The Rainbow
By Breanna Cornell
Her mind remembered, so easily. HE was always in her thoughts, it was no matter that they weren't together any longer. She had left first, and tried her best to move on, but it never happened. HE had moved on, and now he didn't even respond to any form of communication…what was so wrong with her? That was the problem though, she had always clung to him because he made her feel safe, and warm and…right. Yet, he left and everything was wrong again, and she just couldn't handle that kind of life. She couldn't handle seeing him with another girl and the next minute being in his arms, it didn't work; Because then he was gone again and she was left with tears stinging her eyes and her stomach clenching. A feeling that never went away, even in her sweetest dreams.
She walked down the hallway that they had traveled down together every day. It suprisingly left her feeling empty, and not quite as in pain as it had previously. Although she knew he was not here, she liked that hall. There was an air of calm that always floated there, along side her. Listening to the heels of her shoes' echo, she left the building.
The coffee was cold when she drank it, because it had been made that morning. It was not a problem. That strangely erotic taste filled her with a joy that a pot of the warm stuff couldn't bring. It was the numbness that felt so horribly wonderful. She remembered it as though it was yesterday, and it actually was yesterday now that she thought about it.
It had been raining hard that day in mid July. Summer rains normally left her feeling completely care free and refreshed, but now all she felt was the mugginess hugging her like a wet quilt. She had felt like taking a look at a nearby book store, it was new on the block in Manhattan. So, off she went despite the wet ruining her hair and soiling her nice pants. She passed the ice cream parlor, filled with memories, and saw little children in rain boots licking chocolate cones; it made her smile. Their innocence was so pure and beautiful it would be difficult to describe with words, when her emotions were so strong.
Then, the sight was ruined. As most everything is, her joy was thrown away.
He was sitting there alone in that same café, at the same table, and in the same seat that they used to sit in. He sipped his drink with a thoughtful gaze that nearly gave her a headache, while reading the book that they used to love talking of. She put her hands in her jacket pockets, not really able to move otherwise. People on the street just passed by; some shoved past her.
Eyes met eyes. This had not happened for so long, and it scared her beyond belief. He had turned his head, his mouth somewhat ajar. The drink he had, was now set down on the table. Her feet somehow managed to move, slowly mind you, across the street. This zombie-like state was in no way enjoyable, but it was indeed hypnotizing.
She heard the familiar tinkle of a bell as she opened the door. Then, she shuffled over to finally, yes finally, plop down in the seat. Oh, she never had realized how much she missed that seat, until now.
His hands were on the table, and those marvelous hands had done everthing for her. They had caressed her face, and been run through her hair, and run over her lips until she felt absolutely dizzy with love. They had even played a personal love song, on a guitar. She knew she would never forget the sound of those chords as he sung lyrics he had slaved over at midnight for two days after work. Oh, and that face…it brought everything back. The sunsets, pink and orange painted on it, and the dust and dirt after cleaning and camping in the country-side. Then of course, the lip stick. She had kissed him, leaving it by mistake, yet not truly by mistake.
It was still silent, and had been for minutes now. He was the first to break it.
"How've you been, buttercup?"
Her heart clenched harder than ever, "Please, don't ever call me that. I'm doing—."
"You object to your nickname? I made it just for you." He interrupted her, but he never had before.
"We aren't like this, it—it won't work." She sprawled her arms across the table, feeling helplessly lost. It was as though she were drowning, and he was just sitting on the beach laughing and chuckling with old friends.
"But it will, buttercup, we still love eachother. It never ended. You left, you were angry, I understand."
"No, it has ended—."
He took both of her hands in his and an electricity raced through her, he was giving her the power and energy she had been deprived of for so long. "It hasn't. Something brought us together again, and you can't change Fate."
She knew this felt more right than anything had for awhile, but deep down in the depths of her mind, she knew she would regret it. The other woman, the lonliness… it would only continue.
"No." She tore her hands away from him and clenched them to her sides to hug herself. "I am not putting myself through this again."
"Through what? Love?" He sat there, open-mouthed, and sounding mildly aggressive. As if he hadn't expected this. "I love you, and you know it don't you? You are still my only one; there's nothing to lose."
That was the final straw. "Yes there is something to lose," she pulled her lips together and apart in perfect menace, the menace she had been holding in.
"My pride, and my happiness and most of all, my future ability of finding someone who doesn't use me and throw me away every day. You did love me, but now I'm just one of the many. What happened to the ONLY one? You leave and say, it's only friends, or business. But then you have the audacity to come home, and say that you love only me and always will. You still take me everywhere, but then you leave again, and when you do you take part of me with you…and you know what? You never returned that part back." She got up from her seat and ran with fever over to the door. "Truth be told though, I don't want it. Keep it, as a souvenir!"
The rain was pouring by this time, coming down in sheets and buckets off of the roofs. She didn't care, it felt great on her skin. Finally, the tense energy she had been weighed with, had been knocked out of her and it was as if some higher power was rewarding her by this rain that was falling.
She walked by the old building they had been to and the ice cream parlor, and for the first time in her life, she saw a rainbow coating the sky above them.