Intro: Post IWTB. That vacation to escape the darkness, and what happened next.
Theme: MSR, nothing explicit, hopefully true to character.
Chapter One: Setting the scene. Minimal dialogue, but that's all to come. Please read and review - I hope you like my indulgent imaginings. Al. x
Catch Her If You Can...
It'd been a rough few weeks. She wasn't used to fighting with Mulder – they'd had their disagreements like any couple but for the best part of the past few years, without the pressure of the X-Files weighing heavy upon them, they'd enjoyed a happy relationship. Albeit a slightly unconventional one.
Mulder led a solitary existence writing his book. It was intended a psychoanalytical piece documenting the effects of major trauma on those affected by the government's major cock-ups of the past twenty years; instead it had turned into more of a personal memoir, and was closer to a self-psychoanalysis than that of other people he'd turned up in his investigations over the years. Either way, he enjoyed his work and it kept him focused and structured at home while Scully progressed her medical career at a local Catholic hospital.
They were happy enough, but their life together didn't come without it's emotional burdens. They rarely talked about the son they lost out on a beautiful life with, but they acknowledged each other's pain on a daily basis. Scully thought about her child every morning as soon as she woke up. She never "got over it" as such, but she'd learned to cope with the devastation and constant aching in her gut for the son they could have shared so much happiness and love with.
They both had so much love inside them, and Mulder couldn't help thinking how much that little boy was missing out on. Scully would have been the most wonderful mother, and he would have been a great Dad; fun, supportive, encouraging and nurturing. He'd always be there for his son to help him achieve his full potential, be that in academia, baseball or even finding his way in the world as a person. He also thought about William every day. The problem was that he had an expanse of time on his hands for his mind to wander.
Going back to work as a doctor was the best thing Scully could have done. Not only was it keeping her busy and occupying her thoughts, but it ignited a spark in her that had never fully been extinguished during all that time as an FBI agent in DC. She always had a passion and a flare for medicine, and going back to her roots almost brought out the young and fun loving side of her personality again. She thrived off her work and dearly cared for every patient she treated. Her work was fulfilling, and Mulder was glad to have a content partner come home to him every night…or morning.
Despite the burdensome times there had been plenty of laughter throughout their time together, both as friends and lovers. Perhaps that was what made their relationship so unfaltering, the fact that it had its deep-set roots in a mutually respectful friendship. Though he knew from the moment he saw her that she had to be in his life for a long, long time.
He often thought back to that first moment she walked into his office. He was having another annoying day in the basement - getting nowhere, feeling entirely unsupported by his senior team. They laughed at his projects and thought it farcical that he ever called what he did "work", but he longed to be busy, brimming with work to investigate and analyse. And when Dana Scully first introduced herself that morning, he longed for her company every single day after that moment. He sensed she was sent to restrict his work and shut the X-Files down, but she was a beautiful person to have around him and he was therefore determined to give her the biggest run for her money that he could muster. Little did he know it'd take her nine years to drag him away from his filing cabinet.
It hadn't taken them long to forge a great friendship. Laughter in the pouring rain on their first case together, followed by sweet glances and an exciting unspoken attraction that kept them completely engaged with one another for all those years after. It was only when Mulder first considered a life without Scully in it, when she was suffering with cancer, that he began to truly understand his feelings for her. He was heartbroken, shattered from the inside out at the prospect of losing her. Teamed with the unbearable guilt for having lured her into his world of danger and conspiracy, he felt a desperate pain inside his chest for the woman who lay in a hospital bed, getting weaker with each passing day.
He understood it then. He loved her. Perhaps more than any woman before her. He couldn't bear to live without her, so much so that it was too upsetting to even think about. He did all his crying alone, or at her bedside while she slept. It ate away at him and he writhed around in his bed at night with the intense emotional guilt and fear of life without the woman he had fallen so deeply for.
That first night they'd spent together was almost seven years in the making. To say it was passionate and never-ending would be an understatement. It was unlike any experience he'd ever had before. They held onto each other so tightly that she left scratches on his back and shoulders. If either of them woke up that morning wondering if any of it was real, the state of their bodies were all the proof they needed, bruised with the reality of it all. Yet it was perfect. And as strange and unbelievable as it might seem, there wasn't any awkwardness between them – it was a natural moment in time between them. It still gave her butterflies when she thought back to that night.
Their recent disagreement about his return to the FBI and the X-Files was a serious one; it didn't involve jovial underhand jibes about each other's unconventional existence. Were they really verging on breaking up? Surely it would take more than this? And what they had was so precious that it was worth fighting for. But she'd made it clear that this was no joke and she seriously wanted their life to be free of darkness. It couldn't be that way if he went back to chasing bad guys. She'd done one of the most difficult things any partner can do…she presented him with an ultimatum and she knew it wasn't likely to end well. Cue self-defence mechanism and engage brick walls.
He already knew what he was going to say when she came downstairs that morning. He'd slept in their spare bedroom, sensing Scully needed some space to think and to consider the discussion they'd had at the hospital. They both needed time to do that. He needed time to think about what he wanted more in his life. When he heard the front door click and her booted footsteps across the decking on their porch, he darted out to speak to her without wasting any more precious seconds they had.
He'd resided himself to the fact that he'd chosen Scully over a life of chasing alien conspiracies. She made him happy, comforted him and gently kissed him goodbye every morning when she brought him his refill of coffee to his office…no X-File ever made him feel that complete. No X-File brought him coffee.
There's a lot to be said about true love.
"And then let's get out of here", he laced her hair through his fingers.
"As far away from the darkness as we can get?" she asked, an air of sadness and desperate hope in her voice.
As soon as she'd driven away he went back to his computer and booked their vacation. The more remote, the better.
He just hoped the in-flight meal was decent, or heads would roll…