A/N: This is for all you guys that wanted me to add another chapter to my Naruto fic, Don't Call Me That. Instead of adding a chapter I just thought I'd do a short sequel.. I can only hope you'll find it almost as entertaining as the first. And once again I will try for the humorous approach. There is a pairing in here but I decided to name it as a mystery pairing to see how many would actually read to find out who it is. Hehe...jk...it's Kakashi/Sakura. :)
Disclaimer: Naruto, friends and all the comic relief doesn't belong to me, although I wish the humor could hang around a little while longer. This is AU, rated mature for pretty strong language, at least I haven't written anything like this in a while, and adult situations, and violence. That's all I need to say, I think.
Aphy: This one's for you, sis:)
What The Hell Did You Just Call Me?
By: nlightnd
Enjoying a relaxing day at home under the sun's warm rays, Sakura heaved a sigh of relief. No missions, no shift at the hospital, no annoying team mates or their sensei bothering her. Everything was perfect. The wind blew gently, birds sang with the perfect pitch and volume; it was a beautiful day. Beautiful and perfect.
"SAKURA-CHAN!"
Startled, Sakura glanced up from her chair, cursing her luck. Damn! Even on my day off they find me and cause trouble! What's their brain damage? Maybe they'd had to many kicks to the head.
The medic-nin, formerly Tsunade-sama's apprentice, felt happy and relaxed until that notorious, loud and obnoxious voice yelled shattering her peace, along with her windows. A blond energetic blur tore through her yard, a gust of wind, running past her; a darker blur right on his heels.
Angrily, she screamed, "Naruto! Sasuke! You two idiots get your asses back here now!" Infuriated by their inconsiderate and thoughtless action, her eyes narrowed, she cracked her knuckles waiting impatiently for the two baka's from her team to drag back in. The duo didn't keep her waiting long.
"Sakura-chan." Naruto giggled, scratching the back of his head. He used the same gesture, time and time again, whever he was in trouble, especially with his pink haired friend. Naruto elbowed Sasuke's stomach and he glared at Naruto while saying coldly, "Sakura."
Crossing her arms over her chest, preparing her formidable strength, she asked them, "What are you two doing running through my yard; yelling and screaming like wild animals? It's my day off! Can't you guys give it a rest?"
Naruto, being the ass kisser he was sighed, "You look really pretty today, Sakura." His blue eyes squinted, trying to get a better glimpse. "Have you put on make-up? You look different. Relaxed. Rested, I'd say. " And Naruto being Naruto never knew when to shut the hell up. "In fact, I think you look like he old cherry blossom we used to know before you went to the hospital and exhausted yourself."
Inner Sakura simmered. Sakura calmly looked at him asking, "What did you just call me?"
Eager for Naruto to get his ass kicked, Sasuke replied, "He called you a cherry blossom. Shit, Sakura, when did you become deaf?"
Inner Sakura erupted pushing the real, living Sakura over the edge. Sakura pulled on her chakra gloves and smirked maliciously as both men muttered, "Oh, shit!" Her green eyes filled with an intent to inflict harsh, physical damage on the morons who referred to themselves as her team mates.
Sasuke and Naruto glanced at each other and took off running; leaving in a trail of dust. Sakura, infuriatedly yelled, "Sasuke, Naruto, come back here you fucking cowards! When I catch you I'm gonna beat the living shit out of you both! Count on it!"
By the time she'd finished hurling her threats into empty air her chest moved rapidly in and out. Instinctively aware her peaceful day was over, Sakura followed in their direction. She'd catch up to them and pay them every blow owed by her promise. Unable to sense their presence, she called out, taunting them, "Ready or not, here I come!"
Genma, Kakashi, Gai, Asuma, Kurenai and Anko sat in one of the local bars enjoying sake and good company. Their peace was also disturbed by Naruto and Sasuke sprinting by and a pissed off Sakura not far behind. Naruto was yelling, "We didn't mean it, Sakura, I swear! Please don't kill us! Come on, it was a joke!" Sasuke wisely stayed silent knowing everything being said would be held against them, so it was better to not say a word.
Pushing herself faster and harder, kunai in hand, she shouted, "I'll show you a fucking joke, Naruto! I'll show you how funny it is when I shove my kunai up your ignorant ass!" Still screaming at the duo, she didn't realize she'd passed her former sensei and his friends sitting in the bar; watching he whole commotion.
"Kakashi, that's your former students, correct?" Asuma took a hit off his cigarette, drawing the nicotine slowly into his lungs. He winced at the force of Sakura's temper, as did most men in the village. She'd absorbed more than training from their ferocious Hokage. Sakura had gained her strength and her infamous temper.
Sighing, the silver haired man grudgingly admitted it was. "Yes. They must be having on off day, again."
"They must have off days often as much as they fight." Kurenai couldn't help but add her two cents in as well.
Anko, stuffing a dango in her mouth said between bites, "Well, I hope she kicks the shit out of them! Men takes us females for weaklings and treat us as less so I say they deserve whatever ass beating they get!" The snake woman, obviously not fond of men, spat her man-hating mini-speech. Finishing her dango treat she threw the sharp stick at Genma; it struck the chair a mere half-inch from his 'equipement'.
"Hey, watch your fucking aim, Anko! Damn, I do have plans for that later, you she-bitch!" Frowning, he jerked the stick from his wooden seat relieved she hadn't anything important that he'd need later. That woman needed to get laid!
Gai could only say, "Ah! The spring of youth erupts into passionate fights which end in sweet peace. Such energy, such power! Their flowers bloom-"
Disgusted, Genma snapped, "Hey, Gai!" The green leotard clad Jounin glanced his way. "Shut the fuck up! We don't wanna hear about springtime or flowers unless someone has an experience with pricking one!"
Kakashi , Asuma and Kurenai stayed quiet unsure what to converse on next.
Until Naruto and Sasuke stopped right outside the door and Naruto asked, "Sasuke, did we lose her?" Black hair hanging in his face, sweat dropping, lungs heaving, he replied breathlessly, "I think so. Damn, dobe! Why did you have to piss her off? You know she hates that name! She about took our heads off not too long ago for that."
Abruptly, their words cut off. "Oh, shit, Sakura-chan!" The sounds of punches and blows erupted; the two reckless, thoughtless, immature Jounin came flying through the door sliding on their backs all the way to the table of former sensei's.
They both stopped right under Kakashi and Genma. Kakashi chuckled saying, "Having a little woman trouble, boys?"
Both of them glared at him. Pushing themselves from the floor, Naruto mumbled, "Yeah, all because Sasuke swore at her and told her she's deaf and I accidentally mentioned that damned name...cherry blossom.
A fist flew from blessing Naruto with a painful upper cut punch. An angry voice hissed, "I heard that you thick-headed son of a bitch!"
Kurenai shood her head in disbelief. These two were supposed to be Jounin, but acted like Genin. "How could either of you be that insensitive?" Her red eyes scolded them as she said, "I take it neither of you learned your lesson yet."
Naruto's blue eyes gleamed wildly. "Yes and no. But it's fun to tease the hell out of her! That's why we do it!" He chuckled as Sakura nailed him with a punch directly on the back of his head. "Ow, Sakura! Watch it or you 're gonna kill someone these days!"
"That's the point, baka!" Sakura, fire in her eyes, hell in her hands, she quickly dealt out the blows each deserved. Afterwards, her eyes and voice calm again she sighed, "After that much exercise I need a drink!"
Kakashi pulled up a chair between him and Genma. "Here, have a seat; we'll get you a drink. All that work would've left me thirsty too." Leaning over to whisper in her ear after she sat, he laughed, "Good job on scaring the hell out of your team mates. We sure enjoyed it!"
"And we made a hundred dollars off it too," added Genma proudly. "You guys need to do it more often and Kakashi and I would be richer!" His brown eyes shone with an eager light. Leaning closer to her, he said, "I heard that Neji and Shikamaru called you cherry blossom the other day."
"What?" Her shout, loud enough to be heard outdoors caused every man within a mile to cover their ears. "What the hell did they call me?"
Laying his hand gently atop hers, he chided the perverted senbon master. "Genma, don't start any shit where there's none. Or I might just tell Sakura what you've been up to."
His expression serious, he stated, "You wouldn't dare!"
"I wouldn't, huh? We'll see?" Kakashi bent over to whisper in her ear. Several moments later, her eyes and mouth and eyes hung open in shock.
"I thought you knew better, Genma!" Rearing back she hit him hard, his chair flipping over and dumping him onto the wooden surface.
"What the hell's that for?"
"You lecherous, immature, prickish man-whore! How dare you?" Her bottom lip tremling, moisture gathering in her eyes, she took Kakashi's hand pulling him to his feet.
"Kakashi, what did you tell her?"
Lightly touching her back he said, "Sakura, go wait for me at the door while I conclude my business here." Willingly, ready to leave, she headed to the door waiting outside for her former teacher.
Back inside, Kakashi bent down to assist Genma in getting up, he teased, "I told her that you'd informed at least half the men in Konoha that you'd bagged her and that you said she'd never take another lover in comparison since you were so damn good." Shrugging, Kakashi shoved aside the lie as he was on his way to achieving what Genma would never get.
"Some friend you are", he muttered.
"Same goes for you trying to ruin her reputation." His eye creased in happiness. "Well, I'm leaving to get a little happy. Ja ne." A puff of smoke and the perverted Jounin hooked on Icha, Icha was gone.
Meanwhile, later on, two confused men stood outside Sakura's house listening to all the moans and groans emanating from it's closed confines. Her voice, husky and sexy called out to the lover locked in with her and his male voice answered.
Sasuke and Naruto simultaneously said, "That'd better not be Genma!"
Suddenly, a loud, lusty cry erupted from the young woman causing her team mates to think her mysterious lover was hurting her instead. Worried, they slipped in the front door, eyebrows sky-high seeing clothing scattered about all over the place. Creeping towards the bedroom, they peeked through the slightly open door. They were so shocked at who was going to town on Sakura they whispered, voices strangulated, "Kakashi? What the fuck?"
Heatedly still screwing each other's brains out, Kakashi called out to them amused by their own perversions. "Are you two gonna stand there all day or join us. Come in, don't be shy."
They freaked at seeing his face in profile. "Holy shit! Kakashi's maskless!" Naruto yelled loudly.
Still refusing to pay them further attention, Sakura moaned Kakashi's name begging for more and he spoke again. "If you're going to stand there then come and make yourselves useful! The water's hot, and so are we!"
His words affected them deeply. In other words...he freaked their asses clean out! His chuckles followed them out the door as Sakura moaned his name, her release quickly claiming him and they fell to the sheets their energy spent.