Title: Knight Watch
Author: TheOneAndOnlyAzriel
Disclaimer: Characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel are owned by Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Characters from the Discworld series of books are owned by Terry Pratchett. Characters from Charmed are owned by Aaron Spelling, E. Duke Vincent, and the Warner Brothers Television Network. Certainly not me…
Setting: Post Finale of Buffy by quite a few years. Not exactly sure when in Discworld this takes place, so consider that part kinda iffy. There is mention of things that happened in Thud but I'm thinking this is before Snuff.
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Oooh.. Lots of rudeness and swearing and bad jokes, some sex here and there eventually, along with who knows what else… so be warned. There.. I warned ya.
Feedback: Sure… thanks.
Chapter One
"Move it to the left… left… your other left!"
On a barren stretch of highway south of St. Louis, Missouri stood three figures dressed in blood red robes. Scattered around them stood numerous pillars made of cement, marble, wood and steel. Carved into each pillar were intricate runes in a language forgotten for millennia. Lighting up the area were two portable studio lights hooked up to a generator, the lights making everything look almost like daylight around them.
"Don't drop that thing! Do you know how much it cost to get marble that size and color?"
The man moving the marble pillar rolled his eyes and set it down gently on an x drawn on the ground.
"If it's so delicate and expensive… you move it."
Arranged around the figures was a circle of pillars with an intricate design of smaller pillars in the middle. As the last pillar was set in place, a soft orange glow began to crawl across the ground between each pillar.
"No need, you got it in the right place. Now all we need is the sacrifice to blood the pillars, then we can open the gateway and summon the Demons so they can do our will and make us rulers of the Earth."
The figure in charge, or so he thought, cackled madly while the others watched and rolled their eyes.
"He's doing it again. How long do you think it will be this time?"
The other figure shrugged and checked his watch.
"Last time he went on for five minutes before he swallowed that bug."
Smirking, they laughed quietly as they walked back to their car to wait. In the back of the car lay a blond girl, who looked to be about 18 or 19, tied up and gagged. Her eyes were wide open but glazed over.
"So… really, how much more do you think this will be. I have a date at 1:30 and still need to get the car cleaned out. That little bitch caught me in the jaw earlier and I think I bit my tongue or something; I spit blood out all over the backseat."
He looked inside and shrugged.
"I don't know. Shame we have to kill her… she's kinda hot. Not much meat on her bones, not like that waitress at the diner the other night, but not bad."
His partner nodded and smiled.
"Oh yeah, the redhead with the big breasts. She was flirting with you all night."
The first one spoke again and laughed.
"Who do you think my date is with and… oh, I think he's stopping. You grab her feet and I'll grab her under the arms. Let's get her out and in position."
He nodded and they both pulled her out of the car and carried her over to the pillars.
"… will all be mine and I will bathe in the blood of my enemies while my harem of supermodels awaits my pleasure!"
They looked at each other and rolled their eyes as their leader ended his rant.
"Now… bring the sac… oh, you already got her. Nice work guys. Put her over there and tie her to the steel pillar in the middle while I prepare the sacrificial blade."
The two men nodded and carried her over to the pillar. As they were tying her to the metal, they heard a voice echo through the night.
"Let her go and put her down right now…"
Turning their heads, they saw a man dressed in black with an eye patch standing off to the side. In his right hand was a sword while the left held a flashlight.
"I got her. You get him."
The second figure nodded and moved to attack while the first finished tying the girl to the pillar…
*Two hours earlier…*
"… and she's been missing for two days. You need to find her, Xander. I don't know what's going on, but Willow has been going nuts over the Coven saying something big was going on in your area."
Xander nodded as he looked out his window at the parking lot.
"I'll do what I can, Dawn. I've not noticed much here so far. For this place being such a big city, St. Louis is actually pretty boring. Hell, there's not even any vamps here to hunt. I've been bored off my ass."
He rolled his eye and moved back to the bed.
"Just find her. I've not seen Willow this freaked since that time Buffy got kidnapped after all of her doubles were hunted down and killed."
Xander nodded and started packing his clothes.
"I'm on it Dawn. I'll let you know when I find the girl. Do you have any idea where… whatever this is, is going down?"
There was quiet for a moment before Dawn spoke again.
"She says head south to Highway 185 and you should find something. She thinks you may have a couple of hours max on this one."
Xander nodded and sighed.
"I'm on it. Talk to you later Dawn."
Ending the call, Xander tossed his phone into the bag and headed outside to his car. He looked into the backseat and was glad to see his emergency weapon kit was still in the backseat. Nodding, he started his car and headed south.
"I hope I make it there in time."
An hour or so later, Xander came to a lone stretch of highway and saw what looked like lights in the distance.
"Now why would there be lights in the middle of nowhere at this time of night? Those things are way to bright to be street lights. I think I may have found the spot I'm looking for."
Xander drove closer then killed his engine and let his car coast to a stop… close enough to walk there quickly but far enough away so as to not let them know he was coming. When the car came to a stop, Xander grabbed his weapon kit and slung it over his shoulder before he grabbed his bag and took off running toward the lights. As he drew closer, he could hear the low drone of a generator… and then voices.
"Now… bring the sac… oh, you already got her. Nice work guys. Put her over there and tie her to the steel pillar in the middle while I prepare the sacrificial blade."
Xander peeked out from behind a tree as he saw three robed figures and a young teenage girl standing in what looked like someone's bad copy of Stonehenge. He pulled out a sword and headed toward them.
"Let her go and put her down right now…"
He watched as the robed men jumped in shock and turned toward him. One of them broke away and ran toward Xander while the other continued in tying the girl to what looked like a steel pillar. Xander let the man get closer then kicked out and caught him in the gut. As the air left the man's lungs, Xander spun his weapon and smacked it against the back of the man's head, knocking him out.
"One down, two to go."
The one in charge growled in anger and prepared to attack him with what looked like magic.
"Oh Mighty Foul Furry One, rend his bones from his body and feast upon his soul so that you may urk…"
Xander spun around and threw the sword as hard as he could at the wizard, the blade ending up between the man's eyes and then on through the back of his head.
"Two down… one to go."
Xander turned to the final man and stalked toward him slowly.
"Let her go and back away and I won't kill you."
The lone robed figure trembled in fear and pulled a knife up and against the girl's throat.
"Stop or I'll cut her head off!"
Xander kept walking, not noticing a faint red glow that was crawling away from the dead wizard's body. It moved from pillar to pillar, enveloping them and empowering them, overtaking the orange glow that already surrounded them. By the time Xander was a few feet from the man and the girl, the outer ring was glowing brightly with power.
"Back off! I mean it!"
Xander kept walking and pulled a gun out from behind his back. Aiming at the last man, he slowed to a stop.
"Cut her loose… now!"
Knowing all was done for, yet seeing the glowing pillars, the man quickly sliced through the girl's neck, blood spraying out in all directions. As the blood splashed upon the nearby pillars, a flash of light filled the night sky and a roaring wind filled the air.
"Too late asshole!"
Xander, knowing it was too late, shot the man in the head then moved to the girl's body. He could at least take her home for a burial. As he neared her corpse, he noticed the light and wind and looked up to see a swirling red vortex hovering overhead.
"What the fuck?!"
Quickly dropping his bag, he dug through it and pulled out his phone. Hitting the emergency button all the Scooby's had, he immediately got a connection.
"Scooby HQ Emergency Line."
Xander looked up as the wind picked up and started pulling him toward the vortex. Grabbing onto the pillar, he pulled the phone close.
"Xander here. Code One Emergency. I'm being sucked into a red swirling vortex. Contact Dawn and Willow, they know my location. I'm turning on my beacon and planting my phone here. Find me!"
Xander ended the call and ended entered the code needed to activate a special beacon within the phone. Looking around, he pulled off his belt and used it to tie the phone to the steel pillar, then reaching down, he turned on a beacon that was imbedded into a necklace around his neck. A loud click was heard and saw it started blinking steadily.
"Ok… let's see if I can get away on my own."
Turning around, Xander took a step away from the rushing wind and felt his feet lift off the ground. As the wind picked up, he felt the pressure on his fingers increase and increase until his fingers slipped and he went flying into the vortex. As he entered it, it sealed itself, leaving three dead bodies and an unconscious man lying as sacrifice in the middle of the circle…
*Elsewhere…*
Running. It was all he knew to do. It was all he could do. There was no escape from where he was. He'd searched for what felt like years for a way out… but everything just seemed to go on and on forever.
"I think I lost them… but I'm not sure. That's the third time this… week, month… year? I don't know. I just need to…"
Just there, there was a flash of light in the distance and he came to a stop in shock.
"What?"
Rincewind stared in awe at the light and ran quickly toward it, hoping he would get there before it vanished.
*Scooby HQ*
Melissa stared in shock at the phone for a minute as it went dead then slammed her hand down on the alarm button next to her. Within moments, everyone came running. As Dawn reached the security room, she looked at the shocked look on Melissa's face.
"What is it?"
Melissa looked up, her face very pale.
"Code One Emergency… Xander. He said you know where he is and that there is a swirling red vortex above him sucking him toward it. He set his phone beacon and then the line went dead."
A gasp filled the room as she continued.
"I think he got sucked in…"
Dawn swallowed and moved to the computer. Entering a code, she saw a flashing blue dot showing the location she figured he might be.
"Ok… there is his phone, now where is Xander?"
She entered another code and got one of the higher numbers.
"Code 1262?! What does that mean?"
Emily, one of the tech slayers pulled out a book and flipped through it quickly.
"1259... 1260... 1261... Ah, 1262... Oh shit!"
Dawn spun around and took the book from the girl and blinked at the words before her.
"Unknown demonic dimension. Probe sent never returned and detector exploded from highest known level on record of evil."
Dawn took a deep breath and felt a tear go down her cheek.
"Get Willow and Buffy here… now."
Slayers ran off as Dawn sat down and slowly began to cry…
*Dungeon Dimension*
Xander screamed as he materialized in… wherever he was… and dropped to the ground. Catching his breath, he lifted his eye to see that the ground all around him was dry, cracked and red. A harsh hot wind whipped around his body as he slowly got to his feet. As he looked around, he heard horrible screams of agony echoing on the wind and the smell of rotting flesh emanating from every direction… so strong in fact he quickly lost the contents of his stomach.
"Ok… I'm in Hell… or a hell."
Wiping his mouth clean, he looked around and heard growling in the distance followed by the demonic howls of hellhounds.
"I hate that sound…"
Looking for incoming enemies, Xander was pleased to see his emergency weapons kit had made the trip with him… but he had lost his gun. Opening the kit quickly, he pulled out a sword to replace the one he used earlier and a shoulder harness to wear it in… as well as a compact crossbow and quiver of bolts - thank you Willow for that ever so nifty infinite space spell. Pulling them on, he looked inside the bag and could see he had his spare gun and what looked like his sniper rifle.
"When did I put that in there?"
Shaking his head, he notched a bolt into the crossbow then looked around some more. As the sounds grew louder, he suddenly saw movement all around him and readied the sword as numerous hellhounds emerged from all around him.
"Here we go…"
As the two of the demonic creatures launched themselves at him, he heard someone yelling.
"Don't kill them…"
Xander fired a bolt into the head of one, then ducked and sliced out with his sword, cutting the other hellhound in half.
"No! Arrows don't kill them, it just pisses them off… and cutting them makes them double!"
Xander glanced to the side as a scraggly looking very thin man ran toward him. He was dressed in something that might have once looked like a wizard's robe and a tattered hat that read 'WIZZARD'. Said hat was haphazardly tied to his head with what looked like strips of cloth.
"What are you… oh."
Xander watched as the shot hellhound growled at him and the split hellhound healed itself and became two. Blinking in shock, he was grabbed by the wizard and pulled, amazingly, away from where he landed. Running with the other man, he looked back and saw the hellhounds following.
"Where are we going?"
Rincewind looked at the one-eyed man he was dragging and shrugged.
"Anywhere but here…"
*Scooby HQ*
Willow stared at the book in front of her and frowned once more.
"Thirty-seven…"
She moved a little closer and ran her finger along a passage, then frowned when it wasn't what she wanted.
"Thirty-eight…"
Willow flipped a few more paged and waved her hand across the room. A flash of purple light shot across and against the offending speaker, removing her lips.
"I warned you Faith. I'm busy… so fuck off before I turn you inside out!"
Willow looked up, black eyes glaring at the now silent Faith before looking back down at the book. The door opened and sounds of someone sitting down were heard.
"How far did you get before this happened?"
Faith picked up a piece of paper and wrote 'Thirty-eight' then wrote 'She's been at this for the last three days… with no sleep. I took over for Dawn when she turned her blue.'
Buffy nodded and smiled, remembering how very Smurfy her sister looked.
"How far did Dawn get?"
Faith's eyebrows scowled and she wrote 'Fifty'.
"Ah ha! I so rule all! Bow down and lick my toes bitches!"
Faith and Buffy looked at each other as Buffy mouthed 'lick my toes bitches?' Faith shrugged then looked at the now dancing Willow as Buffy cleared her throat.
"Um… Willow?"
Willow stopped and stared at them then snapped her fingers, returning Faith's mouth.
"I can't bring Xander back… yet… but I can do something just as good. I can release him out of the hell he's in and into the nearest universe."
Faith nodded.
"And that's good cause…?"
Willow rolled her eyes.
"Cause once he's there, I might be able to find him and get him back."
She looked back at the book and frowned.
"Thirty-nine…"
Willow growled and Faith snickered.
"Sorry… sorry. What's the problem?"
Willow sighed.
"This will only work if he still has his beacon and is hopefully near something with some sort of magical signature. Doesn't have to be much, could be a person or a temple or even just a small magical trinket. I just need a spark to hone in on."
Buffy smiled.
"This is great. When can you do it?"
Willow flipped a few pages then ran across the room to look at a star chart and groaned.
"Three more days."
Silence filled the room for a few moments before Faith nodded.
"No big. X can last three more days in Hell… he's already done at least three. He'd probably think it was a vacation compared to when the baby Slayers all sync up at once."
A shiver passed through them when they remembered that month. 256 Slayers, in just their complex alone… all getting their period… all at the same time.
"Yeah, she's right. Compared to that… Xander can handle anything."
*Dungeon Dimension*
"… along the ridge and right into the horde of barbarians… and then he started asking them questions. I mean, I liked the guy, but come on… I think he was a few sausages short of a bun there."
Xander nodded as Rincewind talked and talked… and talked. The guy never stopped talking.
"Course that was long before I got sucked in here. Back there, I had my luggage to keep me company. Well, it was his luggage first, but he gave it to me. Man I miss that thing."
Xander nodded. That was the third time Rincewind had spoken about his luggage as if it was something alive.
"You keep talking like your luggage was alive or something."
Rincewind smiled and nodded.
"It was. Made of sapient pearwood with hundreds of little legs underneath it. Most dangerous thing alive. When it was still here with me, that thing was the only thing I knew of that could kill those demons."
Xander perked up at this.
"Really? How?"
Rincewind grinned remembering.
"It ate them."
Xander blinked and swallowed.
"Ok then… um, where is it?"
Rincewind sighed and shook his head.
"Back home… somewhere. I lost it when I got summoned out of here once."
Xander looked at the man in shock.
"There's a way out?!"
Rincewind nodded.
"Yeah… well… sort of. You see, I got summoned by this kid once who was trying to summon up a Demon. It didn't go well and I ended back up here eventually."
Xander nodded.
"So there is an exit… you just need outside magic."
Rincewind nodded and jumped when they heard a beeping sound.
"What's that?"
Xander looked down at his chest and saw his beacon was glowing and blinking… faintly, but blinking just the same.
"Yes! Willow I love you."
He looked up and grabbed hold on Rincewind and held onto him tightly.
"Ack! Bugger off! What are you doing?!"
Xander held onto the smelly man tighter and waited.
"A witch friend of mine is trying to get me out of here… and I'm taking you with me."
Rincewind blinked in shock before a grin crossed his dirty face. Honestly happy for the first time in years.
"Oh… why didn't you say so…"
He clung to Xander tightly and buried his face into Xander's chest as the spell in his head chose that moment to flare into life…
*New York City - Lady Liberty's Torch*
"… be opened. Seek out Alexander Lavelle Harris… ease his path. Send him into the nearest plane from the hell he is trapped in…"
Wind whipped around them as Willow cast her spell.
"Transfer him to where I can find him!"
Light flared as the spell commenced and people all over New York turned to see the Statue of Liberty's torch suddenly flare bright purple.
"Did it work?"
Willow climbed to her feet… having been knocked down during the blast of energy… and shrugged as she wiped away a trail of blood from under her nose.
"Call Melissa and ask what code it is now."
Dawn nodded and pulled out her phone.
"Um… you fried my phone."
Buffy snickered as Willow sighed.
"Let's clean this up and get out of here before someone comes to check this out. We can use a payphone once we're out of here."
They nodded and quickly set about cleaning up while sirens began to sound out on the water…
*Ankh Morpork*
Wind blew a ragged piece of cloth down a cobblestone road as a drunk sang horribly off-key in the distance. As the sound of the singing got louder and closer, the wind began to pick up.
"… and kick him in da fork, kick him in da fork…"
A tiny dot of light formed in the middle of the air catching the drunk's attention. He stopped and stared, a small grin crossing his face. Glowing lights always meant Wizards and Wizards always left behind stuff you could sell.
"Come on… come to Old Pete… I's needs me some time with the seamstresses somefin bad."
Old Pete stood there and watched as the light grew brighter… and bigger… then suddenly dropped two people out of thin air. He looked about to see if anything else was coming, then frowned when the light vanished.
"Hmm... oh well."
Walking over to the two men, he offered them a filthy hand up from where they lay gasping on the ground.
"Oi… you two ok there?"
Xander looked up and blinked at what looked like a homeless person and nodded.
"Yeah, I'm ok."
Rincewind groaned and sat up.
"Bloody buggering hell that hurt."
Old Pete winced at the sound of that voice.
"Rincewind? Rincewind… dat be you?"
Rincewind blinked and slowly turned to look at the speaker.
"I know you. Paul… Pat… Peter… no, Pete. Old Pete… right?"
Old Pete nodded and grinned.
"Dis be better than gold. Finding you be worth more than finding gold!"
Xander blinked and smiled at the old man.
"Really… why?"
Old Pete grinned his three-toothed grin and laughed.
"Cause The Patrician made it a law dat anyone dat finds lost Wizards gets a wish… and Rincewind 'ere has been missin' fer years."
Rincewind grinned and chucked.
"Well… that's nice. Um… why don't we… um… oh no, we're in the Shades, aren't we?"
Old Pete cackled and nodded… then frowned as he heard and felt the eyes of dozens of people on them.
"Bugger…"
Feeling danger, Xander hopped to his feet, grabbed Rincewind and tossed him over his shoulder before taking off into the darkness… kicking a shadowy figure in the head as he went…
*Scooby HQ*
"… does it say?"
Melissa turned a few dials and blinked. She pressed a few buttons and blinked again.
"Um… Dawn. Did you key these codes?"
On the other end, Dawn frowned.
"No… Willow's spell did. Why?"
Melissa swallowed.
"I'm not getting a number. I'm getting what looks like a drawing of turtle with elephants standing on its back."
*New York*
Dawn blinked at the payphone and shook her head.
"A drawing… of a turtle with elephants standing on its back? How is that possible?"
Hearing this, Willow perked up and pulled out the book. Flipping through it quickly, she found the section with drawings… in the back of the book.
"Let's see… a floating eye… a mongoose fucking a snake wrapped around a skull… a really well drawn breast… ah, a turtle with elephants on its back."
Willow leaned in closer and blinked in shock.
"This isn't possible."
Dawn and Buffy looked and Willow, then moved to look over at the book themselves and read.
"The Realm of The Patrician… and you can stop reading this right now, little missy, and go home… 'The One Who Sees' is mine now… and frankly, I don't share."
Dawn blinked as the book suddenly burst into flames.
"Willow… what the hell was that?!"
Willow, her eyes wide with fear, trembled.
"I have no idea…"
End Chapter One