varro's debt and rescuing yourself from the wretched widow of Titus."
Aurelia kissed her friend's hand. Felix found solution to every tormenting problem that darkened her mind. "You have a mind sharper than Mars' sword. I must go and beg a word with the man. Although…"
He read her expression, anger under grief and desperation. "You think of Spartacus? And the dilemma of living in such close quarters with the man who slew your husband. A gladiator's hand is no longer his own, once brand seers skin. You cannot place blame in Spartacus. Go, now. If anyone in the market learns of your return-"
"Much gratitude, old friend." She embraced him and left the stall, walking through back alleys to the ludus on the hill.
Felix's words echoed in her ears. Could she ever forgive Spartacus, the man her husband called friend, brother, ally? Could she look into his face and see anything but a heartless killer, who wiped her Varro from the land of the living as carelessly as one swats a fly? A lamentable thought entered her mind: there is no other way.
Chapter two, coming soon!