I Can Be Brave
Author's note: I don't own anything you recognise, all of which belongs to the magnificent J. .
This is just a quick one-shot that randomly came to me yesterday. I hope you like it, I did try to make it fit in with canon as much as possible. Basically it's just a cute little fic of what I think a certain character would do if he had a crush; probably a little boring I'll admit myself haha. Since I'm no male myself I don't know their thought processes so please forgive any inaccuracies here; I've just always imagined him as a very watered-down version of Manny Delgaro from Modern Family. I also realise that there may be a few teeny grammar mistakes and use of the word 'still' a lot, but right now I'm not planning on editing any of my work until the end of the month.
Enjoy! (Oh and reviews are most welcomed J)
"You CAN do it. You ARE a lion. You ARE brave."
Ordinarily he would have thought sitting in front of a mirror talking to himself would make him appear a little crazy. He knew it certainly wasn't normal in the muggle world where he grew up. Sure, some people would recite speeches before big presentations or give themselves pep talks, but they would never do it where someone might happen to walk in. However, he was in the wizarding world and knew that many of his kind would use enchanted mirrors that would shout insults or compliments at their viewers. Anyway, he needed this talk. He needed to be sure that what he was about to do would not result in disaster.
Running a hand through his mousy brown hair he sighed. Perhaps this wasn't the best day to do this. He wasn't ready; he wasn't brave enough. No matter how many times he practiced his own prepared speech it was no use. He plopped himself down on his four-poster bed just as the dormitory door flew open to reveal his room-mate and best-friend, Thomas.
"Dude, c'mon! Everyone's in their common rooms studying. Let's get down to dinner before they do and get a better seat."
"I don't think I could eat right now to be honest."
"You're not still moping about it are you? Just get down there and do it already!" Whilst loyal and a wicked gob-stones player, Thomas was definitely not the most sensitive of his friends.
"You just don't get it. I can't do it. What if I'm humiliated in front of everyone?"
"It's not that bad. Merlin, I've seen you do harder things before. Anyways, you're thirteen now, practically a man!"
"We both know this is much scarier than wrestling a hippogriff-"
"Which you've never done."
"Or standing up to an older Slytherin."
"Yea, well, I'm sure it won't be that bad." Thomas was now growing impatient. Sure, he'd never done it himself before but he'd seen the Weasley twins do similar things hundreds of times.
"I just don't know. I spoke to Fabian the other day and he agrees."
"What does that kid know?"
"More than you."
Thomas huffed and rolled his eyes. This was getting ridiculous.
"He said that the bravest thing a Gryffindor male could do, or any man for that matter, is to ask a girl out." His face was dead pan as he said this, indicating that Thomas should nod solemnly in agreement.
"That is true." The moment went as soon as it came when he followed with "But I'm still hungry. Look, just think of why you want this. Is she really worth it? You know, with all the potential humiliation?" Realising this wasn't quite the way to go, he added, "I know you're a little younger and everything but she's not that out of your league. She's a bit geeky right? Still single? You'll do well. I'll meet you in the Great Hall. Good luck mate!"
This was so frustrating! Thomas was right, of course. He had done other brave things. The hat would not have placed him in Gryffindor if he wasn't capable. On the other hand, Thomas was wrong in that she wasn't out of his league. Sure she was interested in things many people weren't, but that's why he liked her. She cared about other creatures; she had a sense of what was just in the world. He knew that compared to his peers he was a little more sophisticated but that was no match for her elegance and the way she carried herself high. She was a brilliant witch and wouldn't mind talking to him about muggle things to make him feel more at home in the castle.
He thought back to the first time he had laid eyes on her. His brother had sent his usual letter home containing bundles of photographs of his life at Hogwarts. The shock that his brother was in fact a wizard still hadn't worn off, nor had the fact that their mail came by owl. If he was to be honest, he was a little jealous of his brother. What fun it would be to wield magic and fly on brooms! Still, it was his favourite part of the week when he would come home from school, dump his bag at the wooden front door, and run to the table whilst his father opened the mail. The photos contained many of the usual things; extraordinary looking animals, children flying around white hoops on broomsticks, Hagrid's hut (a regular in the pile) and a few shy classmates. There was always a dozen pictures of the apparently famous Harry Potter among them. Flipping through the pile, one particular image had caught his eye. It was of a girl that looked to be around his brother's age, who was reading a newspaper at one of the long tables. Around her other students were smiling or eating.
At first he could not fathom why this particular girl had caught his attention. She didn't look too different to any other girl in his class; to him, all girls looked the same with the exception of what colour hair they had. Perhaps it was the fact that she was reading a newspaper? Although he enjoyed playing computer games and reading comics like many of his friends, he felt it best to know what was going on in the world. He would often impress his teachers by reading newspapers and watching some news on television before flicking the channel over to The Simpsons. He especially liked spending this half hour with his father as it was the only time he had off from work. It was only him and his father now that his brother had left for school; his mother had passed away a long time ago. Even though his father didn't show it, he didn't want him to be lonely.
He had spent that night tossing and turning, consumed with the vision of the girl. Who was she? Why did he care? It wasn't until he confided his thoughts to one of his friends the following day at school that he understood he had his first crush. He wanted to write to his brother asking about her, if he even knew who she was, but thought better of it. He wouldn't be going to Hogwarts anyway; better to find a new hobby or something.
The girl was forgotten for a few years until the moment he was accepted into Hogwarts and sorted into Gryffindor. The very same girl he had once admired was in his house, HIS house! What joy! Still, by now she had grown even more beautiful and seemed to be constantly surrounded by friends and admirers alike. He had to play it cool.
It was the little things that made him think he was a genius, even now as he sat on his bed and continued to ponder his next move. Throughout his first year he made sure to get to know her likes and dislikes in order to find little ways to impress her. The first opportunity came when he had overheard one of her friends talk about 'S.P.E.W'. He thought it a curious name for an organisation to support house-elf rights but was more concerned about how he could volunteer. His brother had joined and was considered one of her close friends, so he used this premise to join himself. Unfortunately he found out that not many people were as interested in the cause as he was originally led to believe. He took a few knitted hats off the common room tables to show the organisation's leader that she was doing the right thing but eventually gave up. The second opportunity presented itself in The Daily Prophet. With all the chaos of the Triwizard tournament, rumours soon began to fly about different relationships within the castle. Everyone was outraged about what had been written, particularly the Weasley boys. Having spent all his time reading newspapers he decided he would try again to win the girl's affection by writing a professional letter to the newspaper's editor asking for a retraction of all gossip articles written by Rita Skeeter. Unfortunately, this only resulted in him receiving a particularly nasty howler from the awful columnist, insisting that he mind his own business. Dutifully he resisted writing any complaints upon the harsh realisation that his crush had a crush of her own and would be attending the Yule ball with him.
Last year his attempts were a little less sneaky. He had now experienced life at the school for a whole year and thus felt his attempts at wooing her could be a little more obvious. Over the summer he had planned out different ways in which he could get her to notice him. He knew she liked everything about muggles, as did her family, so he made sure to leave time in his busy homework schedule to have small conversations about life outside Hogwarts. She seemed to enjoy these, going so far as to ask him what he would like to do after he left school; would it be a muggle or magical profession that he would like to pursue? This particular conversation had left him elated for days, not caring that Professor Snape had given him a detention and docked several house points for forgetting to light his cauldron. He made sure to send her a few bunches of flowers and cryptic love poems in the morning post. At first he could not work out why she did not immediately rush into his arms and declare her undying devotion to him; he thought he was a decent poet and his brother had said that that was what girls liked. It wasn't until Harry Potter had run into him on the way to the staff room carrying his snowy-white owl that he realised that the post was being tampered with. Perhaps the ministry thought his notes went against the latest decree about student relationships?
His most daring act of affection was when he joined the D.A. His brother and friends had encouraged him to join and he was more than willing to stick it to the ugly pink toad, authority figure or not. Plus, this new group might have given him some street cred, as his friends back home would say. He knew that the only girl he could now think of was a bit of a rebel, proving as much with her wicked hexing ability. The one-on-one duels made him think this plan would work best, as she constantly praised his efforts. It was going so well in fact that he had gained a higher sense of self. He began showing off his new-found boldness in each practice. When a booming sound was coming from the wall during one meeting he was the first to investigate. This boldness, however, was fleeting as his pride was knocked out of him by Harry as he fell to the ground. Umbridge and her Inquisitorial Squad had found the group, effectively putting an end to any more illegal practices and to his almost perfected 'bad-boy' image.
"Mate, are you still here? You're missing out on all the fuss! Come downstairs quickly, Ginny has just dumped Dean and it's a mess!" Thomas had reappeared, not seeming too sorry that he had just interrupted his thoughts.
Stretching out his tired legs, he got off his bed and followed his over-enthusiastic friend out of the room. True-to-his-word, the common room was noisier than usual. A group of girls had surrounded the red-head whilst Dean was nowhere in sight. Boys were shooting glares at each other, obviously taking either side of the conflict.
"Go on, go make your move now. It's the perfect time whilst everyone is distracted." Thomas gave him a little push in the direction of his crush.
"Wh-what? I can't now, I don't want to be insensitive!"
"Girls are insensitive. Trust me." A disgruntled-looking Cormac shoved his way past the two boys, pinching his nose as it dripped blood onto the already scarlet carpet.
"Well, on the bright side you can't be worse off than him. Go get her mate." Patting him on the back, he was pushed further into the crowd before he felt the pressure on his back ease.
This was it, time to bring the last few years into a result. The air seemed to feel thinner as he took each timid step forward. He could see her now, surrounded by a few other girls. Thankfully no boys were present in this particular corner of the room; it would only make this all the more harder. But why did girls always have to hang around each other? It was a fascinating phenomenon when he first noticed it in primary; girls would often sneak away to the bathrooms together to do who knows what. Now it was just frustrating. Couldn't they be a little more independent? He thought his girl was but, as his bad luck would have it, here she was sitting with the more brutally honest pack of Gryffindor girls. He was aware of the man-hate holes they were already burning into the back of his head as he moved past. He took a few deep gulps of air, more than strictly necessary. Maybe it was better that he concentrated on her gorgeous smile or the way her hair caught the light, rather than her narrowed eyes at his approach.
"Um, uh, hi. Could, could I, could I ask you something?" He mentally smacked himself on the forehead at his stammering. Couldn't he be the suave gentlemen he always thought he would be as a teenager?
"Now isn't really the best time Dennis."
"Please, it will only take a sec. I just wanted to, um, what happened to your hand?" He had only just noticed that her delicate right hand was covered in a white scarf.
"Oh, that's nothing, just some twit wouldn't take no for an answer."
"Males are all the same." One of the girls comforting Ginny piped up, shooting a fierce glare at him despite his innocence in this matter.
"Um, well, I'm sure he deserved it."
"Yea, he did. It was Cormac if you must know."
"Oh, yea, well, he's a bit of a show off right?" Maybe this wasn't the best time.
"He is, I swear I would've done so much more if…" She was firing up but calmed herself; now was not the time. Ginny had her own boy troubles at the moment and it wasn't appropriate to go over her own. Her face softened as she realised that the young boy in front of her was agreeing. She knew she was right but it was nice to hear other people say it. "Well no matter. I'm sure you are very different, don't worry yourself with it too much, ok? Now, what did you want to ask?"
"Uh, never mind Hermione. I'll, I'll catch you another time." Without waiting, he turned around and escaped the continually growing horde of females surrounding his crush and Ginny.
"So, how did it go? What did she say?" Thomas was all too eager to get details now that he had something in his stomach.
"Uh, well, she was the one who did that to Cormac. You know, his nose. So I decided to leave."
"Ouch, tough break man. Ah well, there are plenty of fine lasses around here you know. Wait, why are you smiling?"
"Well, I might not have gotten there yet but…guess what? She says she thinks I'm different to him! I'm not like Cormac!" He couldn't stop the grin spreading on his face. She didn't detest him, which was enough for him!
"Right, whatever you say mate."