Hello! I'm back in yet another story, one I hope you'll find very funny and amusing! Well, I bring you the first chapter to disaster and humor.
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha
Chapter One: Sesshomaru's Snowbound Lodge
In the cold winter morning, Inuyasha and his companions trudged through the thick snow, seeking shelter. The howling wind bit at their battered bodies and stung their cheeks red with cold. Still, they pressed on, regardless of the weather.
At long last, they sighted a dark shape in the distance. Inuyasha saw with his super sharp eyes that it was a cozy looking little lodge. He heard with his super sharp ears the calling, bitter wind that pressed against him in this freezing place. He smelled with his super sharp nose the wafting of delicious food that came from the little lodge, drifting along lazily in the wind. He felt with his super sharp claws the gentle pulsing of his heart and rush of blood in his hand alone. He tasted with super sharp tongue the saliva in his mouth, and could almost taste the scent in the wind.
"Inuyasha, there's a lodge up ahead," Miroku said, looking at his half-demon companion.
"Yeah, we'll stop there and rest until this blizzard's over," Inuyasha said. Sango sighed gratefully. She didn't know how much longer she could've held out if there had been no lodge.
Miroku smiled and sneaked a little pat on Sango's round behind. Though nobody could see it, she turned scarlet in embarrassment and aimed to whack Miroku's cheek, but due to the blizzard, she could not really see him, and whacked him in the ass instead.
This caused the oh-so-not-gracious monk to pitch face forward in the snow and bang his head against Inuyasha's legs. The half demon tripped over a rock he didn't see and fell down with the extra weight of Miroku's head.
Kagome heard a bunch of thumps, a string of curses, and a yell that she knew was from Sango. She turned around, with Shippo perched elegantly on her shoulder, expecting to see Inuyasha and Miroku on the ground, having been hit by Sango's boomerang, but what she saw through the rapidly clearing blizzard made her fall to the ground in fits of laughter.
Miroku's vision was momentarily busted, so when he looked up at Inuyasha with blurry eyes, he thought he was Sango, and with the butt wide open for an attack from his cursed hand, he stretched forward and began to grope Inuyasha's behind, murmuring, "Will you please bear my child?"
Inuyasha jumped up as if his ass had been set on fire. He turned around, with one eyebrow twitching and the four-point anger anime mark on his forehead. "Are you delirious, you perverted monk?!" he yelled.
"Why, my lovely Sango, can you not see how much I love you?" he said, sighing as if he were in Heaven. Then he noticed something. Where Sango's bottom was round and smooth, this one wasn't as curved or smooth.
And the voice was slightly roughed and had a more masculine tone to it. "Will you get your wandering hands offa my ass?!"
Miroku blinked to clear his vision. He gasped. His hand, who just loved to latch itself to the round, smooth, curvy, soft butts of women, had attached itself magically to Inuyasha's red arse. He jumped back as thought the half demon's butt was poisonous.
"Wh-what was I doing?!" he stammered, his face flushed in embarrassment.
Sango swung her boomerang at him in rage. Just then, the wind blew right back in and, as Sango wasn't expecting it, couldn't see Miroku, thus ending up smacking herself in the face and falling to the snow covered ground.
Kagome got off the ground and started for the snow lodge, with Inuyasha right on her heels, and Shippo balancing precariously on her small shoulder. Sango wobbled a bit as she got up, but headed after them.
Miroku shivered slightly as he hurried after them. "This blizzard has caused too much trouble for us already…" he muttered.
When they reached the lodge, Kagome knocked on the door and said, "May we please come in?"
The oh-so-familiar voice of an oh-so-familiar toad squawked, "Rin, it's that flea brained Inuyasha! Hide quick, while I drive them away from Sesshomaru-sama's lodge!" The door was flung open by an ugly green toad who pointed the staff right into Kagome's chest. "Feel the wrath of – gyaaaaah!"
"Feel the wrath of my foot!" Kagome said, yanking the staff from Jaken's hands and booting him square in the face. The surprised toad gave a cry as he toppled backwards into the lodge.
"Jaken-sama?" The voice of a little girl attracted their attention from the toad.
A little girl wearing an orange and white checkered kimono with a green sash crawled out from under the bed. "Oh!" she exclaimed when she saw Jaken laying on the floor without his staff and a footprint in his face.
"Hello. Are you that child who travels with Sesshomaru?" Kagome asked, setting her bag down. When Rin gave a quick nod, she asked, "Where is Sesshomaru? Do you know where he went, Rin?"
Rin gave an uncomfortable glance at Inuyasha. "Sesshomaru-sama went to find Inubaka," she said, pointing at the half demon.
Inuyasha gave a sputter of protest as Kagome and Sango burst out giggling, "What the hell?! You brat, my name is Inuyasha, not Inubaka!"
"Inubaka, Sesshomaru-sama want to kill you," Rin said.
"You say his name right and not mine?! That's just messed up!" Inuyasha growled, placing his hands on Rin's shoulders and shaking her back and forth. Rin looked as if he had suddenly mutated and grown a second head.
"But…Inubaka's name is Inubaka, right?" she said uncertainly.
"No! Goddamn it, it's Inuyasha! I-nu-ya-sha! Got it, brat?!" he yelled, releasing her.
"Inuyasha…okay, your name is Inuyasha! Can Rin call you Inubaka?" the little girl asked innocently. Inuyasha felt like exploding.
Jaken leaped back to his feet and jabbed Inuyasha hard in the ribs with the staff. "Get out of here before Sesshomaru-sama roasts my head on a platter!" he commanded, thrusting the staff at him at every chance he got.
Inuyasha held up a fist and whacked Jaken on the head. The toad fell to the floor with a goose egg on his head. Rin decided that now was a good time for…
"Inuyasha give Rin a piggyback!" she cried, launching herself on to his back. Inuyasha waved his arms around to keep his balance before settling his hands on her butt to hold her securely.
"Brat, why should I listen to what you say?" he asked, his face scrunched up in a half-snarl.
Rin smiled contentedly and said, "Go, Doggy, go!" And for that, she slapped his back to get him going. Inuyasha unwillingly started to walk around the lodge like a trained dog who people could ride horseback (in this case, dogback).
The door was closed and everyone seemed to be having a good time except for Inuyasha and Jaken…but then the demon who had been formerly absent form the merry little lodge opened the door and walked into the threshold.
Inuyasha jerked to a halt, almost throwing Rin into the wall as he did so. "Sesshomaru-sama, you're back!" Jaken squawked happily.
Sesshomaru observed the scene. The slightest, faintest curve of a ghostly smile showed on his lips. "I see that you've found my lodge, Inuyasha," he said smoothly.
Inuyasha gently lowered Rin to the floor and took a step forward. "So what if we did? Is that a problem with you?" he asked.
Sesshomaru shook his head. "Not at all…just don't get in my way," he answered, reaching to untie the strings that bound his armor together. Once he had taken them off, he lifted the heavy armor from his body, setting them down on the table. He placed his swords alongside with his armor.
All he was left in was his white kimono with the white flower in red pentagon design. He even took off his lovely black boots and set them by the door. He said, "This lodge was originally meant for me and one other guest. Inuyasha, you and your companions will have to dream and drool on the floor."
"Feh, I don't care! All we needed was to get out of that blizzard," Inuyasha snorted, removing the Tetsusaiga from his sash and putting it beside Sesshomaru's Tokijin.
Kagome, Sango, and Miroku were staring at the two of them. "What?! Have I suddenly become a deformed frog in your eyes or something?!" Inuyasha demanded, seeing their strange expressions.
"No, it's just…I've never seen you two be so…nice to each other. I mean, you two are usually so hostile to each other, you want to knock the other's brains out, but now, you seem to be getting along. I find that really odd, that is all," Kagome said.
Inuyasha turned away, snorting, "Ridiculous. I'd love to rip that bastard's throat out right now, but since he's kind enough to give us shelter…which I suppose he does have a heart after all in that frozen exterior of his…I'll stay down for the night."
"A wise choice in my opinion, Inuyasha," Miroku said. "Forgive me for groping you earlier."
"Yeah, and where was your brain that time, monk?! I didn't think you'd be attracted to my ass as much as Sango's!" Inuyasha growled, fighting to grab Miroku's throat and strangle him for his insolent actions.
"Inuyasha, I think we'd better settle down," Kagome said hastily, grabbing Inuyasha's ears to get him away from Miroku. Inuyasha yelped in pain as Kagome dragged him off, holding his precious white, fuzzy appendages.
"Hey, Kagome! Let go of my ears, woman!" he growled, trying to pry her tightly gripped fingers off his ears.
Kagome let go and Inuyasha, realizing that without her he wouldn't hold up, fell promptly flat on his face, his legs going up as he did his face plant. Kagome turned when she heard a plop and saw Inuyasha with his legs up and bent while his face had reacquainted with the floor.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Inuyasha. I thought you could handle yourself," she said. "You're the one wanted me to let go."
Inuyasha jumped up, his face a slight shade of red. "If you had just looked where my trail would've been going, I wouldn't have made a mark in the floor with my face!" he yelled, baring his fangs. Kagome sighed.
"Right, but you're the one told me to let go. Are you sure I'm the one you should be yelling at?" she said dubiously.
"Damn right!" was his immature and rather loud answer.
Sango and Miroku were both nodding off by the cozy little fire that Sesshomaru had lit. Sango blinked sleepily at Inuyasha and Kagome's blurry forms and mumbled, "I'm going to dreamland…g'night…" and her head fell forward on to her chest.
Kagome tilted her head. "Wow…Sango can sure fall asleep fast," she remarked.
"It's expected, after all, she is human," Inuyasha said.
Kagome rolled her eyes at him and muttered consequently, "I'm off to bed too. Good night, Inuyasha." She walked over to where Sango and Miroku were sleeping and lay down beside her sister-like friend.
Inuyasha huffed indignantly before going to sit with his back to the wall. He soon nodded off. Shippo had leaped into Sango's lap and fallen asleep there. Sesshomaru could hear their steady, even breathing from where he was.
He got up and walked into the room where the group of Shikon shard hunters lay, blissfully dreaming about little things. He walked over to where Kagome lay, her raven hair falling over her shoulder as she rolled over.
Unconsciously, his clawed hand found its way to her cheek, where he brushed aside a few strands of hair that shielded her face. She's beautiful, for a human, he remarked wryly.
He withdrew his hand and headed back to his room, wondering if the next day would be as boring as the last.
The next morning found Kagome awake as she opened her brilliant sapphire eyes to the dimly lit lodge. The weather hadn't let up, and at any rate, they wouldn't be able to leave the lodge until the blizzard had gone.
Quietly, she got up to look for something to eat. When she reached the small kitchen in the lodge, she was surprised to see Sesshomaru up and moving. He looked up as she entered, his intense golden glance sizing up her petite frame.
She let out a squeak of terror as he focused on her. She felt as if she had intruded on him. "I…I was just looking for something edible in here," she managed to say. He raised an elegant silver eyebrow when she sputtered.
"Is that why you've decided to come here?" he asked, fully turning his attention to her.
"Yes," she said, sighing after she looked away, her cheeks red.
He let out a small chuckle. He looked back at the apple he happened to be slicing to pieces a minute ago with a knife. Wait, a knife? Couldn't he have just used his claws to shred the puny reddish-yellow fruit that lay on the counter, helplessly awaiting its doom?
Kagome looked at him again, watching with a curiosity in her eyes as she watched the sleek muscles in his arm move with every movement. He felt her stare at him, or particularly, his arm. He smiled secretly, and let her gaze at him. It would be worth it.
After he finished, he placed the slices on a platter and set it down in front of Kagome. "Something for you to eat, so you don't go hungry," he said, sitting down at the table she had sat down to.
Kagome blushed. "Thank you," she said weakly, picking up a slice to nibble on.
When she finished with a slice, both she and Sesshomaru reached for a piece, but their hands connected on the same slice. They looked at each other, as if daring the other to do something about it. Sesshomaru seemed to have taken off his mask of 'Touch-me-and-die' while Kagome was simply arguing with her heart about who she seemed more attracted to, Inuyasha or the silver-haired hottie that sat in front of her, touching her hand.
They both leaned forward, ready to accept their fate when footsteps sounded and a rough voice asked, "What the fuck is going on here?" It was Inuyasha. He was staring the two, his eyes demanding an explanation of why the two of them were about to kiss.
Kagome withdrew her hand quickly and almost fell over backwards. Sesshomaru quietly took the slice of the apple and chomped it down in one gulp. "We wanted the same…apple slice," Kagome said.
"Kagome, I want to know why you were on the verge of kissing my bastard of a brother," Inuyasha asked, stepping forward, his eyes narrowed.
Kagome's eyes widened, then started to narrow. "Inuyasha…" she said in a slightly sweet tone.
He huffed, "What? Do I have a wart in the middle of my forehead or are you just compromising yourself by being with my cold-hearted popsicle of a brother? Or are you thinking that you two can just elope away from here?"
Kagome was furious. She stood up swiftly, a murderous flame of an aura raging around her. "What's it to you?! Is it wrong to be with a demon without you?! Can't I let myself out of your sight for some time?!" she screamed, glaring at him.
Inuyasha jabbed an accusing finger at her. "That doesn't give you an excuse to be with him! Who knows what the fuck you're going to do, with you two alone?!" he asked shakily. He was slightly afraid of Kagome when she exploded on him.
Sesshomaru watched this scene with amusement dancing in his eyes. The little miko had a real fiery temper. It was amusing to watch. Although it seemed that they had forgotten he was here.
"Inuyasha, would you kindly walk your half-demonic ass out of here? She and I are in the middle of devouring apples," Sesshomaru said.
He cast one glare at his half-brother before turning and marching out of the room. "Fine, you two lovey-dovey yourselves to your heart's content," he said, disappearing around the corner.
"Now, where were we?" Sesshomaru said, turning his attention back to Kagome.
"Like you said, we were eating apples," Kagome said, softening her tone of voice. She sat down and enjoyed herself as much as she could. They didn't get close up together again that morning.
XXX
I hope you liked it. If I get reviews, I'll update. Ja ne!
MF15