Ashes to ashes, dust to dust...
Everything will eventually return to what it used to be, huh? That's implying that anything and everything will eventually come to an end, yet there most certainly are some which are eternal and -by nature- have no end...
That which we have, we shall never treasure until their final moments before they disappear forever. That which we don't, we shall forever seek to the ends of time...
This is a tale from long ago; a tale long forgotten; a distant memory of those old enough to know of it and are still around to remember it. A tale of a rather unique young girl...
Thousands of years ago, there once lived a young couple; a man of noble descent and his happily-wedded wife, whose dreams of having a child together remained unfulfilled throughout their years as a couple, yet they remained a happy family nonetheless.
As the years passed, their prayers for a child continued on. They were not desperate, but it was the one thing that kept their lives from being perfect. They were happy as they were, yet they desired for one more. And one day, their wish came true...
It was not long after a recent youkai sighting by the villagers that they had found her; an albino baby lying in the soil, all alone. The man approached her with a warm smile across his face; a smile of great joy, slightly moving him to tears. The baby had such silky, white hair -almost as white as snow- and her eyes were of a slight shade of scarlet. The baby lay all alone, stark naked and it did not take much time to deduce her gender.
As the man approached her, she, too, smiled as if she has found happiness. What had really impressed the man was how she managed to stay so calm without company; a situation in which most children would cry their hearts eyes out, screaming for their parents. Keeping in mind the dangers of the outside, where anything lurking in the wilds could just pop out and hurt her, he took her home; oh with such joy she stretched out her arms, ready to be held in the man's warm embrace.
Upon his return, words could not describe his wife's reaction; the sudden surge of happiness she felt; how her eyes were wide-open, how she dropped laundry she was cleaning before he had returned; how she leapt right up, ran towards her man and rested her head upon his shoulders ; her tears streaming down her face to no end. The child's view was the most pleasant one anyone could ever experience: the warm, welcoming smiles of a happily-wedded man and woman. It was like a sign of everlasting happiness amongst the three.
However, perfection and everlasting happiness are two things that can never exist is the world...
It was not much later that her mother grew terminally ill, passing away so quickly they had not the time to wish her goodbye. Her father grieved for days upon nights, yet he still strived on, trying his best not to abandon his responsibilities as her guardian and did all he could to raise his daughter.
The girl was not old enough by then to understand the concept of death. However, she knew her mother had left and would not be coming back any time soon. She would weep in her room in the middle of the night, unbeknownst to her father. It was then, too, that she began to develop a terrible temper; often talking back to her father at times she grew annoyed -which was very frequent. She would feel a great discomfort every once in a while, where she would have to break things -from furniture in her home to anything else she could find outside at that time- to calm herself down.
Years later, she grew up to be a rather charming young girl and was quite a talk of the people. However, as she grew up, her temper, too, grew more and more difficult to subdue, with a hot, burning sensation from inside her every time. And even through his great sadness, her father did his job well, not letting his emotions get the better of him and putting his daughter before everything else. Though he grieved and wept behind his daughter's back, just as she did behind his, he strived on. Soon he began to face reality; slowly storing the memories of his beloved spouse somewhere deep and safe, ensuring they never interfere with his present life. And then he met her...
It all stemmed from the rumours that had spread all across the land. Rumours regarding a princess whose beauty knew no bounds. And it was through a bizarre string of coincidences that he met her, causing him to feel love once again. It was, no doubt, love at first sight. The rumours about her were all true; how she was a beauty with no match in the world, how she was like an angel that had fallen from the heavens, how she was the epitome of perfection itself...
Not long had passed and he had already asked for her hand in marriage, along with several other men. Without hesitating one bit, she gave them what had seemed like impossible tasks; she requested the men to retrieve several objects that were of such great rarity that most of them just gave up and returned home. The remaining few, however, were determined to find them.
Through the use of trickery and deception, the men faked their requested items and were promptly turned down by the princess. However, even as the months passed, the girl waited for her father and still no word of his return came to the village... until one of the men that he had brought with him on his quest returned, alone.
Oh the tears that filled her eyes when she received the news; the mixed emotions that she felt at that time. She just did not know what to do. As she wept over her loss, a part of her was mad at her father for having betrayed her mother's love. She was going out of control. Her mind was full of mixed reactions. The burning discomfort she had always felt began to pass even her limits and soon, before she knew it, she was engulfed in flames. The people were shocked; not because the girl was on fire, but because of how her body reacted towards it...
She ran all over the place, jumping and screaming for help, pleading for it to stop. Even so, as her skin burned away and her flesh began to break apart, new layers formed. Her flesh quickly regenerated and reforming how it originally was, before being burnt by the flames of such intensity and disintegrating once more. It was a never-ending cycle.
The villagers, men and women alike, grabbed buckets upon buckets of water from any source of water they could find, trying their hardest to extinguish the flames, but to no avail. Even from a distance, they could feel the heat of the raging flames. No one could get too close without risking burning themselves to a crisp and with that, they could only splash the water they had collected from afar. And even then, it had no effects at all. They could not imagine the pain the girl was suffering...
As she began to lose consciousness, the fiery vortex died down on its own. Some believed the girl to be a youkai out to destroy their homes whilst others looked at her with sympathy, taking it as if it were a curse she had to endure alone. But no matter what they thought, there was no changing the fact that she had developed a grudge on the one person that brought it upon her. The one thing to do when you ever feel troubled is the same thing everyone else does: put the blame on someone else. And for her, it was the woman that had sent her father out in the first place; the so-called princess that had won the hearts of so many men. No, she was just a demon; a sadistic demon that derives pleasure from watching others' torment. She must have been disappointed when those men tried to trick her with their deceptions rather than attempting to find them themselves and lose their lives in the process.
The following years, she sought after this "princess". Her name was one that resounds in her head in her sleep. The name that brings her to tears, forcing her to think back of her father and all the times they had spent together. The name she had grown to despise. The name that disgusts her to the point of nausea at times. Houraisan Kaguya...
...
So much time had passed. Although every time she has decided to give up on her search and began to settle down, she would end up being reminded of her curse of eternity.
She had long since given up, actually. For she knew that hundreds of years have passed, and even if she managed to find Kaguya, the latter would have decomposed and become one with the soil already. Yet, she continued to wander, roaming the world, trying to find a new purpose.
It was then one fateful day that an ordinary walk became a puzzle in a mysterious labyrinth. Before she knew it, she was lost. However, as she listened and observed her surroundings, a familiar name caught her attention. A name she had been hearing in her dreams for as long as she could remember...
Instinctively, she engulfed her hands in the fire that she had learned to manipulate through time; the very one that had 'killed' her several times over in the past. Without hesitation, she ambushed a young lady in pink; her flames burning away the young lady's clothes, and then her skin, followed by her flesh. Her screams of pain echoed throughout until it turned to silence. A young girl stood right by the scene; her eyes filled with shock as she trembled and dropped to her knees. She was shaking like a leaf, curled up in a fetal position on the ground.
It was then that I had discovered the unbelievable truth...
The one person I had been searching for all that time, she was no different from me. We were one and the same...
How many hundreds of years have passed since then? How many cycles have we been through? Ever since that fateful day, we began to kill each other, with each attempt being more gruesome than the last. It started off with ordinary assassination attempts such as strangling or drowning. But soon we grew more creative with every kill. How many people in the world have seen their own beating heart ripped from their chest and lived to talk about it? How many people in the world have had their limbs removed and dragged around by their innards? How many people in the world have been through death over and over like us?
Death... it's the one thing everyone fears most, isn't it?
Among the beings that exist, humans are the most fragile. They are short-lived and will die eventually, so as long as time never stops. Youkai, on the other hand, cannot expire with time, but will die if they are ever to sustain injuries too heavy for them to handle. And then there are gods, who are divine bodies that will continue to exist as long as there is someone out there praying for them.
These three beings have one thing in common: they all fear death. Humans have done research and such to extend their lives, or heck, some even try to gain immortality. Gods always have their followers spread their religion to the world, just so they could continue to exist. Youkai are no different. At the brink of death, even they cry and plead for their lives.
That which we have, we shall never treasure until their final moments before they disappear forever. That which we don't, we shall forever seek to the ends of time...
I am no different...
However, every other being will not understand the former, for to them, they shall always desire immortality. I, however, have been through enough to know how long an eternity truly is.
You see, I have a friend. At least, I had a friend. A great one, at that. Ever since I met her, she had cared for me, and I do for her, too. I can never forget that smile of hers. Oh how it used to feel so warm and cheer me up after I regain consciousness from my not-so-death. Though she used to nag at me for my endless attempts at killing Kaguya -not much of a surprise, coming from a teacher at the nearby village- I still loved her.
I have fallen in love in the past too. Back in the outside world, I have met a charming young man who was kind and accepted me for who I am. It was during the time when I had began to settle down, back when I had decided to face the fact that my one purpose in life had already been long gone -though at that time I still did not know of Kaguya's immortality. Oh the times we used to spend together, all the joys we shared.
These people, along with many more I can call my fellow friends, they have long abandoned me. No... They never abandoned me. In fact, they stayed with me till the very end. I watched them age, I watched their wrinkles grow in numbers, I watched as the bags under their eyes began to sag, I watched as their backs hunched and they legs grew weak until they could not walk anymore. I watched as they went down to their graves...
There is only one person who understands me. Truth be told, we both share a similar life. We actually understand each other. To be honest, I have begun to develop feelings for her. I believe even I have fallen for her beauty and the reason why I continued to kill her even though I knew it was futile, was because I wanted to fulfill her one true desire. I believe she is reciprocating my feelings by doing the same to me...
It has been thousands of years since the calamity. We have lived through what they call, "the end of the world", an act which we both regret, though there was nothing we could have done in the first place. The land is now barren, with the two of us being the last people alive...
It's hard to believe people actually I desire to be put in a situation like this. They wish to live on, no matter the circumstances. It seems they never thought what it would be like to actually not die. They don't seem to understand how beautiful death really is. I, however, have seen too much. I know an eternal life is not one worth living. I only seek death, and regret I shall not, even the last moments of my life. I will never regret giving up my immortality. This I am sure, for I know it is impossible...
"You feel the same way too, don't you... Kaguya?"