TITLE: The Dangers Of Looking For A Toilet At Night
AUTHOR: Vid Z.
CATEGORY: Humor
TIMELINE: Season 3-5
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the TV show Stargate: SG-1 are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fic. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: what happens when "someone" has too much time on their hands...
SUMMARY: Jack is looking for a toilet on an Asgard ship at night when it happens.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Jack was answering the call of nature in the middle of the night, or what could pass off as night in space, when it happened.
'The O'Neill II.' was a large ship, the largest the Asgard have ever built and it was a battleship by design, built solely for war, war against the Replicators, incorporating all the experience gained thus far and so finding the bathroom wasn't that easy.
Apparently the Asgard didn't need toilets (little lucky bastards), thus didn't have any kind of experience with everything that comes with it, and so thought that any possible human passangers would not mind sharing the bathroom and especially not mind wandering about in the night, lost, looking for the damn toilet.
Thor went off duty about an hour ago and Jack didn't want to come off as an idiot by looking his gray buddy up to ask him for directions.
Plus, it gave him the chance to become familiar with the newest and most powerful aquisition of the Asgard Fleet, which proudly bore his name.
But couldn't be as proud as Jack was being over it.
He just hoped Carter wouldn't find a way to destroy this one too...
When they were told the name of the ship after having been beamed aboard it, Jack could swear he saw an evil gleam in her eyes; but he'd make sure that she wouldn't get the chance to destroy the second of this name also.
Finally he stopped in front of a door that looked promising and opened it.
Only to slam it back closed immediately.
Jack snapped his eyes shut, questioning his own sanity, asking himself if he really saw what he just saw.
He quickly opened them again and, to make sure he wasn't losing his mind, he swiftly peeked in again.
Yup, there he was.
Thor, the Supreme Commander of the Asgard Fleet, was standing there in the small bathroom, half of his head soaped, the other without-soap half marked with an obvious sharp line, the razor clutched in his little hand.
Vaguely Jack noticed that Thor was looking particularly pissed off.
The human shook his head slowly. "I'm not even gonna ask." and shut the door again, turning away, determined to find some other toilet.
Luck was with him and he soon found it.
As the newly-appointed Ambassador to the Asgard/military attache/active duty Colonel Jack O'Neill gratefully sank onto the comfy mattress, slim feminine arms circled his waist.
"Where were you so long?" asked one scrumptious Ambassador's wife/Technology attache/active duty Major Samantha O'Neill sleepily of her husband.
Jack just shook his head disbelievingly as she rested her head on his shoulder, swiftly falling asleep. "You'll never believe what I just saw." But she was already asleep.
And, as he fell asleep, he wasn't sure he really saw that himself.
THE END
REVIEW!