Well, the idea to that story came as I listened to the song "The Diary of Jane" by Breaking Benjamin. Lyrics can be found in the story.
Warning ;) … Spoilers for the season 6 finale.
Disclaimer : I don't own any of the characters, and also not the show.
The rights belong to Shonda Rhimes.
Only the idea is mine ;)
A.N. Thanks to my beta reader Katrina J
The moment in which Arizona had her back to Callie and the shooter she thought of what to do.
Immediately she was brought back to the song she had been listening to on her morning run.
Flashback
She was completely out of it when she realized how long she must have been running. Reality came back and she started to listen to the song that was currently playing on her I-pod. As she listened to it, she wondered how well some parts of it fitted to her situation.
If I had toI would put myself right beside you
'Oh, if I only could do that again' Arizona thought. She longed to do that again, but there was still this huge problem between the two of them.
So let me ask Would you like that?
Would you like that?
'Of course would she like to have the good time back" Callie still loved her. She believed deep down that she also meant as much to Callie as Callie meant to her, but the situation seemed so desperate and bad for them.
And I don't mind
If you say this love is the last time So now I'll ask
Do you like that?
Do you like that?
No!
'No!' Arizona wanted to scream. She just knew that Callie had suffered just like her. She saw that every time they occasionally met on the pediatric floor. The music made her run even faster. Her speed increased.
Something's getting in my way
'Yeah, the baby issue gets in the way' The problem, whether or not to have children stood between the lovers and had caused this damn hurt.
Something's just about to break
'Oh man, its so not about to break, it is broken! We're broken, our relationship broke apart, and the break up is just about to completely break me too.' She swallowed hard to fight back the upcoming tears.
I will try to find my place
In the diary of Jane
Arizona's thoughts drifted off again to Callie. What was she doing right now? Considering time and date, maybe she was breaking bones in the OR? 'Stop it, Arizona, stop that thinking about her!' She thought.
So tell me how it should be
Try to find out
What makes you tick
As I lie down
Sore and sick
Arizona felt exactly like the singer had just sung for the last two weeks. Sore and sick. It has been a real hardship for her. The break up nearly killed her deep inside.
Do you like that?
Do you like that?
There's a fine line between love and hate and I don't mind
Just let me say that I like that,
I like that
Something's getting in my way
Something's just about to break I will try to find my place
In the diary of Jane
But how could she do that? She wanted so badly to have a place in Calliopes life, but damn, how? There was this huge difficulty between them and she knew that their relationship has changed forever.
As I burn another page As I look the other way
I still try to find my place In the diary of Jane
So tell me how it should be
Desperate, I will crawl Waiting for so long No love, there's no love
Die for anyone.
Was this the way? She wouldn't die for anyone, actually she never considered it. But for Callie she'd done it in a heartbeat. She knew that for sure.
What have I become?
'What have I become? An emotional wreck.' Confused about all aspects. Damn, she was Arizona Robbins, there couldn't be a problem that she couldn't fix? She was saving tiny humans for Gods sake! Arizona just had to find a way. This confusion in her head annoyed her. She couldn't even work normally. She loved Callie, maybe she had to prove it.
Something's getting in my way
Something's just about to break I will try to find my place
In the diary of Jane
As I burn another page As I look the other way
I still try to find my place In the diary of Jane
End of flashback
"Are you two surgeons?" Mr. Clark asked.
"Listen Mr. Clark, I believe there is a way that..." Callie tried desperately to avoid the unavoidable. Her voice cracked.
Arizona was always a good man in a storm. Hell, she told Callie's dad a while ago that she protected what and who she loved.
Now was the time to prove that. She couldn't just let Callie stay there between her and the shooter and let Callie get shot and killed in order to protect her.
Slowly Arizona rose, luckily it was unnoticed by both Callie and the shooter. Arizona could see clear now. The questions she had had through the song had disappeared. It all made sense now. Her thoughts were totally collected.
"My wife died, because of two damn surgeons like you!" And with that, the shooter pointed his gun towards Callie.
Callie closed her eyes, 'at least I will die protecting someone who I cared for. Arizona, please stay alive, for me.' She thought as she waited the pain she knew would come.
It all happened very fast. To fast for Callie to notice.
As the trigger got pulled Arizona saw her chance. 'I only have one punch, if I fail it was all for nothing' Arizona believed.
As fast as she could she reached for Callie and jostled her aside. Away, out of the firing line so that the bullet couldn't reach her.
The bullet had hit Arizona in the chest. The pain was unbearable, but right now, that moment was her only chance to succeed and she knew that. She threw her hand to the only spot that she could reach to knock him unconscious, his aorta.
Callie couldn't react at all. What had happened? Arizona was behind her, protecting Ruby. Now was she falling to the ground and... Oh my God was she bleeding? How did the gunman got knocked to the ground?
Arizona smiled as she saw from the corner of her eye, that her punch managed to effect like she had wanted to. Now it was Callie's turn to get the police and save Ruby and the other kids. Her part was done. She felt kinda proud if it was possible to feel anything besides the awful pain. She fell hard onto the cold floor. Blood soaking.
Callie's eyes showed the life-threatening fear she felt right now. Fear for her love of life to die, because of protecting her. She knelt down beside Arizona, crying uncontrollably.
As she realized Callie was at her side some lines came to Arizona's mind once again :
Something's getting in my way
'Right, I got in his way, protecting my love, Calliope.'
Something's just about to break
'I don't care, if I break. If it saved her life, than I have luckily sacrificed myself .'
I will try to find my place
In the diary of Jane
'So I find my place, in the diary of Callie. Hoping that she will never forget how I loved her.'
With that realization she had willingly and without hesitant made her way into a fight she knew, she couldn't win. But it was worth it.