Rating: Mature (explicit)

Mature Language Note: This is a love story, and it makes use of real sexual words, not crude porn language or childish words. You will see words such as penis and clitoris in this story, though also older references such as manhood. If this type of language upsets you, then I assume that you're either not mature enough to engage in activities involving them, or that you have some hang-ups that makes me question if you should read Mature rated stories. These words are as beautiful as the actual body parts and should be treated with the same respect and awe. That's my opinion, and that is my feeling behind using them in the story.

Spoilers: all seasons.

Summary: This story was written in response to a request for a "first time story" with an inexperienced Matthew and Mary as a teacher. Personally I don't think that Matthew is a virgin (I mean he's been at war, and he's almost thirty years old), but in this story I assumed that he was :)

Special thank you to the lovely Tambear for catching missing commas, odd grammar

and offering excellent suggestions & advice!

…

…

Wedding Night Demons

Matthew Crawley was brooding and he knew it. He sipped his cognac and sighed.

"What's the matter Crawley?"

Matthew looked at Andrew Stewart, his best man and old friend from university.

"Nothing," Matthew said glumly.

"You're getting married tomorrow," Andrew teased and grinned widely. "Wedding night," he whispered.

"Um, yes… ah, well," Matthew muttered and ran his hand over his face.

"Are you nervous?" Andrew asked, eyeing Matthew carefully.

"Of course I am. It's the first time we'll be together as man and wife."

"Have you…" Andrew lowered his voice. "been with a woman?"

Matthew blushed and sipped his drink again. Andrew leaned back in his chair nodding slowly.

"I never could," Matthew muttered and shot Andrew a glance. "I never found anyone I felt the need or desire to be with."

"Until now," Andrew added with a smile. "Don't worry so much Crawley. She knows just as little as you."

Matthew took another sip of his cognac, staring into the fire. That really was the reason for his dark mood, she did know more than him. Of course it was impossible for him to tell Andrew that, so he just kept quiet.

"Crawley," Andrew said in a hushed voice. "Just try to stay calm. She might be really nervous, scared even. Women know that it hurts to be intimate with their husband at first. Try to take your time, all right?"

Matthew nodded. "I know that."

Andrew smiled and leaned closer grabbing Matthew's shoulder. "You know, no one is really good at it in the beginning. It takes some time to learn what works. I know you love her, and she definitely loves you so I'm sure you'll be very considerate towards each other."

"Of course," Matthew said and stared at Andrew. "It's just that I don't want her to think me an ignorant fool."

"She won't." Andrew chuckled and his eyes twinkled. Matthew braced himself for what his outspoken friend would say next. "Do you look forward to touching her? Having her touch you?"

Matthew swallowed hard, suddenly feeling warm, and nodded. "Yes."

"Women like being touched. Sometimes I think they like that more than the rest."

Matthew filed this away as good advice. Touching he could do that he knew for certain.

Andrew patted Matthew's shoulder. "Get some rest, Crawley. It would not do you any good if you pass out from lack of sleep."

Matthew laughed and nodded. He looked up at Andrew. "Thank you. You're a good friend."

Andrew smiled and nodded.

.

Matthew looked at himself in the mirror. He was alone in his dressing room. He glanced at the door for a moment, the door that separated him from his wife of only a few hours. He could hear her move around in there, and then a creaking noise. She was in bed.

Matthew's heart beat a little faster at the thought. He tied the robe a bit tighter around himself. This was it. No way of escaping, or prolonging it. With a determined nod he turned the handle and stepped into the bedroom.

"There you are," Mary said and smiled at him. "I almost thought that you had forgotten about me."

Matthew chuckled and crossed the room. "Oh course not. How could I ever forget about marrying the most beautiful woman in England?"

Mary smiled at him and held out her hand. "Come here. I've been looking forward to sleeping next to you for such a long time I don't think I can stand even another minute apart from you."

He shed his robe and slipped between the sheets, facing her. She was smiling and more beautiful than ever. Her long dark hair fell in soft waves over the pillow below her head. Matthew gently twirled a lock of her hair around his finger.

"I've never really touched your hair before," he said in a whispered astonishment at its softness.

"I guess I'm at an advantage then since I've touched yours," Mary teased, her eyes twinkling.

The comment which was meant to amuse backfired when Matthew was again reminded of their differences in experience. He sighed and let go of her hair. Mary gently touched his hand and smiled at him.

"What is it?" she asked softly.

"Nothing darling," he said and smiled at her, stroking her hand.

Mary studied his face, noticing the slightly furrowed brow and his thoughtful eyes. As if realizing something, she pressed his hand against her breast. Matthew's eyes widened and he let out a little gasp.

"Matthew," she said very gently. "Have you done this before?"

Matthew clenched his jaw. Of course she could tell. He felt angry and humiliated and rolled onto his back with a frustrated sigh. Mary sat up and smiled at him. She touched his shoulder and he looked at her. His eyebrows shot up in surprise when she got out of bed.

"What..?"

"Come here," she said and smiled, holding out her hands to him.

Matthew cautiously got out and walked around the bed to where she was standing in the middle of the room. He blushed a little at the sight of her in the almost sheer nightgown. The light fell in a way so that her body was silhouetted through it. He quickly raised his eyes to meet hers.

"Why…" His question was cut off by her gentle fingers on his lips.

"Please listen to me, Matthew," she said and took his hands. She looked over at the bed and then met his eyes again. "The reason we are standing here is because of what I intend to tell you. You promised me that he would never come between us, or that you would bring him up in an argument, but I sense his ghost here tonight so very strongly."

"Oh Mary," he whispered and closed his eyes.

"Our bed is exactly that, ours. I don't want him anywhere near it. He brought so much grief into my life, and yours. Without him, you and I would have married years ago. I know it. Still it does not do us any good to dwell over what might have been."

"I love you," he said sincerely and it made her smile.

"I know, and I love you too, so very, very much. You're the only man I've ever loved, Matthew. I hope you know that."

"I do," he said and his thoughts briefly strayed to Carlisle, thinking of how close she had come to a loveless marriage.

"What happened all those years ago was lust. Some of it was enjoyable, some of it not. Yes he taught me some things, things that I want to share with you, not because of him, but because I want to touch you that way, I want you to touch me that way. The only thing that I am grateful about from that night is that what he did makes it possible for you and me to share tonight without pain."

Matthew swallowed and nodded. He felt arousal stir inside him and a strong response between his legs to her words.

"I don't care that we are not equals tonight," she said and cupped his cheek. "We cannot change it even if we tried. That night with him I was scared and also I suppose, filled with rebellious excitement, but never love. Tonight is so very different. I want to love you, and I want to feel your love and passion for me. I want to learn everything about your body, and yes I know that is not very ladylike to say, but it is the truth."

He chuckled and nodded. "I want that too."

"I've seen your body before, but I've never been allowed to touch it with passion; with love, yes, but never with passion. I want you to touch me. I want to share all the special places on me that make my heart pound when you touch them."

"God Mary," he sighed. "How I want to."

"I am yours, Matthew. And you're mine."

He pulled her close and just held her tightly against him. When she stirred he pulled back and kissed her. She pushed her hand into his hair and stroked the back of his head, bringing him closer. He groaned when he felt the tip of her tongue stroke over his lower lip, then flick teasingly against the other one. When his lips separated he felt her pointy little tongue search for his and he tentatively touched it. They both gasped at the sensation and he felt her tremble. She pulled away and smiled at him.

"When I get back into our bed I want only to bring my husband with me," she said with a gentle smile.

He nodded. "Thank you."

"For tonight… will you let me lead in this dance, darling?" she whispered.

Matthew met her eyes. They were so dark and filled with something he had never seen before. She almost looked wild and it stirred new and strange emotions deep inside him. He nodded, suddenly eager to find out what she wanted to do to him.

"Then please help me remove my nightgown," she said huskily and stepped closer to him.

Matthew took a deep breath as she placed his hands on her hips. He stroked his fingers over the soft material of her nightdress, feeling the warmth from her body through it. He met her eyes as he slowly pulled the material up higher.

"Look at me, Matthew," she whispered. "I want you to see me, all of me."

Matthew nodded and his eyes turned downward to the hem of the nightgown. He inched it up, revealing more and more of her slender legs. He sighed in admiration of her beauty. When her private area came into view, covered in a patch of dark hair he felt lightheaded and his hands trembled.

"So beautiful," he whispered.

Mary smiled and raised her arms. Matthew was not ready to pull it off her quite yet. He wanted to savor this experience of seeing her for the first time. He bunched the nightgown in his left hand and placed his palm on her hip, stroking lightly, pushing the fabric up higher. She sighed and her head fell back, her dark hair cascading over her shoulders. He stroked her stomach with his thumb and then placed his other hand on her too. He caressed and familiarized himself with her feminine curves. When ready, he pushed higher and felt the softness of her breasts against his thumbs. She hissed and trembled in anticipation. He moved his hands to the side and she raised her arms again. He grabbed the fabric and moved it up.

"Perfection, absolute perfection," he said in astonishment at the sight of her breasts.

Mary giggled and he remembered that she was waiting for him to remove the nightgown the rest of the way. He eased it off her and dropped it on the floor. She stood still, just smiling at him. After a long moment she stepped closer and placed her palms on his chest, stroking lightly. Her eyes met his again as she slowly unbuttoned his pajamas. He shook his shoulders to help her ease it off him. When her hands settled on his hips he swallowed and held her gaze. She smiled and kissed him as she pushed his pajama bottoms down. He gasped against her lips as his manhood rubbed against the elastic before springing free. She giggled in understanding and he pulled her closer as he stepped out of the last piece of clothing.

"I have seen all of you, Matthew," she whispered. "Except for the most intimate parts."

He gasped when she moved her hand to stroke lightly over him. She was barely touching him with the tips of her fingers but oh how he could feel it.

"God!" he gasped and stared at her.

She let go of him and took his hands. Slowly walking backwards towards the bed she pulled him with her.

"Come," she whispered.

Her voice was so soft, yet it beckoned him like a siren. He was unable to resist her. His breath caught when he finally accepted that he did not have to resist her any more. She was his wife. This was theirs to share forever. The implications had his heart beating rapidly and he stretched out on the bed next to her.

"You're so beautiful I'm almost afraid of touching you," he confessed.

"I want you to, Matthew," she said just as softly. "I've waited so long to have you touch me as a lover."

Her words made him brave and he placed his hand on her hip, just resting it there for a moment. She was on her back, leaning against the pillows. Remembering Andrew's advice he started to move his hand over her. She sighed softly and he smiled at her. She enjoyed his touch.

Matthew caressed her legs and hips, again stroking her stomach with his thumb. This time he noticed that her side rippled a little when he stroked there. He did it again and the same thing happened. Mary made a soft little noise and he looked up at her.

"Did you like that?" he asked.

"I did," she said and gave him a hooded look that drew a chuckle from him.

He bent his head and kissed the spot. She ran her fingers through his hair as he brushed his lips over this new discovery. When she tugged a little at his hair he looked up at her. She placed her hand on top of his and pulled it up until he was holding her breast. He sighed, amazed at the incredible softness.

"Touch me," she whispered.

He rubbed his thumb against the side, then moved his palm over the soft mound. She moaned and he felt the nipple poke him a bit harder. He did it again and she sighed. Very softly he kissed the side of her breast. He was still cupping it, his thumb resting next to the nipple. She very gently moved his hand so his thumb instead pressed against the nipple.

"It feels very good when you rub and roll it," she whispered.

Intrigued, he followed her directions and her back arched as his action drew a long groan out of her. He rolled the nipple between his fingers and pulled a little at it. This caused another moan from her.

"Use your mouth," she gasped.

Oh how he wanted to. He kissed the side again and then brushed his lips over the nipple. She whimpered softly and he felt so proud at being able to make her feel like this. He kissed the nipple and she sighed. Her hand returned to his hair and she pressed his face against her. He gasped at the feeling and then her nipple was in his mouth. She mewled and trembled. He tentatively touched his tongue to it and she whimpered, her fingers tightening in his hair. He did it again and closed his lips around the nipple.

"Oh God!" she groaned and trembled in his arms. "So good."

Matthew sucked and licked the pink little tip. Mary sighed and moved under him, clearly enjoying his touch. He glanced at the other nipple noticing that it looked a bit different, softer. Letting go of the stiff tip in his mouth he leaned over to take the other one in his mouth.

"Yes, oh please, yes," she gasped.

Matthew smiled around the nipple at her vocal response. He had never really thought about what a woman would say or do when intimate with a man. Somehow it surprised him that she voiced her pleasure and need. He also noticed that the sound of her voice did some very pleasant things to his body.

Mary was tingling with pleasure. His mouth felt so good. It was different from the other time. Her other lover had been much rougher. Matthew's slow and gentle touch made her body ache for more. Pulling herself out of her dizzy haze of pleasure she touched his cheek. He let go of her nipple and looked up at her. She smiled at the look of amazement on his face, and noticed his slightly fuller lips. She pulled him up and kissed him, slipping her tongue between his lips. This time he met her and they moaned as their tongues stroked against each other.

Matthew rolled over on his back when she gently pushed on his shoulder. Curious, he smiled at her. She grinned and kissed him. He closed his eyes and stroked her back as she brushed her lips down his neck, nibbling and licking softly. Her soft hands moved over his chest and her lips followed. He looked down at her and their eyes met. She smiled at him.

"My Perseus," she whispered and brushed her lips over a scar on his chest. "Scarred in the heat of battle, yet spared and returned to me."

He gasped as she traced the markings on him with her tongue. He watched in fascination how she moved lower, kissing his stomach, tracing his navel, licking his hip bone. He was shaking now from the intensity of her touch. Yet she had not touched his manhood again. He held his breath as she turned her head to look at him.

"Impressive," she whispered. Matthew moaned as her warm breath ghosted over him. "Like a god."

He willed his eyes to stay open, curious to what she would do next. He cried out when her slender fingers closed around him. His cheeks flushed in embarrassment for voicing his pleasure in such an animalistic way. She just smiled at him, apparently pleased with his response. He took a few deep breaths and then moaned again when she slowly moved her hand over him.

"Dear God, Mary," he gasped.

He felt himself swell almost to the point of painful. He closed his eyes tightly, fighting to keep control. Then he felt something incredibly soft and wet on him. He groaned with pleasure and his eyes opened in shock. Matthew stared at her as she loved him with her mouth. He could not talk, only gasp and moan as her soft lips and silky tongue moved over him. His body shook and he felt tears in his eyes, it felt so good. He was hot, out of breath, gasping for air, and he never wanted it to stop. Unfortunately her lovely actions were bringing on his release. He felt it approach full force and fought hard to keep it at bay.

"Mary!" he gasped and grabbed her arm.

She pulled off him leaving him wet and shiny. He let out a deep sigh of relief as he felt the passion subside a little.

"Good lord," he whispered and swallowed hard. "I would never have guessed, never even thought to ask."

"I know," she whispered. "I'm sure it is terribly inappropriate for a lady, but I really wanted to try."

"You're never done that before?" he asked, surprised.

She shook her head. "The mere thought of it was utterly repulsive." She smiled and kissed him. "But not with you. I love all of you."

Matthew's head was spinning. She had just experienced something new, with him. The thought warmed him and eased his worries. They had still things to discover together. He turned his head and smiled at her.

"What about you?" he whispered and stroked her hip. "What do you like?"

"Touch me with your hand," she whispered and placed his hand on her mound.

Matthew swallowed nervously as he felt the soft hair under his palm. He watched in fascination when she moved her legs. His nostrils flared as he inhaled her scent for the first time. He moved his hand lower and gasped when his fingers were instantly coated in her essence. He stroked very lightly over her. She sighed and smiled.

"Deeper," she whispered.

He pressed his fingers firmly against her and her folds opened. She was so hot and wet he felt lightheaded at this new experience. He glanced down to where he was touching her.

"May I.." he met her eyes again. "May I look at you?"

"Please," she said and gasped when he stroked over her again.

Letting go of her he moved to kneel between her legs. He gently pushed on her raised knees, opening her wider. Matthew gazed down at her in wonder.

"So beautiful," he said.

"Please touch me," she whispered.

He ran his finger over her soft folds, stroking all over, familiarizing himself with her. Every time he touched the spot at the top she gasped. He smiled and rubbed it softly. She cried out and shook. He kept stroking it and she whimpered and sighed. To his surprise he felt more of her essence. Letting go of her he raised his hand to his lips and tasted it. His eyes widened at the pleasantness of it. A soft chuckle made him grin impishly at her.

"I wanted to know what your essence tasted like," he said, a little embarrassed at admitting it.

"I'm glad that you did. Was it enjoyable?" she asked and stroked his fingers that were resting on her stomach.

"Very," he said quickly.

Mary laughed and squeezed his hand. "Then perhaps you would consider using your mouth instead of your hand?"

His eyes widened again at the thought of it. "You would let me do that?"

She nodded. "I would."

Matthew lowered himself and moved closer to her. With gentle fingers he opened her folds and kissed the pink flesh. She whimpered and trembled at the intensity of it. He kissed her again and brushed his lips over that little spot. She pushed against him, clearly enjoying it.

"Use your tongue," she whispered very softly.

Matthew grinned and stroked his tongue over the spot. She cried out and her hips shot off the bed. He almost laughed at her reaction but instead kept his lips firmly against her as he kept licking her. Mary was making all sorts of little sounds now. He felt so proud that he was the one making her feel like this.

"Fingers," she gasped.

Unsure what she was asking he stroked his finger up and down, rubbing the side of that little spot that he was still licking and sucking on. He looked up when he felt her hand on his wrist. Their eyes met and he let her move his hand further down. His jaw fell when she pushed two of his fingers inside her a little. He was for the first time connected with her body.

"You won't hurt me," she whispered.

He nodded and slowly pushed his fingers inside her. She groaned and pushed against him. He slowly eased his fingers out and then back inside. She sighed and smiled blissfully. Matthew resumed his stroking of her little spot while slowly sliding his fingers in and out. Mary was trembling more and gasping. Then she let out a sharp yell and her body stiffened. He could feel her clench hard around his fingers and he stilled his hand. She was pressing his face against her so he kept stroking his tongue over her. When she let out a deep sigh and shuddered before relaxing, he pulled away.

"Dear God Matthew," she gasped and smiled. "You are very good at that."

Matthew laughed and slowly slipped his fingers out of her. She trembled again. He knelt between her legs just watching her for a moment, gently caressing her thighs. She grinned and stroked his arm, then took his hand pulling him down.

"Your turn," she whispered against his lips.

Matthew moaned as her fingers found him, stroking gently over him, rubbing him against her wet folds. She felt hot against him and he started to shake. He felt her pull her knees up higher and their eyes met. She guided him to her entrance and nodded. Very slowly he lowered himself. He gasped as her soft wetness surrounded him. She moaned and her grip on his arm tightened.

"Am I hurting you?" he asked alarmed and froze.

"No, darling," she said and smiled. "You're just bigger and it is a very powerful feeling."

"I could not agree more," he gasped.

She curled her legs around him, mindful of his back. As her legs tightened around him he lowered himself all the way until he was completely surrounded by her. She trembled and sighed. He kissed her parted lips and she held him tightly against her.

Matthew gritted his teeth fighting his release. She felt incredible. His eyes opened when she moved her hips against him. He felt himself slide out a little and he understood her silent request. Holding himself up he slowly eased out of her and then slid back inside. He groaned at the sheer pleasure of it. She stroked his face, his neck, and then wrapped her arms around him as they found their pace. After a moment she pushed harder against him and he quickened his pace. She whimpered and he felt her pulse around him.

"God Mary," he gasped.

She laughed with joy and he pushed into her faster and deeper. She whimpered and dug her nails into his back. He cried out as it surprisingly increased his pleasure. She tightened around him and he groaned with pleasure. He was hot, her body felt like molten lava around him. Then his release surged to the surface and he could not hold back any longer. He cried out as he pushed into her, emitting deep inside. She whimpered and he opened his eyes, gazing at her. Her eyes were still closed and she was breathing heavy, trembling under him. He moved a little and pressed his fingers against her folds. Her eyes flew open and she gasped. Their eyes met and he arched an eyebrow in question as he stroked over her. She nodded and his fingers danced over her. He tentatively moved a little inside her, still firm enough to remain inside her. She whimpered and he did it again. She started to squeeze him again and she was gasping, tossing her head to the side. He changed to circle her little spot with his thumb, pressing down firmer. She let out a cry and then tightened so hard around him. The feeling stirred passion inside him and he felt himself get firm again. He kept stoking her through her release as he pushed into her fast.

"Mary!" he yelled as he emitted inside her again.

His body shook and he rolled to the side with her still around him. He pulled her closer, unwilling to let go of her just yet. He knew that it was inevitable as he was softening, but he wanted to keep this feeling of sheer bliss for as long as possible. He opened his eyes when he felt her soft lips brush against his. She was smiling at him.

"I love you," she whispered.

He laughed and pulled her closer, kissing her firmly. "I love you too, my darling, so very much."

"No more demons?" she whispered softly.

"No more demons ever," he confirmed.

Mary sighed and curled up next to him as she was overcome with fatigue to the point of sheer exhaustion. It had been a long day and her last energy had been used up in passion. She smiled and kissed his collar bone. He tightened his grip around her as they settled in.

Kemal Pamuk never entered their bed, and his name was not mentioned ever in the sanctuary of their bedroom. Together they made their own memories of passion and love, which filled every part of their existence, leaving no room for ghosts.

THE END