ONE. ANDROMEDA.
Andromeda Tonks reached her home in the darkness. She'd run, had run as fast as she could, turned around as soon as she'd believed to hear steps behind her back. Almost hysterically she gasped for breath when she closed the door, took off her cloak.
"This has to stop…" she whispered to herself, shaking her head. She wouldn't be able to go on like this, even if she wanted. Wouldn't be able to let fear control her entire body, her entire thinking, even her sleep. This had to stop!
With a quiet sigh, Andromeda sank down to a chair in the drawing room, closed her eyes for a moment, still out of breath from running.
She couldn't suppress a wince when she felt two hands against her shoulders, when she heard quiet breaths behind her back.
"Dromeda…" Ted whispered into her ear, gently stroking over her cheek. "Are you all right, darling?"
It felt good to have him by her side, to hear his voice, talking to her, made her feel safe. Sheltered. Andromeda nodded, turned around to look into his eyes, to smile at him.
"I'm fine," she replied quietly, sighing again. "It's just…"
She broke off, knowing that Ted would understand her, would know what she meant, always, even if she'd not speak out the words. Slowly she rose, placing a gentle kiss on his lips before they started to head for their bedroom.
Carefully she wrapped an arm around his neck, smiled again when she felt her fingertips touching his stubbly cheek. He knew everything about her; knew what scared her, knew why she'd run until she'd reached the house, knew why she hardly ever left the house and he understood. He wouldn't laugh at her, wouldn't call her crazy or paranoid, but would be here for her, always, whenever she needed him. He'd comfort her at night when she'd woken up from one of her nightmares, would calm her down, would hold her, hold her tight until she'd fallen asleep again, sometimes after hours had passed.
"Do you have enough potion for the night?" Ted asked her all of a sudden, as if he'd read her mind. Andromeda just nodded, quietly, briefly turned her head to looked at him. He seemed worried, deep in thought, kept on staring straight ahead as he walked.
What about you? she wanted to ask. Are you all right, Ted?
But no sound would escape from her lips. Andromeda knew it'd been foolish to go out at night, alone; knew she shouldn't have left the house, but she'd craved the fresh air, had craved to look up to the sky, counting the stars while she was walking. She'd loved long walks as a girl, especially at night, had felt like nothing could harm her, like she'd be the only person in the world. But now? Now everything had changed. Barely ten minutes had passed when she'd heard her voice, when she'd heard her sisters voice, right behind her back, when she'd turned around, completely hysterical but it'd only been her imagination. Of course it'd only been her imagination. She'd started to run, to run back to her house, turning around, over and over again...not feeling safe until she'd turned the key in her front door's lock, once, twice, silently vowing she'd never go out again…
Of course she knew it'd be impossible - impossible to hear her, to see her…
"Stop it Andromeda," she whispered to herself, shook her head, trying to get her thoughts in order. She'd not realized she'd undressed herself already, had not realized she was now standing in the bathroom, staring at the mirror. Her light brown eyes had lost any expression, looked back at her as if she were a ghost…
With a quiet sigh she turned around, slowly leaving the bathroom. She was tired, barely able to keep her eyes open, fell asleep as soon as she'd laid down to her bed, completely forgetting about the sleep potion Ted had already prepared for her to take.
She laughed, a cold, cruel laugh, clenched her fingers tightly around Andromeda's wrists so she'd not have the chance to take out her wand, looked at her, stared at her, her black eyes glistening with anger…
"Did you miss me, my sister?" she hissed into her ear, again laughing, this time louder, higher. "Your so-called family certainly didn't seem to expect me, coming to visit you!"
Bellatrix took her head, painfully forced her to turn around, to look at the door where she could see them, where she could see Dora, Ted…lying on the floor, motionless, all covered in blood…
"What did you do to them?" Andromeda shouted, already knowing the answer, felt her heart break into a thousand pieces. She wanted to jump up from her chair, wanted to run to them, wanted to...but Bellatrix held her back, firmly, smiled at her…
"This is what comes from betraying your family…" she said, barely audible, released the grip around Andromeda's shoulders, just to take out her wand, heavily breathing as if even this movement had caused her great exhaustion. Her dark hair was sticking to her face and she was pale as a ghost, thin as if she'd been starved for many years.
"I will teach you what it means to do such a thing to a Black!"
Slowly she raised her hand, took a deep breath. "Crucio…" she whispered.
Andromeda screamed. Sat up in her bed, crying, sobbing, barely able to breathe, her whole body trembling. "No…" she whispered, over and over again, reaching out her hand to feel her husband by her side, to make sure he was here, here with her…
"Dromeda…shh…darling…shh…"
She winced when she felt Ted's skin against hers, when she felt how he wiped away her tears, how he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a close, gentle embrace.
"It's all right." he whispered into her ear, over and over again. "It was just a dream, darling...just a dream. Everything's all right..."
Andromeda wouldn't reply, was still unable to speak, to think, just reached out for the tiny vial on her bedside locker, staring at the purple liquid inside the glass as if she'd gone into a trance. She'd almost spilt the potion all over her sheets as she lead it to her lips, swallowing quickly, nearly choked…
The phial fell down to the floor, empty, only a second later. She closed her eyes again, exhaustedly, felt how Ted slowly laid her back down to the pillow as he realized she'd begun to drift away. He still talked to her, still whispered things into her ear but she'd not understand his words any more.
Her husband had already gotten up when Andromeda opened her eyes. Slowly she sat up in her bed, couldn't suppress a sigh. Now it was her to get up, to start dressing herself.
"You should've woken me," she said to Ted who'd quietly entered the room after she'd had a look at the clock. "It's almost noon."
He just shook his head, came to her, gently wrapping his arms around her waist, not speaking a word. Andromeda smiled, turned around to look into his eyes. His bright, clear blue eyes just like her sister's…
Her sister. Cissy. She'd not seen her for such a long time, had not talked to her since…
No. No, she'd not continue her thought, wouldn't think about what she'd done to her family, what she'd…
Traitor! Bellatrix's voice shouted in her head, making her wince. Traitor. Traitor…she was not a traitor! She'd not betrayed her family! She'd not left them, had never wanted to leave them, had never wanted to leave her sisters! Bella…Cissy…
Traitor!
"I didn't leave you…" she whispered barely audible, as if they were here, here with her, completely forgetting about her husband who was still holding her, looking at her, worriedly.
"I'm not a traitor…"
She was! Of course she was; of course she knew what she'd done, how much shame she'd put on her family. But she'd loved him, had loved him more than she loved herself, loved him still… She'd not know what to do without him, wouldn't know how to survive. Why didn't they understand? Why couldn't they just leave her alone? Didn't they know it killed her inside? Didn't they know guilt seemed to crush her, every day, every minute of her life? Didn't they know how much she loved them, still, even though she'd not be able to be with them? She shouldn't have left, should never have left her sisters, should've stood up straight for her family, even if it'd meant her certain death.
"She's not here Dromeda…" Ted said quietly, carefully wiping away the tears that had started to flow down her face once again. "She's in Azkaban...she won't be able to harm you."
Azkaban. Even the bare mention of Azkaban made Andromeda gasp for breath. Azkaban… She closed her eyes, for no longer than a second, felt how her heart seemed to break into a thousand pieces when she thought about Bellatrix, her sister, when she thought about Azkaban, about how much she wished to be able to see her, once again, only once. To be able to talk to her, to explain her why she'd chosen to run away...but Andromeda knew she'd kill her; knew she'd kill her without hesitating if their paths crossed, knew she'd…
No. No, she'd not think about it any more, not now, wouldn't allow her fears to take over control once again. He was right. She'd not be able to harm her, wouldn't be able to harm anyone. Not as long as…
Azkaban.
Andromeda shook her head, once again closed her eyes, just to open them within the next second, took a deep breath. Everything would be all right. Bellatrix wouldn't find her, would never find her…
She barely remembered how often they'd moved already, how often she'd begged her husband to move, too afraid of what would happen if she found them.
Of course she missed her, of course she missed her sister, both of her sisters! Missed Narcissa, Cissy, her sweet little Cissy who'd always seemed so fragile, in need of protection but who at the same time was stronger than anyone else; missed Bella, who she'd always been able to come to, who'd always listened, who'd always protected her, caught her from falling…
But now? Now everything had changed. She'd changed, they all had changed; had grown up…grown apart…
"How dare you! How dare you even think of this!" Narcissa had shouted the night before Andromeda had run away, had turned away from her to hide the tears that were flowing down her porcelain like face. She'd been a girl, just a girl, only fifteen and she'd been hurt. Andromeda had hurt her so much but she'd needed someone to talk to, had needed someone to trust in! They'd cried, both of them had cried…had screamed, shouted at each other, fought like they'd never fought before…
"But I love him!" Andromeda had screamed, had desperately tried to contain herself, to not toss objects across the room. "Cissy…Cissy please, try to understand!"
She'd not understood. Of course she'd not understood. It had been foolish of Andromeda to assume she would. She'd just laughed, a cold, sarcastic laugh.
"Love?" she'd repeated. "You love him? Don't be foolish Andy, why would you love someone like him? You're hysterical, that's all!"
Hysterical. No...no, Andromeda was not hysterical, she was serious. More serious, more sincere than she'd ever been before in her life. She wouldn't care about his blood, wouldn't care about his family...would only care about him…
"What would you do?" she'd asked her sister, had tried to touch her, tried to look at her but she'd refused to turn around.
"Tell me Cissy, what would you do if it were Lucius? What would you do if he were not a Pureblood? If he were…"
She'd broken off. Unable to finish her sentence, unable to even finish her thought. Narcissa wouldn't reply, wouldn't move, had just kept on staring at the wall, heavily breathing, desperately holding back her emotions.
"If Bella knew…" she whispered, barely audible. "She'd kill you...she'd kill us both!"
Silence had followed. Had seemed to crush them, to crush both of them. Narcissa had been right. Of course she'd been right, of course! She'd kill them, would kill them both…
"You need to be fast," Cissy had said, had finally turned around to look at her, her eyes red and swollen from crying. "Invisible. Turn away and never look back again. Never. Forget about everyone you once knew and loved. Forget about Bella, forget about me...we are not sisters any more."
Andromeda had never seen her sister again after that night, had never met with her, had never talked to her. She'd told her to forget, to forget everything…but how? How?
"E… excuse me…" Andromeda whispered barely audible, carefully freeing herself from her husband's grip. She felt sick, incredibly sick; started to run, ran until she reached the bathroom, coughing, choking…
"It can't go on like this Dromeda," she heard Ted's voice say from behind, felt how he took her hair, how he gently stroke over her back while she vomited. "Your attacks are getting worse again, you can't deny it. We need to do something…"
Andromeda nodded quietly, unable to reply. He was right: they had to do something, anything, she didn't care what! Move again, leave the country and never return; she did not care! Just wanted it to stop, just wanted to be herself again…to be able to live without fear, without guilt crushing her.
She should never have left, shouldn't have cared about love, should've thought about her family, nothing but her family, her sisters! She'd been selfish, so incredibly selfish…
"I'm sorry…" she whispered as she rose, still heavily breathing. Sometimes she wondered why he still stayed with her, why he'd not left her years ago as the attacks had started. As she'd started to dream, he'd always stayed by her side, had always been here for her, here whenever she'd needed him…
"Dora called this morning," he said all of a sudden, once again interrupting her thoughts. "She's worried about you and so am I."
Andromeda sighed, a quiet, exhausted sigh. "I will be all right," she replied, forcing herself to smile. "It's just…"
She broke off. Would she be all right? She wished she knew, wished she'd be able to look into his eyes, to tell him, to promise him she'd would be…but she couldn't.
TWO. BELLATRIX.
Darkness seemed to overwhelm her, to almost crush her, to take her breath away. It wouldn't have mattered whether she'd opened her eyes or not, she'd be blind. Wouldn't see them come, would just hear them, hear their breaths when they were near her, would feel them…
She'd stopped screaming, long ago, had stopped crying. Yes...yes, she'd cried, Bellatrix Lestrange had cried, sometimes even for hours but she'd stopped; had become too weak to cry, too weak to refuse.
Bellatrix was starving but at the same time felt like vomiting, felt like she'd never be able to eat again. The Dementors wouldn't care whether she starved or not, wouldn't care about her being dead or alive, wouldn't…
She'd not finish her thought, wouldn't dare finishing her thought. She gasped for breath, almost hysterically when she…
No.
She jumped up, just to fall down to the floor again, her head heavily hitting the stone. But she'd not feel any pain, wouldn't even remember when she'd last felt pain, when she'd last felt anything but hate. Despair.
The screams outside seemed to drive her to near insanity, would always be resounding in her head…always. Would never let her go again, would never allow her to forget… She opened her mouth, wanted to shout, wanted to scream as well, to scream as loud as she could…but no sound would escape her throat.
Would she even be able to speak? Would she still be able to speak, after she'd been forced to remain silent for such a long time? She did not know. Wouldn't bother trying…
Bellatrix closed her eyes, just to open them again only a second later, to get flooded by darkness once again.
If she only knew what they'd done to him, what they'd done to her husband. If she only knew where he was, whether he was still alive! He could've died, could've died years ago and she'd not even have noticed!
She sobbed, a silent sob, shook her head, over and over again, deeply carving her fingernails into her flesh; felt how blood billowed from her wound, started to stream over her arm, to drop down to the floor...slowly.
Her whole body had started to tremble when she'd tried to sit up but sunken down again; when she'd closed her eyes, exhaustedly, firmly pressing her hands against her ears, trying to ignore the screams…the begging…
She was tired, so incredibly tired but she'd not fall sleep, wouldn't dare to fall asleep, knew she'd be dreaming again. Knew she'd be…
Sleep overwhelmed her, only a second later.
"Where's Andy?"
Bellatrix frowned. She'd come to visit her sisters, had come to talk to them, to spend time with them as long Narcissa was still at home, as long as she'd not have to return to school. She looked at her sister whose motions had frozen when she'd mentioned Andromeda. Andromeda…Bellatrix had looked for her, had looked for her everywhere but seemed to have completely disappeared, as if she…
Rubbish. She'd probably just gone out for a walk in secret, knowing their parents wouldn't approve of her going out in the dark. Andromeda liked long walks at night, liked to stay out for hours, to not tell anyone where she'd gone…but tonight? Tonight something seemed to be different, clearly seemed to be wrong! Narcissa's reaction worried Bellatrix, worried her more than she'd dare to admit. Why'd she become pale, why'd she gasped for breath when she had asked for their sister? Why…
"Cissy?" she asked quietly, carefully touching her shoulder. "Cissy, are…are you all right?"
She wouldn't reply. Of course she wouldn't. She turned away from her, seemed to desperately try to hold back her tears now.
"Cissy?"
Nothing.
It broke Bellatrix's heart to see her sister like this, to hear her quiet sobs, to not be able to help her. Why wouldn't she talk to her? Why would she remain quiet? Why would she force herself to…
"Cissy…what is it?"
Her worries for Narcissa, for Andromeda grew with every minute, every second. What had happened to them? What had happened to her sisters? Where was Andromeda? What had upset Narcissa so much that she refused to talk to her, refused to talk to the person she'd always been able to come to, always been able to…
"I can't…" Narcissa whispered, barely audible. Still not looking at her, still crying. Her whole body had started to tremble, to tremble so much she was forced to sit down on her bed. "I can't tell you Bella. You'd kill me…you'd…"
Bellatrix gasped for breath, couldn't suppress a wince. Now it was her to start trembling, to desperately try to hold back her tears. She took Narcissa's face into her hands, forcing her to look at her, to look deeply into her eyes…
"How…how can you say this?" she asked, barely audible. "How can you even think that I'd ever be ever able to…"
She broke off. How dare she…how dare she think that? She'd never be able to harm her, never; would always protect her, would always stand by her side, no matter about what happened - about what she'd say, about what she'd do…
Carefully Bellatrix wrapped her arms around her sister's body, as if she were as fragile as a doll, pulled her in a close, gentle embrace, slowly stroking over her back to calm her down.
But she'd not calm down. Her tears would not stop to flow, her sobs would only get louder. She'd not speak a word, just shook her head, shook her head over and over again…
"You know that you can tell me everything sweetheart," Bellatrix whispered into her ear. "Everything…so please…please, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong. What has upset you so much? Is it Andy? Did you two fight again?"
Narcissa seemed unable to reply. Just shook her head, again. Never had Bellatrix seen her sister so desperate before. Her sister who'd always been so strong, so incredibly strong… Who'd never cried, not even as a child. Sometimes Bellatrix forgot that she was just a girl, so young, so fragile but at the same time so mature. Narcissa had always been the one to comfort her, to comfort Andy…had always been here to talk to them, whenever they'd needed her…
But had she ever been in need of comfort herself? Had she ever been in need of someone to talk to, of someone to –
Of course. Of course she had, but she'd always been a master in containing herself. Had never cried, had never lost control, not even after her fights with Andromeda. Fights! They'd fought so often, so incredibly often, had been screaming, shouting at each other, almost near hysteria.
No. No, Narcissa had never shouted, had never raised her voice, always remaining calm, terrifyingly calm. It'd been Andy. It'd always been Andy!
Bellatrix knew that they loved each other, knew that they loved each other more than anything else, that they'd reconcile only an hour later, but hearing them fight had almost broken her heart. It had made her want to scream, to toss objects across her room, to leave, to just to escape until they'd both calmed down.
But she'd never left. Of course she hadn't, of course she'd stayed, had stayed trying to talk to them, knowing it'd be pointless.
"Is it this?" Bellatrix asked quietly, still holding her sister in her arms, still cradling her as if she were a child, trying to calm her down. "Is it Andy?"
Narcissa nodded, barely noticeable.
"Yes," she whispered, her voice trembling. "Bella, she - she's…"
She broke off.
Bellatrix gasped for breath, all of a sudden. She couldn't suppress a wince, closed her eyes for no longer than a second. Even the bare thought of - No. No, this could not be possible, this could not!
Of course it was. Of course it was possible, what else would have been able to upset Narcissa so much, what else would explain that?
Had she run away? Had Andy really run away, had she left them, without a word of goodbye? Would she be able to do such a thing to them? Would she be able to leave, to just leave them behind? To abandon her sisters, knowing how much it'd hurt them?
"Narcissa," Bellatrix said, slowly, desperately trying to keep control over her voice, desperately trying to remain strong, not to let fear overwhelm her. "Where is she? Where's Andromeda?"
Slowly Narcissa rose her head and looked at her, with tears still streaming down her face, wetting her cloak, wetting the sheets of her bed.
"Gone," she said.
Bellatrix screamed. "No!" she shouted, jumping up from her sister's bed, leaving her room, leaving as fast as she could. She pushed Andromeda's door open, just to find her room empty; her bed, empty as if no one had ever slept in it, her desk, her drawers, empty, even her wardrobe - empty.
"No," she whispered, over and over again, unable to believe what she saw, unable to believe what Narcissa had said. Gone! She was gone, Andromeda was gone. No! No, this could not be possible, this could not be true, it was a lie, she was lying! But why? Why would she?
"Cissy… Cissy, please, tell me that this is a joke. Please, tell me that this is just…"
Narcissa shook her head; carefully took a step forward, entering their sister's room as well, carefully taking Bellatrix's hand.
"It's not, Bella," she whispered, unable to suppress another sob. "She's gone. Andy's gone. She's left…"
Slowly Bellatrix sank down to the floor; sank down to her knees, with tears streaming down her face, her entire body trembling. She started to sob, unable to speak a word, unable to realize what had happened.
She opened her eyes. Sat up, quickly, barely able to breathe, barely able to keep her thoughts in order. She'd dreamed again. Had dreamed of her, had dreamed of Andromeda, of the night she'd-
Anger seemed to overwhelm her, all of a sudden. Seemed to take over control, made her dizzy, so incredibly dizzy!
"Why?" she wanted to scream, but she was unable to even open her mouth. Why? Why had she left them, why had she run away? Had she hated them so much? Had she hated her parents, had she hated her sisters so much that she'd not seen another chance than to escape? Or had it really been ilove/i?
Love. Love! Bellatrix had almost started to laugh. She'd never understand how her sister would be able to love someone like him, to love a Mudblood! And even if she had, even if Andromeda had loved him, she'd not had the right to marry him! To run away, to just run away, leaving them behind, very well aware of how much it'd hurt them.
Of course she'd known. Of course Andromeda had known she'd kill them, both of them. But she'd made her decision, not caring about her sisters.
Bellatrix had sworn revenge, long ago; had sworn she'd find her, she'd hurt her, as much as she'd hurt them: would make her scream, cause her such unspeakable pain she'd never...
But Narcissa had held her back. She had always held her back, had forbidden her to even talk about Andromeda in her presence. Bellatrix knew that even the bare thought of her would bring tears to her sister's eyes.
She'd never cried again after that night, had never lost a word about what had happened, about her breakdown, had never mentioned Andromeda, as if she'd completely forgotten about her existence.
Narcissa. Cissy. She missed her, missed her so much, her sister, her only sister. How long had they been apart already, how many years had passed since they'd last seen each other?
They'd sworn each other they'd never leave, they'd always be there whenever they needed each other, under any circumstances. But now? Who'd be there for her sister now? Who'd be there for iher/inow? Bellatrix had broken her promise… Had left her, had left Narcissa like Andromeda had left them!
But why? Why had Narcissa not understood that she'd not had a choice? Why had she not understood that she'd been forced to fight, to fight for what Andromeda had betrayed, that this had been a war! Even if the Dark Lord had fallen, had fallen for now, the war had not ended, would never end until he'd return. One day! One day he'd return, even stronger, even more powerful than he'd ever been, and they'd win.
But now? Now…
You broke your promise! Narcissa's voice shouted in her head, all of a sudden. You're like Andromeda! A traitor! Nothing but a traitor!
"I'm not a traitor!" Bellatrix wanted to reply, wanted to shout, to scream as well, but only a cough would escape from her throat, nothing but a cough.
Narcissa had been so angry, so incredibly angry, had been hurt; would've refused to visit Bellatrix, even if she'd been allowed to see her. But no one had ever been allowed to visit her, to see her. No one. Bellatrix had been alone, had always been alone, forced to live with herself, no one but herself, separated from everyone.
Bellatrix gasped for breath. Closed her eyes, tightly wrapping her arms around her shoulders, freezing, all of a sudden freezing! She knew what would be happening, knew everything! Knew what…
Bed, empty. Drawers, empty. Wardrobe, empty.
They were coming. She could feel them, hear them, hear their breaths…
Bed, empty. Drawers, empty. Wardrobe, empty!
The screams had become mute, all of a sudden; had given way to silence, silence only interrupted by their breaths, their terrible rattling breaths. Bellatrix wouldn't dare to move. She wouldn't even dare to open her eyes again, prayed they'd roll past her, prayed they'd leave her alone, just for now, just for a few hours.
Bed, empty. Drawers, empty. Wardrobe, empty!
She'd not be able to bear this any longer. The darkness, the Dementors seemed to drive her insane, everything seemed to drive her insane! She was barely able to breathe, even now, now after they'd left, barely able to keep control over her thoughts, her dreams-
As if she'd ever been able to keep control over her dreams. As if she'd ever been able to sleep without being forced to see them, to see her sisters, right before her eyes, to hear their voices, laughing a taunting laugh, shouting at her as if she were here. As if she'd not see Andromeda, turning away from her, embracing him, kissing him, kissing a Mudblood, running, leaving her behind without a word of goodbye!
Revenge. Yes, she'd sworn revenge, years ago. Had sworn to kill the woman she'd once called sister. To kill her, to make her bleed… Bleed for everything she'd said, for everything she'd done to her, to Narcissa… And she would. One day Bellatrix would find her, one day she'd take revenge, merciless like Andromeda had been merciless towards them. One day…
THREE. ANDROMEDA.
You're a traitor, Andromeda Tonks. And I will find you. One day I will find you. There's no chance to escape…
"No!" Hastily Andromeda opened her eyes and sat up in her bed, desperately gasping for breath, covering her face with her hands, her entire body trembling… "No… No, please… Please!"
She screamed when she felt two hands against her shoulders, when she felt hot breaths against her skin. She jumped up, unable to realize it'd been her husband touching her, trying to calm her down, no one but her husband.
"No…" Andromeda whispered, over and over again, starting to pace around the room, restless, as if she were trapped, wanting nothing more than to run away. She still saw her, still saw her right before her eyes: her skin pale, her face emaciated. But she laughed. Laughed, a sharp, dreadful laugh!
As if she'd still need to be reminded of her laugh. As if she'd ever forgotten about her voice, as if she'd not heard her scream every night in her dreams.
"Andromeda," a voice said behind her back, but she'd not care, wouldn't care about the voice, wouldn't care about anything. She'd started to cry, to sob, to uncontrollably sob. Why? Why would she still haunt her, after so many years? Why wouldn't she leave her alone, just leave her alone?
"Andromeda!"
Again, the voice called her name. This time louder. She pressed her hands against her ears, firmly, praying for them to stop, to stop talking to her, but they wouldn't. Of course they wouldn't!
"Andromeda? Dromeda? Andy!"
She couldn't suppress another scream. She turned around, quickly turned around, just to look into Ted's eyes, who'd taken her shoulders, who'd started to shake her, to shake her body, as if he were trying to wake her up.
Slowly Andromeda started to realize what had happened, started to realize where she was, that it'd been her husband talking to her, not her sister, that the voice had belonged to him, to Ted. That she was safe.
Andy. He'd called her Andy. Had called her...
Slowly she sank down to her knees, still looking, staring at him, heavily breathing. He'd called her Andy, like her family had called her, like her sisters.
"Never do that to me again," she whispered, barely audible. "Don't you dare to ever..."
She broke off, wouldn't finish her sentence; turned her head, ashamed of what had happened. Ashamed of her breakdown. She'd not even recognized him. She'd not even recognized her own husband, just because she'd dreamed again, once again like so often in the past.
No. No, this had not been a dream, this had been different! So different from anything she knew. She'd not just dreamt, not this time. Not this time.
"She'll find me," she whispered, barely audible, frightened by her own voice. "I know it, Ted. I feel it. She'll find me."
Of course she'd find her. Of course Bellatrix would find her, everywhere, even if she left the country.
Hours had passed and Andromeda had not gone back to bed; had not been able, had not been willing to sleep, to close her eyes again. She'd not spoken a word, had refused to even look at her husband. Never had she lost control like this before in his presence, never. Of course he'd seen her cry, of course he'd heard her scream, of course he'd had to comfort her, to calm her so many times before, but even if fear had seemed to overwhelm her once again, even if she'd woken up from one of her nightmares, beseeching him to move again - even if her panic attacks had seemed to reach a new extreme, she'd never had such a breakdown before. Never.
Losing control had terrified her, had terrified her more than she'd ever dare to admit. She knew she'd not be able to go on like this, knew it'd break her one day, it'd break them both. Something had to change, she had to move on, forgetting about her sisters.
But how? How? How would she ever be able to forget about them, to forget about Narcissa, about Bellatrix?
Bellatrix. Andromeda knew that she wouldn't forget, knew that Bellatrix would never just forget about her, knew that she'd never let her go.
But what could she do? What could she do to escape her sister, to make sure she'd not harm her, wouldn't harm her family? Nothing. She'd never be safe, never.
Days had passed and Andromeda had barely spoken a word, had barely talked to her husband or her daughter who'd visited to look after her, as if Ted had told her about what had happened during that night. Her attacks seemed to have come to an end, slowly normality seemed to return to her life – she'd not even dream of her any more. Of course she'd not forgotten about her sisters, of course she still worried about them, worried about Bellatrix, but she'd never lost a word about her again.
It terrified Andromeda to see how everyone looked at her, to feel her husband's gaze burning her skin. He seemed worried, so incredibly worried after her breakdown, after everything that had happened during the past few days.
She knew that he watched her, in secret, that he watched over every step she took, as if she'd lost her mind. But maybe she had. Maybe she really had lost her mind, maybe she'd really gone insane after all these years.
Andromeda rose with a quiet sigh when she saw that Ted had entered the room, placed a gentle kiss on his lips.
"Anything particular you'd like for dinner?" she asked him, forcing herself to smile. He just shook his head, returned her smile, not speaking a word. She enjoyed the silence, enjoyed every minute she spent with her husband, without feeling the necessity to talk. They understood each other without words, knew each other better than they even knew themselves. He was her soul mate, the reason why she'd not given up long ago, the reason why she was still alive. She'd not even dare to imagine what would happen if –
It's you I worry about, she wanted to say, but instead remained quiet, not me, Ted. You.
She'd not spoil his day by mentioning her again, by mentioning Bellatrix. Yes, yes it was him she worried about, only him. She'd never forgive herself if he'd be harmed or–
"Don't even think about it Andromeda," she whispered to herself, turned away from him, heading for the kitchen. She closed her eyes, for no longer than a second, trying to distract herself from the thought of what would happen if her sister and her husband ever met. Of how guilty she'd feel, of how–
Stop it!
Yes. Yes, she had to stop, she'd stop, wouldn't even spend a thought on it any more. Everything would be all right; they would be all right. Why would Bellatrix even think about her? Why would she still bother thinking about her sister? She'd probably forgotten about her, long ago, had probably forgotten about her second sister…
Of course not. Of course she hadn't, of course she'd not forgotten about her. Andromeda would be foolish to assume she had. But she was in Azkaban, Bellatrix was in Azkaban, would never be able to find her. Never.
Absent-mindedly she reached for the newspaper on the kitchen table. She'd not gotten to read all day, and, to be honest, was not even quite interested in what it'd say. Had never been interested in –
Her eyes opened widely with fright. She shook her head, over and over again, unable to look away, unable to forget what she'd just read. No. No, this could not be possible! This couldn't possibly - she closed her eyes, just to open them again, just to be forced to realize it'd not only been her imagination but reality, to be forced to read the same words again, just to see her sister's name right below the headline.
Mass Breakout from Azkaban.
The paper fell down to the floor and she started to scream, to scream as loud as she could, her whole body trembling. Quickly, without her noticing her fingers looked for her wand in her pocket, fastened the grip around the wood as if it'd calm her down, as if it'd give her hold.
"Dromeda?"
Andromeda turned around, briefly looked at her husband who'd entered the kitchen as well, who seemed worried, looked at her, frowning.
Her husband. Ted. Again she closed her eyes, quickly withdrawing her wand. He'd called her Andy. Days ago he'd called her Andy, like only her sisters had!
Don't be foolish Andromeda. Don't be foolish, this is impossible!
Of course it was possible. Why else wouldn't he have told her about the breakout? Why else wouldn't he have –
Andy. He'd called her Andy!
She'd not even notice the happenings around her, wouldn't even notice if he'd as well withdrawn his wand, if he were about to cast a spell against her. Slowly she took a step forward, heavily breathing, her wand still pointing on his chest. She'd trusted him, had trusted him blindly, always, under any circumstances. Had it been a mistake? Had it maybe not even been him she'd talked to, had it maybe always been her?
"The first words," she hissed between clenched teeth as she moved to stand before him, "Ted Tonks whispered into my ear after waking up as a newly married couple."
He gasped for breath, looked, stared at her, his eyes wide open.
"Have you lost your mind, Andromeda?" he asked, shouted, his desperate attempt to keep control over his voice failing.
"The first words!"
"I have never been happier before in my life, Dromeda. You've made the right decision. I will always love you, no matter about what will happen to us."
Andromeda's wand fell down to the floor.
"I'm so sorry…" she whispered barely audible, turning away from him, covering her face with her hands. It was him. Of course it was him, of course it was Ted! How could she have assumed - how could she have dared to assume it'd be someone else? Had it really gone that far? Had fear really taken control over her, her entire body, even her thinking? Had she really just –
"I'm so sorry…"
She started to sob, to uncontrollably sob, unable to believe what she'd done, what she'd said. How would she ever be able to look into his eyes again? How?
"Dromeda," Ted said from behind, the softness in his voice making her wince. Carefully he wrapped his arms around her waist, turning her around, pulling her in a close embrace to comfort her.
"Sweetheart, shh. It's all right!"
Andromeda had sunken down to the floor if he'd not held her, if he'd not held her in his arms, for minutes, hours. Even his bare presence seemed to calm her down, to make her regain control. Slowly.
"We - we need to move," she said eventually, still heavily breathing, still crying. "We need to leave, Ted. Today. Now!"
He frowned; looked at her as if she'd gone mad, but she'd not speak a word, just pointed on the floor, on the newspaper, her hand trembling. Andromeda wouldn't wait for his reaction; carefully, quickly freed herself from his arms, dizzy with fear. She started to pace around the room, with her eyes closed, trying to get her thoughts in order, trying to think of what to do.
She'd not even realized that it had already gotten dark, that her husband had left the room as quietly as he'd entered. She started to run, headed for the staircase, turning her head over and over again to look for him.
Why had she spent so much time in the kitchen, doing nothing? Why had she not been upstairs, packing, getting ready for their departure? She wouldn't care about where they went, wouldn't care about where they'd sleep, they'd just have to leave, to leave as fast as they could!
Andromeda had seen the expression on his face when he'd read the headline, had seen his eyes open, had heard him gasp for breath - and now? Now he seemed to have disappeared, completely disappeared!
Now it was Andromeda to gasp for breath, to close her eyes just to open them again, to feel fear taking control over her entire body once again.
Stop it! she told herself in her head, bit her lip until she tasted blood. Stop it, Andromeda! He's probably just upstairs packing.
Yes. Yes, maybe he was just upstairs, preparing everything for their escape. He'd always been the one to remain calm, had always been the one to know what to do, to make everything possible.
"Ted?" she shouted, but he wouldn't react. "Ted, where are you? We need to go! We need to go before it's too late!"
"Who says it's not too late already?"
Andromeda's movements froze. She'd not dare to turn around, wouldn't even dare to breathe. No - No! No, she'd not just heard her, she'd not just heard her voice, right behind her back, it'd been her imagination, nothing but her imagination, it'd just be fear, trying to fool her.
Slowly she turned around, still holding her breath, still afraid of what she'd see, of who she'd –
She screamed; screamed, as loud as she could when she looked into her sister's eyes. Her big, black eyes that were staring at her, completely expressionless.
"Why so shy, Andy?" Bellatrix asked, her voice husky, barely recognizable, as if she'd not talked for a long time. She started to laugh, all of a sudden, a sharp, dreadful laugh, the same laugh she'd laughed in Andromeda's dreams.
"Gods please," she whispered to herself, over and over again. "Please, let this be a dream. Let me be dreaming, let this be just a dream…"
She knew she wasn't dreaming, knew this was not one of her nightmares, but reality. Reality. One of her biggest fears seemed to come true, seemed to –
Ted.
"Where is he?" Andromeda shouted, quickly turned away from her, starting to pace around the room, looking for him, looking for him everywhere, shouting his name.
"Where is he, Bellatrix? What did you do to him?"
Again, Bellatrix laughed. Just laughed.
"Where is he? What did you do to him?" she repeated, tauntingly, trying to copy Andromeda's voice. "That's all you worry about? Him? No greeting? I'd have expected a much heartier welcome from you after such a long time!"
"Bellatrix…" she whispered, almost begging her, barely able to keep control over her feelings. She couldn't find him, why couldn't she find him? Why wouldn't he react to their voices, why wouldn't he –
"He tried to protect you, that fool," Bellatrix said, all of a sudden, speaking slowly, as if she'd enjoy every word that escaped from her mouth. "Tried to fight me…"
She shook her head, obviously amused. "You can call his name as much as you'd like Andromeda, he won't respond to you."
Andromeda started to run, to run as fast as she could, until she reached the entrance hall, until she saw him, lying on the floor motionless, his eyes widely opened with fright. Her entire body started to tremble, slowly she sank down on her knees, barely able to believe what she saw.
"No," she whispered over and over again, slowly taking his body, cradling him, as if he were a child. She could feel tears streaming down her face, down to the floor, down to his clothes. "No please…"
She'd never let him go again. Wouldn't release him from her embrace, wouldn't leave him alone again… It was her fault, it was all her fault! She should've left him long ago, should've left him for his own safety, should've disappeared and never come back…
Why had she put him through all this, why had she put him in such a great danger, aware of what'd happen if they were found?
"I'm so sorry, Ted," she muttered into his ear, gently stroking over his face, over his hair, her voice shaking as much as her body. She felt his skin against hers, with her hand resting on his chest, as if she were trying to feel his breaths, but he wouldn't breathe. His chest wouldn't move, wouldn't –
"I - I'm so sorry. I love you! I love you…"
"How touching," Bellatrix said behind her back, seeming completely unimpressed, almost bored. "I remember you telling me you loved me once as well."
Andromeda felt sick. Everything about Bellatrix, her laugh, her voice made her sick, made her feel like vomiting. She wanted to jump up, wanted to scream, wanted to shout at her, to withdraw her wand, but she seemed to be paralysed. Paralysed with anger and fear, unable to move, unable to even turn her head.
She screamed when she felt Bellatrix's hand touching her shoulder, when she felt her fingertips sliding over her throat, slowly. She turned around, finally turned around to look at her, for the first time after so many years.
But only a second later Andromeda closed her eyes, terrified by her sister's sight, unable to suppress a wince. She'd changed, Bellatrix had changed so much, had become thin, pale as a ghost with dark circles around her eyes. Her eyes, her big, black eyes that had lost any expression, any shine. That had become cold. Thick strands of black hair were sticking to her sallow, pinched face; she seemed weakened, seemed exhausted by every step she took. But she smiled. Smiled a cruel, dreadful, almost triumphant smile.
"As if someone like him would ever be able to fight me," Bellatrix cackled while she fastened the grip around Andromeda's shoulders.
She could feel her fingernails, carving deeply into her flesh, could feel her breath against her ear.
"As if a Mudblood-"
"Enough!" Andromeda shouted, unable to listen to her, unable to bear her words any longer.
"Don't you dare speak out those-"
She broke off. Quickly looked for her wand in her pocket, unable to find it, unable to –
The kitchen floor. Of course it was not here, of course she couldn't find it! She bit her lip, trying to keep her thoughts in order, to remain calm, praying that Bellatrix wouldn't notice.
Andromeda sobbed, a quiet, husky sob. Why had she talk to her like this? Why had she talk to her, as if nothing had happened, why couldn't she just leave her alone? She'd already hurt her, had already broken her heart by killing her husband, wouldn't that be enough? Couldn't she just leave her alone? Her tone of voice terrified her, everything about her terrified her!
You're a fool, Andromeda. She'll never leave you alone. Never.
"Fine," Bellatrix said eventually, her voice cold now, cold as ice. She firmly took her wrists, pulling her back to her feet. "That's enough. I gave you the chance, but, since you're obviously not interested in small talk, let me finish it before I start to get bored. Oh, and don't worry about dying. I have no intentions of granting you a death as quick as his."
She'd not even try to refuse. She had gone into trance-like condition, wouldn't even realize how Bellatrix forced her to come with her, pulling her away, away from him, away from Ted, how she shoved her back to the floor as if she were an animal.
Andromeda covered her face with her hands, wouldn't even dare to breathe. She'd not hear her sister speaking out a single word, wouldn't see the red flash of light escaping from her wand, hitting her body –
She would only feel the pain. Such unspeakable pain that seemed to drown her, to overwhelm her, to never let her go again. She bit her lip, desperately trying to suppress a scream, desperately trying to keep control over her voice, to keep control over herself. Tears started to once again flow down her face.
You deserve it, Andromeda! a voice told shouted in her head, all of a sudden. You deserve everything she does to you, you deserve to be punished! You've betrayed your family, Andromeda Black! Traitor! Traitor!
Traitor? No. No! She'd not betrayed her family, she'd never intended to hurt them, never! Bellatrix's curse seemed to only intensify, to intensify with every second passing.
She'd not be able to bear this any longer. She started to scream, to scream as loud as she could, knowing she'd only give her sister what she wanted.
"Stop it! Stop it, please!"
But she'd not stop. Of course she wouldn't stop, would just…
"Bella, please! Stop it!"
Andromeda could hear her sister gasp for breath, could hear her wand, falling down to the floor. The curse broke off and Andromeda couldn't suppress a sigh; a quiet, relieved sigh.
She knew it'd not be over, knew Bellatrix wouldn't let her go, knew she'd not have a chance to escape. Andromeda wouldn't even raise her head, wouldn't get up, wouldn't move.
I have no intentions of granting you a death as quick as his.
"How dare you," Bellatrix hissed into her ear, all of a sudden, again taking her shoulders, turning her around, forcing her to look into her eyes: her eyes, that were glistening with anger. "How dare you call me Bella? How dare you talk to me like this, after everything you've done?"
Andromeda closed her eyes, just to open them again, gasped for breath. "You're my sister still," she whispered, barely audible.
"Sister!" Bellatrix shrieked, seeming to be appalled by Andromeda's words. "I'm not your sister, I'm not a blood traitor's sister!"
Blood traitor. Blood traitor… Andromeda sobbed, sobbed uncontrollably…
"Bella… Bellatrix, please - try to understand…"
Understand. She'd never understand, never - so why would she still try to explain? Why would she still bother talking to her, knowing she'd never...
"Oh, I understand very well," Bellatrix said coldly. "The way you were treated at home did not please you and therefore you ran off with that Mudblood to prove how much of a rebel you are. And - congratulations, Andromeda, you succeeded! You managed to tear you family apart and additionally even broke your sister's heart. Traitor!"
Andromeda bit her lip, until she felt blood streaming down her throat. iTraitor… Traitor…/i Of course she was a traitor, of course she'd betrayed them! Of course she'd betrayed them, in the minute she'd run away with him, in the minute she'd turned her back on them. On her parents, her sisters...
"But - But I loved him," she muttered, trying to speak with a firm voice, trying to sound strong.
Bellatrix just laughed. Laughed, the same cruel, sharp laugh she'd laughed after killing Ted, right after –
"Love!" she shouted. "You loved him! Don't be ridiculous, how could a Black ever love someone like him? And even if you did, even if you had - ifeelings/i for him, it would have been your duty to…"
She broke off. Sighed, a quiet sigh.
"Blacks never marry for love, Andromeda," she continued, almost softly now. Almost like her sister, like the Bellatrix she knew, the Bellatrix who'd never been in Azkaban, who'd she'd always been able to come to, to talk to, even in the middle of the night. "They marry because they have no other choice."
But only a second later she seemed to realize who she was talking to. Seemed to regain control, took her wand, pointing it against her chest before Andromeda was even able to speak a word. As if Bellatrix wouldn't love Rodolphus. As if Narcissa wouldn't love Lucius! It was ridiculous, ridiculous! Of course they did, of course they loved them, even if they'd never dare to admit it.
"Why do you still threaten me?" she asked, barely audible, closing her eyes, for no longer than a second. "You see that I'm unarmed, Bellatrix, so why do you still threaten me? I will not get up and duel you."
And, indeed, once again her wand fell down to the floor. Andromeda gasped for breath when she saw her sister withdraw a tiny knife from her cloak instead. When she saw the smile that had returned to her face, the cold, dreadful smile!
Again she closed her eyes, but this time wouldn't open them again. She would just wait, would wait for Bellatrix to make the first cut, to finally –
Nothing. Nothing happened. Bellatrix wouldn't even move her hands.
"Did you really hate us that much?" she asked instead. Quietly. Coldly.
Once again Andromeda sobbed, unable to keep control over her feelings any longer. She could feel tears streaming down her face and quickly covered her face with her hands.
"Of course not," she whispered, over and over again. "Of course I didn't hate you! Of course not! I didn't want to leave you, I never wanted to – but – Bella - Bella, please, you don't understand, you can't understand… It's not been easy for me!"
"Easy!" Bellatrix shrieked, the sharpness in her voice making Andromeda wince. "It's not been easy! Do you think it's been easy for me, Andromeda? All those years in Azkaban! Do you think they've been easy? Do you think it's been easy for me when the Dementors came to me at night? When they took me, when they…"
She broke off. Would just take her wrist, quietly, without speaking a word, firmly shoving her sleeve up…
Andromeda screamed when Bellatrix made the first cut. When she felt the knife's blade, cutting deeply into her flesh, when she felt blood flowing down her arm…
Another cut. Deeper. Longer. More blood, the pain seeming stronger and stronger with every second...
"I should slice your throat for this," Bellatrix hissed into her ear, her voice having lost any of their former softness. "I should make you suffer for everything you've done. You're going to beg for death, Andromeda Tonks; you're going to beg me to kill you, but I won't. Believe me, I won't. Crucio!"
Again, she screamed. Screamed, as loud as she could, gasping for breath. Deeply she carved her fingernails into her arms, feeling blood stream down on her hands, prayed she'd stop, prayed she'd release the curse…
But why would she? Why would she stop, why would she release the curse? Why?
Andromeda was dizzy, dizzy with pain, dizzy with fear. She wanted nothing more than to lose consciousness, than to finally lose consciousness…
"You look pale, Andromeda," Bellatrix said, her tone of voice taunting her. "Have you had enough already? I suggest you'd better not get tired, because let me assure you, I haven't even started yet."
Hours seemed to have passed until she lowered her wand, finally lowered her wand; until the pain seemed to ease, to ease for no longer than just a few seconds.
Andromeda was unable even to scream when she felt the knife intrude to her body, when Bellatrix stabbed into her stomach, firmly stabbed into her stomach, when she felt blood billow from her wound.
She just winced, gasped for breath.
Another stab. Andromeda was overwhelmed by pain, pain that seemed to flood her. A stab into her left thigh, cuts right into her cheek, into her chest, her breast. Blood, blood everywhere!
Maybe she'd bleed to death. Maybe she'd die. Maybe dying would release her from the pain.
Bellatrix still smiled, still looked at her as if she were worthless, nothing but a piece of dirt.
"You won't bleed to death," she said, as if she'd read her mind, as if she - "Don't worry honey, you're certainly not going to die before I decide that you're ready. I could make you bleed for days if I wanted, maybe even weeks…"
Andromeda wanted to reply, wanted to shout, to beg her to leave her alone, but no sound would escape from her lips. She was unable to speak, unable to move, would just stare straight ahead, not even noticing her sister's movements any more.
"What shall I do next?" Bellatrix asked, all of a sudden, laughing a quiet laugh. "I even give you the opportunity to choose, Andy. What shall I do next? Dismember you? Cut your organs out? Slowly, piece by piece, until I reach your heart…"
A cut into her stomach. Long; deep; as if she were really trying to cut her open, as if she were really trying to…
Andromeda turned her head, barely noticeable and looked down to the floor, just to see her blood, her own blood, spread everywhere; just to see her arms, covered in cuts, with words carved into her skin, words she'd not be able to read any more.
She'd not hear Bellatrix's words, wouldn't understand the things she said, not any more, wouldn't even care.
Until…
"Or shall I bury you? Shall I bury you alive, somewhere no one will find you, with barely enough air to survive until you lose your mind…"
Once again Andromeda started to scream; started to scream, as loud as she could, hysterically gasping for breath. Even the bare imagination of being buried alive seemed to almost drive her insane, seemed to break her.
"Please," she whispered, her voice no more than a husky whisper. "Please, don't…"
She broke off. Bellatrix knew. Of course she knew, of course she knew about her fears, of course she'd use them against her, but why? Why had it gone that far, what had made them…
"Bella, please - I… I love you…"
Yes, yes she loved her, she still loved her, after everything she'd done; after everything she'd said. She'd always love her. Always. Wasn't she her sister after all? No matter what happened, wouldn't she always be her sister? Her family, her blood?
"Liar!" Bellatrix screamed, firmly taking her shoulders, pulling her up to her feet, just to shove her heavily against the wall only a second later. Once - twice…
"You don't love me! You don't love any of us! Why else would you leave us, why else would you betray us like this? Why else would you hurt-"
Now it was Bellatrix to break off, to push her back down to the floor. The throbbing pain in her head made Andromeda gasp for breath once again. She closed her eyes, near unconsciousness, just to open them again only a few seconds later.
I didn't leave you, she wanted to say, but she remained quiet. I didn't leave you, I didn't mean to hurt you...
But why would she believe her? Why should she believe her, if Andromeda wouldn't even believe herself? She'd always loved her sisters, had always loved them more than she'd even loved herself, but she'd made her decision long ago. Had turned away from them, had chosen love over family. Had betrayed them…
"Maybe I should let you live…" Bellatrix muttered, seeming to talk more to herself than to Andromeda. "Maybe I should let you live, just as long until I've killed her."
Andromeda bit her lip. She knew who she was talking about, knew exactly who.
Dora. Nymphadora, her daughter, the only person to hold on to, now, now that Ted had –
"No," she formed with her lips, too weak to be able to speak.
No. No, please! She'd not even dare to imagine Bellatrix harming her, harming her child, wouldn't dare to imagine she'd not be able to protect her!
"Kill me," she breathed, trying to look at her, trying to look into her eyes. Tears were flowing down her cheeks, dropping down to her hands, down to the floor. "Not her!"
Bellatrix raised an eyebrow. "You?" she replied, as if Andromeda had gone insane. "Why should I? Why should I waste your pure, valuable blood, if I can have her? A filthy Halfblood. Maybe I should send her head to you after I killed her, as a little souvenir?"
All of a sudden, anger seemed to overwhelm her, seemed to give her strength, to take control over her body, her thinking. She sat up, carefully, quickly taking the knife from the floor before Bellatrix would even notice her movement, hiding it in her cloak's pocket, her fingers tightly clenching around the handle.
No one would ever hurt her daughter, no one! She'd never allow anyone to touch her, would protect her, would always protect her, even if it meant her certain death.
Bellatrix had turned away from her, had started to pace around the room, as if she were thinking about how to break her, how to finally break her…
Slowly Andromeda raised her right arm, trembling, but wouldn't even be able to hold the knife for longer than just a few seconds.
Would she really be able to kill her? Would she really be capable of killing her sister; of taking revenge? She did not know, did not know anything! She just wanted to close her eyes, to close her eyes and never open them again; wanted nothing more than to die.
Pain and fear seemed to crush her, she seemed even unable to breathe, not knowing what to do.
Bellatrix turned around, took a step forward, once again withdrawing her wand, pointing it directly on her chest, but this time she'd remain quiet.
"You bore me, Andromeda," she said to her, speaking slowly, accusingly, starting to head for the door. "Let me pay your filthy daughter a visit before sun rises. Maybe she'll be a bit more interesting to kill."
"No," Andromeda said, all of a sudden, her voice firm, strict. She rose from her knees, her entire body trembling, taking a small, hesitant step forward.
Once again within only a few minutes Bellatrix had turned away from her, ready to leave, ready to leave her alone, to just leave her behind, slowly bleeding to death.
She was not her sister. Not after everything she'd said about Dora, not after she'd threatened her like this: no. No, Bellatrix was not her sister any more, was nothing but a murderer.
Andromeda wouldn't even notice the movements of her body. Wouldn't even notice what she did, wouldn't even notice how she withdrew the knife, tossing it across the room until it hit Bellatrix's back…
She gasped for breath, turned around, looking at Andromeda, her eyes wide open. She opened her mouth, trying to speak, seemed to try withdrawing her wand; but she just fell down to the floor, motionless, a single tear rolling down her cheek.
"No," Andromeda covered her face with her hands, wouldn't dare to move, wouldn't dare to breathe.
"What have I done? What have I done!"
She'd killed her, had killed her own –
Murderer.
Why would she be any better than her? Why would she been any better than Bellatrix, after what she'd done, after what had happened?
Andromeda started to laugh, to hysterically laugh, like she'd never laughed before in her life. Started to laugh, to cry… She looked down, looked down at her sister's lifeless body, sobbing, laughing, her entire body trembling.
Only a few seconds had passed since she'd thrown the knife. Seconds that had seemed to pass like minutes, like hours. She was dizzy, still so incredibly dizzy, felt the pain returning to her body, slowly, but stronger than it'd ever been.
Murderer!
She wanted to turn around, wanted to leave, to leave the room, to leave the house and never come back, but she couldn't. Wouldn't be able to even take a step forward, wouldn't be able to move any more. Andromeda gasped for breath, almost suffocated by her own tears - and sank down to the floor, unconscious.