A/N: So it's been a little bit since I posted anything and this once is a bit different, it could be a little AU and stems from watching Brokeback Mountain way to much. Anyways I hope you enjoy!
The lyrics are taken from Mary Chapin Carpenter's song Only A Dream

I can recall the sound of the wind

As it blew through the trees and the trees would bend

I can recall the smell of the rain

Coming through the screen

"I can't do this anymore Nick."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't be your dirty little secret anymore."

"So you expect me to just let everyone know we're together when I have a girlfriend?"

"You need to choose Nick, either way it's not fair to me or Lisa."

"Oh so now you're the noble one thinking about Lisa."

"I had you first, or did you forget?"

"You know it can't be you Greg…."

"Then maybe I think I need to leave, I just can't…I can't be with you if you don't want to give 100."

"Greg please don't do this."

"Do I even matter to you? What am I to you Nick?"

"You're my friend."

"A friend you fuck, I've seen the ring Nick I know you're going to propose as soon as you come back from Texas."

"Greg…"

"I'll be gone from your life by then, I've already told Grissom I wanted a shift change."

"Don't do this."

"I'm tired of being second best Nick, it's all or nothing."

Nick looked deep into those brown eyes knowing he could fall into forever, knowing he could just say the word and Greg would always be his, but he couldn't form the words.

"Your silence says everything; have a nice life Nick Stokes."

He turned to walk out, but the stopped pivoting around. "But let me tell you one thing she will never make you feel the way I do."

And he grabbed Nick by the shirt crushing their lips together in one last temperature rising kiss. Greg released him roughly and didn't say another word as he walked out the door. Nick heard the door slam shut and he could still feel the kiss burning his lips and he knew Greg was right.

"Oh Nicky that's such a beautiful ring!" Nick's mother exclaimed. "I'm glad you're finally settling down and with Lisa she's such a lovely girl."

"Yeah mom she's the one." The words left his mouth dry because he knew his heart wasn't in it.

"Oh I just can't wait to plan the wedding."

"She hasn't said yes yet mom."

"She will." Jillian Stokes smiled.

I'd crawl in your bed when the lightning flashed

And I'd still be there when the storm had passed

Dead to the world, to the morning cast

It's light all around your room

Sara rubbed her eyes as she opened her door to find a very ragged looking Greg Sanders.

"Greg what's wrong?"

"You were right all along Sara; I should have stopped it a long time ago."

"Oh Greg come here." Sara said as she pulled him into a tight hug. She knew how much Greg loved Nick, lived for Nick and she knew this was killing him.

"I didn't wake Grissom too did I?"

"If you did he'll get over it." She said with a small smile.

"I'm so stupid, I should have left the moment he met Lisa, but he kept coming over, kept seeing me I just thought Lisa was a mistake."

"Maybe she still is."

"No…" Greg shook his head as tears spilled down his cheeks. "He's proposing I've seen the ring, he's serious."

"I'm sorry Greg, I wish there was something I could do."

"It's ok Sara." Greg wiped his eyes. "Do you think Grissom would mind if I slept on your couch?"

"Even if he did mind I would still say yes." Sara smiled softly. "Come on I've got some ice cream let's settle on the couch and watch Lucy."

"You're the best Sara."

"Only the best for my best friend."

Nick was glad to be out of that house, he was tired of hearing his mother and sisters gush when he hadn't even asked Lisa yet. The truth was his heart couldn't take it because all he could think about was the last kiss he had shared with Greg. So he had ended up in some bar an hour away from his house nursing his misery with the help of Jack Daniels.

"Pour me another." Nick told the bartender as he pulled out his wallet.

"That's a right pretty girl you got there son." The voice next to him said and he looked up to see a man probably in his late sixties looking at him.

"Yeah."

"Seems to me though you look happier in the picture next to it." Nick paled and closed his wallet quickly forgetting he had a picture of himself and Greg in it.

"What's it to you?"

"I've been you where are."

"Whatever." Nick snorted and turned away from the crazy old man.

"It ain't easy living a lie is it?"

"You don't know me; you're just some bitter old man sitting in a dingy bar."

"Well let me tell you this bitter old man has been where you are."

"Just go away."

"I bet you and him you had a thing, it's been going on a long time even when she came into the picture." Nick's breath caught in his throat, who was this guy? "I know I'm right."

"You don't know anything."

"Let me tell you a story son, there was once a boy named Jack Twist and one named Ennis Del Mar who met during one unforgettable summer, some say they fell in love, both had other lives but Jack wanted more than what Ennis was willing to give."

"Sounds like Ennis was the smart one."

"Ennis was never the smart one, Jack was right all along."

"So let me guess Ennis told Jack and everything was right in the world and they now have a big house with a white picket fence…"

"Jack died with never knowing how Ennis truly felt about him." The last words were whispered and Nick could see the tears forming in the old man's eyes.

"You're Ennis."

"There are some things in life Nick that are worth taking risks for."

"I don't know if I can." Ennis reached for Nick's discarded wallet and pulled out the two pictures.

"You know what I see here Nick? I see myself and this Greg…is Jack, your own Jack Twist. Don't let it pass you by because it could so easily be taken away from you. If only I hadn't been so stubborn then Jack would be sitting right here next to me…" he paused his voice cracking. "Don't be afraid Nick, don't be afraid to love him don't be foolish like me and be a bitter old man reflecting on what might have been." Nick felt his heart race and he could see the tears in Ennis's eyes, he didn't want that, couldn't even bear the thought of losing Greg of never having told him the real honest to God truth.

"You think about him still?"

"Every day." Ennis gave a small smile. "I'm sure he's loving this me spillin my guts to a stranger, talkin was never one of my strong suits."

"You think he's watching over you?"

"I know he is, fuckin Jack Twist never one to let somethin rest, I know he is and that's what keeps me going until the day we finally meet again and we can have our happy ending. It's not too late for yours Nick."

Nick stared down at the two pictures, the one with Lisa was professional, so forced, but the one with Greg…he closed his eyes and he could see Greg so clearly see his flushed face after they made love, and feel the touch of his skin.

"You're right I'm living a lie…"

"Then stop it now before it gets out of hand, Lisa doesn't deserve this and neither does Greg."

"Thank you Ennis." Nick said his voice full of emotion for the man who had changed his life. "Thank you for opening my eyes."

"Hold onto him Nick and never let go." Nick nodded and stood from the bar he knew what he had to do now. As he made it to the door he stopped, not once did he tell Ennis his name or Greg's for that matter. He turned around, but Ennis was nowhere to be seen.

"Nick you can't be thinking straight, come sit down and we'll talk about this."

"Nothing to talk about mom." Nick said as he continued packing his suit case. "I'm not going to propose to Lisa."

"You came here ready; you showed us the ring, what changed Nick?"

"I did."

"Won't you even tell me why?"

"It'll break your heart."

"You're breaking my heart now!" his mother cried.

"I'm in love with another person."

"Nick honey if you love her…"

"Him." Nick interrupted. "I love him." His mother was silent and he knew this would happen, but for once he didn't care, for once he was following his heart and being happy for himself and not everyone else.

"Are you trying to give your old mother a heart attack? It's not funny Nicholas."

"I'm not laughing."

"Nick honey you can't be serious, to throw away everything you have with Lisa…"

"No mom your wrong, by proposing to Lisa I'll be losing so much more."

"Don't do this to me Nick, your father what is he going to think?"

"Frankly mom I don't care, I'm tired of living a lie, of trying to make others happy instead of myself and I've probably already lost him but I'm going back to Vegas and sure as hell going to try my best to show him how much I love him."

"You're going to throw away this family for a man that might not even love you."

"I know he loves me, but I fucked up, but now is the time to fix it and I'm going to do it whether you approve or not."

"There's nothing I can say that will change your mind?"

"Nothing, I need him in my life someone tonight helped me see that and I'm not going to give up on him, not anymore."

"I can't say that I'm happy Nick, and I know your father is going to be livid."

"And I'm ok with that, I have to go mom I need to make things right."

"You will always be my son Nick, but this is going to take some time to get used to."

"And I understand." Nick nodded. "Goodbye mamma, I love you."

"I love you too Nick, I love you too."

Twirl me about and twirl me around

Let me grow dizzy and fall to the ground

When I look up at you looking down

Say it as only a dream

Nick opened the door to the house he shared with Lisa; taking a deep breath he could do this.

"Nick your home early!" A flustered looking Lisa exclaimed and he could hear rustling about in his bedroom, this could actually work out in his favor.

"Everything ok honey?"

"Fine, just fine."

"Well you better tell your friend to get out so I can lay down I've got jet lag."

"Nick…"

"On second thought he can stay here, I've got somewhere more important to be."

"Please Nick…."

"Bye Lisa." He shut the door behind him and sighed in relief that was much easier than expected.

Greg opened his door and immediately wanted to shut it when he saw who was on the other side.

"What do you want?"

"To talk, I just want to talk."

"You've got five minutes."

"That's more than I was expecting." Nick sighed.

"Time a ticking Nick."

"I know I've caused you nothing but pain and aggravation and you never deserved any of that, you've only deserved the best and I never gave it to you. Being with Lisa was what my family always expected of me, to find the perfect girl and have the perfect family…and well you saw the ring."

"Nick please if this going somewhere get there soon, I don't think my heart can take much more."

"What I'm trying to say is while I was in Texas I realized some things with a little help, I realized that I was tired of doing things for my family and doing nothing for myself. When Lisa came along it was the perfect opportunity to provide this charade that wasn't fair to her or you. I'm tired of living a lie Greg; I'm tired of trying to be the perfect son for a family that I only see maybe twice a year. What I can't do is live without you and I know I deserve nothing from you, but I can't let this moment pass me by I can't go on and be a bitter old man knowing I could have been happy just being with you. I'm in love with you Gregory Hojem Sanders and it's always been you."

"Nick…" Greg's voice was quivering and Nick could see the tears at the corners of his eyes.

"I know it's hard for you to trust me right now but…" Nick walked forward and cupped Greg's face in his hands. "Someone wise told me that I shouldn't give up on you on us when it 

could so easily be taken away, I can't face that Greg, and I can't face losing you. I've made mistakes, tons of them but the one thing I'll never regret is the first time I kissed you do you remember?" Greg nodded unable to speak as the tears coursed down his cheeks.

"It was right after the coroner's inquest and I came over to your house to make sure you were ok and when you answered the door you just looked so worn out and…"

"And you cupped my face in your hands just like you are now and…"

"And I looked into those eyes and saw everything I ever wanted in them and…"
"And then you kissed me."

"And then I kissed you." Nick whispered before bringing his lips to Gregs in a tender kiss that got more passionate by each passing moment as each man clung to other knowing that had almost lost this.

"We're still not perfect yet Nick."

"I know that, but we'll make this work you and I."

"I want to believe you."

"Believe me Greg I'm going to spend the rest of life making you see it." Greg smiled and leaned into Nick's strong embrace.

"I love you."

"I love you forever."

Greg felt at home in Nick's arms and he couldn't believe he came so close to losing this, losing Nick to a life he never wanted, but he was so glad, so glad Nick was back home.

"Nick this stranger what was his name?"

"Ennis."

"Ennis, that's an awful strange name."

"But a very wise man."

"I wish I could meet him, to thank him for knocking some sense into you."

"I think he knows." Nick said as he kissed the top of Greg's forehead. "I think he knows."

"Mmmm, that's good." Greg said as he snuggled further into Nick. Nick just smiled sending a thanks to Ennis knowing wherever he was he was finally with Jack.

Twirl me about and twirl me around

Let me grow dizzy and fall to the ground