and we are all too small to talk to God.
Matt's not exactly a stranger to Mello's overzealous religious habits. The constant praying; the holier-than-thou preaching that he has the tendency to do sometimes. (And it's not as if Mello's even the most saint-like creature in the world...) It's something that Matt sees every day, but it's not exactly something he finds it easy to relate to.
He wants to, though, because the way he feels about Mello could be described as hero-worship and every little boy wants to be like their hero.
But religion is a huge wall between the two boys.
Mello's side of the wall is beautiful and pious; he feels very happy and has no desire to see what Matt's side of the wall looks like.
(Because he would be utterly horrified to see that it's very plain, but that Matt touches the wall and tries to break through it every day.)
Matt often tries to validate his disinterest in God and religion, unsuccessfully most times, but one day, he feels particularly insignificant, and he decides that's the reason why he never prays. Matt makes no difference in the scheme of things-- he's a small, pointless creature, and God probably has bigger things on His mind.
Plus, with someone as amazing and important as Mello praying all the time, Matt's efforts would probably just pale in comparison.
yes, we're all too smart to talk to God.
At the tender age of five, Near-- or, rather, Nate-- said to his mother:
I do not believe in miracles
and from that point forward it was a spiral that took him out of his Sunday school classes and into atheism.
(And then his mother died and Near was never forced to attend another church service ever again.)
But Near thinks about it sometimes, when he's assembling one of his blank puzzles, and he feels very calm because everything is logical; everything goes into place; there's a reason for this, a reason for that, this piece is shaped that way-- that's why it fits...
To Near, puzzles are the only things on Earth that are perfect because they are just pictures where everything fits as it should.
The Earth itself is not perfect-- it is hopelessly flawed. The people inhabiting the Earth are flawed. There's nothing to be proud of and yet people run around praising their absent God for their lives that they know in their hearts are unsatisfying, going nowhere, and he wants to ask them why do they do that?
Because if God is real-- if God is all-knowing-- if God is everything these people claim Him to be-- then He would be smart enough to create a world that wasn't so corrupt.
So Near finishes his puzzle, no thanks to God at all.
notes and stuff: Inspired by Behind the Sea by Panic at the Disco. Wrote this in about... ten minutes. I had a harder time with Matt than I normally do... Because my Matt believes in God, which has been stated in some of my other stuff, but still... I don't know. Complicated child. Review, please!