This was my ficathon entry for Ficathon 2012, the theme was redemption.
She had always wanted a normal life. To be a wife, a mother, perhaps open a small shop.
She sighed as she finished packing the day old goods. The nebulous "they" always said to be careful what you wished for.
"Mom?"
Looking up, Makoto wiped her hands on her apron, the smile reaching her eyes for once at the sight of her son and granddaughter. "Hey."
"You're coming tonight, aren't you?"
"Of course I am." She took the toddler from her son's arms, kissing his cheek as she did so. "Are you excited, baby girl? I can't believe you're two! You're getting so big."
The child nuzzled into her neck, and she kissed her forehead. "Love you, Grammy!"
"I love you, too."
The party was nice. She had, of course, baked and decorated the cake herself. The toddler had asked for a castle and rainbow, and Makoto could not say no to her.
Of course, he had been there.
She had bought a cute little slip of lingerie, hoping to use the opportunity of an empty house to reconnect. The green silk fell just past her hips, and she left it unbuttoned. He'd always appreciated the not insignificant swell of her breasts.
Akihiko had walked into their bedroom, took one look at her on the bed, and sighed. "I can't do this anymore."
"Can't do what?" She frowned, suddenly feeling very exposed and vulnerable.
"This..." He waved a hand between the two of them. "I was trying to figure out how to tell you...The kids are grown; Emiko's in college now; Tatsu is engaged; there's no reason to keep pretending."
"Pretending?" She stood, one hand grasping the lingerie to hold it shut.
"I can't be married to you any longer!"
She had gone beyond hurt to anger. Whatever his issues were, for him to call their marriage 'pretending' was too much. Hands on her hips, she glared at him, "Pretend? The last 28 years have been pretend?"
He opened his mouth, and then closed it, sitting heavily on the bed with a sigh. "No, only the last three."
"Oh, that's so very much better."
"What do you want from me? You literally look like Emi's sister. I feel dirty whenever I kiss you, anymore." He ran his hand through his hair.
Her hands dropped from her hips.
"Most guys would envy me. My wife is still youthful and perky. And I do still love you, but..." He shook his head, "What do you want me to do when I'm in a nursing home and you look like my granddaughter?"
She sighed and wiped a tear from her eyes, looking up at the night sky. Emiko was married now. Tatsu and Hisae were beginning to think about giving Kairi a sibling. Akihiko had remarried; Namiko, his new wife, looked like a woman old enough, just barely, to be a grandmother.
Leaning back against the steps, she listened to the sounds of the party.
"Don't."
Sighing, she folded her hands into her lap and took a deep breath before she looked back up saw her son-her beautiful little boy, a husband, a father-standing above her.
"Don't do this."
Makoto turned her eyes back to the stars; it hurt too much to look at him.
"Mom." He sat beside her. "Please, listen to me."
She shook her head but reached for his hand. "No, your father was right. I hate him for it, but he was right."
There were no "I told you so"s. No "We tried to warn you"s. She kind of wished there had been. Instead, they had hugged her, cried with her, sat in silence with her, grieved with her, and waited until she was ready to talk about it.
"I just wanted a normal life."
"I know." Warm hands covered her own. "It's never been fair to any of you."
She snorted and shook her head. "No, that's not what I meant." She smiled up into those guileless blue eyes. "I've never regretted serving you or being your friend. You saved me. You saved all of us. I just...we had time right? Time to live normal, non-world saving lives before Crystal Tokyo. And I got to do that. I did. I just...I should've thought it through better."
"Were you happy?"
Makoto wiped a tear away and nodded. "Yeah. I was."
"Then," Usagi said with a smile, before leaning in to kiss her forehead, "it was worth it. If...if it hurts too much, we'll watch over them for you."
"No. I need to. I want to."
"Good."
The same bell she remembered rung when she entered the small, and currently empty, shop. It had been years, even decades since Makoto had last heard it. Fighting back tears, she watched the young woman behind the counter whose belly was ever so slightly swollen. Taking a deep breath, she moved to the bakery case to look over the offerings.
"Gram's Special Red Velvet" caused her to lose the battle, and she almost turned around and walked out as the tear slipped down her cheek.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm...yeah…I'm fine. Thank you."
She looked up, her breath catching as familiar green eyes met her own.
The young woman smiled and gestured toward a table. "Why don't you have a seat, and I'll bring you a piece."
Makoto did as she was told, watching as the young woman cut a generous slice of cake and place it in front of her. Before she could thank her, the woman walked to the door and turned the sign and locked the door.
As she took the chair opposite her, she grinned. "I needed a break, anyway. My grandmother says it's going to be a girl, and the proof is that it keeps playing soccer with my bladder. She says all the girls in our family do that."
Makoto chuckled; Emiko had seemed to kick harder than Tatsu. "Congratulations."
"Thank you. Grandma also used to tell me how food could sometimes heal the soul. I guess, maybe your grandmother makes red velvet too? I mean, for it to have affected you so much." She smiled.
"Something like that. And your Grandmother sounds very wise." She took a bite of the cake, savoring it as she did so. "And makes a very good cake."
"Oh...that's...that's my great-grandmother's recipe. She's the one who opened this shop."
"Ah." Makoto nodded with a smile. "I'm sure she'd be very proud of you."
"Oh, Makoto-chan!" The young woman smiled. "Come meet the baby!" Makiko waved to her from where she sat.
"Should you be back to work this soon?" She grinned.
"Here." Makoto blinked as the baby was placed in her arms. "Isn't she gorgeous? Her name's Natsu. And I'm fine…you're almost as bad as my Grandma!"
She had to swallow the lump in her throat. The babe looked like her own Emiko had: that cute little button nose and her plump cheeks. All she could do was nod as she sat down.
Her hair was different though, curly and brown. Ever so gently, Makoto touched the bit of hair.
Makiko giggled. "The hair is from her father's side. Keiji's grandfather was from America. I think it's beautiful."
"It is. She is. She is very beautiful." Makoto stared in wonder at the child she held, her great-great granddaughter.
"And strong! Her grip...do not let her get a hold of your hair!"
She sat in the park, watching the lightning, letting it soothe her frayed nerves. No one else was out, not in this storm, though perhaps Ami would not mind it so much. She would definitely owe Usagi an apology later.
"Is this your doing?"
She jumped to her feet and turned to face the speaker. Every inch of her tensed, lightning twitching at her fingertips, as she frowned at the man behind her.
"Woah." He held up his hands, palms facing out. His eyes were dancing with a familiar merriment that made her frown even more. "I'm not here to fight. I actually came to ask if you were all right, and then when I realized who you were and how you were watching the lightning..." He grinned, shrugging slightly.
Still she did not relax, though Makoto's eyes moved to his hair for a moment, biting her lip as she did so. It was a coincidence; it had to be.
"Why are you here?"
The man stuffed his hands into his pocket and shrugged again. "I just told you, but if you mean this area more generally...I heard I had a great-granddaughter, and I wanted to peek."
She dropped her hands, feeling herself deflate. "Keiji is your grandson?"
Now it was his expression that was guarded. "You know Keiji how?"
"Makiko is my...great-granddaughter."
"Oh..." He blinked and then threw his head back and laughed.
"Does he know you're alive?" She sipped her coffee.
His laughter annoyed her almost as much as it warmed her. "Which he are you referring to?"
She looked up at him sharply. "He doesn't?!"
"No, of course he does. He's even visited a few times. We just haven't had any big reunions." He waggled an eyebrow at her. "Something about fearing that a massive battle between Senshi and Shitennou would bring the sleep before its time."
Makoto rolled her eyes.
"Is that a smile?"
"No!"
"Mmm...I think it is. But yes, Mamoru knows. Look, I even know his name in this lifetime. My grandson? No." He sighed. "I faked my death. You?"
"My children kno...knew. Well, Emiko knows; Tatsu died a few years ago. I attended his funeral, from a distance." She balled her fists. She would not cry in front of him.
He nodded. "I'm sorry."
She shrugged. "It's my fault. The girls tried to warn me; I just didn't listen. I didn't want to listen. Why...um...why did you fake your death?"
"It's complicated. Our son was five. My wife was pregnant, and I started having dreams, and hearing voices...I thought I was going crazy." He sighed, his eyes dropping from hers to study his hands. "A couple of years later, I started having blackouts. I guess that was when my soul was really beginning to...heal is the wrong word, but...come back together."
His jaw clenched, and she wanted nothing more than to hug him. Instead, she reached a trembling hand across the table, to rest atop his.
He looked up. "When the process finished...I couldn't stay. I couldn't lie beside my wife dreaming of...and I couldn't forgive myself. Didn't matter that he had. I'd look at my children, and I'd look at my hands and see the blood stains and be terrified I'd hurt them. So...I faked an accident..."
She opened her mouth to ask how, even as she tightened her hold on his hands.
"I used my shadow to skid on a patch of ice and hit a pole." He answered before she could voice the question. "No one else was hurt. A bit of gasoline to make there be a plausible reason for no real remains..."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. It's not your fault."
She was baking and laughing with the girls when someone knocked on her door.
Usagi grinned. "Expecting anyone else?"
"Not until later. Michiru and Haruka are coming but they won't be here for another couple of hours. It's probably someone at the wrong apartment." She handed the bowl to Rei to keep stirring. "I'll see who it is and be right back."
Opening the door, she was surprised to see Nelson standing there, holding a bouquet of roses, "There's enough generations between us and Natsu for this not to be too weird, right?"