Memories
WN: Hi! This is my first fic for this fandom, so sorry for any errors or anything … bad? Go easy, please? Oh, and I'd love a review and constructive criticism. Sorry that July might be a little OOC but he kind of has to be in this super duper short one-shot. I might consider rewriting it sometime. btw, this is happening after the ending of Darker than Black. It just really bothered me and I just HAD to write this haaha :D Thank you for reading :D
Right. I just realised that everyone was sure to have no memories. Sorry. Ah well, let's pretend that didn't happen. I've very sorry.
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She probably doesn't remember, but he does. It might just be punishment given by Shion; he wasn't at all too sure. He didn't even know if it mattered any more.
He was glad that he did allow him to stay in her world. Too grateful.
He was pretty sure he would rather die than to know he would never see her again – than to know that she never existed… never smiled at him, never at all had saved him from himself.
Thanks to Shion, however, it felt like he had human feelings. At first, he thought them as an evolution as a doll, but he was wrong. He no longer had his ability to seek any more. It left him feeling useless.
But now, he claimed feelings he never had. They were just so new to him to him. It surprised him that he could smile; smile like a human, rather than to force his cheek to make his mouth curl.
He smiled again to prove his point. It felt natural.
He touched his cheek and traced circles around them. It tingled a little, but it felt alright. He was thinking of all the new things he could learn about being human, and how he had a chance, even if it was a little one, to be with her.
Suou was beautiful, and the Suou that lived in his memories was even more so. In those memories, she would hold his hand tight, and run away. Run away from the rest of the world. Sure, it was difficult, but he was okay with it. It didn't really matter why they were running; he didn't need a reason when he was with her. It made sense to him, even if it was the most rubbish thing that came out of his mouth.
He used to watch tears roll out of her eyes, but said nothing. Now how he wished he could have made a difference. Wipe her tears away, to tell her that it was okay, everything was okay, even at the worst of times. Yeah, he wished he could have done that.
He once lived with death all around him, when he still worked for MI6 with November 11 and April. He was always the one to seek – to find – duty of the doll. He liked April and November, and all that was left of them was a mere memory. He held this memory close, but found no need to keep hold on them forever. He decided once that he was ready to forget, he would. He needed new space for new memories, and the painful things, well, he could always forget them.
He wasn't too sure still. It was all just a bit overwhelming for him.
Even though he still had his memories of her, he couldn't let them go. He liked her too much to. Since he was born into this new world, they had become total strangers to each other. She had lost her old voice, her memories… Perhaps that was the best for her though. He couldn't let go of these memories though. Now that she had forgotten, it meant that his memories meant more. The longing chained onto his heat, and never once had those feelings started to sway.
Now he was even more confused.
The last time he had seen her face to face was quite a while ago, in the aquarium where her fake dream lived. Now in the new world, he dream was granted, but not in the way she would have hoped for.
He knew, he knew she was aware.
Aware that something was missing, aware that people were watching her – in a way, she was right. He was watching her, Shion was watching her, and sometimes, Hei did too.
Perhaps living in this world, in this way was the best for her. Just to see her smile truthfully everyday told him this was the life she should be living.
He could feel this tightening feeling in his heart though, somewhere along the way. He was surprised to even find he had one. This unexplainable feeling … it ached, but it wasn't unpleasant.
He is standing under the rain now, holding onto an umbrella given to him, waiting… waiting…
She appeared, as he expected her to. She was smiling – that smile that he rarely saw – the smile he loved so much – holding hands with a boy of her age.
They walked past him as if he wasn't there.
Suou… He badly wished that he was the one next to her, laughing with his new emotions, comforting her when she was feeling down…
No matter what happens in the future though, he wanted to believe. His memories of those days awoke him. He'll never forget them, never, ever.