— The story and any possible original characters are mine. NCIS, its own characters and canon aren't. —
How much do you think Tony would actually enjoy being the Director (I think he would be awesome as the Director)? I don't see him being the kind of Director who just sits in his little office like a good boy, while his agents are working outside, where all the danger and action is... And I've always thought that out of all members in team Gibbs, Tony is the only one with potential to be one.
Leo
Gibbs stared quietly at the stairs that went to the Director's office. His agents knew better than to bother him while he was having one of his 'moods'. None of them were brave or stupid enough to question his behavior, which seemed to get worse by the day. At least this time they could guess the reason behind it; the death of Director Shepard. While their boss didn't show it—other than through his temper and worse than usual demands—it was clear that he took it really hard.
It was strange however how they could see that, but not all the other times during the last few years when Gibbs was feeling upset over the loss of one Very Special Agent. Not even when he so obviously got either pissed off or sad whenever someone or something reminded him of Tony DiNozzo; the man who could take an ordinary and boring day at the office and turn it into something else, something fun even, while at the same time making the time fly by so fast that they hardly ever noticed how boring the paperwork truly was. And somehow with him gone, the harsh reality of their work and the cases they worked with had become much more obvious.
It was a week after Tony left that his loss hit the team hard for the first time, when the first brutal case was given to them.
But of course all that was then and not now, when they didn't even know where the man had disappeared to. Those who knew, they kept the secret so tightly sealed that none of Gibbs' threats and evil looks or even the Elf Lord's computer skills helped. It had been difficult for any of them to accept that being such supposedly skillful agents as they were, they couldn't find their lost SFA.
It had been very sudden and out of nowhere; one day Tony was there and the next day their Director informed them that he took some offered promotion and had asked that the information would not be shared with anyone. As much as they had tried to dig around—against the direct orders to not do so—it seemed like someone had covered up all the tracks for him. Someone who had bested the greatest team of the NCIS. They kept trying, until finally McGee received a message on his computer screen from Tony himself to back off and leave him alone, with some strong choice of words that weren't exactly SFW, as someone walking by had jokingly pointed out. That didn't stop them, because Gibbs was his usual stubborn old bastard, but it was the last sign of the man.
While the others did finally give up, Gibbs never did. It confused them and some of them couldn't help but notice similarities between the case of Ari and how the Agent was treating this one. Gibbs had found his new whale, which unfortunately also meant that Captain Ahab was back, worse than before, and it terrified some. Seeing how much time had passed without any sign of DiNozzo, this was far more challenging than trying to get to Ari who had been a child's play compared to this. Although the price for that one had been much heavier to pay; the life of Kate. Hopefully it would never happen again. Hopefully it hadn't.
No matter how much Gibbs had growled and threatened, Shepard did not reveal anything; not the location and not the new position, but Gibbs was pretty sure the young man had been offered his own team. As many holes as there still had been in his memory back then, he had known without a doubt that it was a long overdue promotion. It didn't matter however since he was a possessive bastard and he refused to let go of the matter, to the very day when Jenny died; her illness, which they had known nothing about, finally claimed her.
It was now few weeks since the funeral and they knew today was the day their new Director would arrive. While Gibbs didn't care and was much more interested staring at the wall, the others were curious after hearing many rumors about this man. They didn't know much, but apparently he was still quite young, charming and some kind of a living legend. For what reason, they didn't know and probably never would. The words 'need to know ' had been mentioned more often than not. Basically it all guaranteed that both men and women were intrigued, and from the way people in the bullpen kept glancing toward the elevator and the excitement that was in the room, you would think that some big celebrity was coming instead of their new Director.
James Palmer stood farther away, observing the scene quietly. He was becoming really good at observing and noticing things others wouldn't. He was one of the few who actually knew this new Director and he was there only to see how the others would react once they saw him. He was both nervous and worried at the same time. Maybe a little excited too.
He'd had the front seat when it came to witnessing the fall of once the best team of the NCIS to one of the best. With DiNozzo gone, their solve rate had dropped, enough to realize how much work the former Detective had done and how much more work the others now had to do to keep their solve rate where it now was and even that was uncertain at best. Not to mention how much longer it took for them to solve their cases without one of Tony's strange, but always effective ways. Gibbs himself certainly was not making things easier as it seemed he was slowly starting to lose his interest and motivation to do this job.
Jimmy had seen how Abby had to force her cheerfulness and the way her eyes kept going toward one of the many pictures she had put on the walls in her lab, as if hoping she could hear Tony throwing in a movie quote or giving them his cheeky smile and when it didn't happen, she nearly started crying. During the first month she did just that. There were new pictures added at least few times a week. He could imagine how she was on constant lookout for new ones; maybe hunt was more like it. He'd even seen Tony photoshopped in pictures. If Agent Gibbs was Ahab, he had no idea who Abby was, but he was pretty sure Tony would know.
He had also noticed how sad Ducky was that his young friend hadn't said goodbye even to him and the regret of how little support he himself had offered to Tony during Gibbs' absence, having focused more on his own anger toward his old friend and never realizing what it all did to his younger friend. Let alone all the inhuman hours Tony spent at work, even if he hadn't know about the undercover missions, which Jimmy had found out by accident.
McGee would every once in a while glance toward the desk—now occupied by the new SFA—with deep guilt and perhaps some regret in his eyes. Even with all the sorry he may have felt, Jimmy was not going to forgive him and the others for their actions that could have very well killed their teammate, his friend. If not in the field then he would've certainly ended up in a hospital, simply because of the exhaustion and malnutrition, when by the end there literally wasn't time for neither sleep nor food.
However, the one who this all affected the most was Gibbs. The old man missed his young friend so much he was physically hurting. You could actually see the pain in his eyes. Clear as day. Jimmy marveled how the man's own agents didn't catch on that. He wasn't sure if even Abby truly realized it. She was once again seeing only her own pain and misery. While he did feel pity toward the former Marine, to Jimmy his actions were the worst of them all; out of them all, Tony had trusted Gibbs the most. Undeservingly perhaps, but Jimmy wasn't one to judge such matters. Especially when considering his friend's state of mind during the years spent around the old bastard boss of his.
The ones who didn't seem affected by Tony's absence were the new Agent, who had never even met Tony, and Ziva David who didn't seem to mind that DiNozzo was gone. The day she found out he wasn't coming back, she had looked strangely pleased. Jimmy marveled how he was the only one who had seen it. But then, he'd learned the hard way how deceiving a pretty face could be.
Spending enough time around these people, and then becoming friends with Tony, had made him pretty good at noticing things and reading people. At least those close to him. Tony once joked that had his work not been so dangerous, he would have chosen Jimmy to watch his six over his partners without a second thought. Joke or not, the very thought of it still brought a smile on Jimmy's face, but never without that bitter aftertaste when he remembered why Tony didn't trust his life in the hands of his partners.
The elevator suddenly made the all too familiar sound and everyone's focus was at the doors. Well, everyone but Gibbs who was still doing his sulking and looking like he could stare a hole in the wall if he tried hard enough. Some agents and other people entered the bullpen and when the last person stepped outside, Jimmy saw from the corner of his eye the shocked looks of McGee and Ziva; especially McGee looked like he was seeing a ghost as he gasped.
"Tony?" McGee whispered the taboo name and finally Gibbs looked toward the elevator, his head turning so fast it hurt to even look at. Seeing Tony standing there and talking with someone as if he had never been gone, Gibbs stood up quickly and rushed toward him, only to be stopped by one of the two people who looked so much like the 'Men in black' that anyone who knew Tony could almost hear him quoting the movies to everyone.
Tony's eyes met Jimmy's and he nodded at him. They would talk later, so Jimmy was in no rush to try to get through the wall of people now. He knew that Tony knew his former team was there, but he was acting as if he hadn't even noticed them. His acting skills were as good as ever and he fit in perfectly with the SecNav and a few other important looking people surrounding him. Very Special indeed.
"Tony!" Gibbs finally called out with no small amount of desperation, gaining more than few odd looks at his out of character behavior, but Tony ignored him and walked to the stairs and only stopped once he was up, looking down at the bullpen. The SecNav stood next to him and cleared his throat, to silence the sudden buzz in the bullpen.
"As you are all aware, because of the passing of Director Shepard, there will be a new Director starting from today." The man glanced toward Tony who looked much healthier than all those years ago, but he was also much more serious. There was not a hint of amusement in his eyes. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking and feeling. "Many of you already know him or have heard of him, either by name or some rumors without a name. Some of you have even worked with him in the past. Let me introduce to you Anthony DiNozzo, your new Director."
The buzz from before was nothing compared to the one that started now. In the middle of it all stood team Gibbs, completely frozen to their spot by the revelation.
"Director? Our Tony?" McGee was shocked. He had a sudden flashback from when he had put down Tony and his skills as a leader. Yet here he himself was, not even a SFA this time. For some reason Gibbs never even gave it a thought and just kept waiting for Tony to return, until Director Shepard had forced them to fill up the empty spot in their team. To say it had hurt his pride would not do justice to how he had felt when he'd been so sure he would be made SFA again, for real this time.
"It must be a joke, I am sure," Ziva scoffed. She was still unwilling to admit, even to herself, that her former partner truly was good enough to be their SFA. To now find out that the man had returned as their Director... It was just too much to be true. She could not help but still think that DiNozzo didn't have what it takes to be a true leader. She couldn't wait to see how big mess he would put the NCIS in. There was no way this would end up well.
Their current SFA looked suitably impressed. "That's my predecessor, right? I guess I can finally see what all the big talk about him was."
Out of the hearing distance of those below, the SecNav shook his head as he observed the scene down in the bullpen and he muttered, "They all behave like they're still in high school."
Tony finally cracked a smile and chuckled. "Don't you know? We never leave high school. It follows us wherever we go to in life. We can act as grown up as we want, but deep down we're still those same kids who we were back then. Only the toys and games are much bigger."
The elevator door opened again and no one paid any attention to it, until they heard a high-pitched and desperate scream cutting through the noise. "Tony!" It was Abby.
Tony flinched. He couldn't deal with this now. It wasn't the right time or place. He turned to look at the people who were with him and he nodded. "We have much to discuss." Without a second glance, they left, leaving the tearful woman trying to run after them.
It was McGee who stopped Abby. "Not now. We'll... We'll do it later, when things have calmed down for a bit."
"But, Tim. It's Tony. And he's our new Director! Why is he the Director?"
"I don't know... But it means we have time to ask him about that later."
Gibbs was the first to finally realize something. He had seen the way Tony glanced toward Palmer those few times and each time there was a silent conversation going on. That's when he remembered all those secret phone calls the young man tried to hide from the rest of them and the way he alone didn't seem too upset or even surprised when Tony disappeared. At the time Gibbs had thought it was because he wasn't as close to DiNozzo as the rest of them were. Now however... It all made suddenly so much sense. "You knew!"
Jimmy flinched at the furious roar and he saw Agent Gibbs striding toward him with a purpose. He had never been at the receiving end of Gibbs' fury and he certainly did not wish to be there now. However, he hadn't been Tony's friend for so long to not learn something. He clenched his teeth together and pushed his hands in his pockets, to hide how much they were trembling. Straightening his back and forcing his eyes to never look away when he faced Gibbs, he was looking much braver and stronger than he really felt. "Agent Gibbs."
"You knew... This whole time you knew!" Gibbs hissed, ignoring all the attention they were receiving.
"I'm afraid I don't know what you are talking about so you need to elaborate a bit more."
For a moment it looked like Gibbs was going to hit him, but much to Jimmy's relief the old man actually took a few calming breaths and glared. "Tony. You knew where he was this whole time and you knew he was coming back today."
Jimmy managed to somehow keep his face impassive as he shrugged. "Sure. I knew. During your Mexico hiatus he and I became really close and good friends. I was the only one who truly cared about his wellbeing and noticed when he couldn't take it anymore. You could say I was his rock during those months and after it. I was there to catch him when he finally fell. So on and so forth. So yeah, of course he would keep in touch with the only person who had been there for him."
Gibbs frowned. "What are you talking about?"
"It's something you must figure out yourself, Agent Gibbs. Ask your agents. Ask Abby and Ducky. Think back how you behaved when you left and then returned. Then add to that the fact that the Director used him up by making him work twenty-four seven. Literally. Ask other agents." Jimmy turned around and almost ran in the elevator. Once the doors closed and he was safely away from Gibbs, he slowly slid down on the floor. He had never been so scared in his life! And somehow he still survived it all. Alive.
Meanwhile, Gibbs ordered his SFA to continue working on their current case. He had a dangerous glint in his eyes as he first time in years finally, truly, looked at his other two agents. "You two. With me. You too, Abby."
It was several weeks later when things finally calmed down enough and returned to somewhat normal routine. Only team Gibbs seemed really off their game lately. Gibbs barely even looked at his agents and he made his SFA order the other two around for him since he wasn't even talking to them. While McGee looked rightfully chastised, Ziva looked angry and even offended. Everyone in the bullpen knew they—including Abby and later Ducky—had talked about something in private, but it was only Ziva and McGee who got this ice-cold treatment. You could almost feel the temperature drop really low as soon as team Gibbs entered the bullpen.
Tony stood in his new office and tried to focus on the files in front of him. Paperwork. He hated paperwork. He hated being the Director and it had never been his goal to become one. Okay, he didn't hate it. What he hated was being stuck in some office, when he could do so much more by working outside in the field. It was so much more fun too. And he hated the politics. Once again he cursed the people who put him in this position he didn't ask for.
His secretary called him then, offering a momentary distraction, and he listened with a frown as she was both talking to him and yelling at someone that 'he' couldn't go in there. 'In there' would be his office. Tony sighed wearily. There was no running from this now that this chair was his. "It's fine. He can come in... No, it's okay. I know him."
The moment the door was unlocked, Gibbs stormed inside, nearly taking the door with him. "The door was locked."
Tony raised his brows. "Of course it was. Close the door, unless you want the entire building to hear us if you decide to start yelling."
Gibbs blinked for a moment before with surprising calmness he obeyed.
"Sit down, Agent," Tony spoke with authority that shocked Gibbs, but he actually obeyed again and as if he were in a trance, his eyes never leaving his former SFA. He had a flashback from that last day he saw him. Tony looked so much healthier now...
"You disappeared," Gibbs finally said. With few years without Tony around and pretty much every single day of thinking about him, he could hardly believe this was real. That he truly was back and sitting right there. Director DiNozzo... Somehow it was a fitting title for the younger man. At the same time he felt sorry for him, knowing how much Tony had always hated it when he was forced to work behind the desk and away from the field. This had to be torture.
"Jenny offered me a promotion and since nothing was holding me back, I took it."
Gibbs flinched and wondered since when Tony had started calling her Jenny and with a tone that spoke of familiarity. "Tony, I'm... I'm really..." He was struggling with the words.
"I really don't care, Gibbs. I would have loved to hear your apology or explanation, or even both, years ago... Now, I simply don't care anymore. It's not because I'm mad or hurt as I was back then. I just..."
Gibbs finished the sentence softly, "You no longer care... Where... Where did she send you?"
Tony shrugged almost bashfully. "Rota."
"Spain?" Gibbs' eyes widened. That had not been one of the places they had looked from and now he wondered why not. They should have turned the whole world upside down. Why hadn't he?
"Sure. Plenty of sun and pretty girls. It did me really good to spend some time in there. Especially to my lungs. I had a really good team. The best. They respected me and watched my six no matter what the situation was."
Gibbs flinched again. It was a hit after another hit. He actually wished DiNozzo would punch him for real, instead of doing this. "What I did was wrong, Tony, but you need to understand that I'd never..."
"Gibbs. It's fine. I do understand. I just don't understand the way you returned. But I didn't leave because of you. It was because other than Jimmy, I really had no one else here. No respect and no one watching my six. Then there were all the undercover operations Jenny kept using me for. I was completely burned out and was nearly killed after the last one, when I got too emotionally involved. The worst part is that I'm sure she knew it. I guess she wanted to get me out of the picture before anyone found out what she'd been doing and at the same time silence me."
"She did what?!"
Tony kept talking as if Gibbs hadn't just stood up and yelled in fury, "And when McGee and Ziva didn't do their share of the work, I was doing the work of the boss, my undercover operations and their jobs, whenever they decided what I made them do wasn't good enough for their superior skills or they knew better, since of course they are so much better than me who is just a cop. And I was watching my own six. So I'm sure you can understand that my mental state wasn't at the best place by the time you returned in your own special way. It was the talk of the year and some, reaching finally even Rota. I'm just glad that no one in there knew they were talking about me and my old team."
"If I had known..."
"You couldn't have done anything, if you would've even cared. You hardly even remembered me and you were all the way in Mexico. There was nothing you could have done. As for when you came back and added your share into that mess, by then it was already too late anyway."
Gibbs looked pained and he sat down slowly. He had thought that what he found out from the others was bad... It was way worse. What else didn't he know? Tony wasn't getting into any details and yet it was already this bad.
"But enough of me and my past life. It's good that you came here. There was one thing I was ordered to do before becoming a Director... Ziva David. There are many rather..." Tony pursed his lips as he chose his words carefully, to not give away too many details while the whole issue was still ongoing, although the main things were by now uncovered. "...unfavorable things that have come out about her and her true nature of being here and also the reason why she killed her own brother."
Gibbs narrowed his eyes and glared at him, wondering how he knew it. "She did it for my sake."
Tony chuckled dryly. "Sure thing. You can keep believing that if you wish. What you do need to know is that while you are here, talking to me, she's been escorted out of the building. She'll be sent back to Israel and forbidden to return. Basically she'll be dead to this agency. I guess that by ignoring her existence, the big bosses can pretend they haven't allowed such a major security risk roam freely for such a long time. You know how it goes."
"What!?" Gibbs stood up again. He threw a furious look at Tony before storming out, the door slamming close behind him.
Rubbing his temples, Tony sighed. "That went well." At least better than he thought it would. Being a Director would surely give him several headaches. How he was going to survive them without taking any pain medication, he wouldn't know.
While it had not been his idea to investigate Ziva, but when the investigation against Jenny had started, many other issues started coming out as well, including the case of Ziva David who was still taking orders from her father. She was a major security risk and she was lucky that she would be only sent back home. Most likely it had something to do with who her father was... Had she been from some unknown family, without all the right connections, she wouldn't have made it anywhere near the NCIS in the first place. Then Jenny had died, literally a week before she would've been taken in for some questioning and possible arrest. So in a way they both avoided the big hammer of justice in this lifetime.
Tapping his fingers against the desk, Tony called Jimmy, asking him to join him for the lunch in his office. He both needed to see a friendly face and someone who was not trying to seek his favor through vain flattery. It was funny how so many people suddenly remembered what a wonderful person he had been when they had met in the past, while blatantly ignoring all the negative aspects of said meetings. He couldn't wait for Senior to find out his new status update...
It was a week since Ziva's 'removal' and Gibbs had avoided seeing Tony. Not that the younger man was even seeking his company anyway. Gibbs was between feeling angry at Tony and furious at Ziva. He didn't know all the details, but what he had found out was that Ziva had basically been a spy for her father. All her supposed loyalty and even the killing of her own brother, none of it was for Gibbs, but it had always been for Eli David.
Gibbs felt insulted, how like an old fool he'd been fooled by the woman he'd treated almost like his own daughter. When would he learn to stop trying to see Kelly in the young women in his life? It was almost as bad as when he saw a woman with red hair, his first thought was Shannon. Meanwhile, he had pushed aside the one person he used to treat like a son, way before Ziva or even Kate ever showed up. The man who had proved his loyalty over and over again.
"Boss. I think I found something." McGee sounded relieved and Gibbs glanced toward him. It was first time he even looked at the younger man, after finding out his part in making Tony's life hell while he had been in Mexico. Normally he would have brought his case straight to the Director, but now that DiNozzo of all people was their Director, it made things so much more complicated. "Few weeks before his death, our victim bought a small cabin with cash. It doesn't look like anyone knew about it."
Gibbs nodded and started picking up his things before walking toward the elevator. That was his way of letting them know in these days when it was time to 'gear up'. His team hurried after him and McGee was glad he wrote down the address before telling his boss about it.
Upstairs, Tony observed them with feelings of longing and envy. He wasn't sure what he missed most; working in the field or working with Gibbs. Once again he cursed the people who put him in this position. He was turning around when he heard the familiar footsteps. Clenching his teeth in order to not give in, he only had time to walk away few long steps.
"Tony! Please wait!" Abby cried out breathlessly. She didn't know where Tony lived and busy as he was, the only times she even had a chance of catching him were when he went to or came out of his office. So she had set up her very own 'Tony alert' system in her lab. Whenever the cameras caught a sight of him in certain places, she would know. Sadly, usually Tony was gone by the time she made it in the bullpen. This time she had taken the stairs instead of the elevator. "I just want to talk!"
Tony closed his eyes and he stopped. His resolution was gone the moment he opened his mouth. "My office."
Abby who was already half way on the stairs, gladly followed him in the office. Once they were away from the prying eyes and ears, she hugged him, crying. It had been far too long since she got to do this, to hug Tony who was like a brother to her. It was true what they say, that you didn't realize what you had until it was gone, and boy did she realize it loud and clear. At first she had been angry, thinking how dare he abandon them, just like Gibbs had done. Only this time they had no idea where he might even be. Was he in danger or was he safe? Was he dead or alive? That's when the fear and worry came. When Tony's last message came to McGee, she had felt like a piece of her was gone forever. Now, here he finally was. Director Anthony DiNozzo. No, that wasn't correct. Very Special Director Anthony DiNozzo. He could be the best Director ever. She was sure of it.
"I can't believe you are finally here... I'm so sorry, Tony. I swear I didn't realize... I didn't know. I was so full of my own grief and anger that I didn't see what you were going through. I'm so sorry..."
Tony kept clenching and unclenching his fists before he finally gave in and carefully hugged her back. They were standing in the middle of his office and it was where for the first time since leaving them, Tony knew he could honestly say those words. "I forgive you." He sighed then. "I've heard about that little DiNozzo shrine you set up in your lab... You didn't have to do that. You shouldn't have. You were right. I'm not Gibbs."
"Don't say that!" Abby punched his arm, before wrapping her arms around him again. "You're not Gibbs and that's good. There's only one Gibbs and there's only one you. When Gibbs was gone, I was lost. When you were gone... I don't know, Tony. I could swear that it was even worse. Everything was so much worse, because this time I realized that you left because of us. We chased you away. I chased you away."
"Abby... It's not that simple."
"Don't Abby me. Just... Don't ever do this to us again." When Tony didn't promise anything, Abby hugged him tighter. She was terrified by what the silence meant. Was it agreement or a sign that he might disappear like that again? "Tony... Please talk to Ducky. He's been so sad. He's been beating up himself ever since that day. You know he's not getting any younger."
"I'll talk to him. He'll be next on my list."
Abby sniffed. "I missed you... And with you gone, it was like Gibbs was gone too. I lost you both. I can't do it again."
Tony sighed heavily and once again cursed the people who put him in this position. He glanced at the coffee maker and the cupcakes waiting for him. "I know it's not the same as Caf-Pow, but... I've got good Italian coffee and some cupcakes that are the best in the whole city. I swear."
Abby finally pulled away from the hug with a warm look in her eyes as she smiled. "I would love to."
Facing Ducky was surprisingly hard thing to do. It wasn't like the good old doctor had done anything wrong on purpose. He'd just been far too deep in his own feelings of hurt to notice how much in trouble Tony had been, both personally and healthwise, without even getting into the mess he was in because of Jenny. However, it was now over a month since Tony returned and he had promised Abby, so he couldn't just push it any further away... He chose the moment when team Gibbs was once again gone, working on some case.
Walking in the autopsy, Tony nodded his hello to Jimmy who realized why he was down there, which was why he left the room quietly, with a smile on his face as he hoped that perhaps after this doctor Mallard would be happier and back to his normal self.
"Now, could you please hand me the..." The words died on Ducky's lips when he saw the man standing in the room.
"Ducky."
"Anthony..." Ducky dropped the scalpel he was holding and Tony rushed to catch him when the old man's knees buckled. It had nothing to do with him being weak or ill or anything, but everything to do with all the emotions and suddenly seeing his dear friend again, finally coming to see him; something Ducky for a long time thought would never happen. "I am fine..." Ducky reassured and held the helping arm and sat down on the chair where Tony took him to.
"Aren't those my words?" Tony was amused and Ducky looked at him with bright eyes.
"My dear boy..."
"I'm sorry, Ducky. I didn't mean to upset you, but I just couldn't look back once I left. I guess I was being a coward."
"No. Not at all, Anthony. You had every right to go and I regret to say this, but... Had you not left, we may have never known what we do now. How much you mean to us and how much we wronged you."
"Ducky..."
"Will you forgive me? I understand if you say no." Ducky looked at him with sadness and Tony couldn't help it. He hugged the old man. He had really missed Ducky and all those times when he really had needed Ducky to look over his injuries. To bully him into taking care of himself and to distract his mind with one of the stories.
"There is nothing to forgive, but if it makes you feel better then yes, I forgive you. I've forgiven a long ago. I just couldn't face what I left behind so I never even called. I know now it was wrong. I'm sorry..."
Ducky returned the hug tight enough to make Abby proud. "You have no reason to be sorry, my dear boy."
By the time Jimmy returned, the two men were already laughing together at some story Ducky had remembered that their situation reminded him of. Jimmy smiled happily. It seemed like all was starting to be good again. He had missed this light-hearted atmosphere in a place where no one should have any reasons to smile. That atmosphere used to be what made this place so special to him.
Picking up the scalpel, which he had left behind, Jimmy started working on the body again.
"Do not—!" Ducky tried to warn him.
Too late. Jimmy touched something that looked oddly distended and like the smallest touch could make it explode on your face. He didn't even want to know what he ended up covered with... Naturally Ducky explained it in great details. By then Tony left the room with tears in his eyes, laughing at the mortified look on his friend's face. For a moment it felt like those years between now and then didn't exist.
The hardest part was yet to come. McGee. With him Tony had no idea what to even say. As for Gibbs... His former boss had already shown whose side he was on. It hurt more than Tony thought it would. Especially after he had sworn to not let anything the man did or said move him and his feelings ever again.
Tony slammed his fist against his forehead in frustration. Even with Ziva he had already talked things through. Or rather, he talked and she hissed her usual 'I can kill you with a paperclip ' threats. She had chosen the moment when he had been alone in the restroom. She was good at that, choosing when to show her true colors, when no one else saw.
Except she hadn't realized that this time he had been given, or rather ordered, couple of his very own men in black to follow him around. All because of his bad habit of looking for trouble and the latest threat against his life. Now he couldn't even have his peace while in a restroom. Once again Tony had found himself cursing the people forcing him into his current position. Although, those men in black might have very well saved his life this time and they reported everything straight to SecNav who moved the original plan forward faster and that meant Ziva was off the picture sooner than planned. They couldn't exactly lose yet another Director so soon after the last one. If for no other reason, then to save their face.
Chewing a chewing gum with a thoughtful look on his face, Tony observed the bullpen from upstairs. It had become his newfound habit whenever he had nothing else to do and he got bored. He really hated this. He needed to get out more and he needed some privacy while doing so.
It was now a few days after his talk with Ducky and he was gathering courage to talk to McGee. Tony listened with a deep longing when Gibbs barked his 'gear up ' order to his agents. He was finally talking to McGee again, so that was good. They were now one man down, which had to be fixed soon. It was sad really. The former team Gibbs was basically all gone. Tony could still remember the good old days when he and Gibbs were just that two man team. Things were perfect back then and no unnecessary drama. They were like that perfectly built and oiled machine that ran perfectly, until you started adding unnecessary gadgets to it that were not needed and only made things so much more complicated.
Tony listened closely where they were going and he thought for a moment. One more day holed up in that office and he would go raving mad, but first, he had to get rid of his bodyguards. Thinking about his options for a moment, he felt his trademark smile take over his face. Oh yes. That could work. They would never even notice he was gone...
An hour later McGee was tagging the evidence at the crime scene when he heard the sound of a motorcycle. Seeing that Gibbs and their SFA were busy interviewing their eyewitness farther away, he figured it was up to him to do this. "Hey! This is a crime scene!" He ran toward the man who was now getting off his bike.
"Really, probie? I had no idea." Tony rolled his eyes and took off the helmet. McGee paled and then flushed red and then he paled again.
"Tony? W-what are you doing here?"
Tony shrugged. "I needed some fresh air."
McGee swallowed nervously and then glanced at the bike, then at Tony and then he tried to see where his bodyguards were. "At the crime scene? Where..?"
"I escaped." Tony smirked and looked very proud of himself. To his surprise McGee was pissed off.
"Are you insane!?"
That finally got Gibbs' attention and seeing who was standing there like it was no one's business, made him frown and he ordered his Agent to take over the interview while he himself was already striding toward the other two before the last word had even left his mouth.
"Calm down, McWorry."
"You're not just another Agent anymore, but now you're a walking target. You can't just... You can't do this! Not to us and not to yourself!"
"Breathe, McGee. I'll be fine. The situation is not as serious as it may look like."
McGee indeed was not looking too hot. Tony noticed for the first time that he had somehow aged ten years; he gave off the vibe of a man who was much older than he should be. Working under someone like Gibbs could do that to you, especially when you no longer had certain Very Special SFA taking the worst for you.
"Tony... I'm sorry... You should fire me."
"Yeah. Yeah, I guess I should."
"Then do it! I know what happened to Ziva. Waiting for what's coming for me is driving me mad."
"You really don't see it?" Tony shook his head. He could hear Gibbs getting closer, although he had slowed down, seeing that the two of them were talking.
"See what, Tony? That you're enjoying this? You're finally getting your revenge and who could blame you." McGee sounded bitter.
"Tim... You should know me better than that. I have no pleasure seeing people I care about suffer."
McGee looked at Tony with startled and guilt filled look on his face. "People you care about?"
"Sure. You think it would have affected me as much as it did, had I not cared about you? As pathetic as it sounds, but you people were my family. I never had one and maybe that's why I allowed so many things happen that I normally wouldn't have. I didn't want to lose my family... But then I realized we never were one. It was my mistake to think we were."
"Tony..."
"It's fine now. While I was gone, I grew up for a bit."
"It's not fine. What I said to you before you... before you disappeared without a word. When I told you that you... You know. I felt so bad after it and then I found out you were promoted again. And now you're the Director. It's... It's too weird to be honest."
"It's fine."
"I have a faint memory of what your I'm fine means," McGee pointed out dryly and Tony chuckled.
"Let's just say I forgive you and you forgive me for leaving you to take on the wrath of Gibbs."
"Why?"
"Why I left you to deal with Gibbs yourself?"
"No... Why do you forgive?"
"I've had plenty of time to think and I decided to give you another chance. You never were a bad person, McGee. Just a little lost."
McGee shook his head. "You're an idiot... You know that right?"
"I'm an idiot who is your boss. The big boss." Tony grinned, looking amused and McGee finally cracked a small smile.
"How did that happen? I never thought I would see the day. Director DiNozzo..."
Tony made a face. "You and I both. It's not as fun as it may look, probie. Trust me. Even you would not enjoy this too long."
"Then why did you become one?"
"I was... Uh... I was tricked."
McGee stared, trying to figure out if it was a joke or not, but there was a dead serious look on Tony's face. "You were what? How does that even happen?"
"I'd rather not talk about it."
"But—"
"DiNozzo." Gibbs finally had enough of waiting and he stepped forward, looking grim.
"Bo— Gibbs." Tony found his voice turning icy without even trying.
"McGee. Go do the work I told you to do," Gibbs ordered.
McGee glanced between the two men nervously, but when both of them gave him 'the look', he almost ran away.
"What are you doing here, DiNozzo?"
"I didn't know I need to let you know. You're no longer my boss. In fact, it would seem that I'm now your boss. How strangely life works out sometimes. Doesn't it?"
Gibbs clenched his teeth. He didn't want to argue. He wanted to apologize. To explain. So why did he do this? "Well, as the Director you should not come out in the open like this. I may not know the reason for those bodyguards, but I know it must be for a perfectly good reason."
"I'm not a child who needs to be looked after, Gibbs."
"Then don't act like one."
If looks could kill, they would be both dead by now. Finally Tony chuckled humorlessly and he sat on the bike, putting the helmet back on his head. "You know what... I thought that maybe we could talk things over, to make working in the same building a little bit easier for us both and everyone around us... But if this is how you want things to be, then fine."
"Tony..." Gibbs cursed himself in his mind and held out his hand to touch Tony's shoulder, but the younger man shrugged it off.
"Don't. Get back to work. I have to return anyway, before the men in black realize I'm gone. Be a good Agent and don't scare your mini agents too much." Tony waved his hand and took off with the bike he had borrowed from the janitor.
Gibbs was frustrated. Why couldn't he just say it? Say what he really wanted the kid to know. Sure, Tony was no longer a kid, but to him he always was that same bright-eyed young Detective he had found in Baltimore all those years ago. How he wanted those days back... There were no words for it.
"Boss... It's still not too late." McGee had decided to be brave enough and returned just as Tony left.
"Didn't I just tell you to—?"
"We can take it from here. We're almost done anyway. Go back and we'll meet you there."
Gibbs glared, but inwardly he was secretly impressed by this sudden improvement. If only a few minutes alone with DiNozzo did this to the man, he should make sure to send McGee to Tony more often.
"Watch his six and make sure he watches yours." Gibbs nodded toward their SFA who was now looking at them with confusion. The poor guy was really feeling even more left out in these days and while Gibbs didn't like him, he knew they had to do something about that soon enough. If only he would care enough, because the truth was he still wished to get his former SFA back. Even if he now knew it was never going to happen.
"We will, boss. Just go. We'll return with Ducky once he's done with the other body."
Gibbs jogged to their car and less than a minute later he drove off, hoping to catch Tony in time. Maybe they could stop on the way to have some coffee.
He had been driving for fifteen minutes with his usual speed and when he still didn't see Tony anywhere, Gibbs was starting to get worried and his gut was churning. He almost missed it because of his speeding, but then he noticed Tony standing on the road next to his bike and he was holding his hands up while two men wearing masks were yelling at him something, clearly wanting him to get in their car where the third man was waiting. The helmet from Tony's head looked like it had been carelessly tossed on the ground. Gibbs was out of his car just when Tony did the foolish thing, jumping at the closest man holding the weapon at him. Several shots were fired and Gibbs felt his blood run cold.
"Tony!" Gibbs didn't bother with words and just shot the men right there, between eyes and in the heart. The third man was smart enough to escape with the car. Gibbs didn't even care as he dropped on his knees next to his fallen friend. After a quick search, he felt relief flood through him when he found the bulletproof vest under the clothes.
"You really thought I'm stupid enough to let them kill me so easily?" Tony muttered as he sat up slowly and gingerly.
Gibbs did something he hadn't done in such a long time; he head slapped the younger man and then he wrapped his arms around him tightly. "You ever do something like this again, I will kill you myself, Director. You hear me?"
Tony winced. While he was lucky to be wearing the vest, he would surely have some nice bruises later. "Thought you didn't care."
While he had joked, Gibbs heard the insecurity and he hugged tighter. "I'm sorry... For a moment I though it was too late. That I couldn't tell you how truly sorry I am for everything that happened and what I've done. The way I left you to deal with Ziva and McGee on your own. Left you to deal with Jenny and whatever she put you through... I betrayed your trust. I broke my own rules. And now I'm afraid I'll never get back what we had..."
Tony head slapped Gibbs gently and the older man finally pulled away with a frown. The younger man grinned. "You talk too much."
Gibbs snorted. "Had to get it all off my chest. When I thought my chance was gone and— What were you thinking!? Leaving your bodyguards!"
"Gibbs... Relax."
"Relax?!"
"Sure it may have been stupid, but you of all people should know I was not meant to sit in some office day after day. Not when the sun is shining and all the real excitement is outside those walls. If I were, I would've chosen a career my father always wanted me to choose."
Gibbs shook his head fondly. "Never do something like this again... You should have never become a Director if you can't handle the boredom."
"I was tricked into it. I refused the first offer and so... I was tricked."
"How does that even happen?" Gibbs frowned and Tony made a face.
"A bet. I lost it."
"You lost..? DiNozzo..."
"Don't ask. I was drunk. Really drunk. It was just me, my teammates, a few of the bosses and a piece of paper I don't remember signing. I was that wasted... It was worse than that week in Vegas with my frat brothers years ago. At least back then I woke up next to a beautiful brunette who had a big gorilla as a boyfriend, and not a piece of paper and balloons that said congrats ."
Since when did Tony go out drinking with the higher-ups? Gibbs had no doubt that he would surely love to find out what DiNozzo had been up to during all these years... Maybe it was the lack of sleep or all that had happened in the last weeks or just how ridiculous this entire situation was, but Gibbs started laughing.
"I'm glad to know you find it amusing." Tony rolled his eyes and then he looked at the two bodies on the road. "Man... Now there's no way I can just sneak back. We're going to have to call this in."
"You think?" Gibbs snorted and wrapped his arm around Tony's shoulders, unwilling to let go anytime soon. "I'll make the call. You just focus thinking how to talk yourself out of this one."
"Aww. Thanks," Tony muttered with sarcasm. He couldn't talk himself out of this one. Not today.
They couldn't and they didn't try to fix what was broken. They knew there was no way to do it, so they did the next best thing; they started anew. To seal the 'deal', they had booked a table in a restaurant next weekend after the close call with the bad guys.
The others were slowly getting used to the 'men in black' following Tony around as the threat wasn't gone yet. Gibbs had actually 'lightened up' enough to jokingly say to the men that they better get used to this being what they would do for the rest of their careers. After all DiNozzo had started collecting enemies way before even becoming an Agent. There would always be some new trouble to show up after the last one had been dealt with. It wasn't like Gibbs was any better in that aspect, but at least he wasn't the Director of the NCIS. It was the strangest thing, but he was actually starting to get used to the idea of his former SFA as his boss. At least he knew they worked together much better than he would've if the Director had been someone else. Not to say there would never be any tempers going hot anymore; life wasn't that easy.
Tony made a face and pointed his former boss with the steak knife. "Don't give them any ideas. As lovely as they and their other buddies are, I can take care of myself."
"So you say..." Gibbs chuckled. He gave the younger man a once-over, knowing perfectly well where each of those bruises under the clothes were. Most were from when he had fallen down with the bike, but one was from where he'd been shot. Gibbs had not wasted any time getting Ducky to check him up for any hidden injuries.
"Don't do that," Tony muttered, but there was a small smirk on his lips.
Gibbs chuckled again. It was like after each new day his general mood was only getting better. "Just glad you didn't die back there."
Tony stopped eating for a moment, seeing how dark the look on the older man's face became. "Hey, I wouldn't dare to die on your watch, right?"
"You better not."
"Besides... You're the one who works in the field where all the bad guys are."
The two of them had rather quickly forgotten everyone else in the room. Even those sitting around the table with them. Tony had even invited his 'successor', but the man had declined politely, not feeling comfortable enough to want to spend his own free time with people he worked with. He was one of those 'strictly professional' people. For that, Tony kind of envied him. It certainly had not been the way he had dealt with things in the past.
"Guys!" Abby had finally had enough of staying quiet. As much as she did enjoy seeing her favorite men smiling and looking all relaxed, enough was enough. "When will you invite us to your home? I bet it's something nice, right? I don't think they would allow you to live in some place where anyone can just march in."
Jimmy brightened. "Oh yes! It's amazing! You wouldn't believe if I told you. Even the piano has its own room. I think it's the only thing not completely new in the house. Well, other than his movies and such and... and... Uh..." Tony looked amused as his friend flushed red at the realization he had opened his mouth all excited, not even knowing if Tony wanted anyone to know. Then he paled.
"It's alright, Jimmy."
"I should have asked you first..."
"It's fine. Really. I would have been mad before, I'm sure, but sooner or later they would have found out anyway."
"You're living in some mansion now?" McGee asked, hint of envy in his tone, and Tony rolled his eyes.
"No. Not a mansion. Just a house."
Jimmy was the one to roll his eyes now. He would have other words to describe the place, but 'just a house' was not one of them.
Tony sighed, with a hint of smile on his lips. "Fine... I'll invite you guys next time we all have the time off."
Abby cheered. She sure couldn't wait and the men could already see ideas forming in her mind... Ideas they happily did not want to know anything about.
After some more attempts to get answers out of Tony about his 'just a house', especially since Jimmy now refused to say anything else, they finally focused on their now almost cold food, after Ducky strictly ordered them to let it go for now.
Tony looked at them with a hint of sadness in his eyes. There was no way he could let them too close to his heart ever again and it pained him. He just couldn't risk it again.
Gibbs frowned, seeing how quiet Tony had become and how he barely even touched his food. He looked at the younger man with question in his eyes, but Tony just smiled and shook his head. He really didn't want to talk about it and especially not here. Gibbs understood. He also realized they had still a long way to go before he would be the one Tony came to when he needed to talk to someone. It hurt, but this was where they now where. This was where he now stood. It hurt, but it was better than before. It really hurt, but there was no way Gibbs 'the second b for bastard' would miss out on the important things again.
Raising up his glass of bourbon, Gibbs spoke so quietly only Tony heard him, "Semper Fi." Never again. I'll watch your six from now on.
Tony gave a small nod, having understood perfectly the hidden message behind those words. "Semper Fi." I never stopped watching yours.