Almost Perfect
There are times in your life when you wonder if anyone actually cares about you, genuine cares about because of you, not because you're beautiful or because you're their daughter, sister, girlfriend; but because of your character. I don't think there's anyone out there who can look past my outer shell and see the real me.
I moved closer to the edge of the water so the cool waves could caress my feet, making footprints as I walked across the soft sand. I bent down to pick up a seashell and sighed in wonder. Some dreams just don't come true, sometimes you just have to give up. I really thought that Ranger understood me, that he could look past my exterior and see the determination inside. The determination to move past the Burg standards, to create a life which makes me happy, to live life on my terms.
It took a bit of fumbling around, but I had achieved each and every one of those goals. I trained every day for two hours, became excellent at my job, found a place away from the Burg, disconnected myself for the gossip chain and started living my life the way I wanted to. I even learned how to cook so I wouldn't have to survive on take-away. Almost everything was perfect. Almost.
I haven't talked to Ranger in ten months, not since he made that comment about me eventually giving into the Burg expectations and marrying Morelli. Joe and I are still friends, but no longer romantically involved and never again will be. I have a network of people who encourage me and my decisions and I'm happy. I am very happy.
Why does it seem like I'm trying to convince myself?
I realised that I'd walked two miles across the beach lost in my thoughts. I was about to turn when I saw a familiar figure dressed in black looking out at the ocean. I walked towards him and sat down on the sand next to him.
"Deep thoughts?" I asked
Ranger did not seem surprised to see me as he spared me a glance. "Just thinking."
His cryptic answer did not surprise me as I stood up to give him his space once again. Least I disturb his solitary existence.
He started talking as he saw me move, "I have everything I will ever need – money, looks, friends – but there's something missing. I have achieved everything I've ever wanted. My life is almost perfect, I cannot for the life of me figure out what is missing!" he growled out.
"Maybe you don't want to admit to yourself what you know you are missing. Does all that cash keep your bed warm, and your heart full?" I retorted.
"I didn't mean it you know."
"What?" I asked confused.
"I didn't mean that you should marry Joe, I just wanted you to take your life more seriously, and I'm proud that you did. I didn't want to be exiled from your life." He elaborated
"You exiled yourself, you knew where I lived, had my number. You've frequently broken into my apartment, in the past"
"I knew where you lived, but sometimes it's nice to be invited."
"So you can tell to that you don't do relationships and that I should marry Morelli and have his babies? I already have a mother Ranger, I don't need or want another one… I think I'm going to leave now. This 'discussion' is getting us nowhere." I declared as I stood up.
"How could I expect anything different, always run when things get difficult, the Stephanie Plum way of life." Ranger said bitterly
I stalked away from him, angry, drained and exhausted, when suddenly I was trapped by muscular arms around my waist.
"You Stephanie are a tough act to follow." He grumbled
"Wha–" he put a finger to my lips, effectively shutting me up.
"Do you know how much you hurt my pride when instead of coming to me for your training, you found someone else, and how instead of calling me to partner up with you when the skips were harder, you called my men. I should have been the one to watch you progress into the self-assured person you are now, instead I had to listen to updates on your life from gossip." He pulled me closer, his front to my back and continued "my men had keys to your new house, invitations to dinner and I had to sit back and pretend that it didn't bother me that you so effectively cut me out of your life because of my stupid 'foot in my mouth' syndrome. How can my life be perfect when such an essential piece is missing?" he finished softly, almost whispering the words.
I turned around in his arms in time to see the moisture in his eyes. "I have pride too you know, there's only so many times I can take being rejected. That was twice you sent me to another man. You don't know how many time I've picked up the phone just to tell you about my day before I realised that I couldn't talk to you. I've had way too many toxic relationships in my life, so it was easier to cut you out than watch you withdraw from me day by day. When you said those words it was as if my entire support system was pulled away from me, I had to build from ground up just to function."
"Babe, I'm so sorry…" he whispered "Please come back to me."
"I'm sorry too, but what happens the next time you push me away?"
"I have the perfect idea!" he exclaimed, suddenly excited.
I looked at him apprehensively as he went on "how about we go to Vegas for a two week holiday, get married, come back and tell our families and friends."
"That is the stupidest thing I've heard."
"I know isn't it great?! No one will be expecting that."
I giggled as I thought of all the reactions to the unexpected nuptial.
"Let's do it!" I agreed gleefully
We started walking back towards my car when I suddenly had a thought, I stopped walking causing Ranger to turn around and raise an eyebrow at me "You knew I was going to be here."
"Babe." He said with a grin as he pulled as diamond ring out of his pocket and slid it onto my finger. I laughed all the way to the car.
I don't even know what happened in this story, it just kinda narrated itself, so don't blame me, blame the muse Hope you enjoyed, so please review and make my day. I have an exam tomorrow and should be studying… you guys should give me some tips on how not to procrastinate
I will add a new chapter to my story Unexpected Encounters soon, in a week or two… I thank you all for your patience with me on this.