That star. Up there. It's moving, I'm sure it is. It shouldn't be moving.
Stop! you're making me dizzy!
Oh. Maybe it isnt moving. Maybe it moves when I look away and then moves back when it knows I am going to look again!
Crap! What's that ?
Oh. A plane. From JFK. Or may be the other one. Can't tell. Have been jumpy since we lost the towers. I should have known, I should have known.
The sky sure is dark. It's winter, I remember winter time on the streets. It was hard. It still makes me sad. I dont like to be sad. I move on. I am good at that. Bye bye babies. And Grandma. And Mom.
Oh! The star! It seems so faint all of a sudden! Don't go.
Gone; behind a cloud.
And back! See, I knew it!
I never cry. I never cry. It is something I share with Chandler. Different as our childhoods were - oh poor little rich boy - we both keep it all in. I recognise that in him but I 'll never tell.
Not for me the pretty shoes and darling dresses of Rachel and Monica. I am what I am. I rock.
Yeah - sure I do.
I've done some weird shit in my time. some of it I had to, had no choice, had to make those oddball liasons on the street just to survive.
And now ? I have it good. I have a roof over my head. I have friends even if I am on the periphery, the observer, the one who never went to London, the one who is expected to be all right, cos I'm kooky, so that means I dont feel emotions that are negative, apparently.
I just observe and be a little out of the ordinary so I must be okay, so it seems.
Oh ! that star! It has moved.
I clawed my way through life and now I have a place that is warm and dry to stay and people who I know care and even- even - some money to buy food. I sing and play my music and I like myself and I do not mind I do not care if no one else does.
But I am alone ... no long term boyfriend (oh David - Minsk? Minsk ? Why ?)
No roomie .
Just me.
And no one ever wonders if I mind being separate; they all live so close and I , so far, I was supposed to be the Kip, the one cut out, the unrelated one who lived far away.
Well, guess what, I am still here.
I am me. I am me and I am watching that star and it shines bright and it moves and it belongs in that dark sky; and I move and I breathe and I live and I belong, I do - I belong.
I am strong.