Disclaimer: (Sigh here we go again). Mulder and Scully aren't mine, they belong to CC, 1013 and Fox, yada, yada, yada. The song is from Ten Sharp, and is called You.
Author's note: A big thanks to Samantha, who is kind enough to beta-read my stories every time! Thansk Sam!
This time I'll tell you (1/1)
You are sitting there, working on the report of our last case, typing the words, sometimes just thinking how the hell you're going to explain one of my moves to Skinner. And you *will* find a way to explain it. For some reason, you always manage to find a way to make it sound acceptable for Skinner. And I'm supposed to be working too, but I'm not. All I'm doing is looking at you. Thinking how I'm going to tell you. I don't even know if I *should* tell you: you'll probably only laugh at me, or yell, walk out and ask Skinner for a transfer.
But I have to tell you. I can't hide the truth any longer - that would drive me crazy. The simple truth is that I love you. When you walked into my office for the first time, I fell for you. You were so mad that you were assigned to work with Spooky Mulder. Oh, of course you didn't say that, you smiled neutrally, but I saw it in your eyes.
That first case, when you were so scared of a few mosquito bites, when you came to my room, all I wanted to do was kiss you. Oh, of course I didn't do it. You would probably have filed charges for sexual harassment against me immediately. You hardly knew me then.
So we worked together, just like all partners do. Until that day that Duane Barry took you away from me. God, I haven't been more scared in my whole life than at that moment. I didn't care about anything else. I hardly ate or slept. I never told you, so you probably don't know, unless your mother told you, of course.
When they found you, I was so happy that the nightmare was over. For one moment, I thought of telling you how I felt, but the moment passed, and we moved on. Don't ask me why. Maybe I thought it would be easier this way, or maybe I thought I would wait and tell you later. But one week passed, then one month, two months and before I knew it, it was a year and a half later and still I hadn't told you.
Then the day came when you asked me to come to the hospital. You told me that you were sick, that it was cancer, and that you were going to die because it was inoperable. It was as if the nightmare had started all over again. I refused to believe it. You were not going to die, not my Scully. I would find a way to make you better, so I could tell you. But you came so close to dying. I was so close to losing you, but I didn't.
I was going to tell you, but I failed. Again. Because I got scared: what if telling you only hurt you? Look what working with me has done to you. So I didn't tell. Months later, the X-files were closed, our office burnt down. One evening, you came to me to tell me that you were going to be transferred, far away from Washington, far away from me. That's when I had to tell you, otherwise you would just walk out of my life. I couldn't let that happen. I came so close. I was about to kiss you, when that damn bee stung you. If that stupid bee hadn't stung you, I would have told you and we would have kissed. Instead of that, you disappeared, and I had to go to Antarctica to get you back.
When we returned, the X-files were re-opened, and that's where we are now. You and me, in this room, working, both with our own thoughts. Maybe I should just tell you now. I turn away from you, back to my computer, back to normal life. No wait. Not this time. I won't back out again. I'm going to tell you, right now, right here. "Scully?" I say it at the same time you turn to me, saying "Mulder?" We laugh.
"You go first, Scully."
"No, you go first, Mulder."
"Alright then, but promise me you won't laugh at me."
"I won't, I promise."
"Scully, do you remember Antarctica?"
"Of course I do. You don't forget something like that, Mulder."
"But do you also remember what happened before that?"
Your face turns red, your eyes open wide. You hadn't expected me to talk about what happened in my hallway a few months ago. You slowly nod.
"So you also remember what I told you?" I ask, my eyes focussed on her.
"Yes, but why are you telling me this Mulder?"
"Because I meant what I said, Scully. I meant what I was about to do, because I waited way to long to tell you, because I love you and because..." Before I can finish I hear a noise. I turn my face away from her, because I didn't want to see her reaction, in case she's laughing at me.
I turn around to look at her, but she's not laughing at all. She's crying. I quickly walk to her, pulling her into my arms. "Shhh, it's alright. I didn't want to make you cry. I understand if you don't feel the same, I just..." She stops my words by bringing her face close to mine. Then, as if in slow motion, she moves in even closer and kisses me. For one moment, I'm too surprised to react, but then I pull her even closer, my arms around her, and I return the kiss. A few minutes later, we let go of each other. Still in my arms, she gives me one of her beautiful smiles. "I love you too." It almost sounds like a promise, for whatever will come. And when we kiss again, we get lost, in each other, in our own world, right now, where it's just the two of us. The End
Epilogue
You're sleeping, lying in my arms, a smile on your face, even while you're sleeping. You look like an angel when you're sleeping. My angel. My star. Suddenly, I remember the words of a song I once heard. It's alright with me as long as you are by my side Talk, or just say nothing I don't mind your looks never lie I was always on the run, finding out what I was looking for and I was always insecure, just until I found Words often don't come easy I never learned to show the inside of me oh no my baby you were always patient, dragging out what I try to hide I was always on the run, finding out what I was looking for and I was always insecure, until I found You, you are always on my mind you, you're the one I'm looking for you, you're my everlasting fire you're my always shining star The night always a good friend, a glass of wine, and the lights down low and you lying beside me, me full of love and filled with hope You, you are always on my mind you, you're the one I'm looking for you, you're my everlasting fire you're my always shining star you're my always you're my always shining star you're my always shining star
"You'll always be my shining star," I whisper in your ear. You stir a little and move closer against me, and with a happy smile on my face, I fall asleep. This was it, what did you think of it? Feedback always welcome at voet@tanja-myrna.demon.nl, or take a look at my homepage: http://www.angelfire.com/oh/xfshippers/index.html