Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or anything else related to the show. (BTW, if I did, Grissom and Sara's relationship would still be between just them and us and Warrick would still be in the diner with Nick.)

A/N: Story is set shortly after 8x07 'Goodbye and Good Luck' .

Summary: It was time to talk about it, but who could he turn to?

Call It What You Want To

When Gil Grissom woke up that afternoon, he was relieved it was his night off. For the first time in weeks, he was going to take it. He had something he had to do.

Heather Kessler had just walked in her door, when her phone rang. She thought her eyes were deceiving her as she looked at the caller id.

"Hello, Grissom."

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This had seemed like a perfectly good idea an hour ago. Calm down, Gilbert, he thought to himself. It is still a good idea. For the first time in your invisible life, you are going to do something for yourself, just to make yourself feel better, even if only for a little while.

Heather welcomed him into her home with a smile. She was undoubtedly curious what has brought him here. But curiosity would have to wait. This beaten down looking man, her friend, had not come to her easily. It was up to her to make sure he didn't leave looking the same way. This evening was going at his pace, that was something she now knew for sure.

After the tea had been served, small talk began. Gil seemed genuinely interested in how Heather had been doing, as he is a natural enabler, this made sense. Heather was thrilled he asked about her new career, as a consultant to women business owners, and her relationship with her granddaughter. The granddaughter he had been instrumental in helping her meet. Gil listened, but was silent when she finished telling of her granddaughters' latest antics. So, Heather thought to herself, small talk is over. The silence reigning for the last twenty minutes did not bother her, she would wait for him.

She said nothing as he got up to stand and look out the window at the gardens. Finally, he spoke.

"My whole life, I've been virtually unknown,...I've made myself invisible. People see what I want them to see, and no more. Work is different, to be known in that world, has been my goal. But the rest..." His voice trailed off, as he looked back at her. She nodded in understanding. He turned back to the window, and began again.

"Nearly ten years ago, I was invited to give a four day lecture series at the Forensic Academy Conference. That year it was in San Francisco, which I happen to like a great deal. The department encourages that behavior, so I went. I actually enjoy students, watching them 'get it' so to speak. The first day, there must have been seventy five or so participants, but it was her eyes that found mine. Or mine that found hers, I should say."

Heather said nothing as she watched her friend remember. The wistful look on his face told her everything she needed to know: Gil Grissom was hurting, likely because of a woman. Now, that's one woman I would like to meet, she thought. When he began talking again, she realized, in a way, she was about to.

"The entire lecture I found my eyes coming back to hers. They were actually interested in what I was saying. I found myself hoping she had signed up for my other lectures. Afterward, I was getting my gear together, she came up and introduced herself."

"How did that make you feel?" Heather didn't want to interrupt, but she wanted to know.

"It's not uncommon for students to come up after a lecture. They usually want to chit chat or tell you how they would love to come and work for you, blah, blah..." Gil explained.

"Is that what she did?" Heather asked.

"No, she had a few additional questions about the lecture. That's when I realized she was working up to something."

"What was that?" Heather asked.

"She asked me to dinner. I wanted to say no, but... when I looked in her eyes, I found myself saying yes, like I couldn't help it. I wanted to keep talking with her."

Heather was intrigued watching her friend recall what was obviously a big event in his life, he was almost smiling. She was silent, she wanted him to continue.

"I had a couple of realizations that night. During dinner, listening to her speak about her love for science, it occurred to me. This woman was my worst nightmare: beautiful, smart, mysterious, and..." He stopped, that wistful look on his face again.

"And what?" Heather blurted.

"Young. She seemed so young, she actually had a ponytail." He stopped, glancing at Heather briefly before looking back out the window.

Having composed herself after her outburst, Heather pondered this. This woman had captured Gil's attention, mentally and physically. Captured it to the point he was here now. What was prompting him all this? Since he had grown silent again, she had to ask.

"What was your other realization that night?" Heather asked.

"After dinner, I was walking her to her car. When we got there she thanked me for the company and promised not to ask too many questions the next day. Just before she got into the car..."

"You kissed her?" Heather asked, knowing it might be difficult for him to say.

"What! No. No. Worse. I looked into her eyes, and everything unknown, became known. It was like she was looking at my soul."