Disclaimer: I don't own it. You don't own it so we're even.
A/N: Well, I'm not sure on what I am about to write. I guess I will just let it "flow" form my fingers and hope something sensible comes out. I know I have tons of other fics that I should really update but I keep just stopping. Its not that I don't like the fics I just don't want to write on it. Don't worry I'll get the updates out before I die.
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Severus is rather moody today. Ok, maybe moody is an understatement but what am I suppose to tell you? He's being a complete and utter ass that I wouldn't mind shoving a pool stick up just to make him shut the hell up? No, I usually reserve that particular action for when he makes me attend those horrible potion seminars with him in Egypt.
Don't get me wrong, I love him, I love potions, I love sitting here behind his desk watching him as he wafts the potion he's brewing away from him but when I got here this morning he did little more then snarl a hello. Since then I've had to endure sarcastic remarks, rolled eyes and just plain being ignored when I asked him a question. I understand that with the war and the increasing times he's had to attend those horrid Death Eater gatherings that he might be worn thin but I still deserve to be treated like a human.
I know I'm young and inexperienced, I'll be the first to admit that, but when we first got together I thought we were over that. I thought he could accept me, love me but it's been down hill since our first argument two weeks ago. We apologized, blubbered on how it was our fault, kissing and forgiving the other time and time again that night but do you think Severus feels sorry any more? I don't even know sometimes. I think I can see the affection in his eyes then he snarls at me with the eyes he reserves usually for class, up and down, all around our love goes. No rest for the weary, or the wicked I guess.
"Severus, are you going to be called again tonight?" I'm compelled to talk to this angry man even when I know I'm brewing an argument again.
"I don't know Hermione, you asked me that last night." He says this all through clenched teeth and a vein pulsing on his temple. He's annoyed with my asking this, but am I not allowed to worry for him. Maybe I should just give him what he wants and not care. He pushed everyone out of his life but let me somehow slip through the cracks but now the cracks are sealing shut while simultaneously pushing me away.
"Didn't you-know-how give you any idea last Saturday when you went? Severus, I'm worried about you love." He hates it when I call him love.
"For god's sake women, why must you question me? Why must you always talk? I am sick of your voice, your naive sense of reality. You don't understand what's going on around you and that there are most important things to worry about then when I'm going to be called. That's the easy part of my spy job, not getting killed off duty is the hard part, you bratty child." He stood at his impressive height bellowing at me from ten feet away.
So this is how things are going to be. Fine, Severus, push me away. I'm done, I give up. I have only given up on two things in my entire life, Divinations and you.
"Ok, maybe this won't work Professor. I'm sorry I bothered you." I leave without looking back.
Maybe he's right, I do have a dim sense of reality but it's the only sense I have. I know so little in this world and one of them is that I love Severus but the other is that I love myself. For a year and a half, I put him in front of me but maybe I was wrong there too. I sit down in front of my mirror. The mirror that had a picture of Severus and me in the vineyard in France, it holds such happy memories but now I have to put them away. I pull a tattered box from one the bottom drawer and drop the picture in next to the ones of Viktor and Ron. It was a journey with Severus, of course what else do you expect but now it's over and I'm oddly ok with that. Good- bye Severus, love. You were great.
A/N: Well, I'm not sure on what I am about to write. I guess I will just let it "flow" form my fingers and hope something sensible comes out. I know I have tons of other fics that I should really update but I keep just stopping. Its not that I don't like the fics I just don't want to write on it. Don't worry I'll get the updates out before I die.
@@@
Severus is rather moody today. Ok, maybe moody is an understatement but what am I suppose to tell you? He's being a complete and utter ass that I wouldn't mind shoving a pool stick up just to make him shut the hell up? No, I usually reserve that particular action for when he makes me attend those horrible potion seminars with him in Egypt.
Don't get me wrong, I love him, I love potions, I love sitting here behind his desk watching him as he wafts the potion he's brewing away from him but when I got here this morning he did little more then snarl a hello. Since then I've had to endure sarcastic remarks, rolled eyes and just plain being ignored when I asked him a question. I understand that with the war and the increasing times he's had to attend those horrid Death Eater gatherings that he might be worn thin but I still deserve to be treated like a human.
I know I'm young and inexperienced, I'll be the first to admit that, but when we first got together I thought we were over that. I thought he could accept me, love me but it's been down hill since our first argument two weeks ago. We apologized, blubbered on how it was our fault, kissing and forgiving the other time and time again that night but do you think Severus feels sorry any more? I don't even know sometimes. I think I can see the affection in his eyes then he snarls at me with the eyes he reserves usually for class, up and down, all around our love goes. No rest for the weary, or the wicked I guess.
"Severus, are you going to be called again tonight?" I'm compelled to talk to this angry man even when I know I'm brewing an argument again.
"I don't know Hermione, you asked me that last night." He says this all through clenched teeth and a vein pulsing on his temple. He's annoyed with my asking this, but am I not allowed to worry for him. Maybe I should just give him what he wants and not care. He pushed everyone out of his life but let me somehow slip through the cracks but now the cracks are sealing shut while simultaneously pushing me away.
"Didn't you-know-how give you any idea last Saturday when you went? Severus, I'm worried about you love." He hates it when I call him love.
"For god's sake women, why must you question me? Why must you always talk? I am sick of your voice, your naive sense of reality. You don't understand what's going on around you and that there are most important things to worry about then when I'm going to be called. That's the easy part of my spy job, not getting killed off duty is the hard part, you bratty child." He stood at his impressive height bellowing at me from ten feet away.
So this is how things are going to be. Fine, Severus, push me away. I'm done, I give up. I have only given up on two things in my entire life, Divinations and you.
"Ok, maybe this won't work Professor. I'm sorry I bothered you." I leave without looking back.
Maybe he's right, I do have a dim sense of reality but it's the only sense I have. I know so little in this world and one of them is that I love Severus but the other is that I love myself. For a year and a half, I put him in front of me but maybe I was wrong there too. I sit down in front of my mirror. The mirror that had a picture of Severus and me in the vineyard in France, it holds such happy memories but now I have to put them away. I pull a tattered box from one the bottom drawer and drop the picture in next to the ones of Viktor and Ron. It was a journey with Severus, of course what else do you expect but now it's over and I'm oddly ok with that. Good- bye Severus, love. You were great.