Falling into Myself
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam wing or any of it's characters. Also, it would be a big help for people who read this to tell me if it should be a Relena or a Silvia fic, because I really don't know.... Mnemosyn
Introduction
"Relena?" Heero asked with confusion obvious as she moved closer to him, her hand around his waist and n his shoulder as she drew him closer, her eyes closed.
Her baby blue eyes flashed open and she dragged him out to the balcony, the memories from when she had found something out about his past flooding back.
"Why did you kill her?" She asked with disgust riddling her tone of voice.
Heero stared at her. He knew this would happen, that one day she would find out about the little girl and her dog.
About the town he had demolished.
The look in her features and everything was unbearable She couldn't even look at him as she turned her head away, her eyes squeezed shut.
"Were you going to kill me like you did to her?" The sudden sound of her voice like this brought his thoughts to an abrupt halt.
"No—"He stopped when Relena turned away from him, telling him that she never wanted to see him again.
Duo and his odd plans of bringing them together never did turn out all right most of the time, but this was by far the worst. His already fragile and nearly opened up feeling crumbled in an instant. Shatter into many pieces like a broken mirror.
He turned, Relena facing the doors with a disgusted look on her face as she looked at the party before her, and ran, jumping off the ledge.
Chapter One:
Why was he being so foolish? He berated himself mentally until he stopped in an abandoned warehouse. He didn't even notice the shadow tailing him all the way.
He flung open the door, rain starting to pour, soaking his through as he sluggishly walked in.
The darkness swallowed him. Had he forgotten that he anyone that came close to him ended up hurting him or he them? It slipped his mind so easily when he thought he had friends.
Friends? Was that what he thought of them. 'No.' He thought. 'They were useful for my missions, but now I know they don't need me.' He thought and closed his eyes before opening them to hear a voice calling to him.
"You don't want to be alone anymore do you?" A soothing voice questioned, touching his broken soul and mending two small broken pieces.
Heero didn't answer. He was torn two ways. He closed his eyes, feeling arms wrap around his shoulder. He had a vague feeling of which it was.
Silvia, a daughter of Peace Marshall Noventa whom had fallen in love with him when she first laid eyes on him, and unlike Relena she wanted him to be happy, even if it didn't involve her in his life.
She never chased. Except this time. She knew he was broken, the words that were so blunt to others hit him as sharply as a knife, she could tell.
His silence even proved for more to this fact. She let her arms drag him into a hug as she leaned her head gently on his shoulder, drawing herself closer until she could feel his heartbeat.
"I don't want you to be hurt any more. Come away with me." She whispered to her young soldier, which had stolen her heart away.
Heero closed his eyes and relaxed against her, his sore muscles not being so sore anymore. Something told him something was wrong about all this, but everything was wrong in his life. What would one mistake like this mean?
He could stay with her and she would mend him possibly so that he could forget her, Relena.
"Let me help you, let me mend your broken soul," She whispered into his ear as she dragged him up to his feet, he followed into the pouring night, following her though he had no clue where he was going.
Th rain didn't sting so much with her around...
"Relena?!" Trowa shouted, quite surprised when he saw her tied up form in the coat closet. He had just seen Relena walk by, greeting her less than two seconds ago.
She let out mumbled uncaught words through the cloth gag in her mouth, writhing against the bonds that bound her.
"Tro--ugh!" Relena muffled out, trying to call out his name and break the seemingly trance he was caught in.
Trowa stared at her, his jade green eye and his brown hair hiding his other eye behind a mask of bangs. He shook his head to clear his mind and slowed his racing heart.
That meant. He rushed over to her and asked her questions only she would know and dragged her to her feet, rushing out of the room to find the imposter.
Heero followed Silvia, her hair flying as she laughed in the rain, a small smile formed on his lips also as he followed her, she headed to the swings on the playground, skidding on the wet ground, tripping. Heero caught her and they looked into each other's eyes as Silvia moved in for a kiss.
Her eyes were closed as her face moved closer, inch by inch, to his face to steal a small kiss from him. He jerked away, a blush on his features. "I-I'm sorry...I can't—"He said looking away.
"Yes, I'm sorry." She said, drawing him into a hug, the to be kiss long forgotten. "I shouldn't have tried so soon" She whispered as she walked over with him to the slide, her wet dress trailing behind her a bit.
A smile formed onto their lips, as they both played in the rain like children. All worries washing away from both of their bodies with the rain.
Duo glared at the imposter Relena who had a cosmetic make over to look identical to the young pacifist. "What did you say to him?" The person grinned evilly. A growing pit of fear resided in his gut. Though the reckless Japanese pilot didn't admit it, he cared for Relena; anything she said that could break even the slightest trust he felt for someone would tear him from the world.
"Oh, you should have seen the look on his face." The fake Relena, who we shall call Lena since it will get confusing with two. Duo's head hurt. Too much thinking can do that.
"What did you tell him?" Relena fiercely asked, dreading what she might say.
"You see, I did a little research on his past and found something...something that's haunting him." She said slyly.
"He murdered a young girl by accident in a mission, and he blames himself. You should have seen how he acted when he found out you knew." Lena said, looking at the real Relena.
She gasped. Heero would think that she hated him and then, who knows what he would do?! Of course she never thought he had feelings for her, but this was cruel!
"He ran off, haven't seen him since. The look in his eyesâ€priceless." She said wickedly, letting out a maniac's type of laugh.
"You evil—"Duo shouted, griping the woman as the door was flung open.
"What is going on in—"Milliardo, Relena's over-possessive sister looked at him while the other did the same. Two Relena's?! What the hell was going on?!
The other two Gundam pilots, Quatre Winner and Chang Wufei appeared next to him with his 'girlfriend' Noin. They all gasped too. Milliardo managed to bottle his anger and wait for an explanation.
"Get in and close the door!" Duo hissed, not removing his grip from the fake Relena, Lena. "Well?" He said with impatience.
They followed his command and closed the door after all of them had stepped inside the room.
"This wench," Duo looked at the teenager Lena who smiled at this wickedly. "She played an imposter and tricked someone." He hissed. Trowa remained silent in a corner, but the others knew it wasn't him that was tricked. They had no clue just who it was.
"Who?" Noin asked, hoping it wasn't one of the delegates from the colonies, that would cause a disaster, utter chaos.
Duo took a deep breath. "It was Heero." He managed out in front of his friends. They all let out a smile gasp and Lena smiled wickedly, chuckles coming from her.
"Well, it's so nice to know all of you care for him!" She laughed. "If you had seen the look on his face, the look in his eyes. Priceless! If only I had a Kodak camera to capture that moment!"
A deep silence filled the air as Lena talked about that moment, the others staring dumbfounded. "I haven't seen him since and wouldn't be surprised if I never will!" She laughed, Relena stared at her through tears: she knew what this meant. It might even already be too late!
"We have to find him!" Noin said sternly, worry hidden behind her soldier backbone. "It might already be to late." She took the words right of Relena's mouth.
"Hurry!" Milliardo ordered the Gundam Pilot, and for Trowa (who was the only one without an impulse to kill the girl...yet) to stay behind and watch over her. They all rushed out of the room.
Heero and Silvia sat on the swings, looking at the raining sky, letting the raindrops wash over their face. They swung their swings for a while, until Silvia stopped and surprised Heero by jumping onto his lap when he was still swinging.
She was smiling with pure happiness that made Heero look at her with a small smile. "What do ya say we go get some hot chocolate after this?"
"All right." Heero said, thinking that was a perfect idea.
"Your place or mine?" She asked, leaning back onto her chest while her legs moved in rhythm with his to keep the swing moving.
Heero didn't know what to say; but did it matter? A house with hot chocolate was just a house.
"Well, I guess you'll let me decide right?" Silva asked. Heero nodded, 'might as well' he thought. "All right, we can go to yours, it isn't far off is it?"
"Yeah, it's not that far." She relaxed onto his thin frame, fitting perfectly with her own thin and petite frame. The rain continued coming down as they continued swinging on the swing.
Silvia looked at Heero, who had his eyes closed and leaned in to kiss his forehead, cheek, chin, other cheek, and then his forehead again. Heero's eyes opened on first contact with the kiss. Silvia smiled.
"What was that for?" He questioned.
"It's my circle of protection." Silvia said, pulling him off the barely moving swing. He looked at her, quite confused but masked it easily.
"A circle of protection?" He questioned.
"It will keep you safe from harm when I'm not here, but now I'll always be with this." She traced the imaginary circle the kisses formed.
Heero smiled slightly. He felt he rain wash over him in his already soaking clothes. He felt lightheaded and the cold was getting to him, but Silvia was warmer than him and his lips ere blue and he felt all warmth from her fade ad his eyes fell a little bit.
He looked up, feeling another's presence and stumbled out of Silvia's grip, she spun around to see what had interrupted him and came face to face with Relena, who was standing about ten feet away, staring at them with wide eyes.
Heero felt himself die again when h looked at her face, remembering the way that she looked at him, the blame that she held for him. The accusing look. He spun on his heel and he turned and ran off. He heard Silvia call to him but he ignored it, much to his dismay.
The raindrops mingled with his salty tears, ones he hadn't cried in a long time.
Silvia glared at Relena, her soaked dress showing every curve of her petite body. "Haven't you already caused him enough pain, why are you hear?!" She found herself yelling, seeing more people rush up. The former Gundam pilots, minus Trowa Barton, Miss Noin and Milliardo were also present.
She still had Heero's draped tuxedo coat draped over her shoulders to keep him warm. "Where's Heero?" Milliardo asked in a cold voice.
"None of your business, why are you here?!" Silvia snapped. "Come to get a laugh, huh?" She snarled at them. They were shocked. Why would she say such a thing to them? They were his friends.
"We just want to know where Heero is." Relena said calmly, her voice betraying her. Heero had run away from her, the expression of a broken heart and pained look on his face stopped her from chasing after him. "This is all a misunderstanding."
"Yes, Relena. This is a misunderstanding. You see, you were suppose to make him feel human, he's so lost now!" Silvia said with sorrow for the young pilot. He had been through so much for so long, tortured in the shadows so no on else would know his pain. "He doesn't need you anymore. He can't even look at you know, and I'm surprised you even came looking for him, I saw the whole thing from the balcony! Don't play dumb with me." She hissed with cold venom dripping from her words.
"But—"Relena started to protest.
"Just go, all of you." She demanded, running off in the direction Heero had run off in. "He doesn't need you in his life anymore now that he has me!" She threw over her shoulder as it echoed in the nearly deserted streets.
They stood there, watching in a trance-like state for a moment. The other former Gundam pilots looked at one another. Now what we they going to do? They all sighed, and took off running again to follow Silvia.
She ran, her soaking hair flying behind her. "Heero!" She called, not paying attention for anything but movement in her surroundings. She had to find him.
She saw a shadow, carefully hidden behind a bush that would be invisible from any other view. It was leaned up against a tree that was extremely large.
"Heero!" He looked up at her from his arms that his head leaned up against, curled into almost a ball.
"Silvia?" His voice showed his exhaustion. 'W-why was I thinking... hoping... it was going to be R-relena?' She rushed to his side, drawing his arm over her shoulder. He was freezing to the touch. She ran off, dragging him with her, she had to get him to his house.
No matter what, before he caught a cold or even worse pneumonia.
TBC