Disclaimer I don't own any of these characters or Ncis! This story will contain mentions of rape and torture. Nothing graphic though.
During my usual jog in the morning I pass a park, I see many happy kids running around. My gaze flicks to all the parents. Joy radiates off of them as they see their children, playing, laughing, and having a good time. Pain travels through my vains and into my heart because, I could have had this life. Unfourtantly life is a beautiful thing but also a tragic. Sometimes it is taken away before the living actually has a chance to begin. Other times, life is taken away to soon.
I, Ziva David, could have given life to a child. Gods most precious gift. Now I will never have that chance again. That fate alone is worse than any pain I have endured during my life. Trust me I have had my fair share. Looking back on the events that changed the course of my life, is something I will always do and always regret. I brought this suffering on myself. I could have lived a good life, with a husband, and kids. Sadly I chose to end that happiness, and go back to the life of hell I had before. A life of pain, misery, regret, and destrusction. A life that condemened me to my fate. To a father, that doesn't care about his daughter, and just uses her for himself. That is what I went back to. A place where to belong again, I had to prove my loyalty, and damnit I did. I took the mission without a word. I was captured and never broke and offered any information on either of the countries that I loved. Betrayal was never but a thought in my mind. And that was to end the pain of enduring months of torture. Months of being raped by all the men in the camp. I wanted to die, believe me I did, but in order for death to happen I would have had to betray those that I love dearly. Death was nothing but a desire, because there all innocent life was taken brutally away. I never considered myself innocent, I chose to kill early in my life. I have to much blood on my hand to be an innocent person. The only innocent being there was, the life that was growing in my stomache. Life, good life, that was created by evil. Good life that was killed by evil so brutally that no other good life can ever again form inside of me.
I could have been a good Mother, maybe this is karma working against me. Maybe I deserve no children because of all the children I have killed in the past. No reasons can ever explain why I can never have the joy that other women have. Invisible forces signed my fate long before I was aware of it. Either way children are precious gifts of god, never take them forgranted because you never know, you just might never get to experience the wonders of loving them as your own.
Shoud I continue and add Gibbs in here or should I leave it like this? Please review, let me know what you think! :)