Disclamier: I don't own anything. I'm just borrowing some of the characters for my own fun.

Chapter 1| It's not normal

It's not normal.

This isn't right.

I shouldn't feel this way.

He is my brother.

Ever since I turned 14, I've been looking at Giotto-nii differently. He's only four years older than me. The first time I looked at him, like that, it was on his 18th birthday.

We were swimming in our pool in the backyard. I watched him climb up the steps to get out of the water. When his body emerged from the water, I saw he had become muscular. Then I watched as the tiny droplets of water ran down his tanned, well-toned chest. He slicked his golden hair back, running his hands through it to brush away from his face. I saw his hair had gotten longer, but still managed to maintain its gravity-rebelling style, that I copied. Then I glanced up meeting his sky blue eyes.

I instantly felt embarrassed. He just kept looking at me then he laughed, "What? Are you staring at me, Tsuna-chi?" His grin widened.

"Umm…I-I was j-just…" I stuttered, feeling even more embarrassed when he used his private nickname for me. I took a few seconds to think. "Y-You look nice. I m-mean, y-you've got muscles." I felt like face-palming myself. Could I be any more dame?

"Uhh…thanks," he said awkwardly. "I started taking a training class with Reborn and G. I guess working my ass off finally paid off." He ended with his signature hearty laugh.

I decided to change the subject. I got out of the pool then shook the water from my hair. "We should probably go hit the showers. It's already nine, and I reek of chlorine." I was now standing in front of him.

"Nah. You smell wonderful." We both laughed then he playfully punched my arm. This was how I lived my life. With my older brother, laughing and smiling with him. I didn't want any of this to change... We walked toward the house and all I could do was watch him walk ahead of me. My heart was racing as I stared at his muscular back. I took a few seconds to watch him glide across the lawn then I followed.

Once we were inside, we said goodnight to our mom and headed upstairs.

He looked at me and smiled. We said goodnight simultaneously, and that made me blush like crazy. I watched him go to his room, which was across the hall from mine and when he shut his door, I went in my room and closed my door.

That was the first time I ever looked at him like that. I figured out that I loved him more than a brotherly way. With each passing week, it began to get harder and harder to hide my feelings.

I knew it was wrong, and I was ashamed of my feelings and desires. I couldn't stop the way I was feeling. If I kept going on like this, he would soon find out.

I went from just thinking about him, to watching him, to wanting him. But I am sure if I told him my feelings, he would be disgusted with me. I mean, I was Dame-Tsuna, and nobody wanted to be involved with me. I don't think I could stand to not have him around. I would miss his smile, his laugh, and him talking to me.

I care too much, and loved him too much, to ever destroy want what we have. Therefore, I will never tell him. Even though I promised myself this, I knew I would eventually cave in.