Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story apart from any
of my own design, this story is strictly fan fiction and I do not intend to
sell or in any way make profit from this story.
Chapter 1: A Fowl Mistake
Customs Interrogation Room, Dublin Airport
"You've made a mistake fowl", Agent Tomos of Interpol stated.
Artemis fowl smiled, leaned backwards against the budget plastic padding of the customs interrogation room's chair. When Artemis and butler had entered customs under one of his many aliases, the chess prodigy Bashkir and his "uncle" Constantine, on another of his more dubious business trips. He had immediately been arrested and shuffled into one of the very small extremely cheap interrogation room.
"Oh, have I agent Tomos? I will tell you now so there is no confusion, my family is a very old and very reputable and all our assets are strictly legal ones" Artemis lied. "Oh indeed fowl, very reputable", Tomos flicked through his notes, "Since the early 14th century the fowl family has partaken in smuggling, kidnapping, extortion, armed robbery, slave trading, piracy, forgery, prostitution, bootlegging, one count of attempted regicide", Tomos frowned, "hmm, Japanese emperor apparently, petty theft, theft, bullion robbery, quite a lot of bullion robbery", Artemis could not hide a grin, his family motto was gold is power after all, "Treason, bribery, blackmail and lately industrial espionage, insider trading, and embezzlement." Tomos took a large breath after all this. "But of course, no-one can prove this, or every has, not that they haven't tried", he slammed down the thick wad of notes on the table, "But now I have something fowl, it will take your father down and get you put away in a criminal institution, care to guess?"
Artemis thought for a moment. what could it be, none of their more illegitimate business, every employee of the fowls knew the favour returned for grassing them up. Butler, with a Sig Sauer knocking at their door at 2am in the morning.
"Since I have no idea what this amazing breakthrough of yours is I will ask you to enlighten me Mr Tomos", Artemis mocked, self assured, not worried at all.
"Tax Evasion"
Something equal to the mass of the accumulated fowl fortune sank to Artemis's gut from his gullet Al Capone had been sent down for basically the same charge when the F.B.I failed to prove any of his more dubious activities, but Capone wasn't a 17- year-old criminal prodigy.
"Not so cocky are we now fowl"? Tomos crowed, "it was amazing that I even stumbled upon it, random luck I guess, but I will be the first person in all the separate histories of all the law enforcement agencies to send a fowl down, a petty charge maybe, but I'll make it stick like mud, believe you me"
."Don't be a fool, human. You're deluding yourself. Mud technology is aeons behind ours.".
"What?"
"What's what Fowl?" Tomos asked suspiciously Artemis was forced to think quickly. "What do you to intend to gain by telling me about this? The law states that I cannot take responsibility for any tax until I am either employed, or I reach the age of 18; you can't hold me without a charge, what am I accused of? Trying to smuggle this alleged tax evasion money?"
"Oh no fowl something much simpler, your being seconded to 'Adalbert Whelt's secure facility for criminally ingenious youngsters', in Sweden, see, we also have a rather large file on you, nothing that could stand up in court, but with this evidence we have had you removed from society on the basis that your superior intelligence in a threat to man kind. Your father has been arrested, your mother has been notified and your associate Butler is being interrogated as we speak, It has all fallen into place, it was just a matter of timing" Tomos smiled, "I hear they use shock treatment where your going fowl, well, I'll see you at the trial." And like that Tomos walked out of the interrogation room, leaving Artemis fowl the second dumbfounded, a first for him.
The Interrogation Room Next Door
"Please state your name for the tape", agent Thompson stated flatly. "Domovoi Butler" "Okay, Mr Butler, we have quite a file on you, I seems from approximately 1982 to 1988 you have been involved with kidnappings, protection racquets, mercenary factions and the Irish Republican Army, though not directly." "I suppose there is no mention of all the positive things I have done then"
"No, not really"
"Ah"
"Of course you'll be denying these charges"
"Of course"
"Just as well I have no hard proof, well nothing that could stand up in court"
"Just as well then"
"Anything you want to declare, ask or state, before I wrap this up, its just procedure you know"
"Yes, what happens to master Artemis now"?
"He's being taken to a correctional facility, until the case is over"
"What case"?
"The case of his Father Vs Interpol"
"What's the charge"?
"Tax Evasion"
"Oh"
"Anyway, as we have no proof, we'll have to release you"
'I will be accompanying master fowl to this institute"
"What"? Tomos was surprised, "I'm sorry Mr Butler but that's impossible, master Artemis cannot make contact with the outside world until the trial when, if his father is found innocent, he will be released" Butler glared at the man in a cheap suit. "As you well doubt know master fowl's family has many enemies, where he goes I go, until I die or he does, nothing will prevent me from fulfilling my contract, and you can't do anything to stop me" "The facility is fully secured" "Then I will accompany him until he reaches this so called 'secure facility'" "Okay fair enough, follow me Mr Butler"
Flight 3047W0-FE
As Artemis sat in, this abysmal place known as 'second class' his mind began to tick over all the facts, mentally noting them and filing them away for future reference.
Father has been careless, damn.
A conviction is assured
I must escape and somehow get rid of the evidence.
NB: I cannot attempt to hack into Interpol, if they detect me they can
use that against my father in court, not that I would be detected but I
am not willing to take that chance.
Artemis looked up at Agent Tomos, Tomos' mind was elsewhere, namely on the posterior of the passing flight attendant, Artemis swivelled in his chair and faced his bodyguard butler, "Butler", he whispered, "get in contact with Gorman and his friends, if worst comes to worst, I may be forced take a sabbatical from Mr Whelt's Institution" Butler smiled; Master Artemis was always two steps ahead. "Yessir" Butler whispered back.
The flight was a long boring one, when the flight landed in Oslo, Butler was asleep. "When the time comes old friend that I need a bodyguard, I hope your not asleep, Butler" he glared at the body guard, nudging him. Butler woke with a start, and smiled at his employer sheepishly as he got a double barrelled glare from him. "I'm sorry Artemis, lately I've been feeling tired and I'm getting fatigued easily", Artemis replied "no matter Butler, as long as you serve me as faithfully and loyally as you have though the years, I'll have no reason to send you into retirement, in fact your tactical information and Training have been indispensable" Tomos interrupted, "Okay gentlemen, Mr Fowl has a reservation on a lightweight plane, a room booked, and a lot of correctional treatment at a U.N. facility, so do you mind if we move it along please"?
Chapter 1: A Fowl Mistake
Customs Interrogation Room, Dublin Airport
"You've made a mistake fowl", Agent Tomos of Interpol stated.
Artemis fowl smiled, leaned backwards against the budget plastic padding of the customs interrogation room's chair. When Artemis and butler had entered customs under one of his many aliases, the chess prodigy Bashkir and his "uncle" Constantine, on another of his more dubious business trips. He had immediately been arrested and shuffled into one of the very small extremely cheap interrogation room.
"Oh, have I agent Tomos? I will tell you now so there is no confusion, my family is a very old and very reputable and all our assets are strictly legal ones" Artemis lied. "Oh indeed fowl, very reputable", Tomos flicked through his notes, "Since the early 14th century the fowl family has partaken in smuggling, kidnapping, extortion, armed robbery, slave trading, piracy, forgery, prostitution, bootlegging, one count of attempted regicide", Tomos frowned, "hmm, Japanese emperor apparently, petty theft, theft, bullion robbery, quite a lot of bullion robbery", Artemis could not hide a grin, his family motto was gold is power after all, "Treason, bribery, blackmail and lately industrial espionage, insider trading, and embezzlement." Tomos took a large breath after all this. "But of course, no-one can prove this, or every has, not that they haven't tried", he slammed down the thick wad of notes on the table, "But now I have something fowl, it will take your father down and get you put away in a criminal institution, care to guess?"
Artemis thought for a moment. what could it be, none of their more illegitimate business, every employee of the fowls knew the favour returned for grassing them up. Butler, with a Sig Sauer knocking at their door at 2am in the morning.
"Since I have no idea what this amazing breakthrough of yours is I will ask you to enlighten me Mr Tomos", Artemis mocked, self assured, not worried at all.
"Tax Evasion"
Something equal to the mass of the accumulated fowl fortune sank to Artemis's gut from his gullet Al Capone had been sent down for basically the same charge when the F.B.I failed to prove any of his more dubious activities, but Capone wasn't a 17- year-old criminal prodigy.
"Not so cocky are we now fowl"? Tomos crowed, "it was amazing that I even stumbled upon it, random luck I guess, but I will be the first person in all the separate histories of all the law enforcement agencies to send a fowl down, a petty charge maybe, but I'll make it stick like mud, believe you me"
."Don't be a fool, human. You're deluding yourself. Mud technology is aeons behind ours.".
"What?"
"What's what Fowl?" Tomos asked suspiciously Artemis was forced to think quickly. "What do you to intend to gain by telling me about this? The law states that I cannot take responsibility for any tax until I am either employed, or I reach the age of 18; you can't hold me without a charge, what am I accused of? Trying to smuggle this alleged tax evasion money?"
"Oh no fowl something much simpler, your being seconded to 'Adalbert Whelt's secure facility for criminally ingenious youngsters', in Sweden, see, we also have a rather large file on you, nothing that could stand up in court, but with this evidence we have had you removed from society on the basis that your superior intelligence in a threat to man kind. Your father has been arrested, your mother has been notified and your associate Butler is being interrogated as we speak, It has all fallen into place, it was just a matter of timing" Tomos smiled, "I hear they use shock treatment where your going fowl, well, I'll see you at the trial." And like that Tomos walked out of the interrogation room, leaving Artemis fowl the second dumbfounded, a first for him.
The Interrogation Room Next Door
"Please state your name for the tape", agent Thompson stated flatly. "Domovoi Butler" "Okay, Mr Butler, we have quite a file on you, I seems from approximately 1982 to 1988 you have been involved with kidnappings, protection racquets, mercenary factions and the Irish Republican Army, though not directly." "I suppose there is no mention of all the positive things I have done then"
"No, not really"
"Ah"
"Of course you'll be denying these charges"
"Of course"
"Just as well I have no hard proof, well nothing that could stand up in court"
"Just as well then"
"Anything you want to declare, ask or state, before I wrap this up, its just procedure you know"
"Yes, what happens to master Artemis now"?
"He's being taken to a correctional facility, until the case is over"
"What case"?
"The case of his Father Vs Interpol"
"What's the charge"?
"Tax Evasion"
"Oh"
"Anyway, as we have no proof, we'll have to release you"
'I will be accompanying master fowl to this institute"
"What"? Tomos was surprised, "I'm sorry Mr Butler but that's impossible, master Artemis cannot make contact with the outside world until the trial when, if his father is found innocent, he will be released" Butler glared at the man in a cheap suit. "As you well doubt know master fowl's family has many enemies, where he goes I go, until I die or he does, nothing will prevent me from fulfilling my contract, and you can't do anything to stop me" "The facility is fully secured" "Then I will accompany him until he reaches this so called 'secure facility'" "Okay fair enough, follow me Mr Butler"
Flight 3047W0-FE
As Artemis sat in, this abysmal place known as 'second class' his mind began to tick over all the facts, mentally noting them and filing them away for future reference.
Father has been careless, damn.
A conviction is assured
I must escape and somehow get rid of the evidence.
NB: I cannot attempt to hack into Interpol, if they detect me they can
use that against my father in court, not that I would be detected but I
am not willing to take that chance.
Artemis looked up at Agent Tomos, Tomos' mind was elsewhere, namely on the posterior of the passing flight attendant, Artemis swivelled in his chair and faced his bodyguard butler, "Butler", he whispered, "get in contact with Gorman and his friends, if worst comes to worst, I may be forced take a sabbatical from Mr Whelt's Institution" Butler smiled; Master Artemis was always two steps ahead. "Yessir" Butler whispered back.
The flight was a long boring one, when the flight landed in Oslo, Butler was asleep. "When the time comes old friend that I need a bodyguard, I hope your not asleep, Butler" he glared at the body guard, nudging him. Butler woke with a start, and smiled at his employer sheepishly as he got a double barrelled glare from him. "I'm sorry Artemis, lately I've been feeling tired and I'm getting fatigued easily", Artemis replied "no matter Butler, as long as you serve me as faithfully and loyally as you have though the years, I'll have no reason to send you into retirement, in fact your tactical information and Training have been indispensable" Tomos interrupted, "Okay gentlemen, Mr Fowl has a reservation on a lightweight plane, a room booked, and a lot of correctional treatment at a U.N. facility, so do you mind if we move it along please"?