Uncontrollable

Chapter One: Until I Forget You

It's easy to lust after someone, but it's nearly impossible to love. Because to love means to accept that the other person will never be perfect, that they will always be flawed but you can't imagine not having those flaws with you everyday.

I guess I was lucky to have loved someone twice in one lifetime, even though neither of them had loved me back. I'd taken it as some sort of punishment for me being a she-wolf or even just punishment for me being a woman.

After all, between Adam and Eve, we know who got the raw end of the deal.

I let out a heavy sigh. This was getting to me again. Uniting the werewolves cross the country through Canada had been Jacob's idea and as I had pledged myself to him, I was under his command.

He had taken the west, Seth the mid-west, Quil and Embry shared the northeast, and I had dominion over the south east. The current issue was a place known as New Orleans, the home of the original vampires, and the place that was gaining the most notoriety for uproar and chaos.

Of course, I had the most unruly ones of all, now in the midst of another vampire attack. Marcel had failed me once again. I rolled my eyes. If I had just slept with him, or even that hybrid Klaus, things would be different. I would have the intel, an alliance even.

I couldn't imagine enjoying taking a vampire to bed with me. Or even worse, I would lose my intrigue and they would actually launch an attack on me themselves.

From Marcel, we had found that our bred of werewolves, the Quilete, was unique. Whereas the others needed daylight rings to control the curse, we'd been given control over when to turn at all times. In fact, it was almost as if we had no relation to that Klaus person.

He had explained a lot to me while trying to woo me over to his side, but I was not so easily had. I had simple rules of survival. One was that I never pursued anything with anyone who chased after me first.

It made things confusing and there was always the possibility of developing feelings, that which I had no more room for in my heart. Two, it gave me the power to start and end things as I pleased because really, how many times can a girl be rejected before it's too much? Three, I could never be hurt. I had stopped giving men the power to hurt me, or anyone for that matter.

I would have to find someone again tonight since these thoughts were creeping up again, this need to have something unconditional and permanent was taking over again.

"Watch out!" One of my allies yelled as I snapped back into reality. I transformed into wolf form and took out a couple of vampires without even flinching. I heard cries and turned to help and that's when he took his shot. A huge arrow was headed my way. I braced myself since there was not enough time to move.

I waited but there was nothing.

Black.

What the hell are you doing here? This is my turf.

And you're failing miserably,' He complained back.

Why did you get in the way? I have it under control.

Jacob rushed off to kill off the last few that dared to challenge us before changing into human form.

It had been … 3 years and 2 months since we'd seen each other, but if anyone asked I would just say 'a while.' I'd never fully told him that I'd caught feelings for him, but now that he was back I had to be careful that he did not find out.

Silently I watched his perfectly chiseled, naked body in awe. It had gotten better over the years. His broad shoulders, line down the middle of his back, round calves. Damn, he looked delicious. I followed his lead, pushing back any remnants of shame, as this was how I was going to entrap my lastest man.

I knew that it would be a long night as I'd have to exhaust my body to the point where my mind wouldn't remember this moment, the fact that we were walking side by hand almost holding hands. I'd never known the warmth of his body or even given him so much as a hug yet I still loved him deeply.

Shit. I had to focus. Focus on what this victory meant.

It mean that we were in control and this was how it was meant to be. Leaders had no room to even contemplate love. I knew that.

"Find out if there are any survivors. Gather them up for information." Jacob gave a simple command as I scanned through the crowd until I found the one that I wanted. He looked a little … Greek and I wanted someone who looked like he would make love to me and not just conk out after a minute. I gave him a quick nod and he knew that he was expected at my bed tonight.

"Are you going to keep following me around or are you going to put on some clothes?" Jacob turned to me as I forced myself not to turn away. It was … strange not knowing what he was thinking or even knowing if he liked what he saw. I wondered if he would lick the sweat from my body, kiss my stomach … Focus. "How old are you now?" He wondered, breaking the ice and trying to call me old.

"You little shit." I tried to trip him up, which only ended up with us engaging in a mini-battle for our pride. We'd gathered a little crowd and I tried to stay focus on anticipating his every move. It ended with my foot to his neck and I knew that he'd let me win.

"Bastard." I mumbled as our people brought robes to wrap around us. "You didn't even try."

"You started to sweat." He shrugged, sitting down with a sigh. "Do you realize that you just spread your legs with everyone watching?"

"Asshole." I pushed him roughly and it was then that I noticed it. How could I not see it before?

"You've been scratched." I touched just outside of the wound, this being the closest I'd been to him ever.

"I'll live." Jacob pushed me off. "Just stop having these encounters with the vampires. This is the second time."

"Why are you so stubborn?" I argued back. "Stupid. You could die over this."

"And it would be your fault. I stepped in and tried to protect you and look what happened." I ignored him, gathering our medical crew, which consisted of a few witches that supported us. "Take care of him." I couldn't leave his side, knowing that this was pretty serious even if he played it off well.

I waited until they assured me that everything would heal properly. By now, the guy that I'd picked out surely would have left. "Take him to my room." I commanded as Jacob kept pestering me the entire walk over.

They laid him down as I followed, surprised by what I saw next. He'd been waiting. Shit. I had to hide him from Jacob.

"Don't cancel your plans because of me." He smirked. Too late. Jacob had already seen...

"You are so immature, you know that?" I griped.

"It's a big suite. I'll stay on this side in this room and you go do your thing in the bedroom." Jacob smiled. "I wonder what Sam would say if-"

"Shut up. Sam's in Canada and for good reasons." I argued back. "I'm not going to justify what I do outside of taking your commands."

"I'm not judging you. "

"And I don't care if you are!"

"So is he getting it from the back or-"

"Ahh!" I screamed back slamming the door. I could hear his little smug ass chuckling and wished that the vampire had killed him.

I worked to regain my composure, so pissed off right then that I threw the guy against the wall. "What's your name?" I asked, knowing that I would take it all out on him.

"Sam."

"What?" I rolled my eyes. Really? "I'm going to ask you that question again and this time, you better give me the right answer…. now what's your name?"

"u-uh … M-Max." He stuttered as I raised my eyes to glare at him.

"Okay, Max. I'm going to tell you how this works. And you're going to want to listen because I'm going to punish you if you screw this up." I explained with an even tone. Max did exactly what I told him, as I told him to do it.

But he wasn't too impressive at it. In fact, I was starting to get bored and all I could think about was Jacob and his massively hard body. I'd never even kissed him but all of these feelings for him were starting to resurface.

I pressed myself harder onto Max, but still felt nothing. I decided to lay back and let him do the work. This would go all night until he did it properly.

(A/N: Leah and Jacob again … how I do love them together. No main plot yet, but it will come as I write. -NL)