True love is supposed to be unconditional and unbreakable isn't it?
Then why do I feel myself distancing me from this man? From this man who used to be my safe haven, my Elysium.
Am I such a fickle that on the first signs of trouble I run for the hills? I know that I should stay. It's the right and honorable thing to do.
But I've never claimed to be honorable and I'm far from perfect. I make mistakes and sometimes I learn from them and sometimes I don't.
So I make another mistake and I pack my bags and walk out of his life. It's selfish but it's me.
I sit on the bed. It's so soft and warm. It reminds me of him. Lately everything reminds me of him. Sometimes I lay awake at night and regret what I've done and other days, I just mope.
Sometimes what's right for you doesn't always make you happy and I know that I'm anything but happy. I look at the clock on the night table. The glowing numbers are illuminating in the dark. It's telling me something, something important but I can't seem to remember.
It hurts to think because every time I do, all I see is him. His smile, his frown, his face, his everything. He's my everything. But I'm not his, not anymore. I tell myself that I chose this but the truth is, I didn't.
Sometimes life gets in the way. It's just the way it is. I don't try to think of it but I know that a huge part of it is my selfishness. But I'd rather he hate me than I if I ended up hating him if I stayed.
They say love conquers all but does it, really? I know that it's powerful, but encompassing? I don't believe so. The world isn't just white or black, there's grey in between.
Maybe one day we'll get to try again. Maybe one day he'll forgive me. Maybe one day we'll end up as vampires and feed on each other. It's highly improbable. But something I've learned over the years? Nothing's impossible. Maybe one day it'll all happen and maybe one day love will conquer all but right now, there's nothing but emptiness. Hollow emptiness.
So whaddya think?
Abiha.