This is in continuation of "My Infatuation" and is also an interesting conversation I had a little while back. Some of this is something I felt and said, some of it someone else.
I'm quite proud of this work. It kinda shows meaning in the thought process of relationships from one party.
Tell me what you think :D
Disclaimer: (do I REALLY need to state this..) I don't own anything... But I do own this story ;p
My fingers tap on the steering wheel impatiently. How long have I been waiting here?
I look over at the clock on the radio, mumbling to myself for my impatience. It's not like I have anywhere to be, I'm a bounty hunter; I go where I want and when I want.
Then I look at you.
The car door opens up, in climbs a small blonde with a large brown bag full of food.
"I got the food Nadie." The small girl blinked blankly at the driver waiting for a response.
"Alright let's get going." Smiled Nadie, cranking the car.
Hours seemed to pass by as I rattle my brain, churning it in a pool of confused thoughts- all the while I feel slightly nervous around you every time you stare at me... Well then again just about every second I'm with you.
Nadie turned her head to look at the girl next to her. The girl's crystal blue eyes swimming with what looked to be a thousand questions, or maybe just one really hard one.
"What?" Grinned the chuckling driver, somewhat amused at the younger occupant who responded by tilting her head slightly.
I watch you as you redirect your eyes to the road not making any attempt to ask the question you most clearly had.
What is it about you that fascinates me so? How come during the many hours I spent apart from you during my housing sitting I found myself randomly thinking about what you could be doing?
The small blonde simply shrugged.
"Well, then how 'bout some music to give us something to listen to other than quiet?" Nadie asked reaching to switch on the power as Ellis just turned her head out the side of the red jeep.
Why do you seem so unbelievably distant yet undesirably reachable? It's like I want to pry into how I could make you smile, but I resist the urge to ask. It's not like I'm worried that you're not happy with me, but...
The radio crackled a little as the power sparked through the wires.
"That was 'It's Not Over' by Daughtry and we have a caller that wanted to ask something. Go ahead caller, what's your name?" The announcer chimed happily.
"Well I wanted to ask you something: Is it possible to fall in love with someone that you've only ever talked to and never met in person?"
"Well, that's a very good question. What defines your definition of 'fall in love'?"
"Geez, the first time in weeks I listen to the radio and it's gonna turn into talk radio." Complained Nadie as she reached to change the station, but then her eyes caught onto the little girl in the next seat staring down at the radio. "You want to listen to this?"
The only response was a nod.
"That's the thing. The definitions of 'falling in love' and just 'love' confuse me."
"Oh, wait. Looks like we have another caller."
"Yes, why do people always assume that just because you say the word 'love' that means that you're 'in love'? Why can you just really care about people and like them a lot without being assumed to be 'in love'?"
"That leads back the question of what is love." Reaffirmed the announcer.
"I think it's a stronger form of like, really." Spoke caller one, finally being put on the conference call.
"But isn't a stronger form of like just considered infatuation?" Recoiled the second caller.
My eyes carry over to Ellis-herself sporting a thoughtful look.
"Then would infatuation apply to unrequited love?" Questioned the first caller.
"I hate to say it, but if you fall in love and it's unrequited, is it really love in the first place or just a stronger infatuation you wish could happen?" Asked the announcer.
I felt a strong pain go through my heart, and I didn't know why.
"Just because love is unrequited it doesn't mean it's not love." Retorted called two.
"True, but it's still something that can't and or won't happen." Reasoned the first caller.
"Okay, so what's the difference then if you have infatuation and real love?" Caller two started to sound annoyed.
"If you're infatuated with someone they're on your mind 24/7, you can't help but talk about them all the time."
Great... so now I seem like a stalker. I roll my eye unconsciously, glancing over, once again, at my passenger. Her head was tilted to the side looking at me questionably.
"Wouldn't infatuation be more like a state of being completely carried away by unreasoned passion or love; addictive love. Usually, one is inspired with an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone." Caller two smugly declared.
Or in other words, you really like someone and can't get them out of your mind. Now I feel even more like a stalker.
"You sound like a dictionary." Muttered the announcer.
"I guess that makes sense, but..."
"Then how about being in love?"
My thoughts echo on the words 'being in love'.
"Falling in love?"
"Yeah, how can you tell them apart?"
"The way I see it: you feel nervous around them all the time, second guess what you're going to say, get jealous, wonder how they are at random times in the day. That's what I think being is love is. What do you think?"
I froze in place, hands gripping tighter on the steering wheel. Could love really be like that?
"That sounds like the beginning of love to me 'cus when you're in love, to me, you are in a state where you feel you want to spend the rest of your life with the person whom your affection is directed to."
I could have sworn out of the corner of my eye I saw a slight movement, but that was wasn't on my mind.
Could what they were saying be true?
The radio announcer cut in again, "Alright hold that thought you two. We will back after a few short messages." There was a short charm of music and the annoying commercials started up.
Something in me was not wanting to hear more, but I wouldn't dare to turn off. Why was I so interested in knowing what love wa. I knew my attraction was just infatuation....
"Nadie?"
Or was it unrequited love?
"Yes Ellis?" A smile tickled at the edge of the brunette's lips
"How come none of your relationships worked out?"
Was she really asking me this?
"I don't know." The brunette leaned her elbow on the door and her chin on her hand. "Maybe because things always became rushed?"
Or maybe because everyone I dated seemed to be like a heavy shackle clinging firmly to my leg...
"Then why do they say 'Good things only come to those that wait' and yet people rush into relationships?"
"Because people want more out of what they have. Most of the time people who jump are infatuated."
Yet I know I'm infatuated, why am I not rushing?
"So does that mean that people in love have self control?"
"It's either that or they are waiting for the other party to realize they are either in love with them or that they have really strong feelings for them."
Am I waiting?
"Then how long is too long to wait?"
"Well, long waits can sometimes never accomplish their goals because people miss a lot of things. Then again, everything happens for a reason."
Am I waiting for her to notice my infatuation?
No it can't be. I'm just consumed by her mysteriousness.
The young girl turned her head out the window mumbling, "I wonder if the thing 'love is blind' is also about how people miss it? Like it can be staring them in the face but they have no idea?"
The driver's eyes widen at the words that came out of her companion.
Am I not infatuated with her?
"Even still, people will wait long amounts of time and still never get what they want. If the thing they want to try and not pass up is coming at them, they will still miss it because they are not looking at all the other options available to them. Then you have those that don't over look anything."
The blonde simply shrugged. "Then just take everything in strides and stop looking so far ahead or too far behind."
"That would be simple but not everyone can get everything they want. The trick is to love and cherish what you have and aim for what you need to survive and what makes you happy."
What makes me happy?
"So the moral is: take what you're given cause you will only get just that. Wanting more is just being needy; yet wanting more will drive you. In the end, you will only get what will happen so be happy with it."
"That's not what I said at all, but it depends on what you want more in."
Is she mocking me?
"Well that was just a sadistic twist to what you just said. Wanting more can just be applied to anything."
"If you want a better job, then good. If you want more out of your relationship, then you will have to ask your partner."
Do I want more?
There was a soft silence among the passengers.
Why do I feel so pained by her words?
Why is it I feel like I've been waiting?
Did I really want more out of this?
Do I want her for the rest of my life?
Or is this all some illusion or my infatuation?
The brunette looked over at the blonde digging through the bag on her lap. A ping of happiness overwhelmed her body.
I want to see her happy. Her happiness makes me happy.
A smile tickled her lips as she watch the joy of her companion's delight of finding what she was looking for, but dropped suddenly as the realization unbeknown to the passenger.
Am I really infatuated?
"Here Nadie, want some." The young woman hand over a taco to the driver who smiled, nodded, and accepted the deliciously filled munchy.
Is this love?
This is un-beta-ed so if you see any mistakes, I'm sorry. Just send me a message and I will fix them because I'm not the best grammar person (or spelling) in the world. PLEASE let me know though. I hate mistakes ;p
Thanks for reading, please review and tell me what you think. I might continue writing on this confuse for awhile.
OR
I might put some humor in for once.
Tell me what you think or want ^_^