DAMNITT! How could I be so stupid to sleep with him? I knew I was not good enough for him, but then I had to be stupid enough to sleep with him. Making it worse he slept with me straight after his brother just tried to kill me. What kind of psycho does that? Then he was just plain evil, he left me alone in the woods after saying he didn't love me and that I was just a distraction. I hate him for that. But I hate his stupid sparkly self even more for what he has done to me. Here I am sitting on the bathroom floor puking into the toilet bowl like there is no tomorrow. That is right he let his brother almost kill me, got me pregnant, and then left me all alone in the woods to deal with it all by myself. Stupid sparkly vampire!
It does not help that he took his whole family with him as well meaning I have no idea what the thing growing inside of me is going to be like considering the father is a vampire. But I don't think it will be harmful as it just seems like a normal pregnancy to me so far – but I am only a month and a half along - and it isn't like it is sucking my blood or anything. I am scared to stay in forks though. What if it drinks blood when it is born? What if it sparkles in the sunlight? What if it kills me during the pregnancy or at birth? What if it hurts Charlie? What if it isn't normal? All of these questions are hitting me and trying to tell me to abort the baby, but I don't want to as there are also many questions of mine which point towards it being great. What if it is beautiful? What if it is the only thing that can get me through him leaving? What if it is the most perfect being in the world with the best of human and vampire?
That is it I have decided. I am keeping the baby, but there is one thing I need to do first; tell Charlie. The only thing is that I don't know how. He does not even know I have lost my virginity. It will be a big shock for him to find out his little girl is pregnant and that the father has left. Shit! What will he want me to do about it? He might want me to abort it; he might try and force me to abort it. What will I do if he does that? I am not going to abort my child, which means if he is against it I will have to leave to protect my child. I hope it does not come to that.
Shit! That is Charlie home now. I better tell him now to get it out of the way. I flushed the toilet, washed my face and brushed my teeth trying to hold off speaking to Charlie. After about 10 minutes of sorting I unlocked the door and made my way carefully downstairs being careful not to trip. I then turned to the door of the living room and listened carefully to see what Charlie was doing. He was watching some sports thing – it sounded like from all the cheering – and he was cheering. Well that is good; at least he isn't in a bad mood. I turned the door handle slowly and pushed the door open to find Charlie on the couch. It is now or never. I thought to myself. I walked into the room and sat in the armchair next to the couch and turned to face Charlie.
"Dad?" I said just louder than a whisper. Shoot! How am I going to say this? I should have thought about what I was going to say before I came down here.
"Yes Bells?" Charlie replied calmly but still partially distracted by the TV.
"I have something serious to tell you, but please don't freak out?" those few words caught his attention and he turned off the TV and turned to me with a serious look that said continue.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes – I just can't look in his face as I tell him this. I then spoke in such a low voice that would be extremely hard to here, "I am pregnant." He didn't respond. I couldn't even hear him breathing. I slowly opened my eyes to see his face go from white to red, red to purple, purple to blue and stay blue. "Dad? Breathe. Calm down. It isn't the end of the world," I whispered. Thankfully he started to breathe again and the colour of his face went back from blue to purple, purple to red and red to white.
"You are what?" he asked with obvious signs of anger in his voice.
"I am pregnant." I said just as quietly as before.
"You are pregnant? How stupid can you get? You only just turned 18 and you are still in school." He said with all the anger he could muster up.
"B-but..." I stuttered, but I was cut off with Charlie's rant continuing.
"Did you even think about your actions and entertain the thought of using contraception? What were you thinking even having sex in the first place and at your age too?"
"Hey! I am 18 now which means it isn't up to you what I do. I am a legal adult now. If I want to have sex I can. It isn't like you own me or my body." I froze. Shit! Did I just say that to my dad - Charlie?
He seemed to calm down a little as he realised that I was right, but you could still see the anger in his eyes. He took a couple of deep breaths then continued, "Who is the father?"
Great now I have to say his name, I haven't said it since he left. Charlie is going to freak. "Edward." I muttered.
"What? Did he find out you were pregnant and run away? Stupid, selfish boy. I never liked him. He is still too old for you and look what he has gotten you into."
"He didn't know I was pregnant. I was going to tell him but I didn't want to put the burden on his shoulders when he is going to be in Los Angeles. It would not have been fair to him."
"Fair? What isn't fair is that he has left you on your own to bring up a baby when you are still a teenager. Him staying here would have been fair, instead of him running off to the other side of the world." He fumed.
"Dad. Calm down. I will take care of the baby myself. I will get up for the morning feeds. I will change the diapers. I will do everything. I don't need any help from Edward. It is my child and I will look after it and care for it and love it forever no matter what." I said in a soothing tone as I really do mean everything I said.
"Fine then. Go to your room. Now." He said in a level voice.
I got up and headed back up the stairs to my room and found my phone. I now have to call Renée which will be so much harder than Charlie as she is against only two things; young pregnancies and young marriages. This ought to be a fun conversation. I keyed in my mother's number and listened for the ringing. After about 5 rings she picked up.
"Hello?" Renée said from the other end of the line.
"Hey mum." I said shyly.
"Oh, hello darling. What is up?" she asked with pure concern in her voice.
"I have something to tell you but please don't freak out like Charlie. I don't think I can take both of you being angry at me." I pleaded.
"There isn't anything you can do that will make me angry at you. Just tell me." She said with the concern still hanging about.
"Well... the thing is... I was going to say... erm..." I don't know what to say. How can I explain it to her when it is one of the only two things she hates?
"Just say it. I promise I will not be angry. You can trust me with anything."
"I'm pregnant." I whispered.
"Sorry darling, I can't hear you. Can you please speak up?
"I'm pregnant." I said slightly louder. God she is going to be so angry.
"Oh baby, that's great! I know i am always complaining about teenage pregnancy and how it is stupid but that was for me not you. You are mature enough to decide what you want to do with your life. I know you will make an excellent mother. Oh god i am going to be a grandmother so young. I am only 38. Some people are just becoming mothers at that age. You are making me feel so old." She giggled.
"You are not old just because you are a - to be - grandmother." I giggled along, "So what am i going to do about this? I want to keep it but i worry about Charlie because there will be so much baby stuff to buy and the baby will be crying all through the night."
"Just breathe. We will sort everything out in due time. Now tell me who the father is?"
"Edward. Mum you know i would never cheat so where did you get the idea it would be someone else's?"
"Well Edward has been gone for over a month so you might have become pregnant after that."
"Yes, of course, because i have had another boyfriend since then. You know if i got another boyfriend i would tell you because you are my best friend as well as my mum."
"Very well, Darling. Have you told Edward you are pregnant yet?"
"No, i really don't want to put the burden on his shoulders when he has just moved. I know he doesn't even expect me to be pregnant." I mumbled the last part. I mean he thinks he is infertile, him being a vampire and all.
"What do you mean? Are you saying that he wouldn't expect it because you were using contraception? Because you know contraception isn't 100%." She yabbered on.
"No, mum. He's infertile, well at least that's what he was told. I know contraception isn't 100%. Can we please get off this topic now?" i begged.
"Okay honey, but i still think you should tell him."
"I'll think about it. Bye." I mumbled.
"Bye, sweetie. I know you will do the right thing." With that she hung up.
I sat on my bed fumbling with my phone, trying to decide whether i should call him or not. I still have his number, but i was told never to call it. He didn't say to never call Alice though. I started typing in her number and i was just about to call when my phone started ringing. I checked caller ID but it was an unknown number.
I pressed the answer button on my phone and put it to my ear and spoke, "hello?"
"What's up Bella? Why were you going to call me? Is something wrong?" came Alice's concerned but chirpy voice from the other end of the line.
"Don't you already know, you being psychic and all?" if she does know and she is just trying to get me to say it i am going to find her and kick her ass – metaphorically of course.
"I only saw that you were going to call me. There is something or someone blocking you from me." She said huffily.
She really doesn't know? Maybe she will know something about whatever is growing inside of me though. "What do you know about vampire pregnancies?"
"That they are impossible." She stated matter-of-factly. "Why do you ask?"
"Because I'm pregnant."
"Who's the father? Because i know that it can't be Edwards. Shit! There is only one thing that i know of that can block my visions. Why the fuck are you sleeping with a werewolf?"
"I'm not sleeping with a werewolf. It's Edwards."
"Yeah right, like that would actually happen. Edward's a prude."
"Well, let's just say i cracked him," i said with a smirk to my voice.