On my fourth birthday, I decided I wanted to be a ninja. I can't quite remember the details before that point. Somehow, I ended up in the arms of a ninja. His hands, where they touched me, felt slightly rough and dry. Beneath their strong exterior there was a strength that I dimly realized could – and probably – had killed a man. He smelled of the forest and sweat and metal. It was a comforting, masculine scent, a scent that was safe and… familiar somehow. He set me down carefully and I was quietly amazed at his gracefulness. His muscles flexing impressively as shoved his hands in his pockets. The man gave me a small smile.
I was in complete awe. I wanted to be that cool too. I wanted to be able to protect little children from themselves like he had just done.
I ran to my mother who hefted me up and squealed "Mommy! Mommy! I want to be a ninja just like him!" I pointed at the ninja and heard a quiet chuckle.
"Thank you for helping her. I don't know what I would have done if she had been seriously hurt." My mother said, completely ignoring me. "What do you say to the nice, young man, Sakura?" she asked me.
"Thank you very much, mister!" I said with a wide grin. "Will you teach me to be a ninja?" I pleaded, clasping my heads and leaning towards him.
My mother admonished me, saying that a shinobi was not the profession for a proper girl like me.
"Well, if you're mother will allow you, maybe someday." He hedged, with a small smile before he started edging away.
"Thank you again." My mother called after him.
On my sixth birthday, I managed to convince my father to let me take the ninja placement exams that afternoon. He reluctantly agreed. He probably figured that because I had come from a long line of merchants my chakra would be negligible.
The hours leading up to the test were some of the most nerve-wracking of my short life. When the proctor called my name, I struggled to stand because my legs were so shaky. I followed the man into a room and we sat down at a table.
"How are you today, Ms. Haruno?" he asked me.
"Ok. I'm a little nervous. What about you?" I asked, hoping he could understand my rushed reply.
He smiled kindly at me and replied "I'm very good. Now, I'm going to take your hand and we'll enter a genjutsu together. It's not real, so don't be afraid of anything that happens."
I nodded and set my hand in front of him. He took it and suddenly all the lights went out. The feeling of the proctor's hand left mine and I bit down on the whimper that was rising in my throat.
I realized that this could only be part of the test. I stood up and felt my way towards where I thought the door was. Maybe if I went into the hallway there would be light.
My hand fell on the door knob and I slowly turned it. My heart was beating crazily and all of my breaths echoed in my ears. I quietly opened the door and slipped out into the hall.
The hallway was extremely dim and stretched out in front of me for what seemed like forever. I looked behind me to see the same thing. I decided to walk to the right.
There were no other doors along the wall, and it grew progressively dimmer as I continued along.
Soon, it was so dark I could barely see my hand in front of my face. I continued forward with my right hand on the wall. It felt like I had been walking for an eternity.
Then I heard it.
Footsteps. They stopped when I did and I could only barely hear them when I was walking. But they were there. I was sure of it.
Finally, I could make out a light. It was a strange reddish color, but it was light. I didn't dare look over my shoulder to see what was following me.
I reached the light, and the end of the hallway. There was a door. There was a fire symbol on the door. I stepped closer to the door.
I was studying the door when there was a small shuffling sound and then a low thud. I froze and strained my ears for more noise. Then there was a rattling breath and another shuffle and thud.
It was coming closer.
I scooted up against the door and started to try to find a way through the door.
I got more desperate as the thing sounded like it was right behind me. I imagined I could feel its breath against the back of my neck.
Then I remembered what the proctor had said. None of it was real.
I turned around and waited for whatever it was to enter the circle of light. It came closer and closer and I finally saw what had been making those noises.
A kitten trotted into the light. I laughed. How could I have been scared of a kitten? I bent down to pick it up when suddenly everything vanished and I felt like I was falling.
I jolted up in my chair. The proctor released my hand and smiled at me. "You did very well, Ms. Haruno. I hope you decide to become a ninja. You have a lot of potential and Konoha would greatly benefit from your service."
I felt my eyes grow wide. "But… how can you tell?" I asked.
"You had the courage to face your fears." He explained. "Classes at the academy start next week. You'll be enrolled in special classes just for girls for a year or so and then you'll move onto the more general classes."
I nodded. I couldn't help the large grin on my face. I was sure it would stay there all day.
"Now, if you'll exit out of that door, you can meet your family and tell them all about how you passed the test." He said, pointing to a different door from the one we entered.
I thanked him for proctoring my exam and quickly left. It was one of the best birthdays ever.
I turned twelve during my first real mission. Naruto, Sasuke and I had been doing D-rank missions for a while for weeks we'd been begging Kakashi-sensei for an actual mission that took us out of the village.
We got what we asked for with a measly escort mission. Naruto complained, as per usual, that it was below him and he deserved a B-rank mission at least. Sasuke remained expressionless. Kakashi-sensei sighed and turned a page in his inappropriate books.
I was only excited about the fact that I would be sharing a tent with Sasuke. Maybe during the night I could ease our sleeping bags together.
When my birthday rolled around, I was miserable. The night before, Sasuke called me annoying and Naruto kept irritating me with stupid questions. The man we were escorting was old and uninteresting. Kakashi-sensei was ignoring. I still wasn't sure how he managed to walk and read at the same time, but I guess when I was as successful as he was I would probably be able to do it too.
We passed a puddle on an otherwise dusty road and I realized how thirsty I was. I reached to pull out my water bottle when Kakashi-sensei suddenly pushed me out of the way.
I fell to the ground ungracefully, dirt getting all over my outfit. I looked up to see Kakashi-sensei holding off an enemy ninja.
I quickly leapt to my feet and ran over to where our client was also laying in the dirt. Sasuke was grappling with the other ninja, while Naruto was watching the battle looking for a way to jump in.
I watched as Sasuke performed fantastic maneuvers, and blocked all of the enemy's punches and kicks. Ok, maybe not all of them, but most of them.
Suddenly, the enemy managed to get around Sasuke and came running towards the client and me. I pulled out a kunai and prepared for his attack. Then, I was no longer looking at the enemy, but Naruto's back as he blocked the ninja.
I felt annoyed at Naruto, because he'd taken my chance to prove myself to Sasuke and that just wasn't cool.
"Stay near the client, Sakura." Sasuke said as he ran past and my heart lifted. He thought I was capable. But then he added "If you try to attack you'll just end up getting hurt."
I felt my heart fall. Sasuke didn't think I could handle myself in a fight. I was torn. Sasuke wanted me to stay safe, but he also didn't think I could handle an enemy. I would find some way to show him that I could handle myself.
Soon, the altercation was over and the ninja were subdued. Naruto had somehow poisoned himself. He and Sasuke argued for a few minutes before he ended up stabbing his own hand and making some dumb promise that he would probably forget about in an hour. I rolled my eyes and heard Kakashi-sensei sigh beside me.
"What an idiot." Our client muttered under his breath. I mumbled an agreement before we continued on our way.
I spent my entire sixteenth birthday in bed. I had come down with the flu and I was completely miserable. Only I would have luck this bad.
Visitors came in and out all day to see me. Even Tsunade came in to make me an herbal tea to help with my cough and runny nose.
Naruto sat with me for a few hours and we talked and laughed over stupid things. Sai drew me a picture of a Sakura blossom. Then he ruined the gift by drawing a quick sketch of me in my state. I punched him in the head and then kicked him out of my house.
Ino gave me a pedicure. It wasn't too horrible. She talked about the latest chunin she'd managed to snag and how good of a kisser he was. I couldn't help but roll my eyes during most of it. Some things just never changed. We watched whatever was on TV for a little while before she eventually left, saying she had a hot date that night.
Yamato checked in on me and brought me an extra blanket. It was incredibly soft and I ditched my old, ratty one for his as soon as I could.
We discussed past missions for a little bit and then he, too, left.
I decided to catch up on some of my reading before I went to sleep. It was almost ten o'clock and I was feeling tired from my sickness.
My stomach rumbled and I realized I'd barely had anything to eat all day. I would've killed for some chicken noodle soup at that moment.
Then a familiar ninja was throwing himself down on the couch beside me.
"Kakashi-sensei, what are you doing here?" I asked him. I hadn't expected him to visit me while I was sick.
"I'm not your sensei anymore, Sakura." He said exasperatedly.
"Oh, hehe, sorry. I keep forgetting. Anyway, Kakashi, you never answered my question." I said.
"Well, I was avoiding Gai and I realized that this would be the perfect place to wait until he leaves the immediate area." He said.
"Mmhmm." I said, disbelieving.
"I brought soup." He said, flatly.
"Why didn't you say that in the first place? Stay as long as you want!" I said with a big smile.
He rolled his eyes, or rather eye, and walked into the kitchen. I followed behind him.
"Shouldn't you be lying down?" he asked me as I hoisted myself onto the counter.
"I've been laying down all day." I replied.
Kakashi didn't reply, just poured the soup into some bowls from a takeout container. I was pleased to see that it was chicken noodle.
He handed me my warm bowl and I smiled. "You know me so well."
"Well I have known you for quite a while now." He said.
We fell silent as we consumed our soup. When only a little of the broth was left at the bottom of mine I said "Tell me something about you that I don't know."
Kakashi fell silent for a few minutes as he thought about his reply. "When I was little… I decided I didn't want to be a ninja."
I felt my eyes grow wide. "What?" I asked.
"It's true. I couldn't stand the thought of killing someone." He explained. "Then, one day my father took me for a walk to the memorial stone. He told me about some of the names on the stone. His friends, his team mates, people he'd grown up with. All of them had willingly given up their lives to protect what was most important." He paused.
"Then he explained that as a shinobi I, too, would lose friends, family, and team mates. There was nothing I could do about it. Death is a natural part of life after all. I hated my father at the moment. He was telling me all my friends would die and I could only sit back and watch. I wanted to run away from these truths, but my father hadn't finished speaking yet."
I had never heard Kakashi speak this much before. I was glad that he had chosen to open up to me. Out of all my friends, he was the one I knew the least about. Although, that didn't mean that we weren't close. Kakashi made me feel safe. On all the missions we'd ever been on together I had never doubted his abilities to get us home safely. I knew I could always depend on him for that.
"'The reason people become shinobi is not for themselves. No one would ever willingly take this job knowing the things they would have to go through. No, instead, we do it for others; those who can't protect themselves: the young, the elderly, loved ones. The only way to keep them safe is to hone our own abilities until we can defeat every danger and keep our beloved village safe. That is why we are shinobi. That is why we kill, cheat, steal and do many other immoral things.' My father made me see how selfish I was being. I realized he was right and ever since then I have strove to be the best there is to keep those important to me safe." Kakashi stopped talking.
"Wow. I… I never knew. Thank you for telling me." I said. He wasn't looking at me and I found that he was embarrassed. I hopped off the counter and slowly neared him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid head against his chest. I could hear his heart beating strongly and that more than anything else made me feel safe.
"Thank you, really." I said, pulling away slightly to look him in the eye.
His eye crinkled and he joked cheerfully "If you tell anyone I'll have to kill you."
I grinned. "Don't worry your secret is safe with me."
I pulled away and leaned back against the counter. "Now tell me something about yourself." He said.
"I first realized I wanted to be a ninja… twelve years ago today, actually. I must have gotten myself into trouble because somehow I ended up in a random ninja's arms. I was amazed at his strength and power. I wanted to be just like him. Thinking back on it now, he must have been Anbu. He wasn't wearing his mask but he had on one of those white vests. When I ran back to my mother I immediately told her I wanted to be a ninja. She ignored me, but later she told me that it wasn't "proper" for a girl like me to be a ninja. I secretly vowed to prove her wrong and now… here I am." I said, and then I noticed the look on his face.
"What?" I asked, defensively.
Kakashi was wearing what looked like a huge grin under his mask. I didn't see what was so funny.
"I was four ok? I wasn't exactly the smartest thing walking around, ok?" I said.
Kakashi shook his head and took a moment to compose himself. "You were walking along a banister. Somehow you'd managed to slip away from your mother and climb to the top of a building. I think you were chasing after a butterfly. Anyway, you slipped and started to fall. Luckily, I happened to pass by and I managed to catch you. You looked amazed at my awesome abilities and you asked me if I would teach you to be a ninja."
"What?" I asked in disbelief. There was no way that could've been him. However… if he was – I quickly did the math in my head – eighteen at the time he would've been in Anbu then.
"No way. What a coincidence, huh?" I asked.
"Imagine my surprise when I found out I had a pink – haired little girl on my team." He said, with a smirk.
"Gods, I was so useless back then. I'm so glad I finally grew the balls to ask Tsunade to be my teacher." I said, thinking back on those dark days.
"Maybe, but you were young. You've certainly grown up since then." He said, folding his arms over his chest.
"Still that doesn't – " I was cut off by a huge yawn.
"Alright, I'd say it's time for bed." He said, then took my arm and pulled me into my bedroom.
I got in bed and pulled the covers up around me. Suddenly, he actually started to tuck me in.
I giggled. "What are you doing?"
"Tucking you in." he said in a duh tone of voice.
"You know… I'm not a little girl anymore." I replied softly.
He paused for a moment and then continued to tuck me in. His face was turned away so I couldn't see his expression. I thought I heard him mumble "I know" but it could've just been a cough.
He straightened and patted my head. "Good night, Sakura. Oh, and… Happy Birthday."
I sighed, already half – asleep. "Thank you, Kakashi."
When I turned twenty, Ino decided to take me out to a bar. I didn't really like the idea, but Ino insisted and when Ino wants something, Ino gets it.
She gave me a green dress that matched my eyes, but would surely be drawing attention elsewhere to my body, and gold high heels that tested every measure of my balance for me to walk in. Now at least I was a little bit above average height.
Ino was wearing a little black dress with emphasis on little. She was nearly popping out of both ends and I was sure some lucky guy would get an impromptu show. She was wearing black heels that were even taller than mine.
The bar she dragged me to had apparently just opened and it was packed. Every booth, table, chair, and stool was taken. However, with a flutter of eyelashes and a show of cleavage, Ino managed to finagle us two stools right in the middle of the bar.
Ino ordered us some girly alcoholic drinks, because it was clear I had no idea of any type of beverage. It was surprisingly good. It was fruity with only a hint of alcohol in it.
I soon finished the first one and was onto the second.
"Hey, Ino, I'm surprised no one has…" I looked over to see her chatting animatedly with some guy. He was pretty cute, I guess. He had wavy brown hair and blue eyes and if he didn't have that total douche bag feel to him I would've approved.
I sighed and focused on my drink.
"I've never seen you here before, gorgeous. What's your name?" a voice asked from beside me.
I laughed and looked over. A guy with short, dark brown hair and brown eyes was grinning at me.
I rolled my eyes. "I don't usually come to places like these."
"What type of places do you go to then?" he asked, leaning a little closer.
"The hospital mostly." Then I cringed inside. Ino had told me not to mention anything about work to anybody.
"That's so cool. Are you a nurse?" he asked.
I could see straight through this guy's ploy and I wanted to call him out on it, but really, he had been pretty nice, so far.
I fidgeted with the hem of my dress. His eyes were drawn to the movement and I waited until his eyes met mine again. He smirked when he saw that I had been watching him, watching me.
"What do you do?" I asked him.
"I was just accepted into Anbu and a few of my buds and I are celebrating." He replied.
Just as I opened my mouth to reply another man slid in between us and promptly shoved the new Anbu recruit off the seat.
"Hey! What the hell, man?!" he said.
"What was that?" the man between us asked.
"Oh, um, nothing, sir. Nothing at all." And then quickly ran off.
The man on the stool turned to me with a grin.
"Thanks, Genma. He was pretty transparent." I said, relaxing a little.
"I wish that dress was transparent. Damn, Sakura, you look great tonight." He said, eyeing me up and down.
I felt a hot blush rise to my cheeks and I punched his shoulder. "Hey, don't be a perv."
"Too late." He replied with a grin.
I rolled my eyes just as someone smacked Genma upside the head. I followed the hand to find Kakashi sitting in the seat Ino had occupied just a few minutes ago. She must've been getting an early start tonight. I inwardly sighed, but at least this way I had two familiar guys to talk to.
"Thanks, Kakashi. What would I do without you?" I asked sarcastically.
Under his mask, he grinned. "Die, probably."
I grinned back and shoved his shoulder. Then I turned to the bartender "Can I get another one of these?" He nodded and quickly set to work preparing my drink.
I chatted with Kakashi and Genma for a few minutes before Genma left to go flirt with a girl across the bar.
Kakashi and I drank together. It wasn't the first time we'd done so, and probably wouldn't be the last.
"I'm so ready for a mission." I complained. "Tsunade keeps me cooped up in that hospital all the time and it's so boring. Save me, Kakashi!" I mock – pleaded.
He chuckled. "Hm, I'll see what I can do. Maybe if you play your cards right I'll stage a jail break."
"I'll be waiting for the signal." I promised.
Suddenly, my favorite song came on. "Kakashi. Come dance with me. Right now." I insisted. I quickly chugged my drink before I grabbed his hand. As I was hopping off the stool, I stumbled. A combination of the over-the-top heels and alcohol had my balancing skills heavily impacted.
Kakashi caught me and I fell heavily against his chest. My eyes met his and I thought I saw… hunger in them.
I decided to ignore it though. It was only logical that he would be affected by our proximity. He was a man and I was a woman in a very revealing dress. Of course he would have a reaction.
I pulled him on to the dance floor and we started dancing together. He was surprisingly good. His hands stayed in appropriate places, but in my alcohol muddled mine I probably wouldn't have minded if they had strayed a bit.
The song turned into a slower, more sensual song. I stepped a little closer to Kakashi and I could feel his arms wrap more tightly around me. Our faces were less than half a foot apart and the way we were dancing was slowly becoming more… sexual.
I could see in his eyes the desire and he slowly slid his hand lightly over my dress clad bottom. I came in even closer until our fronts were nearly glued together. There wasn't an inch of space between us. My breasts were rubbing against his chest and I could feel myself becoming turned on.
He pushed forward on my ass so our hips came together and I could feel his arousal. I rolled my hips against his and smirked as he dropped his face to my shoulder and moaned.
The smirk melted off my face when he started placing kisses all over my exposed shoulders and neck. He even went so far as to flick his tongue around my ear and then took the lobe between his teeth.
I moaned and then I pulled away because if we went any further I wouldn't be able to stop.
I pulled him with me to the bar where I threw down some cash and then I was dragging him with me out of the club.
We made it a few blocks before he pulled me into an alley and pushed me up against a wall. He came very, very close until all I could see was him. He slowly leaned in, probably so I could stop him if I wanted to. Soon, my patience ended and I moved the last little distance between us and our lips met.
My hands moved up to his shoulders. One ran up and gripped in his hair while the other trailed down his arm.
His lips were warm and slightly moist and when his tongue traced the seam of my lips I willingly opened my mouth to allow him entrance. The kiss was hungry and hot, and only the beginning. His hand ran down my side, fingers just barely brushing against the side of my breast as they passed, then running over my hip until he gripped my thigh and wrapped it around his waist. My dress slid up even higher until it was almost to my hips. I was glad I had taken Ino's advice to wear some sexy underwear tonight.
Kakashi pulled his mouth away from mine and continued what he'd been doing on the dance floor. I felt his lips latch onto my pulse and suck. I gasped and I heard an approving growl from him.
He pulled away for a moment before forming a few hand signs for a teleportation jutsu. Then we were in my bedroom and he was turning me around. His fingers found the zipper. As he slid it down, he kissed each new, revealed piece of skin. They were feather light, but they affected me deep inside.
When the zipper reached its end, he straightened and slowly slipped the dress off my shoulders. It fluttered to the floor around my heels.
He swept me up into his arms and deposited me on the bed. He slipped down my body until he reached my feet and carefully undid each strap of the heels. He pulled them off and tossed them onto the floor before he kissed the arch of my foot.
The brush of his lips against my foot was a little ticklish and I jerked but he held my foot steady as he slowly started a long line of kisses up the inside of my legs.
My breathing began to grow more and more unsteady as he neared the apex of my thighs, but he simply dropped back down to my other leg and continued the same routine.
When he reached the same place he sat back and started pulling off his clothes. I watched raptly as each new inch of skin was revealed. He took off everything but his boxer briefs and then fell to hover over me.
He leaned down and kissed me long and hard. I was gasping by the time he pulled away. He kissed down my neck until he reached my breasts and paid them the attention they deserved. I gasped and moaned as his fingers and tongue teased me.
Soon, he was teasing me elsewhere and when I was ready he took off our remaining clothing.
He was careful with me. It wasn't my first time, but it had been awhile. I loved it. He blocked out everything else but him and when we were done he pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me. I snuggled into him with my head on his chest. I fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat pounding beneath my ear.
When I turned twenty-four, I had the worst fight with Kakashi we had ever had.
"I don't understand why this isn't enough! You're happy aren't you?!" he shouted out me from across the table.
"I almost lost you last month. Who knows what could happen! Do you know how upset I would be if you died?!" I asked him. My hands were clenching the wood so hard I was worried it might break.
"We're ninja, it's part of our job." He retorted.
"You've served Konoha for over three-quarters of your life. Give me some of it now." I pleaded.
His eyes softened. "I can't do that."
"Why not? Why can't you just take some time off to settle down and make a family with me? It's all I've ever wanted." I replied.
"Because it's not what I want." He said softly.
What? Did that mean he didn't want me? I mean, I know I was hard to deal with sometimes, but so was he! He was the love of my life though and I was willing to do anything for him. Did he not love me anymore?
I took a step back from the table and felt my eyes burn with tears.
"No, wait, Sakura. I didn't mean it like that." He reached out towards me, as if he could stop me from leaving.
"Yes, you did. You don't want me, or a child. Fine. I'm leaving. I never want to see your face again. I wish I had never danced with you in that bar." I turned on my heel and walked to the front door.
I heard him call after me but I only quickened my steps until I was running.
Down the street, up some stairs, down an alley, up a few more stairs, down another street. I kept running before I soon lost my way.
Somehow, I had ended up in a forest. I was exhausted and slumped at the base of a tree. The details of our fight came back to me and tears blurred my vision. I let them fall.
I curled into a ball and cried for a really long time. When I was done, the sun was practically obscured below the horizon.
I knew I should probably try to find my way out soon but I couldn't seem to make myself move.
A rustling sound in the underbrush before me and I tensed before a familiar shape trotted out.
"Hey, kid." He said.
I sighed. "Hey, Pakkun." The tiny dog walked over to me and climbed into my lap.
"I'm getting too old to keep doing this kind of thing." He sighed.
I let out a laugh despite myself. "You're practically ancient in dog years."
There was a pause and then "He's really worried about you, kid."
"I know." I replied and then I was crying again. Pakkun waited quietly for me to finish sobbing into his fur.
When I was done, he licked my cheek and said "Kakashi loves you very much. He's just an idiot sometimes. Let him explain himself."
I nodded and then he disappeared in a puff of smoke.
"Sakura!" Kakashi exclaimed as he crashed through the undergrowth. He swept me into his arms and quietly murmured "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" over and over into my shoulder.
I sighed. "Kakashi, I'm just upset because all I want in life is to start a family with you. Imagine how cute our children will be running around. I know you'll be a great father."
"I'm just worried that I might lose them someday. I wouldn't be able to handle that." He said quietly.
"I understand and we'll do everything we can to keep them safe and make them as strong as possible. I know you want this. It'll be the best thing you ever do. I promise everything will be ok." I knew I wouldn't be able to keep that promise but I could try my damndest to make sure it happened.
"Ok. Yes. Let's make a family. You win. God knows, I could never resist you anyway." He finally relented.
I grinned before I pushed my mouth against his. His arms wound around my waist and he lifted me up slightly to better reach me.
The kisses started to get more intense and I broke away for oxygen. "Do you want to start right now?" he asked me heatedly.
I felt my eyes widen "Let's wait until we get home." I said, pulling away but grabbing his hand in the process. I started to pull him along through the woods.
"If I last that long." He whispered in my ear, before he pulled me along in the right direction.
Yep, this whole baby thing was my best idea yet.