New Friends New Foes Trigun Meets Yugioh!

by Astrostar

Have you ever wondered what would happen if Vash played Duel Monsters? Or if Wolfwood ever met Kaiba? Now, Vash,Joey,Yugi & Wolfwood must overcome the evils of Kaiba and Legato. Or as Wolfwood calls them the blue & brown squirrels. Or what would Kaiba do

WE DO NOT OWN TRIGUN. WE DO NOT OWN YUGIOH!

EDITOR'S NOTE: In this story Legato is playing the role of Knives.

CAUTION: DO NOT READ this if you like Squirrels. Find out at the end why we hate squirrels.

Trigun Meets Yugioh! New Friends and Foes

By: Joey Wheeler and Seto Kaiba

Vash and Wolfwood enter and see Joey and Yugi. Joey of course is eating a box of doughnuts.

Joey spots Vash and Wolfwood.

Joey: Between bites. "Hey, who are you?! Vash is eyeing the doughnuts. MY DOUGHNUTS!!!"

Vash: "Um? Doughnuts..." tries to grab the doughnut box away from Joey

Fighting over the doughnut box breaks out between Vash and Joey.

Wolf: breaking in between Vash and Joey "Don't mind him he's just..... stupid."

Joey: thinking Wolf is referring to him "WHAT?!!?"

Yugi: to Vash and Wolf "Who are you people and what are you doing here?"

Wolfwood leans on Vash's shoulder.

Wolf: to Yugi "Just exploring. This stupid person here is Vash and I'm Nicholas D. Wolfwood but my friends call me Wolf."

Kaiba enters. Vash and Wolfwood mistake Kaiba for Knives.

Kaiba: "Well, well, well. The geek squad isn't together for a change. I guess some things are possible. Now, let's see now, if Wheeler can get a brain."

Vash has a doughnut in his mouth and is confused. Joey sticks out his fist towards Kaiba.

Joey: to Kaiba "What's it to you, Kaiba? What have we done?"

Vash grabs Kaiba's collar, points his gun at Kaiba's face and Wolfwood has his gun pointed and ready as well.

Vash: to Kaiba going nuts "I finally found you Knives! There's no escaping this time!!"

Kaiba: to Vash "What do I look like silverware? Who's Knives?"

Wolf: to Kaiba "Don't think coloring your hair brown can change anything, Harry Potter!!"

Kaiba: to Vash and Wolf "I'm Seto Kaiba you fools!!!"

Yugi: to Vash and Wolf "Guys, Kaiba's not this weirdo named Knives."

Vash lets go of Kaiba's collar and lowers his gun. Wolfwood lowers his cross and Kaiba exits thinking these people are mental. Yugi notices the cross.

Yugi: to Wolf "What are you........ a priest?"

Wolf: to Yugi. Turns his head left to right slowly, checking around him, and said "Yes."

Joey: to Vash and Wolf "By the way I'm Joey Wheeler the Great."

Yugi: to Vash and Wolf in a small voice "And I'm Yugi."

Wolf and Vash: to Joey and Yugi "Pleased to meet you."

The four of them walk to a doughnut shop, across the street from Kaiba Corps. and sit at a table.

Yugi: to Vash "So, Vash..... what's your back round?"

Vash: Vash is silent for a moment and then replies "I'm just.... puts his head down I was at one point a wanted man.... but now I try to stay out of fights."

Wolf: to Yugi and Joey "I'm just a wanderer who carries a cross to protect myself."

Yugi looks at his watch.

Yugi: to Joey "We have to pick up our duel disks, Joey."

Vash and Wolf: confused "What's a duel disk?"

On the way to the store Yugi explains what a duel disk is. While Joey is stuffing his face with doughnuts on the way.

Yugi: to Vash and Wolf "A duel disk is a special disk designed by Kaiba Corps. to bring the card game, Duel Monsters (Magic and Wizards) to life as holograms."

Joey and Yugi get there duel disks and put them on and try to give Vash and Wolfwood an example but receive a nasty shock instead.

Yugi: "What the heck?! What's wrong with these things?!"

Joey: doing peace sign to Yugi "You O.K, Yug?"

Yugi: to Joey "We have to tell Kaiba about this, this can be very dangerous."

Joey: to Yugi "O, come on. Do we have to go to that Kaiba creepy Corps."

Vash: to Yugi "How do you play Duel Monsters?"

Yugi: to Vash "Here I can teach you. to Joey Joey, let Vash borrow your deck."

Sitting on the side walk. Joey and Wolfwood watch as Yugi and Vash play.

Vash: "I play Dark Hole in attack mode!"

Yugi: to Vash "You can't play Spell cards in the Monster Zone."

Yugi rattles off all the rules to Vash. Then Yugi and Vash begin a new game.

Vash: "I place Red Eyes Black Dragon face down in my Trap/Spell Zone."

Wolf: to Vash "Man, you're dumb. Even I get it and I wasn't even playing."

Vash: to Wolf "You know what?! You better shut up or I'll crucify you!!"

Yugi and Vash stop playing. All of them head towards Kaiba Corps. They get to Kaiba's office on the 13th floor. Only Yugi and Joey go in. Vash and Wolfwood stay outside the office. The office is empty.

Joey: dumbfounded "Oh, we came here for nothing?? grinning Let's mess with Kaiba's office."

Joey sits down on Kaiba's office chair pulls out a cigar from one of the drawers and puts one in his mouth. Starts spinning around in the office chair.

Joey: "Look at me I'm Kaiba. I'm a big spoiled brat. Give me a raise."

Joey pushes the office chair over to the security camera in the corner of the room. Joey stands on top of the office chair with his back facing the security camera.

Joey: "Good thing this is not a security camera... or I wouldn't be doing this."

Joey pulls down his pants and his doughnut boxers are showing. Joey begins to moon the security camera.

Yugi: to Joey "Joey..... that's a security camera."

Joey stops quickly pulls his pants up and jumps off the office chair.

Joey: "Oh, s!! Kaiba's going to see that I just know it."

Yugi: to Joey "Let's get out of here." Trying to hold back a laugh.

Back in the hallway....

Joey: to Vash and Wolf "He wasn't there."

Wolf: to Joey "What the hell was going on in there?!"

Joey: to Wolf nervous "Uh.... nothing..... Cigar?"

Wolfwood takes the cigar and puts it in his pocket.

Vash looks at Yugi.

Yugi: to Vash "You don't want to know. Trust me." Holding in a laugh.

Then a stranger is walking down the hallway further down. Joey thinking its Kaiba walks down there calling his name.

Joey: to stranger yelling "HEY KAIBA!! Pause. HEY CREEP!! Pause. HEY STUPID!! Pause. HEY UGLY!! Pause. HEY DUMBO!!"

The stranger keeps walking away from Joey not looking back at Joey. Joey runs up to the stranger and now is right behind him.

Joey: to stranger in tough voice "Hey, how come you don't look at me when I talk to you for once?"

The stranger turns around and turns out to be a Kaiba with blue hair. Vash and Wolfwood of course know who this person is and are getting ready to protect Joey even through they are down the hall away from Joey.

Joey: to blue haired stranger "Did you like have paint dumped on you?"

Vash: yelling and warning Joey "JOEY! WATCH OUT! IT'S NOT KAIBA!!!"

Joey turns around to face Vash down the hall.

Joey: to Vash "It sure is ugly enough to be Kaiba."

The blue haired stranger grabs Joey by the neck with a firm grip. Has the muzzle of the gun on the back of Joey's head.

Joey: Thinking "Why is he poking me?"

Joey turns his head around and now has the muzzle of the gun pointed at his forehead.

Joey: Thinking "All dear, God!"

Vash: to blue haired stranger yelling "I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU HURT ANYMORE OF MY FRIENDS, KNIVES!!!!!! real low tone Like what you did to my friend, Rem."

Yugi: to Vash "Who's Rem?"

Vash: to Yugi almost crying "Rem, was my friend who sacrificed herself to save the rest of mankind..... but Knives had her sacrifice herself like that purposely."

Knives: to Vash "She got what she deserved."

Vash: to Knives yelling "YOU BASTARD!!!"

At this Wolfwood clicks his cross along with Vash and his gun and points at Knives who is still pointing at Joey.

Wolf: to Knives threaten tone "You're going to die now Knives for saying that!! And for everything else you did!!"

Knives starts to laugh sarcastically

Knives: to Wolf and Vash "By all means go ahead and shoot me.... but my trigger might accidentally fire and kill your friend here before the bullets hit me..." snicker

Yugi: worried "He wouldn't."

Wolf: to Yugi "He would."

Yugi: to Vash and Wolf "Then you can't shoot and risked Joey's life!"

Vash lowers his gun. Wolfwood is surprised.

Wolf : to Vash "You're not going to let that stop you?!"

Vash: to Wolf "We can't risk his life like this."

Wolf: to Vash "So, you're just going to let him take him?!?"

Vash: to Wolf "We have no choice ... not now at least."

Wolfwood still has his cross aimed at Knives.

Vash: to Wolf "Put it down, Wolf. Pause. commanding tone Put it down! Do you want to risk his life like this and lose him? We can help him later."

Wolfwood puts his cross down. Wolfwood still wants to shoot Knives and Vash is worried about Joey getting hurt because of him.

Knives: to Wolf and Vash "Wise choice."

Knives still holding Joey by the neck and pointing the muzzle at Joey's forehead begins to walk backwards up some stairs and is gone. Wolfwood is frustrated in not helping.

Wolf: angry loud tone and kicking his cross "DAMN!!!!"

Meanwhile...... Knives took Joey up on the roof of Kaiba Corps and ties Joey up in this big chair next to Kaiba.

Kaiba: looking at Wheeler as Joey's being tied up. "Great, I've got to die next to a dog."

Joey: to Kaiba "Oh, shut up! You're going to die ugly. to Knives in a challenging voice Hey, you've got just one gun. What are you going to do? Shoot us one at a time??"

At that Knives reaches into his trench coat and pulls out another gun. One gun pointed at each of them.

Kaiba: to Knives "Good answer."

Joey: to Kaiba questionable/ surprised tone "Whose side are you on anyways?"

Meanwhile.... Vash, Wolfwood and Yugi followed up the stairs Knives went and came to a locked metal door.

Yugi: "How are going to break this down?"

Wolfwood clears his throat and points at his cross. Vash and Yugi jump out of the way. Wolfwood blows the door to smithereens. Knives sees them in the corner of his eye.

Knives: to Vash "Vashy come to play?"

Now back to Kaiba and Joey who are about to be killed by Knives right next to each other.

Joey: to Kaiba in a whispering voice "Psssst. Kaiba. Kaiba looks at Joey in the corner of his eye. I have a swiss army knife in my pocket."

Kaiba: to Joey in a whispering tone "Who are you? MacGyver?"

Joey: whispering back to Kaiba "Don't you wanna live?"

Kaiba: Pause

Joey: whispering to Kaiba "Don't you wanna see ya brother? Hey, if you don't mind go ahead and die. I'll just take care of your brother and raise him to be like me and act like me and look like me and eat donuts like me and...."

Kaiba: whispering and interrupting Joey "Hell no!"

Joey: whispering to Kaiba "O.K. then I'm going to get us out of here."

Joey gets his swiss army knife out of his back pocket and slowly and sneakily cuts the ropes without Knives noticing. Just then Knives tries to shoot them and Joey and Kaiba at the last possible second jump out of the chair and are now both stuck by the ledge of the building with no place to go but down and Knives walks towards them slowly. With Wolfwood, Vash and Yugi sneaking behind Knives.

Kaiba: to Joey "You're so smart, now what do we do?"

Joey: to Kaiba "I'll think of something."

Kaiba: to Joey "Think? Don't you have to know the meaning of the word in order to do that?"

Joey: to Kaiba mad tone "I wish you were dead. Or do you want to go back to the lab and get your bolts tighten? to Knives in a begging sort of tone Do the honors, will ya?" pointing to Kaiba

Wolf: to Joey "Just keep it kool, Joey. tune to "Cool" from Westside Story. Wolf snapping fingers. Boy, boy, crazy boy. Get cool boy. Got a rocket in your pocket. Keep cooly cool, boy. Don't get hot. Cause, man you got some high times ahead. Take it slow, and daddy-o. You can live it up and die in bed. Boy, boy crazy boy. Stay loose boy. Breeze it, buzz it, easy does it. Turn off the juice boy. Go, man go. But not like a yo-yo schoolboy. Just play it cool, boy. Real cool........"

Vash: breaking in. to Wolf. in an upset tone. "SHUT UP! Hits Wolf on the back of his head with his gun THIS IS SERIOUS!!"

Joey: to Kaiba "I have a plan."

Kaiba: to Joey "Not another one of your meathead ideas."

Knives smirks

Joey: to Kaiba angry tone again "Does it look like my head tastes like a meatball?!"

Kaiba: to Joey "Baka! (Idiot) It means dead from the neck up!!"

Joey: to himself "O.K. I'm not going to let Kaiba get to me. to Yugi Yug, got any rocks?"

Yugi: to Joey in a questionable tone "Yeah......."

Joey: to Vash "Have any rubber bands?"

Vash: to Joey just as confused as Yugi "Yeah."

Joey: "Does anyone have any sticks?"

Wolf: to Joey "I have two cigars I was saving for later."

Joey: to Wolf "Mmmmm. Good enough."

Joey sticks out two fingers up high and pretends to pull an imaginary string in between his two fingers with his other hand.

Vash: completely clueless "What?"

Wolfwood now completed the sling shot out of a rubber band, two cigars and a rock.

Joey continues movement with fingers because he sees Vash doesn't get it and didn't see what Wolfwood is holding. Then Joey stops making the movement and points at Wolfwood. Vash looks at what's in Wolfwood's hand.

Vash: in an 'I got it' tone and loud "Ohhhhh, you what us to make a sling shot!!"

Wolfwood launches the rock and without turning around Knives fires his gun and destroys the rock in mid air. Joey's jaw opens, kneels down and has his fingers curled up and lets out a disappointed groan.

Kaiba: "What happened? I blinked and I missed it."

Joey looks at Kaiba and groans disappointedly again.

Knives: to Joey "That's right, bow down before your master."

Joey: to Vash angrily "Vash, you stupid BLONDE!!"

Kaiba: to Joey "Someone's a hypocrite."

Vash: to Joey yelling "Your mom's blonde too, so shut up!!" Vash gives Joey the pinky finger. (In the US it's the middle finger)

Joey: to Vash "You don't even know my mom so you shut up!!!!"

Kaiba and Knives: yelling together at Vash and Joey "BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!!"

Yugi: to Vash and Wolf "Guys we have to think of something."

Wolf: to Yugi "Will you take that duel disk off?"

Yugi: little light bulb above his head "That's it the duel disk! to Joey Joey, I've figured out a way to get you both out of this mess."

Joey: to Yugi "What?"

Yugi: to Joey "You'll see."

Wolf: whispering to Yugi "Yugi you can use my cross to power up your duel disk to 10 million volts even Knives couldn't survive that."

Yugi: to Wolf "O.K."

Wolfwood starts powering up Yugi's duel disk behind Knives' back. Knives still has his eye on Joey and Kaiba and his fingers on the trigger.

Joey: thinking to himself "What are they doing? little doughnut appears above his head. to Kaiba Hey, Kaiba, what they're doing they're recharging....."

Kaiba: interrupting Joey "I know what they're doing, Wheeler. I think unlike you, Wheeler. Are you going to let Knives know again? Then Vash will be calling you the stupid blonde."

Knives: to Joey "No, please do go on...."

Joey: acting dumb to Knives "I don't know what they're doing cause I have no clue."

Kaiba: to Joey "You have no brains is more like it."

Yugi: to Joey and Kaiba "Will you two stop fighting. You're in no position to start unless you want to get killed."

Vash: to Joey agreeing with Yugi "Yeah, Pause. what the porcupine on fire said."

Knives: "Well, I find their bickering quite amusing."

Knives turns one hand around and without looking behind him starts shooting at the duel disk, five times. The duel disk falls apart.

Wolf: in slow motion "Ohhhh........... crappppp."

Narrator: "Only Wolf didn't say crap he said the "f" triple dash word." - from A Christmas Story

Yugi now does the disappointed groan along with the curved fingers.

Vash: to Wolf "Wolf don't say things like that. Points to camera. Little kids are watching us."

Pause.

Vash gets in front of camera and now is all suspicious.

Joey: "All great , this is the end."

Joey starts singing "This is the end"

Kaiba: to Joey interrupting him "I what to die in peace!"

Joey: to Kaiba "That would be impossible because you have to live with yourself."

Kaiba: to Joey "I rather die with myself than next to you."

Joey: to Kaiba "I think in your past life you were a donkey."

Wolf: to Kaiba "You ASS."

Joey: to himself "THINK.... THINK..... like in Jimmy Neutron THINK....."

Kaiba: interrupting Joey "Gee, that's a new world record for you."

Joey: still doing the Jimmy Neutron thing "THINK... THINK..... THINK....."

Kaiba: interrupting him again "Well, you've finally done it, Wheeler. You lost your marbles, flipped your lid, and went over the deep end. I thought you did that years ago."

Joey: to Kaiba "Your mama's deep end!"

Joey: "I've got nothing."

Kaiba: to Joey "You've never had anything to begin with."

Knives: "That's it! Your bickering is now boring me to tears now. You are now dead." gun click

Joey: shouting out "I never got laid by Mai!!"

Everybody just stares at Joey. Knives freezes when Joey said that.

Vash: to Joey "For once Joey, I'm glad you're stupid."

Joey: thinking he's dead. Sees Kaiba. "Wait, a minute..... I can't be in heaven... pointing to Kaiba he's here."

Yugi: to Knives "Knives, why are you doing this to our friends? What do you what from us?"

Wolf: sarcastic "Maybe he wants to conquer an army of Smurfs." (funny looking little blue people)

Knives: to Yugi "Since you won't be around after I'm though with your "friends" I'll tell you. To kill every human being on the face of the Earth!"

Joey: to Kaiba nicely "Well, Kaiba..... this is it. You weren't all that bad. I mean sure you were a pain in the ass all the time and you always picked on me but you really weren't all that bad."

Kaiba: to Joey "Oh, that was a nice thing to say."

Joey: to Kaiba(yelling) "Come on, we're going to die! Don't you have anything nice to say about me?!"

Kaiba: to Joey "You weren't so bad either, Wheel, Pause. Jjjjjooooooeeeeeeee...."

Joey: to Kaiba "Yes, keep it coming."

Kaiba: to Joey "Jjjjjjjjoooooeeeeeee. Pause. Joey." Pause.

Yugi: shocked tone "He said his first name!"

Wolf: rolling his eyes behind his sunglasses "Oh, wow."

Joey: to Kaiba angry tone "Why, you wait till the last minute?! We're going to die dummy!! Pause Relax tone Ahhh, forget about it."

Then a water substance drips down from Kaiba's eyes down his cheeks.

Joey: to Kaiba "Uh, your face is leaking." staring at Kaiba's face

Knives: to Kaiba "Oh, look at the little baby crying."

Joey: looking at Kaiba disbelief tone "He's crying?"

Vash: to Joey sarcastic tone "No, he's peeing from his face."

Joey: to Kaiba "Kaiba, I don't mean to insult you but you actually have a heart of some kind."

Knives: "Take a picture. It'll last longer."

Knives shoots at Joey and Kaiba. The bullet aimed at Joey, goes though the top of his hair. Kaiba gets shot in his foot. Kaiba is hopping around on one foot while holding the other saying:

"Ite-te-te-te-te-te-te-te!" (Which translates to "Ow, ow, ow")

Joey: frustrated and outraged at Knives "NO, ONE MESSES WITH THE "DO" AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!!!"

Joey has had enough and uses his duel disk to shock Knives and Knives fell over the building.

Joey: frustrated "ALL THIS TIME I COULD HAVE USED THIS DUEL DISK!!"

Yugi: quietly "He's finally gone."

Vash walks over to the edge of the building looks down searching for Knives but of course he isn't at the bottom. Wolfwood is enraged.

Kaiba: to Joey enraged "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, WHEELER THAT I GOT A BULLET IN MY FOOT!!"

Joey: to Kaiba mad tone "Well, I got a hole in my head!"

Kaiba: to Joey "How's that any different? You're full of air holes."

Yugi: sighing to himself. "Some things never change. Breaks in between Kaiba's and Joey's fighting. Yelling. "STOP YELLING AND FIGHTING AT EACH OTHER!! BEFORE YOU WERE ACTING LIKE FRIENDS!! I HOPE BOTH OF YOU SIT ON THE TOILET FOR A WEEK!!!!"

Kaiba: to Yugi "That's why they invented Pepto Bismol."

Vash: uneasy feeling tone "Guys, something's wrong. Pause. I think he's still out there."

Joey: to Vash "There's no way he could have survived. He fell off the side of the building and went Joey claps his hands hard "splat"."

Wolfwood on the account that Knives isn't dead he decides to take his anger out on Kaiba cause duh, he looks like Knives. What better way to hurt Kaiba than do something to his company?

Wolf: to Joey "You don't know Knives. Wolf is looking at Kaiba's "KC" on the building.

to Kaiba "Hey, Kaiba, does your building say "KC" or "K"?"

Kaiba: to Wolf "What are you blind as a bat? It says "KC"."

Wolfwood points his cross at the "C" in "KC" and blows the "C" in Kaiba Corps. up.

Wolf: to Kaiba acting cool and leaning on cross "Now, it's says "K"."

At this Kaiba grabs Wolfwood's cross and tosses the cross over the side of the building. Wolfwood runs to try and save his cross but can only hopelessly watch as the cross crashes to the sidewalk below. Wolfwood just stands there for a minute stunned. Vash's expression is like he did a bad thing. Yugi and Joey are not really surprised at what Kaiba did and Kaiba's expression is like a sarcastic boo hoo. Wolfwood turns around slowly towards Kaiba and Wolfwood is twitching. Wolfwood yanks Kaiba by his collar.

Wolf: to Kaiba "If I had the cross, I would nail you to it."

Then Wolfwood tosses Kaiba over the side of Kaiba Corps. Vash and Wolfwood look over the side of the building but don't see Kaiba at the bottom either.

Wolf: angry/ surprised tone "Where'd that son of a b go?!?"

Vash: to Wolf "Maybe they're one."

Wolf: "Well, they look the same. They're UGGGLLLYYY."

Yugi: upset tone "This is not funny! We're talking about death here!"

Meanwhile..........

Kaiba is hanging on a window still of an open office window and Kaiba can't just quite lift himself up. Kaiba begins to slip and at the last second is rescued by someone grabbing his hand. Kaiba is pulled towards the window but still hanging in mid air and has a gun pointed in his face. Behind the gun Knives is smirking at him.

Knives: to Kaiba "It ends here."

Kaiba: to Knives "I thought you were dead."

Knives: to Kaiba "Don't always believe what your eyes tell you. Of all the people you should know that."

Kaiba eyes grow tiny.

Knives: to Kaiba "Since you are so much like me I'll give you a choice."

Kaiba: to Knives "What do you mean like you?"

Knives: to Kaiba "You never die, do you? Besides I like your wardrobe."

Kaiba: to Knives "Just state your business."

Knives: to Kaiba "Either you help me defeat Vash and Wolfwood or....."

Kaiba: to Knives "Or what?"

Knives: to Kaiba "Or.... you fall to your doom!"

Kaiba: to Knives "That's not much of a chance now is it?"

Knives: to Kaiba "I can shoot you if you prefer and this time kill you. Not wound you, kill you. I have no trouble what- so- ever."

Kaiba looks down at the pavement and then looks at the gun.

Kaiba: disgusted tone "Fine, I'll help you. mad tone Just don't point that thing at me."

Knives pulls Kaiba into the room and tosses Kaiba a silver gun which Kaiba catches.

Knives then pulls out other gun from his trench coat and now is holding two guns.

Kaiba: to Knives "What do you me to do with this? looking at gun Kill?"

Pause.

Knives: to Kaiba sarcastic tone "No, I want you to shoot squirrels with it."

Kaiba: to himself "What is it with squirrels, these days?"

Back to..... Vash, Wolfwood, Joey and Yugi. Who are walking down the stairs of Kaiba Corps. They get to the main floor and blocking the doors are none other than Kaiba and Knives. Kaiba with one gun and Knives with two all three pointed at them.

Joey: "You know I'm starting to get worried about Kaiba."

Yugi looks at Joey perplexed.

Knives: to Kaiba "Do the honors....."

Kaiba gets ready to fire and just stops and holds that pose. Yugi, Joey, and Vash can't believe what Kaiba is doing.

Joey: to Kaiba "Gee, Kaiba I knew you hate me but I didn't know you hated me that much."

Knives: to Kaiba commanding tone "Shoot him first!"

Kaiba is refusing to shoot and his hand holding the gun is shaking.

Knives: to Kaiba impatient tone "NOW!"

Kaiba tosses the gun on the floor. Vash looks at Kaiba like he knew he couldn't shoot them.

Knives: to Kaiba losing it tone "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHY IS IT SO HARD TO KILL SOMEONE?!?"

Kaiba: to Knives "I may think he's stupid...... pause... but I just can't kill him. I can't kill anybody."

Knives: to Kaiba "Well, if you wouldn't do it.... I will!"

Knives puts one of his guns back into his trench coat and picks up the silver gun Kaiba throw on the floor. As Knives went to pick up the silver gun as Knives bent over Kaiba karate chopped the back of Knives' neck. Kaiba made a break for the elevator and soon after Knives recovers picks up the silver gun and heads after Kaiba. Joey soon begins to follow Knives.

Yugi: to Joey "Where you going, Joey?"

Joey: to himself loud "I can't believe I'm going to help a creep."

Joey loses them in the hallway. Kaiba pops out of a corner and scares Joey half to death. Joey follows Kaiba to an elevator and both of them get inside. As the elevator starts to move they both hear a "clump" sound on top of the elevator. Kaiba and Joey both look up. Then from above bullets pour down in the elevator in random spots and Kaiba and Joey both try to stay out of the rain of the bullets. Joey is scared out of his mind and is pushing the emergency button on the elevator to make it stop and buzzing the intercom for help. Finally, the elevator doors open to the ground floor the bullets have stopped and Vash, Wolf and Yugi are standing outside the elevator doors. Joey is breathing heavily.

Yugi: to Joey "You O.K, Joey?"

Joey: to Yugi cool tone but still breathing heavily "No sweat."

Joey steps out of the elevator.

Yugi : to Joey questionable tone "Where's Kaiba?"

Joey: to Yugi pointing behind him with finger "He was right behind...."Joey turns head over shoulder

Joey runs back to the elevator and he sees Kaiba lying on the floor unconscious.

Joey: to Kaiba worried tone "Kaiba! Kaiba!"

Kaiba opens his eyes.

Joey: to Kaiba "You O.K?"

Kaiba: to Joey weakly "I'm fine, Wheeler."

Joey: to Kaiba "Man, you don't look so good. How many fingers am I holding?" holds up 3 fingers

Kaiba: to Joey weakly "Oooooooowww. You have six fingers."

Joey sees Kaiba is bleeding in his shoulder. Joey rips the arm part of his shirt off and bandages up Kaiba's wound.

Joey: "You're going to the hospital, no questions asked."

Kaiba slowly gets himself up.

Kaiba: to Joey weakly "I can take care of myself."

As soon as he gets up he falls on Joey and Joey catches him. Joey carries Kaiba on his shoulder. As Joey drags Kaiba, Kaiba's feet are dragging and has a cold sweat. Joey rushes Kaiba to the hospital.

Later on..............

Vash, Wolfwood, Yugi and Joey are in the waiting room. All Kaiba had was a busted shoulder and his foot healed. Wolf is carrying busted pieces of his cross.

Nurse: "You can come in now."

Nurse leaves.

Everyone looks at Kaiba expect Wolfwood. Kaiba comes conscious as everyone enters.

Kaiba: mad tone "All right, who did this to me?! I bet it was Wheeler! Pause. But wait Wolfwood threw me off the building...."

Yugi: to Kaiba "Actually, well it's true Wolf threw you off the building."

Kaiba gives Wolfwood the pinky finger. (Middle finger in US)

Wolf: thinking to himself "Whatever man, I don't know anything."

Yugi: to Kaiba "Let me continue... Knives was the one who shot you but Joey brought you to the hospital."

Kaiba looks at Joey. Joey is looking at Kaiba for a "Thank you" while he's eating the Jello.

Kaiba: angrily to Joey "Why you eating my Jello?"

Joey: to Kaiba angrily "What do you mean eat your Jello?! I saved your ass!!"

Vash gets between Kaiba and Joey.

Vash: to Joey and Kaiba "O.K. O.K. No, more fighting. Just thank god no one died."

The nurse comes in.

Nurse: "Time to take your medicine, Mr. Kaiba."

Nurse pulls out a gun and takes off "her" hair to show blue hair. The "nurse" starts shooting all over the hospital room and Vash, Wolfwood, Joey, Kaiba and Yugi hit the dirt. Then Knives takes off leaving behind a room full of bullet holes. Vash chases down the hall after Knives.

Later.... back at the card shop. Grandpa, Yugi, Vash, Wolfwood and Joey are hanging out. Vash and Yugi are playing Duel Monsters. While Wolfwood is fixing his cross. Joey is still eating that Jello and watching everybody. Wolfwood has a green chalk board behind him and on one side the chalk board is labeled Wolf 0 and the other side is blank and has a 1.

Wolf: to himself somewhat loud "Stupid Kaiba."

Vash looks over at Wolfwood.

Vash: to Wolf "What?"

Wolf: looking at Nimble Momonga, a brown squirrel, on Monster Zone "I mean..... stupid brown squirrel."

Joey: to Wolf what's your problem tone "What have you got against squirrels?"

Wolf: to Joey fast response "They carry briefcases!!"

Everyone goes: "Riiiiiiggggggggghhhht."

Everyone continues there business. Wolfwood finishes his cross and starts to leave.

Vash: to Wolf "Where ya going?"

Wolf: to Vash in suspicious tone "To shoot........... squirrels."

Wolfwood goes back to the hospital and breaks down the door to the room Kaiba is in and sticks his head in.

Wolf: to Kaiba threatening tone "Heeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrreeee's Wolfy!!"

Wolfwood goes crazy and shoots all over the room. Leaves bigger holes than last time. As Wolfwood leaves a piece of his cross comes off and drops in the room. The Old Man in the next room to Kaiba now has a hole he can see into his room.

Old Man: "Keep it done in there! You young whippersnapper! We're trying to take a sponge bath!"

Kaiba shudders. Nurse walks in.

Nurse: "What's going on in here?"

Kaiba: to Nurse "A priest tried to kill me."

Nurse: to Kaiba "O.KKKK. Righttt. I'm going to call security and have them take you to the nut house because you're in the wrong place."

At this Kaiba jumps out the window.

Nurse: "I stand correct."

Meanwhile back at the card shop........

Knives comes in and starts to random shoot again. Grandpa tries to stop him but ends up falling and hurting himself and lands flat on his face.

Yugi: yelling to grandpa in slow motion "Grandpa!"

Knives exits.

Vash: "Is everyone, O.K?"

Yugi: to Vash worried tone "Do you think he got Kaiba too?"

Vash: worried tone "I didn't even think about that."

Vash picks up phone and calls Kaiba's room.

Operator: "The phone is not working, please call your phone company."

Vash: very worried "Oh, no! Maybe Knives did get to him!"

So, Vash, Joey, and Yugi take Grandpa to the hospital and while they are there check up on Kaiba. They open the door to Kaiba's room and:

Old Man: excited tone "We've got visitors!"

Yugi: to Joey whispering "Joey, go play Bingo with them while we figure this out."

Joey goes over and starts to play Bingo with the Old Men.

Meanwhile, Vash finds a piece of Wolfwood's cross on the floor.

Vash: thinking to himself "I'm not surprised."

After awhile Joey comes back with his prizes.

Yugi: to Joey questioning tone "How did you get those?"

Joey: to Yugi "I won them."

Yugi: to Joey "You never win."

Joey: to Yugi "I took this for a reason. I mean what are they going to do with Battle Ship? It's dangerous. They could be playing and stroke out."

Old Man comes out towards Joey.

Old Man: to Joey "You stole my Battle Ship!!"

Old Man hits Joey on the head with cane. Wham! Joey gives it to the Old Man.

Joey: stern tone "FINE!!"

Back to Game shop...

Wolfwood is waiting outside the Game shop with his motorcycle smoking.

Vash: to Wolf "Is this a piece of your cross?" Holding out the piece of the cross towards Wolf.

Wolf: pretending surprise "Ooooo, there it is." Takes cross piece from Vash.

Yugi: to Wolf "So, you did do this."

Wolf: to Yugi "I didn't want to kill him I just wanted to spook him. to himself Even through I should kill him. Stupid brown squirrel. Stupid blue squirrel....."

Vash, Yugi, Joey and Wolfwood all go back into the Game shop and Vash tries to call Kaiba using 411. Wolfwood goes over to the score and eases the 0 under Wolf and puts 1 and then replaces the blank name on the other side to brown squirrel

Wolf: to himself "Wolf one. Brown squirrel one."

Vash on the phone.

Vash: outraged at phone "What the hell is going on here?!?"

Yugi: to Vash curious "What's wrong? Is it disconnected?"

Vash: to Yugi sarcastic "No, it's just the dial tone ringing."

Wolfwood turns around and looks at Vash.

Wolf: to Vash challenging him "Are you going to be the stupid blonde, squirrel?"

Joey: to Wolf outraged thinking Wolf means him "Wanna mean?!? What's wrong with blondes??"

Since the phone was disconnected, Vash, Wolfwood, Yugi and Joey go to an old fashion type of phone booth where you have a door and are surrounded by glass. They look up Kaiba's mansion phone number in yellow pages. Joey calls.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

Mokuba picks up the phone.

Mokuba: to Joey "Hello?"

Joey: to Mokuba "Mokuba, is that you?"

Mokuba: to Joey "Yes, it's me, Joey."

Joey: to Mokuba "Hey, let em' talk to, Kaiba."

Mokuba: to Joey "He's not.... Knives walks in and points the gun at Mokuba. Mokuba sees Knives. here.."

Mokuba is frozen and staring at Knives. Knives takes the phone and hangs it up. The line goes dead. Joey takes the phone away from his ear and just looks at the phone questioned out and confused.

Wolf: to Joey "What, did Mai hang up on you again?"

Joey: to Wolf "No, your mom did."

Vash: to Joey and Wolf breaking them up before a fight starts in the phone booth. Getting between Joey and Wolf "Alright, break it up you two."

Joey and Wolf cool down and Joey calls Kaiba's mansion again.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

Mokuba is standing by the phone with Knives still pointing the gun at Mokuba. As the phone rings, Knives eyes the phone. Knives picks up the phone.

Joey: questionable tone "Kaiba?"

Knives: sounding and acting like Kaiba "Yes, Joey..... Pause... I mean Wheeler."

Joey is silent because he is weirded out and suspicious. Knives at this knows he has made a mistake. Knives hangs up. Joey redials Kaiba's mansion again and gets the operator.

Operator: to Joey "Sorry, your party is disconnected." The message keeps repeating.

Yugi: to Joey questionable tone "What is it, Joey? Any answer?"

Joey: to Yugi worried tone and shaking "Yug.... it's a robot."

Vash: to Joey angry tone "You stupid blonde, it's the operator!"

Joey angrily hangs up the phone.

Joey: to Vash angry tone "You wanna take this outside?"

Vash: to Joey "My point exactly."

Joey tries to open the phone booth by pushing on the doors. Of course we all know this doesn't work and Joey is starting to go crazy with fear that they are trapped in the phone booth and are going to die. Joey starts to gasp for air and pressing his hands hard against the glass trying to get out.

Vash: to Joey "It's like this."

Vash pulls the door towards them and the phone booth doors open. Joey rushes out first and hyperventilates. Everyone else follows him.

Yugi: yelling "Come on, guys! Just everyone stop fighting! We have to save the Kaiba bros!"

Joey: wondering tone "Well, how do we get there?"

Wolf: on motorcycle ready to leave: "Well, I have to get going."

Everyone turns and stares at Wolfwood.

Wolf: in a 'no way' tone and shaking head: "No. No, no, no, no."

Later on.....

Wolf: to himself: "How'd I get talked into this?"

Wolfwood is driving with Vash on the seat behind him and Vash is holding onto Wolfwood's cross. Joey is seating in the passenger seat (the hook on seat for the motorcycle) with Yugi on top of Joey's shoulders holding on for dear life. Wolfwood is driving like a manic (speeding, sharp corners) and everyone is holding on for dear life.

Inside......

Vash, Wolfwood, Joey and Yugi step inside and see Mokuba still by the phone scared stiff. Then Vash, Wolfwood, Joey and Yugi hear something upstairs and rush up there sneakily. Checking every room. They hear struggling in the bathroom and bust in and see nothing. They laundry shoot is open and hear bullets coming from downstairs. They all go down the laundry shoot one at a time and land in the basement. Kaiba runs towards them and knocks them out of the way. Knives chases after Kaiba. Everybody follows Kaiba and Knives to the living room again. Vash, Joey, Yugi, Kaiba, and Wolfwood see Knives kidnapping Mokuba. Knives runs out steals Wolfwood's motorcycle and Kaiba chases after Knives in his limo. Yugi, Joey, Vash and Wolfwood are trying to figure out how they are going chase after them. Then they see an ice cream truck. They get an idea.

Wolf: looking at the ice cream truck "I have an idea."

Vash walks up to the Old Man.

Vash: "Moves it, gramps!" Shoves the Old Man aside.

Then Vash, Yugi, Joey and Wolfwood steal the ice cream truck. Vash is driving and everyone else is eating ice cream in the back. Yugi doesn't like stealing the truck but wants to help the Kaiba bros. The ice cream truck follows the limo which follows the motorcycle.

Meanwhile.....

Two kids walking on a sidewalk holding a wanted poster of the Vash the Stampede.

Kid #1: "You think they every found that crazy nut bags, Vash the Stampede?"

Kid #2: "Look, just because he's a wanted man doesn't mean he's a manic."

Just then Vash is speeding by in the ice cream truck near the side walk. While licking his ice cream.

Vash: crazy tone "STRAWBERRY!"

Eventually, they finally found the limo but it's empty.

Wolf: disappointed tone "Great, I put my cross together for nothing."

They look around and Wolfwood spots money on the ground. Wolfwood picks the money up and sniffs it like POT.

Wolf: while sniffing "It's the brown squirrel."

Everyone looks at Wolfwood perplexed.

Wolf: "I mean Kaiba."

So, Wolfwood is sniffing the trail of money which leads them to a sewer.

Joey: "No, way I'm going down there."

Later....

Joey: disappointed groan "I can breathe again."

After coming out of the sewer and walking onto a dam.

In the distance.... Vash, Wolfwood, Joey and Yugi see Kaiba, Knives and Mokuba. Knives and Kaiba are fist fighting. Vash and Wolfwood try to shoot Knives (Wolfwood also Kaiba) Vash kept Wolfwood from shooting Kaiba and both of them gave up because Knives and Kaiba kept moving so much. Kaiba is pinned down by Knives and Knives starts punching Kaiba in the face. Joey rushes down there.

Joey: to Knives yelling is standing behind Knives "Hey, stupid blueberry Back Street Boy!"

Knives and Kaiba continue fighting. Joey sees Knives' gun on the ground near him and picks it up.

From this point on, Slow Motion.

Joey shoots. Kaiba flips Knives over and pins him down. Kaiba gets shot in the shoulder blade and Wolfwood is smoking and when he puffs out the smoke shapes into a squirrel getting hanged.

Normal Motion.

Knives rolls over to the other side stands up and pulls out his other gun from his trench coat and before Knives fires, Joey kicks Knives in the balls. Knives falls to the ground in pain and drops the gun. Joey grabs the other gun.

Knives: to Joey High squeaky voice "I'm so going to kill you."

Wolf: "I didn't know the blue squirrel had nuts.... or the brown squirrel for that matter."

Vash: to Wolf frustrated tone "SHUT UP WITH YOUR SQUIRRELS!"

Knives trip kicks Joey and Joey falls on his back while releasing the guns. Vash is now ticked off and starts to remember Rem. Vash puts his gun away and walks towards Knives slowly like a robot.

Wolf: to Vash surprised/angry tone "What are you doing? No mercy! Don't be shallow."

Vash just continues walking like Wolfwood said nothing.

Vash: to Knives Yelling "I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU HURT ANYMORE OF MY FRIENDS, KNIVES!"

Knives laughs sarcastically.

Vash runs towards Knives.

Vash: to Knives Yelling as he runs towards him "YOU BASTARD!"

Vash grabs Knives in his ribs and starts to throw his body weight so they will fall over the edge.

Vash: to Knives yelling "IF THE ONLY WAY TO GET RID OF YOU IS TO SACRIFICE MYSELF, SO BE IT!"

Vash and Knives fall off the edge of the dam with Vash still holding on to Knives.

Knives: to Vash Yelling as they fall

" V

A

S

H

T

H

E

S

T

A

M

P

E

E

E

D

E

!"

Vash and Knives fall into the raging waters spilling out of the dam and disappear. Yugi, Wolfwood, Kaiba, Joey and Mokuba are looking over the edge and are sad and shocked Vash did that. Even Kaiba, but he isn't showing it.

Kaiba, Wolfwood, Mokuba, Joey and Yugi run farther down away from the dam and see Vash floating a top the water. Joey drives in and rescues Vash and brings him back. On shore, Joey starts slapping Vash silly and shaking him by his collar to wake up.

Joey: as he shakes and slaps Vash commanding/worried tone to Vash "WAKE UP!"

Vash finally wakes up.

Joey: to himself out loud "Thank God I didn't have to do C.P.R."

Then at that moment they all see Knives dead man's floating along in the water.

Wolf: "And that's the end of that chapter."

As everyone walks away Yugi still is there staring at Knives body with an uneasy feeling.

At the end of the day....

Grandpa is back from the hospital and as Vash, Joey, Wolfwood and Yugi walk into the Game Shop Yugi gives Grandpa a big hug.

Grandpa: "I got the phone working again, at least the speaker."

Much later on...

Joey, Yugi, Grandpa, Wolfwood and Vash are hanging at the Game Shop Vash is still trying to learn Duel Monsters with Yugi.

And.....

Ring.

Ring.

Vash gets up and puts the speaker on..... Pause.

Vash: to phone "Hello?"

Soft sarcastic laughing that gets louder.

Person on speaker phone: to Vash "Will Vashy come to play?"

More sarcastic laughing and then the line goes dead.

Vash hangs up.

Yugi: to Vash questionable tone "What was that?"

Vash: to Yugi "Wrong number."

THE END?????

Why we hate squirrels.... on vacation this summer me and my friend got a doughnut and brownie to eat in the morning, so we put the bag(containing the brownie and a doughnut) on top the fridge and the ants that morning where at the bag. So, we put the bag outside and later on a squirrel was munching on our goodies!!!

STUPID SQUIRREL!! Ate our goodies!!

Kaiba: "I really wanted that brownie..."

Wheeler: "I really wanted that donut!!!"

Kaiba: "You and your doughnuts, Wheeler."

Wheeler: "Shut up, Kaiba."

Kaiba: "You shut up!"

Legato: "BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP! I WANT A HOT DOG!"

Kaiba: "Not if I get first and Wheeler can have the kiddie meal."

Wheeler: "HEY, I'M NOT GETTING POISENED AGAIN."

Please send feedback!! Which "squirrel" ,blue or brown, is the worst? Would you like us to write, Part 2? Wolfwood's Revenge?

Wolfwood: "Stupid squirrels! They shall pay! Stealing my motorcycle! Destroying my cross!!"

Also, me and my friends plan on acting this out. Look for the 'Uncut' version of our Duelist Kingdom and what really happened.....