Sweetest Goodbye
A/N: Sorry its been a while. I will get around to updating, I promise.... and I know I'm MAJORLY behind with my reviewing as well.... My comp's being iffy and wont let me access all the stories. Ishandahalf – Really sorry. Yours is one of the ones I can't access at the moment.
Anywho, after this, I'm updating.... Probably Lore's Intro.. I forget the name.... Probably shouldn't drink wine. Its bad for your memory, and typing, hence you'll have to forgive ALL typo's. Well, not all of them.... Some of them are because I'm a damned Britt!
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Where you are, seems to be as far as an eternity
Out stretched arms, open hearts and
If it never ends, then when do we start?
She'd been so distant lately. She barely ate, barely slept, and barely spoke.... Something not unusual for Rogue, but it un-nerved Gambit to see her like this. She was there.... but she wasn't. Her body was, but her mind was somewhere else.... Somewhere far away where he couldn't go, and he hated it. He hated holding her, knowing she barely felt it.... he hated the sound of her breathing, showing she was awake and not asleep. Before, he hadn't been able to sleep until he heard her breathing change, and now, it never did. It never slowed, never showed tell-tale signs of sleep, because she didn't.
She looked like she was sleeping.. She could fool anyone.... Anyone but him. He always knew, and she knew he knew. What really bothered him was – Did she CARE?
I'll never leave you behind, or treat you unkind
I know you understand. oh...
And with a tear in my eye
give me the sweetest goodbye, that I ever did recieve
She'd come to his room that night, and a silent understanding passed between them. She'd been different since she could touch, and different since she'd last absorbed him. He did worry that she'd received some of his worse memories, but chance were, she'd already had them several thousand times over.
As she crossed the room to him, no gloves, no over-shirt, no tights and no combat boots, She smiled faintly at him. This was it. They both knew it and neither could deny it. It had been coming for some time.
The moment needed no words, and awkwardly, after a moment of looking at each other, she finally tilted his chin up and kissed him softly, demandingly, and slowly, he began to respond to this.... Stranger. This Rogue that wasn't his. The Rogue that never would be.
Pushing forward and arching back
Brings me closer to heart attack
Say good bye and just fly away
when you come back,
I have some things to say
Clothes were shed rapidly, and just discarded on the floor. As Remy lay back, Rogue moved up alongside him, her body pressing into his, as he pulled the sheets up around her hips. For once, she didn't look so far away.... She looked.... almost close. Almost present, but not quite. He'd used to think that look was because of her telepathy, but it didn't appear so. She wasn't using any powers. And he'd long since learnt that that was just the way she was becoming. Cold and Emotionless.... if he couldn't have sworn she'd said 'I love you' a few nights back, he would have believed it. It seemed that way, even now, as her lovely face contorted slightly with pain, and her dull emerald eyes squeezed shut, her nails digging into his shoulders slightly as she gave him what he'd taken from so many others without caring.
How does it feel to know you'll never have to be alone
when you get home?
Was this how he'd looked to them – cold and emotionless? No.... He couldn't have done.... His eyes always seemed to have that spark in them.... the smouldering embers of desire when he looked at Rogue. It wasn't love.... he'd promised himself that, and he reminded himself as he moved with her, holding onto her and repeatedly asking if she was alright. No answer, just a nod or a shake. She was starting to remind him of Emma Frost....
Dream away everyday
try so hard to disreguard
The rhythm of the rain that drops
and coincides with the beating of my heart
Afterwards, as he lay next to her, her just resting in his arms, letting her heart-rate and breathing return to normal, she'd turned and wiped away the tear starting to form in the corner of his eye. Watching her for a moment, she just looked back. At some point, she'd gotten here.... Her mind had re-joined her body, and he thought he could almost see the sadness in her soul as she studied his face, as though she couldn't remember seeing it before and wasn't going to see it again. Memorising every line, every wrinkle and crease.
I'll never leave you behind, or treat you unkindI know you understand. hey, oh, oh...
and with a tear in my eye, give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever ever ever did receive
As he reached out to touch her cheek, she shrank back, the spell broken, and slid out of the bed, gathering her clothes and putting them back on slowly. He watched her, noting how her head was always bowed downwards, and he started to feel bad for, what had been on his part, an act of love. On her part, he wasn't sure what it had been. As she finished, zipping up the knee-high leather boots she'd left in his room a week ago, she stood and picked up a picture off his desk.... Them on one of their first dates together.
He opened his mouth to speak and she shook her head, setting the picture face-down with finality. You could almost hear his heart break in the silent room, shattering into a thousand pieces, each one smaller and finer than a grain of sand.
How does it feel to know you'll never have to be alone
when you get home?
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go
So I can show you how I feel.
Moving back to the bed, she leant over and placed a soft kiss on his forehead, stroking his chin slightly as she did, and he thought he caught a glimmer of a tear in her eyes. No, it couldn't be. Rogue was emotionless.... She truly was a Rogue now.
She crossed the room quickly, opening the door and picking up her bags that were waiting outside before she looked back. He'd sat up, just watching her. As she met his gaze, she quickly pulled hers away and walked hurredly down the corridor and out of the front door. She was leaving.... She couldn't be late.... And she couldn't let him see her cry.
How does it feel to know you'll never have to be alone
when you get home?
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go
So I can show you how I feel.
They'd both known it was coming to this. One day, she was just going to leave. Not because she didn't love him anymore.... But because she had to. She wanted to find her family.... To hug her mother, her REAL mother, and be able to say that she could stay because she wasn't dangerous anymore. To be accepted as something other than a mutant. Someone other than Rogue. It didn't matter what Remy did, he just couldn't do it. To him, she was Rogue – the gorgeous, breath-taking sight that had captured his heart, even if he sometimes wondered if she still cared for it.... for him.
Pushing forward and arching back
Brings me closer to heart attack
Say good bye and just fly away
when you come back,
I have some things to say
He moved to the window, watching her put her stuff in the car before she hugged Ororo. Glancing up at the window at him, she hugged Logan next, before glancing up once again, and climbing in the car. His hand pressed against the window, as if it would stop her going, but he just didn't have the power to do that....
He could always charge up the window, but she'd hate him for it. She'd hate him for making her stay. Maybe she wouldn't stay.... and he'd hate her for it. No, it wouldn't work, either way. Rogue was too compassionate to leave when he was hurt.... wasn't she? He was hurting now and she was still leaving.... Her leaving was making his heart break.
How does it feel to know you'll never have to be alone
when you get home?
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go
To show you I feel...feel...feel...feel
As a tear rolled down her face, Rogue looked back at the mansion one last time, before nodding to Scott to drive her to the airport. She couldn't stay here with him. She loved him too much.
A tear fell down Remy's face, splashing against his hand as he stayed at the window, hoping the car would turn around and come back. She'd run upto his room, they'd embrace..... and she'd be as cold as ever. Perhaps this would do them good....
He couldn't help hoping the car would come back with her in it though. He couldn't help wishing she'd change her mind, and most of all, he couldn't help thinking that this was his fault.
