Summary: When the Freelancers set up their own base in Blood Gulch, the Reds and Blues weren't expecting it to have only one girl running it. Or giving out help to both sides. GrifxOC, CaboosexOC

"-And thats the plan. Any questions?"

"Permission to speak insultingly sir?"

"Permission denied! This is the most fool proof plan to conquer the Blues since Doc showed up."

"You made me humiliate myself!"

"That was the best surrender of all time!"

As the Reds bickered over their new scheme, somewhere on the other side of Blood Gulch was a similar dilemma.

"For the last time, it's not my turn to babysit Junior!"

"Church! This is a serious situation we've got here! I can't leave Junior alone!"

"Blargh!"

"You said you needed to go to the store! And I'm not falling for that one!"

"Oh come on! I can't ask Sister or Caboose!"

"Why not?"

"Because Caboose is an idiot he can't take care of my kid. And Sister's not exactly maternal!"

"Blargh!"

As the two teams simultaneously bickered, suddenly a loud buzzing could be heard on the radio.

"Hello? Hello?! Is anyone listing?"

The bickering stopped at once.

"Say what?" said Tucker.

"Who the hell are you?" commanded Sarge.

"Hello? This is Command with a special broadcast to the Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha!" said a light voice.

"This is Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha! We read you!" replied Sarge.

"Sarge? What're doing on our radio? Get off, this is our Command!" argued Church.

"What's with the Blues and Reds sharing the same Command?" asked Grif.

"Hey! Hey! This is Agent Maryland with a special news broadcast!"

"Agent Maryland?" asked Simmons.

"What happened to Vic Jr.?" asked Tucker.

"Oh he quit a long time ago. Something about pursuing his dream to be a porn star."

"That was a little over the top," grumbled Church.

"Well anyway," continued Maryland, "This is Agent Maryland with a special news broadcast. But you can just call me Lucky!"

"Bow chicka bow wow!"

"Shut up Tucker! What's the news?"

"Okay, Command has set up a new station in Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha. Reds and Blues now have access to our clinic, desk office for sending in requests, and our Friday Night Bar! Free margaritas for the first twenty people in!" chirped Lucky.

"There isn't any more than twenty!" Grif pointed out.

"Good thing, all we've got are margaritas!"

"Aw sweet!" cheered Donut.

"How can you have a bar with only one drink available?" Church asked.

"Well that's all I can make! And I'm in charge of all the facilities here!"

"You mean they put you in charge of everything? One guy?"

"Whaddaya mean guy? I'm a girl!"

"I knew it! Only girls can make margaritas!" Caboose stated.

"Well anyways, be sure to drop by for injuries, request forms, and Maryland's Famous Margaritas. We're where the cave used to be. Later!" A buzzing noise crackled through the radio until it switched off. After an awkward silence, Church finally spoke to the group of Blues that had gathered around him.

"Well this is easily the best thing that's happened so far. Hey wait, where's Tex?"

Back at Red Base, Donut was still estatic over the new station.

"This'll be awesome! We can drink margaritas and bond every Friday!"

"No way! Margaritas are for pussies." grumbled Grif.

"Well in any case, we still have a dilemma. Despite the convienent location of Command, its also accessible by the Blues! Dirty backstabbers!"

Meanwhile, the new building of Command was quiet. Inside was a circular desk, Lucky tapped her fingers on the desk after she turned off her headset.

"Wow, I think we all really connected!"

Lucky wore no armor. Instead, she wore a casual uniform, with long grey flannel sweatpants, a long sleeved black shirt and a white vest bearing the logo of Command. Her black hair was put up in a half ponytail, and her dark eyes were sparkling proudly with a job well done. All that was left was to wait for anyone to show up. She puffed a astray strand of hair away boredly. She wanted to play solitare while she waited, but someone could come in any time-

Suddenly the tinkle of the doorbell swinging as someone came in, Lucky popped out of her bored stupor into the classic secretary pose.

"Welcome to Command's Station in Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha how may...I ...help..."

Lucky looked up through the barrel of a sniper rifle and gulped as she followed it up to the person holding it.

"Aw shit."

"Hey there Lucky. Mind telling me where your AI's run off to?" Tex said in a fakely sweet voice. Lucky gulped nervously again.

Not the way she hoped her day on the job would start.