This isn't mine. Fortunately, it also bears very little resemblance to the world of JKR.

Honestly, Hermione!

"You coming, Hermione?"

Hermione flashed a distracted smile in Ron's general direction before returning her attention to her overflowing book bag. "Just go on, I'll see you at lunch."

Ron continued to stand beside her desk, his hands shoved deep in his pockets, his face a picture of concern. Behind her, she heard Harry shuffle his feet before clearing his throat awkwardly. "Erm, we'll wait. Won't we?"

"Huh? Yeah. Can we … help?"

Hermione rolled her eyes and sighed. Looking up, she fixed a stern gaze on first Harry, then Ron. "Don't be ridiculous. I'll be along once I repack this. I won't be a moment."

The boys continued to hesitate, but when Hermione pointed imperiously at the door their shoulders slumped in resignation. With a meaningful glance at Ron, Harry shrugged and headed for the hallway.

"Don't be long," Ron muttered, leaning over the desk. "I - we'll save you some food." Hermione nodded her thanks and waited until he disappeared through the doorway before leaning back and sighing with relief. She shook her head as if to clear it and turned her attention to the front of the room to study the only other occupant.

The other girls in her class would mock her if they could read her thoughts, but she could hardly expect them to understand. The week before Parvati had described the man as 'distinctly odd;' Lavender had been less generous and called him ugly. Hermione shook her head in disbelief at the memory.

She felt her breath quicken as she watched him tidy up his podium. Hermione bit her lip when he reached up to clear the last of the chalk from the blackboard, and his robes stretched taut across his shoulders.

"Professor?" she breathed, her voice barely above a whisper. The man at the front of the room didn't turn, so Hermione pasted a seductive smile on her face and tried again.

"Oh, professor?"

Professor Flitwick started at the sound of her voice and whirled around. "Miss Granger!" he squeaked, "shouldn't you be at lunch?"

"I … wasn't hungry." Plucking up her courage, Hermione rose from her seat and began weaving her way through the desks toward the front of the room. "I really, really wanted to talk to you professor."

Something in her voice seemed to startle the little man and he gave an involuntary step backward. "Can – can it wait until our next class, Miss Granger? I'm really quite busy …"

"No!" Hermione responded sharply, then caught herself and continued in a lower tone, "I think it's now or never."

The tiny man took another step backward and gave a yelp of surprise as he tumbled off his step stool and onto the floor.

"Oh! Professor Flit – Filius!" Hermione broke into a trot and dropped to her knees beside Flitwick's prone form. "Are you hurt, can I help?"

"Quite alright, Miss Granger. Quite alright. Now, if you'll excuse me …" the man struggled to get to his feet, but Hermione placed a hand on his chest and pushed him back to the floor.

"Are you sure there isn't anything I can do?" she purred, "I really am quite clever."

Professor Flitwick squeaked in what might have been terror as Hermione leaned toward him, gazing intently into his eyes. Hermione bent her head down and let her eyes flutter closed, her lips soft and expectant.

The clatter of the desks and chairs being haphazardly shoved aside caused her eyes to fly open again and her head to jerk up. Harry and Ron were stalking up the aisle toward her, twin expressions of exasperation on their faces.

"Really, Hermione? Again?" Harry hissed as he reached her side and firmly grasped her elbow.

"Sorry Professor," Ron apologized as he seized her other arm and helped Harry haul her to feet. "We were afraid something like this might happen."

"Wha – what's wrong with her?"

"We don't know, yet," Harry sighed, "but we're looking into it."

"There's nothing wrong with me!" Hermione began indignantly, but Ron clapped a hand over her mouth.

"Whatever it is, she's gone completely mental," Ron volunteered. "Been going on for awhile now."

"This is completely out of character for her," Flitwick agreed, "a love potion, do you think?"

"Maybe," Ron snorted, "but it's not a very good one. Last week she tried to snog Harry," at this, Harry flushed crimson, "the week before she had Malfoy cornered. He was almost crying before we managed to pull her off of him."

Harry shook his head and started dragging Hermione toward the door, "Who's next, do you reckon? Snape?"

"Not likely!" Ron grinned as they pushed Hermione out into the hallway and steered her toward the Great Hall.

Hermione's eyes shone with a strange light, and her mouth moved silently. Worshipfully. "Snape!"