Momma


It was a little chillier than the average nights on Ember Island, and for the occasion, the group had decided to settle down in the courtyard with a fire. There were a few days yet to go before Sozin's comet hit, and so they were allowing themselves to relax after a day full of training. It was Sokka's idea, and, on a rare occasion where they let him have his way, they had stirred a fire and retired on the ground with dinner.

The atmosphere had been tense, but after half an hour of sitting in relative silence the conversation began to pick up.

"I think Mother's Day is tomorrow," Suki said after a while. "Today's Saturday, right?"

Three sets of lungs caught a hitch in their breath, and Suki sighed.

"Yeah. Me too."

Sokka put his arm around her, and Katara leaned onto Aang's shoulder.

"What happened to your's?" Zuko asked, his voice soft and careful. He knew how painful it was to think of his own mother. He would understand completely if she didn't respond. But instead, Suki shrugged.

"Died during childbirth. My dad took care of me, but he died when I was eight from a bad fever and the Kyoshi warriors took me in."

Sokka hugged her tight as everyone else's eyes looked to the ground in sympathy, but she smiled sadly. "It's okay. At least I don't remember her; I think if I did it'd be worse."

"It's awful." Katara whispered.

"Entirely." Added Zuko.

"I don't even know if I ever had a mom," Aang said suddenly, looking at the ground as if it could give him an answer. "All I remember is Monks. I think the only mom I had was Gyatso."

There was a light chuckle.

"Did he appreciate you calling him 'mommy'?"

Aang smiled and rolled his eyes at Sokka's smart remark, but the phrase had lacked the usual tooth.

"Tomorrow'll really suck for our whole squad, huh." The older boy finally grumbled in the silence, and Suki kissed his forehead. Zuko sighed and leaned over, his elbows resting on his knees, and Aang nodded.

"Not all of us." Katara smiled. She gestured to Toph, happy that their youngest member hadn't endured the same tragedy the rest of them had. "At least one of us won't have anything to be sad about."

Attention turned to Toph, who's eyebrows furrowed at the remark. She crossed her arms and turned away.

"Hey, just because I still have a mom doesn't mean I don't miss her," Toph grumbled. Katara startled. She hadn't expected that response; but she supposed Toph was justified.

"I'm sorry, that was insensitive of me," She said softly, looking towards the youngest of their group. "Do you want to tell us about her?"

Toph shrugged. "I mean .. I don't know, now you're putting me on the spot! She was a normal mom, I guess. Not much to say."

Aang was the only one to notice her shrinking in on herself; Zuko, Suki, Sokka and Katara were too busy mourning their own mothers. Katara stopped pushing and the conversation went back to the deceased, but Aang kept an eye on Toph. She had stopped making rude remarks; stopped reacting at all. She just sat there by the fire, hugging her knees and poking at the ground with a stick.

The evening passed by without much event; Katara had to walk off after a little while because she was overwhelmed with emotion, and Sokka went after her, and at one point Toph had gotten up to pee and hadn't returned. Aang seemed to be the only one that was concerned.

"She probably just went to bed early, that's all." Suki said when Aang brought it up at bed time.

"Look, if she isn't here for breakfast, we'll go try and find her, okay?" Sokka joined, patting Aang's shoulder.

He pretended that appeased him, and everyone departed to their respective rooms. After about twenty minutes of lying in bed awake, Aang couldn't take it. He got up and slipped on his thin robe, leaving his room and beginning to search the grounds.

She wasn't in the bathroom, which cut out the possibility that she had been hiding in there the whole time. He supposed that was good, because the only reason she would have spent two hours in the washroom would be if she was sick. She also wasn't in her room, which cut out the possibility that she had gone to bed early like the others suggested. Aang searched every communal living space he could think of, and was about to give up when he heard a slight shuffling from the tea room.

Aang made his way across the hall and past the courtyard doors and slid the door to the tea room open softly.

"Toph?" He whispered, and he was met with a groan. There were a few moments of tense silence.

"The one and only." Came Toph's childish, tired voice finally. "What do you want, Twinkle Toes?"

Aang walked across the room to the row of dusty pillows by the full-wall windows where Toph was seated. Her cheek was pressed against the glass, and he didn't ask why when he sat down.

The night was beautiful, clear and cool and full of little noises. The kind of night that makes you think.

"What are you thinking about?" Aang asked softly, sitting down on a pillow next to Toph. The smaller girl responded gruffly without hesitation.

"Bagels."

Aang really would have laughed if the air hadn't been so tense. So instead, he put a hand on her shoulder, not jumping when she flinched, and repeated.

"What are you thinking about?"

His eyes instinctively searched her's, pressed so close to the window that her eyelashes brushed the glass, but unable to see out. She closed them, but it was a good minute before her voice finally rose, croaky and tired as if it hadn't been used in centuries.

"My mom."

He knew it. He wouldn't say he knew it, but really he hadn't a doubt.

"What about her?"

There was another long pause, and Toph's eyes stayed closed.

"...I miss her."

Aang smiled though she couldn't see it, his hand rubbing slightly on her shoulder.

"Everyone misses their mom right now, you're not alone."

Silence, even deeper than before. Two minutes passed before Aang decided he needed to break it.

"Toph?"

"I don't get it! I don't get why!" Her eyes flew open and her response was instantaneous - loud, and angry, and tearful - and Toph slammed her forehead into the window, grunting in frustration. Aang startled a little.

"Why..why what?" He said, and it was his voice's turn to be croaky. Toph growled, but not at him - tears were glazing her eyes, and when she blinked one slid down her cheek. She pulled up her knees and rested her elbows on them, hands gripping her hair now.

"Why I miss her!"

Silence.

Aang's hand was still on her shoulder, with no sound but tiny, hidden sobs between them. Toph's hand relaxed from her hair, but both arms wrapped around her knees tight instead. Aang was nearly asleep when Toph's voice rose from the dark.

"My mom wasn't s'pposed to be able to have babies." She whispered, and her blank, tearful eyes were staring unseeing at the beach. "But then she got pregnant with me, and.. and she and my dad were so happy."

She paused, but Aang knew not to say anything. Instead he patted her shoulder to show his support.

"Mom got measles, two months before I was due, and then I was born right away, and.. My dad knew I wasn't right, I-I was really, really little, and my eyes weren't right, and…." She choked a little. "They didn't like that, but how can I blame them?"

"Don't say that." Aang mumbled, scooting a little closer to Toph. She wiped her eyes harshly with a fist and laughed wetly.

"How could I not? I'm messed up, Twinkle Toes. They told the whole fucking world I was born dead because they were just that disappointed."

Katara would have scolded her for her language choice. Suki would have hugged her and said it didn't matter because she was here now. Sokka would have made a comment about how cool it is to say you lived undercover. But Aang just gripped her shoulder and stayed quiet, listening for any change in her breath. She went on.

"The only times mom payed me any attention she felt bad for me. I think it's 'cause I took so long to not be sick when I was little, because she only showed up when I was crying or throwing up." She laughed. "I used to make myself cry or puke just so she'd hold me, y'know? Momma just liked it when I was a baby doll. It was better than the nanny, or my dad. He just…." She faltered. "Was mad."

Aang couldn't stay quiet now, because something was weighing on his mind.

"Did…Did he hit you?"

Toph didn't say anything at all, and Aang's face fell.

"He did." He supplied, and Toph was quick to start making excuses for him.

"But it was just because I did a lot of dumb stuff, and he always said sorry and bought me whatever I wanted after. .." She paused. "That's why I started going to Earth Rumble VI, really. Because if you haven't noticed," She nudged Aang playfully, but her pain was almost tangible. "I'm a lotta-bit of an attention whore, and it was better to be praised than pitied or smacked."

"Did your mom….?" Aang couldn't help but ask. Did she hit you too?

"Once or twice, 'cause I broke stuff a lot." Toph said. She sighed and uncurled a little, flopping her cheek back against the glass. "I miss her, Aang. I miss someone who didn't care that my dad beat me, an-and who only hugged me when I had a fever, and told the whole village I was dead, and I don't get it."

Aang didn't know what to say. And so instead, he scooted closer and wrapped his arms around her in a hug. Her breath hitched and her shoulders shook, and she began to cry in earnest now - something Aang had never really seen her do.

"Sorry," She squeaked, her arms still not returning the hug but not fighting it either.

"Don't be sorry." Aang said, "I cry in front of you all the time. Remember the time Appa stubbed his toe?"

Toph laughed a tiny bit, but the tears didn't stop. Her chin dropped against Aang's shoulder.

"You know…" Aang started cautiously, "I think.. at least for right now… it's okay to just remember the good parts. To push the bad parts back for a little while."

When he got no response, he kept going.

"You know my stance on forgiveness, but.. sometimes it can be hard to forgive right away. I think that it's okay to just miss someone at first. You don't have to forgive someone immediately to love them. And, and it's not bad to love someone who did you wrong."

It was quiet. Toph's tears were soaking through Aang's robe, her hair slipping periodically from It's loose bun.

"Are you trying to say…." She started, "Are you confessing your love for Zuko?"

She was giggling then as she pulled away, and Aang's jaw dropped in disbelief.

"No, that's not - " He sputtered. Toph laughed, her face tear-streaked and her lips covered in mucus.

"Ew, I can't believe you two are getting married," She grinned, kicking her feet a little to get Aang away from her. "You can't hug me now that I know you love him! That'd be cheating!"

Aang grinned, a laugh breaking through his lips.

"Well, I mean - I mean, have you seen his abs? Who can blame me!"

Toph absolutely cackled.

"No! No I haven't seen his abs!"

And then they were both giggling messes on the floor, so loud that they barely noticed the door creak open.

"You two need to get some rest." Said Zukos' groggy voice. "We have a busy day tomorrow."

Aang looked at the doorway and Toph kicked his leg, grinning as they both tried to hold in their laughter. Zuko looked between them before turning around.

"You know what? I don't want to know. Just be quiet so I can sleep."

The door closed, and Aang and Toph nearly burst into tears from the harshness of their giggles.

"I can't believe you two have been married for eighteen years!" Toph basically shouted, and Aang held a finger to his lips like it would do any good.

"Shh, shh," He shushed, barely suppressing his own laughter.

The giggle-fit lasted a while longer, and by the time it died down, both children were equally exhausted.

"Is it bedtime?" Aang finally asked through a yawn. He stood up and offered Toph a hand, lightly touching her fingertips so she would know where to grab. She accepted the help and allowed herself to be pulled up, stretching big when she stood.

"Yeah. It is." She sighed, and Aang turned to lead the way out.

"Aang?" Toph's voice said, soft, and childlike, and shy. Aang turned around in response.

"Yeah?"

"...Thanks." Toph sighed, and then she punched him hard in the shoulder.

Aang shrugged and surpressed an ow. "That's what friends are for."

"Well, you're a good friend, then." Toph smiled. Then, "An even better friend for telling me about the wedding even before you told your own groom."


A/N: This is probably a bit inaccurate; I'm not quite done with my first time through the series. But Mother's day came up, and I figured I might as well post something early 3