Hi guys! So it's my first Fanfic on , and boy am I nervous. This is also my first fanfiction of Kuroshitsuji which i fell in absolute love with. And yes, though i really like writing, that doesn't necessarily mean I'm any good at it! So please ignore any punctuation and grammatical mistakes i make, because im sure there will be many. Please enjoy, and leave a review if you're up for it! Thanks!
Btw, I definitely don't own Kuroshitsuji or the lyrics to Monochrome No Kiss- or anything in the plot from Black Butler. The only thing i own is the crappy story and my character Em (along with other minor characters)
Em stared at the wall in front of her. The blank, white surface loomed over her. It had been two years. Two years since her everything had been snatched away. Two years since she had been left alone- in the cold and uncaring world.
"Cassidy! Time to come down for brekkie, dear!"
Em's foster mother called from below. In the room next to hers, Em heard Cassidy groan, let out a stream of swear words and promptly fall back asleep. She let a small frown play before her features, but to Em this was nothing new. Cassidy never appreciated the care her parents showed her anyways,
Em stood, legs sore. She had been sitting there for nearly an hour, mulling over the past. Today was the one day in a year that she let herself think about what had happened two years ago on this fateful day.
Yet she did not let her fears and sadness overwhelm her. No, that wasn't what Em had taught herself to be. She stretched, hearing several bones on her body crack. The small clock on her bed stand flashed 7:03.
Flicking on the light to the spacious bathroom she and Cass shared, Em studied herself in the floor-length mirror. A girl she barely recognised stared back at her.
Messy black hair reaching to her chest was mostly parted to one side of her head, the other side cropped tight but not to the point her scalp showed through the jet strands. A blank stare of vibrant green eyes. Her lip piercing shone purple in the bright overhead light.
The girl's whole appearance screamed punk- the opposite of who Em really was. But she preferred it this way. Closing her eyes, she splashed cold water onto her face, letting the chill distract her from her thoughts. Mentally scolding herself for letting herself feel for so long, Em pulled her cloak off steel on once again, freezing her soul to permafrost levels.
Breakfast was uneventful. Of course it would be uneventful if the whole family pretended Em didn't existed. She grabbed a piece of toast off the table, ignoring her foster parents. Said two people sipped at coffee, going about their daily lives. Which did not include Em.
This was how it had been for two years, now.
The latter swallowed the bread down with a glass of orange juice that had been set distinctly further away from the family. Setting the glass into the sink, she rinsed it and returned upstairs. Stuffing her timetable into her black, studded shoulder bag, Em ran a brush through her unruly hair, applied a layer of gloss -avoiding the small stud- and thickly outlined her eyes with a soft kohl pencil.
Em plugged headphones into her Iphone and after grabbing the lunch she had prepared the night before walked out of the house.
It was still quiet outside, the first rays of sunshine just beginning to light up the roads. Em liked the stillness. Few cars drove past as she walked along the paved path. She had set out early today so that she could visit her parents-her real parents. Jogging up a path, Em pushed open the tall metal gates. Finding her way around the area was easy- the estate was like Em's second home. Once she was in front of her parents, she smiled softly.
"Hello mother, father." she whispered brushing her fingers against the cool, smooth gravestone.
The date on the stone mocked her. 24/10/14. Exactly two years ago. Em closed her eyes, and rested her head against the gravestone. In a quivering voice, she began to speak about her life.
"I'm fine mum, dad. Life is just great. School is so fun...I can't wait to go everyday."
Em paused. She didn't know why she lied to her parents- it wasn't like they could actually hear her anyways. School was definitely not fun.
"I have so many friends, Mom! There's Sarah, Katie, Diya…And Dad, don't worry about me getting a boyfriend. I know, I know. No relationships till 18. I get it."
She smiled at the gravestone, noticing water drip down her cheek. It created little drops on the grave, and Em wiped the tears away.
"But you know, I'm never getting into a relationship anyways. Nuh-uh. Sebastian is my bae, and no one is ever gonna be as good as him. He's so handsome, and cool, and he's so strong and I absolutely love how he has a cute side to him."
Em laughed, more tears spilling down her cheeks.
"You never liked Kuroshitsuji, did you? Remember that time I tried to make you watch it, mum, and you freaked out in the first ten minutes when you saw the crow? That was hilarious! You said some stuff about how crows represent death, but I never believed in that. Black Butler is taking over your life, you used to say."
She fell silent, laughter dying down. Used to…
"I still watch it though, mum. Both of you, don't worry. I haven't changed a bit. Nope, not at all. I'm still the same old Emmy."
Em wiped her face clean, standing up on shaky legs.
"I need to go now. Don't want to be late for school after all. I'll be back...next year. Same day, same time. Deal?"
She waited, before answering her own question with a sad smile.
"Deal."
Em turned and ran out of the cemetery, not looking back until she was safely out of the metal gates. She would have to tie her emotions down for one more year, till this day finally came around again. But for the moment, she needed something to distract herself from the pain she had created herself by visiting her parents.
And so she put on her headphones, looking down through blurry eyes to scroll through her playlist. She stepped off the pavement to cross the road. Monochrome no Kiss, she decided, squinting through her tears at the screen.
Which was how she didn't notice the truck speeding towards her. The song turned on, the headphones on full volume. Which was how she didn't hear the tires squeal as the driver desperately tried to brake.
The full force of an eighteen tonne truck hit her, knocking her back many metres. She heard bones crack, and sticky hot blood spill. Except for the initial explosion of pain, her body had turned numb, a strange blackness seeping through her veins.
As she lay there, her life slowly draining out of her, her mind went into a strangely calm state. So I'm dying. Huh. Expected it sooner or later. I guess...I wish my life had been a little better. Not to be reunited with my parents- not at all. I can't face them after everything was my fault… No, I wish…
The song played faintly in her ears. It felt so far away, but she could still hear the lyrics quite clearly.
sore de mo tashika ni ai no katachi wo sagashita
tooku yori mo ima wo musunda nureta hitomi wa
dekireba kono mama tsutsumarete owaritai
sono negai wa yoru wa munashiku asa wo tsurete kuru
Despite not being able to speak Japanese, Em understood these lyrics even as she slipped into unconsciousness.
Nevertheless, I definitely searched for a form of love
Your teary eyes tied it to the present from a time far beyond
If I can, I want to end while shrouded this like
Your wish and the night bring morning along in vain
How beautiful...she thought. Seems to fit my life for these past two years. How I wish I had lived in Kuroshitsuji…
Em didn't remember what brought upon those last few moments. Maybe it was the urgency of the moment- the last few thoughts she wanted to have before the darkness stole her away. But all she did know was despite her brain telling her how stupid this was, she had mentally screamed out to any demons that could exist.
Please, let me live in the world of Black Butler. I will give my soul to any demon that wants it, just satisfy my desires.
And through the hazy fog that filled her mind, she could've sworn she had seen a black cat walk past her head.
Do you swear to follow through the contract, and give up your soul once your desires have been fulfilled? A smooth, velvety voice questioned. Or was that just her brain, making things up in these last few moments of her life?
Em didn't hesitate. I swear upon the Faustian Contract. She spoke loudly and clearly. Or was that also just in her mind? She wasn't sure what to believe anymore.
As she sunk into that ocean of death, she heard one last sentence echo through her mind.
Yes, Mistress.