Do you believe in love?
Author's note:
Although there are other tributes pouring in from around the universe, I just want to pay my heartfelt tribute to a late little brother whose birthday would have been today. His exemplary life was a precious gift to all who were blessed to know and love him. Like Touma Icarus, he flew away as a shining bird toward the endless heaven, leaving many heartbroken. Now, I'm sure he'll protect us like an Angel in his Glory. You'll never be forgotten because you would live in us forever. For you, my little one, who taught us to openly love, I dedicate his story based in Saint Seiya Tenkai Hen Overture.
To write this, I was inspired by the lyrics are from "Do you believe in Shame?" by Duran Duran. I suggest to listen to Saint Seiya Tenkai Hen Overture OST by Seiji Yokoyama, especially "Seiya to Marin", "Sei'iki no Kutou", "Touma to Marin" and "Never".
Do you believe in love?
When you fell on the ground, wounded and bleeding, I rushed to you. Trembling, I hugged you. In my arms, you were my little brother again, the mischievous child who played with me at that humble yet cozy cottage which we called home. Again, you were my sweet and devoted friend.
Many memories came back like a cascade. While doing our chores, we used to talk and discuss so many things. In spite of our need, we fiercely loved our parents. Watching a shooting star, we promised to be at their side until they become old and frail. We were meant to be their protectors forever.
Touma, do you remember me? You told me that nothing would separate us. In fact, nobody could have taken you away from me. We were meant to grow-up, have our families and support our parents. Together, we would have been invincible. I remembered what we used to say: Love can conquer all! Although all our love, we only felt the pain.
We never expected what happened that dark and gloomy day. Those crooks came out of the shadows and attacked our parents. Listening to their screams, we rushed back home but it was too late. Our beloved parents seemed to have drowned in a pool of blood. Those criminals turned to face us and mercilessly hit both of us. Blow after blow, I tried to protect you but my slender body wasn't a proper shield so they got you. I cried out but they didn't stop. My heart was full of rage and hatred. But you whispered softly to me that we should endure this together.
When they left us, you promised me that you'll become stronger to protect me. In response, take an oath, too: to take care for you. Then, I collapsed while your hand joined mine. When I woke up at the hospital, you were gone. I was taken to serve Athena at her Sanctuary in Greece where I was forced to use a mask to hide my femininity and forget my identity, too. But I kept that little pendant with me, the same you were given, Touma. The one our parents bought to us last Christmas. These small bells were meant to sing for love and call for freedom.
Although many years passed by, I never give up looking for you. When I become Eagle Marin, a powerful Silver Saint, I realized that it might be easier to find you. In every mission, I wandered looking for you before coming back to the Sanctuary. When my apprentice Seiya arrived, this stubborn determined kid made me think of you and I longed to hug you again.
With a mix of shock and delight, I realized that you were Artemis' Angel Icarus but the owner of the pendant, too. It was the same pendant that belonged to Touma! I called your name and you faced me. I remembered your eyes, searching mine. So you were my beloved little brother finally found.
However, you rejected me instead of hugging your sister. You mocked feelings and love because they were insignificant for an Angel warrior as you had become. Your blue crystal eyes icily looked at me and your words hit my core. Without hesitation, you said that feelings were useless. Love only weakened the spirit and the body. In the most horrible way, you made fun of all what united us in the past.
I never expected such reaction, Touma. Your blows didn't hurt me as deep as your words. It was devastating that you denied your feelings and our fraternal love. Watching you filled of inhuman pride, I understood how far away you had gone. Being an Angel, you looked down on your fellows and despised your nature. Being a human, you were disregarded by the deities, especially the unreachable goddess Artemis. With such pain in my heart, I drowned into darkness for a while.
When I woke up, Pegasus Seiya was hitting you with his mighty attack. Utterly defeated, you fell down. No matter what you told me before, I rushed to you and held you in my arms. Against all deities, I would be there for you because I love you dearly, my little brother. You know that I've promised you to be at your side. Watching your pale face, I became distressed. I didn't want to think at the slight possibility of losing you. Not now that I had found you at last.
With a big effort, you opened your eyes and stared at me. This time, you didn´t reject me. Although you tried so hard to show all of us that you had become someone stronger, almost a demi-god, there you were beaten and defeated. It seemed that your need to please Artemis had made you regret your human nature and forgot your old promises. But Pegasus' attack had destroyed the fortress built around your heart. The stones which hid your feelings were smashed with the powerful blows and your feelings intensely flooded you. Although the bleeding wounds, you smiled to me like in the old days. You were my brother Touma again.
But his wonderful moment was interrupted by a haunting scene: Artemis wanted to shoot down Athena. While her arrow sped towards her, you jumped before her. When your pierced body fell to the ground, I felt my heart shattered.
No matter how much I screamed and said that everything would be alright, I couldn't bring you back. I was wrong.
Because of your love and respect for Artemis, you didn't hesitate to protect your goddess from her wrongful acts. You didn't want her to face a trial before Zeus. She shouldn't have stained her hands with an Olympian's blood. So, you believe in love, Touma. You sacrificed your life for love, too.
As warriors, we are prepared to fight, live and die. Of course, I'm prepared to die. But I wasn't prepared to lose you. My heart has suffered so much with the Saints' deaths. The Holy Wars had taken so many precious lives so far. Aiolia bravely fought against the Specters who invaded the Sanctuary and was killed. Later, the twelve Gold Saints destroyed the Wailing Wall and sacrificed their lives. However, I don't have the power to bring them back to life. This is so painful because you're dead, too. I lost you afterwards I found you. I could scream aloud and cry but I cannot change it. You're not among the living ones. Right now, you're walking towards the realm of Hades. Nothing would bring you back to me now. I must say that I felt so damn lonely now.
With tenderness, I caressed your face. At the end, you realized your mistake. While you served Artemis, you forgot what your motivation for becoming a mighty warrior was: to protect your beloved ones and among them, your sister Marin.
This truth came too late: I feel so lonely now that you are gone, Touma. You had gone ahead to the Underworld. Unfortunately, I don't need to keep looking for my little brother because he's not to be found in this world. I pray you can reach Elysium.
I would never forget you, Touma. Actually, I treasure the memories of you, the many little things we shared as carefree children in a town far away. Every happy moment would sooth my pain. Now that you're gone, these memories would give me strength to live. In fact, I will keep the pendant as a keepsake of hope and love.
My fear of losing you is gone now. There's nothing I can do to turn back in time. But I kept on saying: Do you believe in love, Touma? If so, be sure that a little part of you which is inside of me will never die!
Although your harsh words, I know your answer to these questions, Touma. You believe in love and because of your deep love, you lived to serve the goddess you worshipped: Artemis, the one who chose you even if she despised humans.
Your last look confirmed me that you never forgot me at all. My brother lived under the Angel's mask and this Glory shielded your body from human weaknesses. But it wasn't able to change your heart. Even though you said that feelings were useless, yours were there, strong and pure. So you were ready to act without hesitation. Your sacrifice saved Athena and humankind. I'm so proud of you.
As you flew to another world, there is a small part of you that lives in me. Our fraternal bond is strong and would not fade. Death shall not take you away from me, Touma. Wherever you are, be sure that you live in me, too. You will never die because I love you, little brother.