I watched the footsteps fading behind the door, thumping down the stairs nosily. I was still aware of what happened earlier. My body is stained with patches of blue and black, my hair a mess. It was the same everyday, but I could never get used to the things my mother made me do. I clutched my clothes closer to my chest, feeling the ragged beats of my heart through the soft fabric. My legs felt weak, like they were going to fail me anytime. My left eye is swollen shut by the fist of the man I had to 'entertain'. The pain I felt between my legs is unbearable. He had tried to insert foreign things into my vagina, anything to make me cry. I slowly crawled through the cold floor on my sore knees, desperately wanting to find the delicate embrace my bed gave. I know it sounds silly, but my bed is the closest thing I have to love. O tried my best to reach for the brass doorknob, but my palms wouldn't stop shaking. I stretched my arm further, but a ripping pain spreader across my shoulders, all the way down to my spine.
"Argh." I cringed, recoiling back to my normal position and gripped both my shoulders tightly with my arms. I closed my eyes and let out a long sigh. Just when I was about to make another attempt at the door, it burst open with such force that my hands automatically reached up to shield my face from whoever, whatever.
"How much did you make today, you lil' whore? her voice made my ears hurt, the harshness of it all.
My feet touched the cold metal of a coin and I pushed it in her direction without looking at her bloodred eyes. I could feel her eyes trained on me as she counted the money, the soft clinking my only comfort now. I waited for her to give me something to eat, like she always doe at the end of the day. I have never expected anything decent from her and definitely not today.
"He cheated!" she shouted, banging her fist against the wooden wall above my head. I shook with fear as her wild eyes locked with mine. She continued to stare and I wondered if I was going to bed with an empty stomach again tonight. She finally got tired of looking at me and decided to leave the room.
A wave of relief rushed through my body as I realized she didn't hit me tonight. My stomach grumbled, but I told myself it was gonna be an empty one tonight. I got to my feet as I slowly fumbled through the dark room, determined to get to the light that was leaking through a crack in the door. I felt lightheaded and dizzy by the time I reached the door and quickly grabbed the doorknob for support. I heard light footsteps tap across the floor outside and stopped just right outside the door. The door was pushed open and a small head cornered at the edge of it. My heart leaped as the sight of my little sister brought a warm feeling of joy into my shattered heart.
"Hey." she jerked her head back an inch but slowly came back in, this time her whole body visible in the faint yellow light.
"Sara? Mummy asked me to bring this to you." I knew she had been crying again, because her eyes looked puffy and her voice sounded hoarse. She held out a glass of warm milk and a plate of stale cookies in my direction. I knew it wasn't much, but it was definitely a treat. She watched silently as I gobbled down the cookies hungrily, not bothering if I messed the attic floor, because she'd told me she would clean it later. She was staring at me with wide eyes, like I was an animal that had been let out of it's cage to search for prey.
"I'm sorry." I wiped the milk that was dripping from my chin with a dirty handkerchief.
"It's okay, you're hungry." she patted my shoulder and moved up to brush away the cookie crumbs that were still stuck on my tattered blouse.
I swallowed nervously as she picked up the empty glass and plate and walked out the door.
"Thank you." I called after her, hoping she'd hear my appreciation, but got no reply.
I made a promise that night, that one day I would leave this wretched house with my little sister and live happily ever after. The only woman that was in our way to that happiness is you guessed it, my mother