You came into my life in a dark, stormy night
and pushed a feeble, old man off a rickety bridge
without even a hint of a fight.
In that moment I knew you were destined for great things
but even in my wildest dreams
I didn't think you'd even slay the slayer of kings.
You filled me with such hope when you stole the Unsullied's car keys
cruelly tied your impertinent niece to a pole
and traversed land, air and sea with such grace and ease.
Master of teleportation, slayer of dragons, fucker of queens!
Like a well-groomed Jack Sparrow
you owned each of these marvelous scenes.
Now rest, closest thing I ever had to an eldritch abomination
forever sleep in Silence underneath the black waves
I will mourn what could have been here, on the shores of utter frustration.