The clock read 1:41.
Kara flipped to the other side of the bed where the clock could no longer taunt her. She tightly clutched a plaid shirt in her hand, the dampness increasing as another tear streaked down her face. Each sob that racked her body was caught in the shirt. Her fierce grip made it impossible to determine where the shirt began and where she ended.
She constricted her body into a fetal position with one simple goal: to achieve numbness. Alas, her Kryptonian physiology and the yellow sun would prevent a cool wave from washing over her. She simply wished to stop the constant pain that surged in her body. However, the numbness never came and the grief continued to suffocate her. Each heartbeat reminded her of what she lost, who she lost: her friend, her companion, her lover, her partner, her fiancé. Mon-El.
She snuggled into the shirt in search of his scent, hoping the embrace would invoke some memories that are attached to this simple piece of cloth. Even the inconsequential ones. The ones people would simply overlook, the ones people took for granted, the ones she took for granted.
This was his favorite shirt, this had always been his favorite shirt and, for the love of Rao, she didn't even know how he came to own it. He loved to wear plaid; a glance at their closet would let anyone know. It seemed like Mon-El had vowed to own every type of design, in every color combination. The man had somehow managed to where this shirt the night he proposed to her.
When he proposed to her. When they agreed to be one another's, always and forever. Grow old together, maybe even have kids, grandkids. A litter of little Mon-Els and Karas. Maybe they would take up the Supergirl and Valor mantle. Maybe they would save the world. Maybe they would have had a legacy. Maybe. That was all she was left with, a bunch of maybes.
Kara was furious. Mon-El was late. She began pacing fervently with her super speed, creating a faint skid mark on her floor. All she cared about right now was for Mon-El, the love of her life (who still infuriated her), to come and knock on her door and take her on a date. There were no villains attacking National City, no aliens, no petty thieves trying their luck, and if someone decided to be brave and try something, she knew James was working tonight. All she needed right now was to enjoy her night off with her boyfriend. But with each passing second her hope diminished and her anger simply grew.
After an hour of waiting, Kara finally gave up hope.
If she wasn't going to enjoy her night off with Mon-El, then she would definitely spend it relaxing. Maybe draw herself a bath, catch up on her shows, or read a new book. She was going to do something.
Halfway through drawing her bath, she heard a knock on the door. Although her anger for Mon-El was still very much present, a small smile escaped her. Kara shook off the smile as she turned off the water and went to open her door. Knowing it was Mon-El, she opened the door and walked straight back into the apartment. Didn't bother to turn around, just waited for him to speak.
"Kara. Kara. Come on. You seriously aren't mad at me, are you?" He was standing right behind her. His arms wrapped around Kara's waist, as he placed his head in the crook of her neck. Before settling into the position he pecked her quickly on the cheek.
"I was only," he glanced at his watch, "an hour…late." His voice faded as realization dawned on him. He was late. Super late. A brief silence enveloped them.
"But I have something planned for you, something awesome. I know you are going to love it!" He added more enthusiasm to offset the silence that had taken them, but Kara turned her head away from him, all while remaining in his embrace. Despite her frustration, removing her body from his just felt wrong.
"Kara. I'm really sorry. I was going to be here on time, I swear on Rao. But then a group of very angry biker aliens came into the bar. Biker Aliens, Kara! And a human thought it would fun to try to hustle them at the pool. To cut a long story short, he did manage to hustle them, and they figured it out. I was chosen to clean up the mess-"
"Your shift ended at 5, so you were on clean-up duty for 2 ½ hours. Even without your super-speed, I highly doubt that was the case."
"Well, there was something else I had to do. Just believe me, I would have been here on time. Ask Winn."
Kara turned around, she draped her arms leisurely around his shoulders, as his fell to her waist. She was desperately trying to remain mad. But one look at his gray pleading eyes and she knew she was melting. "And how exactly can Winn vouch for you?"
"I was with him…on official DEO duty. Doing something…DEO related. For the DEO."
"You do know that if you decide to lie, it should be a really good lie."
"It's not a lie."
"Really?"
"Yup."
"Official DEO duty. That's your reason?"
"Yup."
"With Winn."
"Yup."
"So if I call Alex or J'onn they can confirm?"
"Yup." Kara raised her eyebrows. He was literally digging his grave in front of her. Kara thought about her next move. She could call Alex and J'onn and catch Mon-El in his lie, send him packing for the night, and return to her bath. Or she could 'believe' him, spend the night how she wished, and then catch him in his lie tomorrow. She mulled over the options, although the answer was as clear as day. The more she was thinking, the more Mon-El began to squirm in her arms.
"Okay." She quickly pecked his lips and walked to their bedroom.
"Okay," Mon-El repeated, slightly dumbfounded, "Okay?"
"Yes. Okay. I'm going to change," she disappeared, and appeared in a blink of an eye. A confused look still adorned Mon-El's face. She believed his lie. She believed his spur of the moment, completely transparent lie. Kara laughed at the state of her boyfriend. In that second, she knew that this was definitely the better option to pick. She grabbed his arm, "Come on Mon-El. I have no idea where to go. Remember, you planned all of this."
Mon-El shook himself back into reality, "Right. Of course. I'll lead the way." He took Kara's hand and led her out the door, completely forgetting to change into date-appropriate attire.
They walked down the street holding hands, silently enjoying each other's company. Minutes passed, and they had yet to arrive at their destination. It seemed like Mon-El was taking random turns down the street, not even paying attention, just aimlessly walking around. She stopped and dragged Mon-El back, "Mon-El where are we going? We have been walking around for ten minutes." Mon-El just looked at her with a goofy smile, upsetting her more, "Mon-El, I am being serio—".
Mon-El swept his arm under knees and gripped her in his arms as he super sped off.
"What are you doing Mon-El?" Kara giggled.
"Isn't it obvious? I'm taking you on a date." He smiled down at her. Kara refrained from asking another question. Clearly she was going to know eventually.
They stopped at the top of a hillside, Mon-El gently putting her down as Kara took in her surroundings. Clear cut grass, masses of wildflowers and in the middle of it all, there was a picnic basket, a blanket and tons of pillows. She walked over to them, "What is all this Mon-El?"
"Our date Kara," a grin on his face. He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her, "A little star-gazing. Since we both fell from there, I thought it would be nice to admire what brought us together. Mhm?"
"Yeah, that sound's lovely," Kara leaned in to him to place a peck right next to his mouth, "Is this why you were late? You were setting up all of this?"
"Yes," Mon-El responded nervously, trying to hide his embarrassment. Kara didn't need to know how irrational he was when he was setting everything up. Winn can attest to his meticulousness, since Winn spent a good two hours trying to help Mon-El find the perfect location for star-gazing, "I spent about an hour arranging all of this, from the food choice to the pillows. A perfect evening."
They sat on the blanket, admiring the stars and the night sky as they ate, shared kisses, and talked about everything and absolutely nothing at the same time. Amidst it all, they ended up lying on the blanket, with Kara's head tucked into the crook of his neck. She was rattling on about constellations using Mon-El's chest to draw them out, rather than pointing at them in the sky. And all she heard from him was a 'hum' in response. He loved her passionate rants, so he let her ramble on about Orion and the twelve Muses, while he brushed her hair, finding peace in her embrace.
Kara ran out of stories to tell him and began to doze off, when Mon-El shocked her out of reverie, "Come on. Its time." He helped her up as he moved to stand behind her, "For what?" Kara asked.
One arm wrapped around her waist as the other pointed to the sky, "For that Kara…" she looked up at the sky and saw a ball of glowing energy cut through it, lighting a trail as it went it along.
"Comet," Kara spoke in awe.
"Yeah, a comet," Mon-El turned so was facing Kara instead, "You call it Halley's Comet," he gazed into her eyes, and whispered something Kara couldn't catch.
He cupped her cheeks, his thumbs grazing them, "Yup. Comets," he chuckled as he let out a deep sigh. "Kara Zor-El. When I met you, I was selfish, I was a coward. I was afraid and weak. But you made me a better person. You finally gave me the courage to be who I was, and inspired me to be better. To reach my potential. Someone who can stand next you. When I landed here I thought 'just my luck to be stuck with a Kryptonian'. But now I couldn't ask for a better life. Yes, we've had our ups and down, moments of weakness, and even moments of doubt. But every time we come back, we come back stronger. I could have landed anywhere in the universe. But fate brought me here, brought me to National City…fate brought me to you. I found someone who loves me for who I am, and I am nothing without you. The yellow sun may give me powers, but it is you that gives me strength. And with everything I am, I love you," he paused. Trying to catch his breath, hoping he wasn't rambling because this wasn't the speech he rehearsed. But he looked at Kara again, her eyes were literally twinkling, a smile spread straight across her face. One glance at Kara, and it gave him this courage to continue.
Letting the tension go, he pulled a case out of his back pocket as he bent down on one knee. Kara froze, one hand over her mouth, covering a gasp that escaped when Mon-El opened the case.
He slipped his free hand into hers, "As superheroes, there will never be a guarantee of a tomorrow, but I want to spend every day I have with you. Always and Forever. So Kara, will you marry me?"
She couldn't find her voice. She wanted to scream across the hillside, 'YES', but her emotions prevented a sound from coming out. Fate had brought them together, and she couldn't thank Rao any more than she already has. She loved this man with every fiber of her being, "Kara?" Mon-El asked gently.
She nodded her head yes frantically, quietly letting out a "yes," knowing her voice would betray her. "Yes," she repeated louder, it came out cracked, but did it matter? Mon-El slipped the ring onto her finger, and leapt up to take her into a human-crushing hug. He moved back to capture her lips, eliciting a small moan from her. Her hands trailed up his back until they were tangled in his hair, pulling him closer. She broke the kiss, resting her forehead against his, as he attempted to chase her lips.
"Always and forever?" she asks, a dopey grin stretched across her face.
"Always and forever." He answers, and proceeds to reclaim her lips.
Kara looked at the ring on her finger. She still wore it every day. No matter what, she was going to fulfill her promise, their vow. Always and Forever. Maybe it was this mentality that prevented her from moving on. The desire to live in the past was far greater than the one to live in the lonely present. Despite the fact each memory stung her, she would rather reminisce about him a thousand times over than face her fate: a world without him.
Perhaps that was why she would wait every night, staring at the door in the hopes that he would open it? Why she placed two plates on the dining table, as if expecting him to come home exclaiming, 'Kara...I'm Home!' Why she would close her eyes, and hope to find two gray orbs staring at her when she opened them again? Perchance Rao would be generous to her and return her happiness? And if holding on to this hope was foolish, she would gladly embrace that mantle. She closed her eyes and reached for him; wishing, and praying that by some miracle Mon-El would be sleeping soundly next to her, alas all she could feel were the cold, empty sheets.
Kara and Mon-El stumbled into the apartment, slightly intoxicated. It was well past midnight, but their energy was still strong. Alex and Maggie had gotten married today, and Kara couldn't be happier. Her big sister was married, she was going to get married. She was journalist, she was Supergirl, and life was good. Mon-El cut his way to the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of water to level the alcohol in his system.
"We are definitely going to have to top that," he said. And then he chugged the glass of water. Kara watched him gulp it down, his head stretched up, exposing his neck. Her eyes trailed down to his tux, the top bottoms undone, giving a nice view of his chest. She bit her lip, her inebriation letting many dirty thoughts pass through her head. She just wanted to place a trail of kisses from the base of his neck to his sweet, supple lips.
"Kara?" she jumped out of her thoughts, Mon-El was staring at her. He asked again, "did you hear me?"
"Yeah, yeah. We need a big wedding. I got it," Kara replied.
She walked to him, grabbing the glass in his hand, and drinking the rest of the water. She needed to sober up a little if she wanted the night to progress the way she desired. "No. Not a bigger wedding, a better wedding," Mon-El shook his head.
"Isn't that the same thing?" she asked while staring at his lips.
He chuckled. "No, Kara. I sometimes forget that Kryptonians didn't know how to party. Trust this Daxamite hedonist, bigger does not mean better." His voice sounded husky, and he sent her a wink. Kara's cheeks flushed, the subtle innuendo didn't escape her. His arm weaved around her, as he dipped his head to her neck, placing a kiss as he moved up to her jaw. He whispered into her ear, "Right Kara?" She couldn't form any words, each kiss ignited a fire in her, leaving a blaze on her skin. His lips where ghosting over her cheek, Mon-El asked her again, "Kara?"
"Yes?" her voice came out so weak that Mon-El groaned.
"Oh Kara, I've barely even touched you," his voice was tantalizing.
"Why don't we fix that?" Kara's voice was so raspy, she doubted it was her own. She crashed her lips onto Mon-El. Her hands pull-out off his coat, and then found their way back into his hair. Each kiss was stronger, fiercer as their tongues and teeth clash. Mon-El presses himself closer to her, finding any amount of distance was too much. Kara ripped the remaining buttons off his shirt and began to tug it down, but Mon-El roughly lifted her onto the counter, forcing her to stop her ministration. He stopped their kiss to look at her eyes.
"I love you," he cupped her cheeks. Her arms locked around his back, bringing him closer so their hips were joined, her legs wrapping around his waist. She barely managed to say I love you to him before his lips descended on hers. Igniting the fire again, he slowly began kiss her neck, feasting on her skin, and only stopping the onslaught to bite it. She moaned his name, and roughly pulled him back to her lips, taking charging this time. Mon-El scooped her up, her legs still wrapped around him, and made his way to the bed.
Another sob racked her body. She just wanted to feel his presence again. To touch him again. To feel his breath on her, to be peppered with kisses, to simply hold his hand. The essence of him was present in every inch of their apartment. The clothes in the closet, the cookbooks in the kitchen, the hideous painting he bought, their collage of photos, his bike in the garage - everything of his here but him.
"What happened?" Kara screeched as she entered the DEO's hospital wing. Alex was blocking her from entering. Kara caught Mon-El lying on the hospital bed, "Is he hurt? What happened Alex?" Kara's voice laced with dread.
Alex chose her next words carefully, trying to remain level-headed for her sister, "Kara, there was an accident and Mon-El was severely injured—"
"Just tell me what happened!"
"He was working at the bar, and a couple of rogue aliens came in and started, I guess, a bar brawl. Mon-El was trying to save as many people, and he jumped in front of someone. Trying to protect them from a bullet. But the bullet was pure lead Kara." Alex paused to let her sister take in the information.
Kara tried to process the information, but her mind was just focused on what looked like Mon-El's lifeless body. She brushed past Alex and sat next to Mon-El's bed and took his hand in hers.
"Okay. Okay." She tried to remain calm, but a storm was brewing in her mind, "Its fine, he'll be fine. Did you take the bullet out?"
"Yes we did, but –."
"Thank Rao. He is going to be fine in a couple of days. You made it sound like certain death over the phone Alex. A little dramatic," Kara chuckled.
"Kara you don't understand. He isn't going to be able to heal from this bullet."
"What are you talking about? He healed from the bullet he took to his leg just fine."
"Yes, Kara, to the leg. But this bullet, it was right by his heart. A couple of centimeters to the right, it would have been his heart!" Alex was frustrated and scared. She had to tell her little sister the worst news possible.
"But. You. Got. The. Bullet. Out. Though." Kara hissed.
Alex sighed as leveled with her sister, "Yes. But this was by his heart Kara. His heart. In his leg, the poison couldn't spread as much. But his heart Kara, it got a one way ticket to every inch of his body. He won't, he can't heal from that."
"Then we need to find an antidote, a cure, something!" Kara's voice could be heard down the corridor, "We can call Eliza, and you guys can figure it out. Right? Right?" Her voiced dropped to a murmur as she began to register to gravity of this situation.
Alex simply shook her head, "We don't have time or the technology. A cure could take years."
"Then you are just going to let him die?" Kara's words stung, but Alex knew that words were coming from a place of hurt.
"We have a plan. J'onn came up with a plan. He is deteriorating by the second. So what if placed him somewhere time doesn't pass. And when we finally have an antidote, or a cure, we can bring him back and administer it. We can save him, if we place him in the Phantom Z—". Alex stopped as Kara whipped her head to face her sister.
She glared at Alex, silently commanding her to stop talking. She knew what her sister was hinting at, but she didn't need to vocalize it. It would make it too real. She gripped Mon-El's hand tighter, "No."
"Kara. It's the only way he can survive," Alex said, desperately trying to keep her voice neutral, her sister needed her to be rational, but tears began to pool in her eyes. 'The only way he can survive.' Those words echoed in Kara's head, but so did 'years' and 'we don't have the technology'. How long would he be there? How long would it take? How long would she have to stay away from him? How long? This lifetime, or the next?
"No…please," Kara whimpered. She caressed his cheek. Silently willing him to wake up, to crack a joke or, tell her it's a prank. For Winn to burst into the room, telling them how he caught it all on camera. But his face remained stoic, and her heart began to sting, like a thousand needles were stabbing it all at once.
"Kara, the longer we wait, the less chance he has," Alex said.
"I know. I know," she couldn't tear her eyes away, "just let me look at him. I just need to memorize him. Please." Her fingers brush his jaw, sweeping across his lips, and settling in his hair, "I don't know if I will ever -," a sob was trapped in her throat, preventing her from finishing the sentence. She looked at her sister, imploring her to listen, "Just let me look at him," she finally managed to breathe out.
Alex nodded, knowing if she spoke her voice would break, and Kara didn't need that right now. She left the room, letting them have this moment.
"I love you so much." She waited, hoping Mon-El would open his eyes, and tell her that he loved her as well. She pressed a kiss to his forehead. Holding it there as time ceased to exist for her, "I love you with everything I have, forever and always," she whispered against his forehead. Kara drank in the moment, the last one she would share with him. Praying to Rao for him to wake up, even for a moment. That's all she needed right now. One moment to stare into his eyes. To hear him speak one last time. She wasn't asking for a miracle, just a moment.
She heard movement behind her, and she knew her time was up. She swept down to place a longing kiss on his lips. Now praying to Rao that he will come back to her. Someone pulled her off his body, she didn't know who, and all she could look at was Mon-El, using these last seconds to commit him to memory. Everything else was just white noise now. She stood in the background as he was wheeled away, following behind like a lost puppy. J'onn took command and she watched her surroundings like she was in movie. Nothing felt real, but the heaviness in her heart told her otherwise. As she heard Winn and J'onn talk about logistics she knew she didn't want to be here. Every sympathetic glance at her pierced her heart. Kara thought she could watch him be sent to the Phantom Zone, thought she was strong enough. But any strength she had, Mon-El took with him. 'The yellow sun may give me powers, but you are my strength'. No, she couldn't be here.
Should she go back to her home, to her empty apartment and empty bed? She could go to Alex's, but she didn't need to feel like a burden. Should she just fly the skies? Go to work? Where could she go? Her mind settled onto one spot. The Hillside. She sat there staring at the stars, she sat there staring for what felt like an eternity. He was up there somewhere, frozen in time completely unaware. And she was down here, where each moment felt like death.
The ache in Kara's heart doubled over, she grasped the shirt harder, hoping the memory would stop. She raised herself from the bed and, removing her shirt, slipped on his. She embraced the shirt, silently yearning for less agonizing memories to surface. She settled back onto the bed, facing away from the empty spot. The spot scorned her, it mocked her, and it served as painful reminder. She stared at the clock again, as another tear slipped down her cheek.
It was only 1:42.
Shoutout to gldngrl7 for beta-ing my story! Thank You!
And thank you guys for reading. Sorry for the angst. Hope you enjoyed it! :)