(Ok I decided to scrap my original story because when I reread it, I died a little . I appreciate any criticism, the harsher the criticism, the better! Don't be afraid to completely roast my story)
Chapter 1- It's all white noise
Bluefrost tried recalling what a tom had said to her the other night. He had confessed his love but no matter how hard Bluefrost struggled to understand the words he spoke, she couldn't. She tried to recall what he looked like or the color of his eyes but nothing came to mind.
When she was kit, she'd often be compared to her mother, but when Bluefrost looked up at her mother, she couldn't recognize her. The kit saw a blurry shadow instead, if she tried hard enough she could see the color of its fur, but it was like trying to describe the color one sees when closing their eyes. Bluefrost did not think this was abnormal until her father stood next to the blur and talked to it as if it was alive. Her mother talked to Bluefrost a lot when she was just Bluekit, but Bluefrost did not recognize her mother, she couldn't distinguish the shadow's emotions, nor could she understand the static that was supposedly its voice.
"Why don't you talk back to me?" Her mother cried to the kit.
Bluekit concentrated, trying to decipher the static. The shadow was looking at her and the more silence Bluekit gave, the louder the static.
"Answer me!" The mother was now screaming.
The kit turned to the medicine cat that was standing behind her. She recognized the cat fine, it was a young medicine cat named Fawnheart. Bluekit could remember her voice and her face.
"Perhaps she is just shy," Fawnheart suggested to the screaming shadow.
"No! She talks to her father! I hear them! I hear them!" The mother grabbed ahold of the kit by her shoulders and started shaking her, "There's something wrong with her!"
"There's nothing wrong with her!" Fawnheart rushed to Bluekit's side and broke the shadow's grasp on her.
Bluekit could still feel the presence of the giant paws long after the shadow let go. Her mother had unsheathed her claws when holding the kit. Tiny droplets of blood formed on Bluekit's shoulders. The shadow hurt me.
"Bluekit, please say something," Fawnheart begged as she held her mother back.
Say something? Bluekit opened her mouth to obey and the shadow immediately silenced. "It hurts, Fawnheart."
She felt blood slowly dripping down her back. Fawnheart called for help and while she held the shadow in place, the medicine cat apprentice ran for cobwebs. It hurts.
"Do you see now?" Her mother asked in frustration, "She talked to you, she didn't even acknowledge that I was here! She never meets my gaze!"
"You have to relax, she will be more hesitant to speak if you raise your voice," Fawnheart said, "Let me talk to her alone. Come back tomorrow."
"I want her fixed now!"
Fawnheart took a deep breath and told her to do the same. In a calm voice the medicine cat suggested that Bluekit stay with her and her apprentice for a few nights.
The shadow looked at Bluekit and they fell into a long silence. Her mother was unsure but acquiesced eventually. Bluekit watched as her mother rose up to leave. The kit could almost make out a silhouette of what seemed to be her mother's legs padding away. She squinted, trying to see other parts of the shadow but her eyes strained.
The medicine cat apprentice ran clumsily to aid Bluekit, dropping almost all the cobwebs. He pressed down on Bluekit's left shoulder while Fawnheart tended her right.
"Bluekit, has your mother hurt you like this before?" Fawnheart asked.
Bluekit shook her head. She hadn't known the dark blur was her mother until her father had shared a trout with the shadow last sunset. The kit pondered over it the entire day and could not believe it. There were times when the shadow would meander around the clan but whenever it got close to her, Bluekit would get scared and try her best to ignore the static. At first her mother concluded the kit was shy but eventually she could not disregard her own kin avoiding her.
"Can you speak to me?" The apprentice asked.
Bluekit nodded. She examined the brown-spotted apprentice who was tending her shoulder, he seemed to be a few moon older. On the front he appeared to be a fit, young tom but when he turned around, Bluekit saw his back was completely stripped of fur. What was left was shriveled pink skin.
"You dropped the cobwebs, Mousepaw," Fawnheart said.
"Sorry," He replied rather insincerely, "We wouldn't be up this late if Bluekit just talked to her mother."
"Bluekit, why don't you talk to her?" Fawnheart asked.
"I can't see her."
"You can't see her?"
"She's a shadow, I can't see her."
Mousepaw snorted. "Stop lying."
"I'm not lying," Bluekit defended, "Also I wasn't talking to you."
"Both of you stop," Fawnheart addressed both of them but eyed Mousepaw especially, "Bluekit, what do you mean by a shadow?"
Bluekit thought for a moment, how can I describe it? If she concentrated on the shadow, she could make out shapes of legs and ears but it hurt her eyes. If she listened to the static long enough she could hear emotion but never words.
Fawnheart's look of sympathy faded into confusion. She looked to Mousepaw for his opinion but he just shook his head. Bluekit yawned, she did not want to speak of her mother anymore. All the shadow did was hurt her. Mousepaw replaced the wet cobwebs and led Bluekit to her temporary nest. Bluekit was uncomfortable in the unfamiliar den, it was much colder and emptier. She thought about returning to the nursery but her mother would be there. A shiver went down her spine, perhaps it was best to stay here. In her peripheral vision, she saw Mousepaw taking Fawnheart outside. Bluekit followed them, she needed to ask if she could stay longer.
"That kit is lying!" Mousepaw hissed.
Bluekit paused.
"Mousepaw keep your voice down," Fawnheart whispered.
"She's doing it for attention, kits are immature like that, Fawnheart," Mousepaw muttered.
Why is he so stubborn? Bluekit clenched her teeth. This was none of Mousepaw's business, this is none of anyone's business. It would be better if everyone just leaved her alone.
"I know she's faking it," Fawnheart said.
Bluekit's heart sank. She doesn't believe me either?
"Just force her to talk so she doesn't have to stay with us!" Mousepaw said.
"This problem isn't going to go away that easily. She needs to heal slowly."
"You say that as if she's injured."
"In a way, she is," Fawnheart said.
Bluefrost hated when Fawnheart would sit her down in the cold den and ask her how she was feeling, how had her day been and if she was eating enough. The medicine cat acted as if Bluefrost was a sick elder who needed constant watch. Ever since the incident with her mother as a kit, Bluefrost forced herself to talk to the shadow. The static responses pierced her small ears but she listened for any resemblance of words. Nothing. She couldn't understand. As a kit she faked her way through the conversation, she smiled at her mother whenever she talked. She would always nod and throw in an occasional "of course". But it did not work.
The shadow grabbed her again and shook her. Bluekit's ears burned as the static screams grew louder and louder. This time Fawnheart was not there to save her.
"Stop! Stop!" The kit cried.
Her mother dropped her, the static stopped. Blood gushed from her shoulders down to her legs. Bluekit opened her eyes but her vision grew dark. All she saw was a glimpse of the shadow running away.
That was the last time she ever saw her mother. Bluefrost shook her head, several moons have past since then but she never could forget. Fawnheart still asked about the shadow but Bluefrost would convince her that everything she had said as a kit was a lie. A lie for attention. The medicine cat believed that and thanked Bluefrost for the honesty.
Bluefrost stopped seeing shadows ever since her mother deserted RiverClan. At one point she asked herself if any of it really happened. She shook her head, I don't care anymore. I don't. She convinced herself that the only thing that matters now is if her kits were going to be born healthy.
"Bite onto this," Fawnheart offered Bluefrost a stick to soften the pains of labor.
Bluefrost slapped the stick out of Fawnheart's grasp. "Get away! Get away, I need room! I can't breathe!"
Mousepelt tembled, Fawnheart had warned him if he was going to follow in her footsteps then he must prepare himself for any situation. This was the second pregnancy he'd witnessed, his first almost caused him to faint and he couldn't even bare to look until it was over.
"She needs you, Mousepelt," Fawnheart said, "She needs you to help, you have to be strong."
He took a deep breath and nodded. "I'm here by your side, Bluefrost!"
Blackstorm stood at the entrance of the medicine den, not moving a single muscle. Before sundown, he would become a father. He should be proud, he was responsible for a seedling in the next generation. He could nurture his kits better than his father ever did and watch them grow into warriors. His kits would have their kits and he could watch over them as well. Blackstorm should be excited, but he wasn't.
"Blackstorm!" Bluefrost called, "I need you!"
Fawnheart turned toward the entrance. "Blackstorm?"
There was no one there. Bluefrost cursed his name, if she had to give birth by herself, then she would. If she had to raise her kits by herself, then she would. She did not need a coward to slow her down.
"Just one more, Bluefrost!"
A minimal amount of blood was shed when the first newborn arrived. Mousepelt forced himself to hold the kitten, it was no bigger than his head. It was a dark tom with a light grey underside, it's paws were curled and it squirmed around in Mousepelt's grasp.
"He's healthy, he's a handsome little thing," Mousepelt murmured with smile.
The last kit was a grey she-cat with a blue hue. Its ears were small and she had a stubby, pink nose that twitched. Bluefrost sat up slowly and Mousepelt placed the dark tom at her side. She smiled at the newborn, she was a mother.
"This she-cat looks just like you," Fawnheart said fondly as she placed the she-cat next to her mother. Bluefrost gasped and froze at the second kit.
"What?" Mousepelt asked, his heart began to pound. Did he miss something?
Bluefrost began to shake. She opened her mouth but choked on her attempt to cry out for help. Fawnheart inspected the newborn closer but found nothing.
"What's wrong?" Fawnheart asked, "Bluefrost, what's wrong?"
"She's a shadow!" Bluefrost spat.