It is All My Fault
This is my first FanFic so please be nice. I love writing obviously and I really want to become a better writer. So please give me constructive criticism I would love to know how you feel I'm doing on my story. Twilight and all of it's characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. I just took her characters and made them human and put them in a different situation.
Beta'd by The Bad Nut. Give her love!
Chapter 1 (BPOV)
I ran inside my house, I was so happy I won the writing contest and I couldn't wait to tell my parents I knew they would be so proud of me. I knew my mom would make me my favorite dessert and I knew my dad would take me to the new book store. I was so happy, everything was great. In the eyes of a ten year old life didn't get any better. I was excited to go home everyday after school and I was excited for my mom to help me with my home work and when my dad would play catch with me every Sunday at the park. I had it all, and I never appreciated it until it was gone.
"Mom I won the writing contest!" I screeched as I ran into her arms. She smelt like apple bosoms like always, it was the most comforting sent in the world.
"Oh honey I'm so proud of you! How about we go out to diner to night?" My mom smiled at me, I was very happy I loved to eat out but we didn't do it often. It was because my mom didn't work and my dad was on the police force. I didn't care I loved everything the way it was.
"Where is Dad?" On cue my dad came in the door and taking off his coat and gun belt. I was afraid of his gun once I wanted to shoot it and so I took the gun outside and I accidentally hit squirrel. I cried all day and I promised I would never touch a gun again. I pulled out of my moms arms and made a dash for my dad. Momentarily forgetting the fact that I'm the worlds clumsiest person alive. I tripped over air and landed flat on my stomach, my dad chuckled as he picked me up.
"You okay Bella?" Dad asked. I squealed and hugged him.
"I won the writing contest!" I yelped as my dad congratulated me and carried me to the police cruiser. I was bouncing in my seat all the way to the Olive Garden. I don't know what it is that I loved about this place but I can't get enough of it. The waiter seated us and when I finished my meal I was excited for dessert. "Mom can I get the chocolate molted cake for dessert?" I asked.
"No Bella I'm sorry you can't have dessert." my mom said sternly, I frowned.
"Mom I want dessert." I whined. I knew if I begged long enough I would get what I wanted..
"No and that's that Charlie lets go pay the bill." We all stood up and I ran out the door to go wait by the cruiser. I bumped into a man with a funny bearded and weird blood shot eyes. He was wearing a boring brown leather jacket and black pants. He wasn't that old maybe twenty, I was scared I knew it was stupid but he scared me.
"Watch it Kid." The man said before going into the restaurant. I grumbled as I stood up. I walked over to the bench to wait until my parents came out.
I doubt my parents even care, we go out to eat once every two weeks so its not like it's special. I won the writing contest I should get a reward and if my parents wouldn't reward me when I do good things then maybe I should find better parents. It is not like they care if they did I would be in there right now eating dessert instead of being out here all alone. I was starting to get really cold and I didn't bring a sweater. My parents probably got dessert without me. I heard a loud bang from inside the building and jumped. I knew instantly something was wrong that sounded like when I hit the squirrel. I wrote it off, telling myself that it was silly someone just dropped a pan or something. I heard a loud scream and knew it was my mom, I heard another shot. I jumped up from the bench and ran to the door. I peeked into the window, and knew that no matter that the image I saw would haunt me forever.
I saw both my dad and mom on the ground bleeding. I gasped, I knew I should look away and run get the police but I couldn't all I could look and was my parents lifeless blood covered bodies. I don't know how long I stood there staring before I looked at the man with the gun now pointed at the cashier. He was wearing the same leather jacket and black pants as the man I bumped into a while ago. That was the man that killed my parents. I was shocked it was all my fault they died if I didn't write we wouldn't have gone out to dinner to night and I would be at home sitting with my dad watching TV. The man saw me standing in the window and winked at me as the cashier filled a bag of money and handed it back to the murderer. The man walked over to the doors where I was standing horror struck.
"You tell the cops you saw me I will hunt you down and kill you, sorry about killing your parents but your dad was a cop then your mom wouldn't shut up. I hope I don't see you later." the man smiled and winked again. I looked back at the bodies of my parents and felt a stabbing pain deep in my stomach, I felt someone just stabbed me with a rusty knife. I flew through the doors dropping down on my knees in front of my parents. I sobbed as I laid down on them knowing they were dead. I couldn't breath I was crying so hard. I looked at me mom and she blinked her eyes a couple times before smiling at me.
"Bella I want you to know that Charlie and I love you very much and we will be watching over you in heaven. Honey be good to whoever adopts you." My mom forced out still smiling into my eyes. I pulled her head into my lap as her breathing became more labored.
"No I won't be good because no one will adopt me! You can't leave me mom I love you so much!" I scream still trying to breath. I looked away from my mom and into the faces of the crowd no one was calling for help. They are just going to watch my mom die! "Do some thing! She is alive somebody help her! She can't leave me! Please someone anyone!" I shrieked as everyone continued to stare at me as I screamed and cried. "SOMEONE PLEASE HELP HER! SHE CAN'T LEAVE, I DON'T HAVE ANYONE ELSE!PLEASE ANY BODY!! SAVE HER!!" I screamed louder, I knew there was nothing anyone could do but I wanted someone to at least try! I looked back at my mom she was mumbling something so I leaned closer to listen!
"I love you the will is in the sock drawer." I sobbed louder as she stopped breathing. I looked back at my dad who had a bullet hole through his head. It was over I have no one. My parents are… dead, I have no other family. I'm alone in the world. No one loves me. No one cares. I was still sobbing over my moms lifeless body as someone griped my arm and tried to pull me off her. But I couldn't let her go she can't leave. I tightened my hold on her as someone tried again to move me.
"Listen you have to let go we need to take her." Some one whispered in my ear but I wasn't letting go. He sighed before leaving and I was past knowing. I sat there and cried until I felt the blood I was drenched in run cold. I got up and scooted away as they came back and took my mom away from me forever. I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see a man in a police uniform staring at me.
"I need to bring you to the station to question you about what you saw." The officer said, I sighed and stood up he lead me to a police cruiser with sobs still racking through my body. Before I knew it I was at the station being lead into a conference room. I was surprised he didn't let me shower considering I was covered in blood. I didn't worry about it, I really didn't care anymore. I sat down and waited for someone to come in and ask me what I saw.
"Hi, Isabella, I'm sorry about your parents but I need you to tell me who killed them." The man in the uniform asked. He sounded sorry, yeah right. I bet he doesn't care I bet he is happy about it. Happy that he finally has a interesting case in this god forsaken town.
"I did." I whispered. It was true if I hadn't won the writing contest my mom wouldn't have took me out to dinner. It was all my fault I might as well have pulled the trigger myself.
"Isabella, that is not true. I need you to describe the person who shot them." The man said sternly. He should have told me what he really wanted then.
"He was tall, maybe six foot two or a little shorter. He had sandy hair that was about shoulder length tied up in a pony tail. The man was wearing a brown leather jacket and black pants. His eyes were blood shot and he had a go-t." I whispered staring at the table. I knew it was right to tell them what happened but at the same time I felt as if I was sentencing myself to death. In way I was I had no doubt in my head that he would find a way to kill me but I really didn't care.
"Thank you I will send someone in here to take you in the back to clean up I afraid your going to have to stay here well we put you up for adoption." I nodded my head still to sad to say anything. It doesn't matter anymore I refuse to replace my family with a fake one. I won't do it. I sighed as another officer lead me to a shower in the back and handed me a police T shirt and basketball shorts. I took a shower and got dressed I fell asleep on the floor in the corner of the police station.
1 ½ months later. Bella is going to her first foster home.
"No I don't want your last name. I am a Swan, and I always will be." I told the social worker, staring pointedly at the woman who was adopting me. I told them repeatedly that I didn't want to go with them and that if they force me I will make there lives terrible. But of coarse she didn't believe me, I was a grief ridden little girl who needed to "be guided into the hand of God". I looked at the women to see her staring at me intently, she was ugly small beady eyes and pale clammy skin she only wore dresses and always pinned her hair up, I looked at the gold cross around her neck and smiled. I was going to be the devil's daughter, play Goth music and use the lords name in vain. I think it will be fun to see how long it takes to get kicked out of their "loving home". I was leaving tomorrow at twelve after they go to church.
"Isabella you will behave I don't want you coming back here. I will just keep sending you away until you get it in your head that you need a home and you need a family." Mr. Morris, the orphanage care taker, said.
"I had a family and I won't replace them." I said acid leaking into my voice, I haven't made any friends in the orphanage I spent three days starving myself then a month of crying in my room so I never explored the place. I turned around and headed up the stairs and I heard sobbing coming from behind the door. I don't know I wanted to comfort whoever was in there but I did badly. I knocked on the door and the sobbing stopped and a boy with messy bronze hair opened the door. He was beautiful, he had bright green eyes and pale skin. I smiled a small sad smile and let out a huff before turning around and sitting on his bed.
"Hi I'm Bella Swan." I said quietly I was still starring at his eyes they were red and puffy from cry but still beautiful.
"I don't care, why are you here?" I know how he felt but I didn't want him as bitter as me so I ignored it an sat on the edge of his bed and looked at him. "What? I cried so what?"
"I'm glad, if you don't cry you don't get better. When did it happen?" I asked still quiet, he looked stunned because most people beat around the bush saying stupid things that don't mead any thing. Like I'm sorry, it'll get better. The last thing you want to hear.
"Two weeks ago. My parents took a drive and didn't come home." He was starring at me silently asking what happened with my parents. I haven't told anyone and I wasn't planning to.
"It won't get easier, It will hurt like hell and you'll want to die every second. It changes you and you learn to work with the pain and you become a different person. Most people will think your better and happy but you won't be. You'll be tougher than everyone else and your life will get easier but the pain is always there." I said and it was true I felt like it and I knew he would too but I will tell him the truth and I won't sugar coat anything.
""What's the worst part?" He asked still quiet.
"Seeing other people happy. Most of the time you'll want to make them in as much pain as you." I looked at to see he was staring a me worried like this isn't what he wanted me to feel like.
"I'm Edward Mason." I nodded. "I'm glad you didn't give me the "it'll be okay speech" I understand what you mean but I don't want to be like that. I'm sure no one does but I can tell your being truthful and I want to get better." He mumbled looking at the floor.
"Then your going to disgrace your parents by forgetting them. I'm sorry I shouldn't have come in here. You just like them your parents love you and you replace them you're going to be happy. I thought maybe you wouldn't be as heartless as the rest of them. Your just as weak, I will not replace my parents ever." I felt a tear slip down my cheek as I thought about my parents. I wiped it away and felt two arms wrap around me.
"I won't replace my parents but I will be happy. People say the pain fades." I smiled and wrapped my arms around his middle.
"I'm glad your in a better place than me Edward. A place I won't ever get to, but you have hope I want you to get better and be happy and find people who love you." I looked at him to see a few tears spill from his eyes I smiled again and wiped them away before continuing, "Be happy."
"You can get better to. You don't have to be so bitter." He smiled. I don't know why but all I wanted to do was kiss him but before I could lean in he was talking. "Tell me what happened. It'll help, it helped me to tell you." I slid off the bed and looked at him I wanted to tell him. Then I remember how my parents died and I frowned a few more tears spilling out. I saw the man in my head and it killed my little wave of hope. That man killed me.
"No, I won't. I am glad I helped you but it is to late for me. I liked talking to you and I hope you get adopted." I said walking towards the door feeling the little bit of happiness I had managed to get disappear.
"Wait we can still be friends. We don't have to talk about this kind of stuff." I walked back over to him and threw my arms around him and cried on his shoulder. I cried because I wanted to tell him. I cried because I would never see him again. And I cried because I felt a little bit of warmth at what he said.
"I'm so sorry. I want to but they are sending me away tomorrow and I-I will probably never see you again. Your healing and moving on. Your smart and caring and beautiful by the time I get them to kick me out you will already be adopted." I sighed and pulled away. "Goodbye Edward," I whispered. I didn't look back I would try and get kicked out sooner then maybe I'll get to see Edward before someone takes him.
I was taken away a year later because they started to beat me. When I got back to the orphanage Edward had been adopted but he left a letter for me. I didn't open it, afraid of what it would say. I cried myself to sleep for three more months just because I missed him. I was harder now I had lost the last person that made me feel good. I came to the conclusion I would never get close to anyone because they would always leave you. I put the letter with the pictures of my parents and said I would never open it until I felt better. I laughed at the thought of me getting better without him, it would never happen and I would miss the boy who probably already forgot me.
It took about seven months before I got shipped off to another foster family. They were nice and I ended up leaving in a year. They just got fed up with me. It went on like that until I turned sixteen and got adopted again and moved to a new town. I was sixteen and lived in seven different foster homes and got kicked out off each of them. The man that adopted me was mean so I knew I was in for a hell of a time.
Thanks for reading tell me what you thought!!! Please review!!! I need to know what you think!! Should Edward be in the same town as her or should she get kicked out of the mean mans home and move in with Edwards foster family?? Tell me what you think!!! Next chapter in Edwards POV I'll try to get it up in a day or two!!! Love you guys thanks for giving the story a chance!!