Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
His eyes were closed, he felt tired. He had spent hours in front of her computer looking for something, anything which would point him towards her, yet he was no closer to the answers he needed. He took a deep breath, trying in vain to reign in that feeling of helplessness.
It had been seven days since he had last seen her, six since he had been rescued, and five since he had learnt that she had exchanged herself for him.
He sucked in another breath and returned to the question which had been plaguing his mind.
How could she have done that to him?
Lifting his hands, he pressed his palms against his eyes, wishing he'd stop seeing it.
The video footage he had retrieved had been grainy, yet his mind kept replaying it in loop, clearly, as if he had been there. He kept seeing her being taken by those brutes. All defiant, smiling to mask her terror.
"You have me. Let him go," she had ordered, voice surprisingly steady.
Then the screen had gone blank. Nothing but snow, leaving him wishing he had never seen those images.
Because… those images implied that his kidnappers had been right.
And they couldn't be. They just could not.
Chloe was still alive. She had to be alive. If she was really gone, he would have felt it, would have felt that void in him, just when he had lost his parents.
He hadn't lost Chloe. He could not have lost her too.
He needed to find her.
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At the familiar whoosh of air, he lowered his hands and turned around on the chair to look at Clark. When the latter shook his head before lowering his eyes, Oliver felt a familiar ache filling him. He swallowed, fighting to keep his face straight as he listened to Clark's detailed report of his findings…
Empty warehouse, no clues… No Chloe.
That had been their only lead. When they had been able to identify the warehouse in the video, he had allowed himself to hope…
But now… They were back to square one.
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"Why did she do it?"
He wanted to understand.
He looked up at Clark, who had stilled at his question. The younger man didn't answer right away. Instead his brow creased, and he soon looked like he was lost in his thoughts.
Silence stretched for a little while before Clark finally spoke.
"She once told me that choosing the greater good was never a sacrifice." Clark started, frown deepening as if that run through his memories had physically hurt him. "She did this because she loves you; she believes in you and wanted to save you."
That hadn't been the answer he had wanted to hear.
She had already saved him, and he had made sure that she'd known it. She had filled that void in him, had given his life a purpose. She should not have given her life away, not for him. He was not worth her sacrifice, would never be worth it.
Again, he covered his eyes with his hands. He could not cry, not in front of Clark.
"I wish she hadn't," he eventually said, his voice hoarse.
"I know."
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Clark had not been expecting that question. Why had she done it? The answer had been obvious to him. But he had soon realised that it wasn't what Oliver was looking for. Oliver needed comfort, needed some peace of mind, needed to feel like he had not been the reason why Chloe had decided to sacrifice herself.
But he could not give him that.
When Chloe had left with Doomsday, he had been thrown in a similar predicament. He had felt angry, guilty and betrayed because she had felt compelled to abandon his side, because somehow, by having her in his life, he had forced her to choose Doomsday over him.
It had been easy to leave her after the whole fiasco, to keep her on the sidelines when he had come back. A part of him had resented her, but he now understood that he had been wrong all along.
She had just done the same for Oliver. She had chosen to give her life away because, for a reason unknown to him, she had always believed that they had been worth her life.
She had wanted to save him then, like she had wanted to save Oliver.
And he could only give Oliver the truth.
"She once told me that choosing the greater good was never a sacrifice," he started, throat constricting as he remembered that particular phone conversation. "She did this because she loves you; she believes in you and wanted to save you."
He watched as Oliver brought his hands to his face, but soon looked away, feeling like he was intruding in some way.
"I wish she hadn't," he heard Oliver say with so much grief that for a moment, he felt like reminding him that she was still alive. But he himself was no longer sure about that.
"I know," he settled on saying.
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Two days later, when Clark sped to the Watchtower, he was surprised to find Oliver cleanly shaven, with no hint of red in his eyes. He didn't comment on it though, only asked about the reason he had called him.
"I have a lead," the blond exclaimed.
Clark only listened as the latter told him about the 'Suicide Squad', how he had come to the conclusion that they had information on those who had held him captive. Oliver had planned on infiltrating them, of gaining their trust by revealing Green Arrow's identity to them and eventually using whatever information they had to find Chloe.
That had been a crazy and reckless plan, but Clark had not had the heart of interrupting him. He had not seen him so alive since Chloe's disappearance.
"Oliver, I can't let you do that," he finally forced himself to state, when an anxious Oliver eventually asked for his opinion on the plan. "It's too reckless; you're going to get yourself killed."
"So you'd rather wait until she's the one who's killed? Isn't she supposed to be your best friend?"
Oliver's jaw was clenched, and he had to remind himself that it was Oliver's anger speaking. He had been just like him before his training with Jor-El. But he could no longer allow his feelings to have free reign over his actions. Not even his feelings for Chloe.
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Oliver regretted the words as soon as they had escaped his lips. He saw the pain etched on Clark's face, and how the younger man had recoiled as if his words had been laced with kryptonite.
He knew that Clark Kent had been hurting. Chloe had always been an important person in Clark's life. Despite their friendship being a little strained during that past year, he knew that Clark still cared for her. They both had history, had shared more than what he had ever shared with Chloe.
He should not have latched out on Clark like that.
"I'm sorry," he said softly, running a hand over his face. "I just need to find her."
"I know," Clark nodded, and looked away. "But I can't let you do this alone."
"What do you mean?"
"I'll go with you. They might be more interested if The Blur's also stepping out of the shadows."
Oliver shook his head and sighed.
"You can't, Clark."
"Look Oliver, she's still my best friend and – "
"No, you really can't, Clark," he said, interrupting him. Going on with his plan meant that he'd probably have to cross some lines, lines which Clark should not be forced to cross. "Metropolis needs you."
"I could still…"
Oliver shook his head and smiled sadly at Clark.
"What about your job or the farm? What about Lois?"
Clark looked down at his feet.
"She's still on her assignment in Egypt… She - "
"You can't be gone when she comes back. You have to let her know that I'm doing everything to find her cousin. I'll definitely find Chloe."
"Your plan is still too – "
"I'm a big guy, Boyscout. I can take care of myself," he smiled at Clark who frowned at the use of his code name.
"You know that I have your back, right?" Clark eventually settled on saying.
Oliver nodded. "I know."
OK, it's done. I really don't like this fic, and only posted it because my sis said it was kinda okay. It's been really hard for me to write Clark. So I think he might be really OOC, I don't know. And yeah, the fic might be a little confusing with all the changing POVs... Sorry...
Thanks for reading. I wrote this for KC, based on something she wanted to read. Unfortunately, I know I didn't do her idea justice... So if you're a writer, and want to write about why Ollie's the only one who's looking for Chloe without making Clark look like a douche for ditching his friends, I'd really love to read your fic! Thanks! :D