A/N: This starts off the day of Nuke break up and right after LuRe "moment". See Trailer here: .com/watch?v=560iG6pd7wk
Chapter One
"Your New Twin Sized Bed" by Death Cab For Cutie (all chapter named after songs. Check out the songs I use. Most are pretty awesome! at least in my opinion)
"What the hell was that?" Luke thought out loud, swaying ever so slightly at the sudden burst of dizziness. It was then that he realized that he forgot to breath, and released the gasp of warm air that had been built up since he gazed at how intensely Reid's eyes pierced into his own. With the way his face was formed and what he said, an outsider could look in on them and mistake it as simply anger, but it was so much more than that. Why else would a shock be still going up and down Luke's spine? It had to be pure electricity that did it. And it was big enough to make him momentarily forget what he was so angry about in the first place.
Luke brushed one hand through his hair as he went back over to the couch, crashing down into it's cushions. Why did the mood just change so suddenly? One minute they were arguing with each other to the point where Luke had to grab Reid and drag him out, and the next minute, well, he just couldn't find the words to describe it. What was that feeling that he was getting from Reid? It couldn't be desire. That was just not a possibility. For the most part, Reid and him hated each other, plain and simple. They would constantly do what ever they could to piss the other one off when ever they ran into each other, but there was just something about him that Luke just found so intriguing. He had no idea what it was, or how he came upon it, but he couldn't help but feel the urge to go digging. One problem with that is that he had know idea on where that would lead him. This incident proved that.
Flashing back to just moments before he could still feel Reid's grip around his arm filled with the same desperation in his voice that said. 'I've been pushed around enough, for one day, Mr. Snyder. I would advise you to take one, very big step back'. Luke couldn't stop himself looking down, directing his attention to Reid's lips as his jaw clenched. He couldn't help but feel like he was holding something back. He was stopping himself from doing something impulsive. Luke looked back up to his eyes, but then his gaze kept returning to Reid's mouth and for a moment he was completely lost. He held back a gasp as much as he could so that Reid wouldn't catch on, and he felt like all he wanted to do was lean in and.....
No, no, no! Luke lowered his head deeper into his hands and he tried to claw out any sign of attraction that he had for the disdainfully proud doctor. He just couldn't be attracted to him. It just didn't make any sense. Yes, it was a given that Reid was good looking, brilliant, successful, alluring...
"Damn it." Luke cursed under his breath. "It was nothing, so why am I still thinking about it?" It wasn't until he was close to pulling out his own hair when someone suddenly came walking in through the front door, causing Luke to jerk up.
"Luke? Darling, what are you doing?" Lucinda asked as she strolled over to sit beside him.
"Oh, nothing grandmother. I am just a little..." he sighs "You know what? I really don't know what I am feeling right now."
"Well, it has to be something, if it has my grandson so shaken. Now tell me what happened."
"It's... I- Noah and I broke up." As those words spilled out of his mouth everything in his head instantly clicked. Noah. That's what all of this had to be about. Everything that was happening, all that he has been feeling is because of Noah. Luke's emotions were going completely crazy because he was grieving the loss of a three year long relationship. He cou- didn't, have any feelings for Oliver.
"Oh, I am so sorry dear." She offered a comforting hand on Luke's shoulder.
"Yeah, me too. But I guess that this was the direction it was heading in. I was just too naive to believe that things would just get better in time."
"No, darling." Lucinda started, preparing to defend her grandson's feelings. "Hopeful. You were hopeful that things would get better. That is a very important distinction. Naive is clouded judgment for something that is very difficult to come by. Hope is wanting something and holding on until you get it. It's fighting against the odds until there are none left that can be fought. It takes a strong person to have such hope and you are lucky to have it." She ended with her fist raised, adding determination to her point.
"And look where it's gotten me. Acting like a clingy, whiny boyfriend that Noah doesn't want anymore. And I can't even say that I have any hope left. Plus, how can I be the strong one when I am also the one who broke it off because he couldn't give me everything I wanted?" Luke's face remained solemn, but sunk more with defeat.
"Oh! So you were the one who broke it off?" Luke nodded in response. "Hmmmmmm..." She sounded her signature hum of intrigue.
Luke's eyebrow raised with curiosity in what she was thinking. "Hmmmmmmm, what?"
"No, I a shall not say another word. If you are anything like your mother you will only disagree with what my opinion is and accuse me of meddling."
He leaned in closer looking his grandmother straight in the eye, trying to pry the information out of her. "Come on, grandmother. I know you want to stick your nose in this. You always do." he said, causing Lucinda to chuckle slightly. "Now tell me, why do you think it is so interesting that I am the one who ended my relationship with Noah?"
"Alright, Alright. But don't you think about holding this against me." She pointed a finger directly at Luke and he could only smirk. "I will confess that I am quite relieved that you were the one to finally take control of the relationship and end it yourself."
"What? Why?"
"Because, darling. You, the Luke we have loved with all our hearts was fading away. You have been spending the last four or five months devoting all your energy on helping a man who clearly doesn't appreciate your efforts. Now, don't get me wrong. I Love Noah and what happened to him was a horrible, horrible thing. I can understand that he is going through the most difficult situation possible, but that doesn't give him the right to completely forget about your feelings. "
"Fine, I can understand how you might see it that way, but doesn't this all contradict your whole theory about me having hope and strength? I mean, I could have still waited for Noah to come around and tell me that he needs me after all."
"Ah, yes, but it does take a lot of strength to be able to realize what you need and give up the person you love the most. And you can still have hope. Whether it be with Noah or just your life in general you can hope for better things to come around in the future. It wasn't fair for Noah to keep stringing you along when he had no commitment left in him. It was clear that you both could see the struggle in your relationship, but you were the only one with the courage to do something about it. If it had continued the relationship would have only suffered more and then you wouldn't have even had a chance of being truly happy together in the future."
"I see your point. I guess that I just feel guilty. He told me what he needed, and that was space. I could have just backed off and not gotten in his way. I didn't have to dump him on top of everything he is going through."
"Noah wanted his independence and isn't that exactly what you gave him?"
"Yeah well, if he is independent, then what does that make me? I don't know who I am without Noah."
Lucinda just scoffed, waved it off and sat up straighter. "Why you are Luke Snyder. A charming, talented, and passionate young man who was very much a person before he met Noah Mayer. Just go do something that isn't about a guy for once and focus on yourself."
"All I can say is that I will try to figure things out."
"Try? There is no try with this. There is only do!" Luke offered a smile to support her enthusiasm, but it faltered a bit.
"Thank you, Grandmother. I will do just that, when I can figure out what in the hell that means."
"Alright then. Just promise me one thing. You are going get past this and you are going to be happy for once. You promise me?"
"I promise." Luke didn't really know how else to please her, but promise the one thing that he wasn't sure if he could do or not. He just knew that a part of him would always think that there would be no happiness if there was no Noah. His heart was just complete owned by the man and he can't get it back from him. It's like he took it from his chest and ran and all Luke wanted to do was to see it again.
A/N; Was that completely terrible? Ah, well. Just wanted to get it out there. Once my sister has time to start beta'ing it for me then it should kick it up a notch as well. She is a writer so she knows what she is talking about. I don't have spring break anymore next week, so it will probably take about another week for the next chapter. Thanks for reading! and stay tuned
