Hi there! I should have been working on my other stories but I really fancied doing this one! It's just a nice, domestic kind of story involving Luigi and Jigglypuff over their time in the Smash Tournament. And don't we always tell stories over a mug of tea or coffee? So make yourself a brew and have a read.

Coffee Morning Reminiscence: Part 1

Smashville: what a lovely place it was to be in! While the air was crisp and cold, it was nevertheless pleasant to take a stroll around the village before getting down to the business of the tournament once again.

Some had questioned her validity upon remaining in the tournament- was she even relevant anymore they dared ask? Pah! She was one of the Original Twelve! Not only was she valid but she was most certainly relevant: had she not made appearances outside of the tournament during this time? She had indeed. Perhaps they ought to extend that question to Ness and Captain Falcon, other members of the Original Twelve. The boy had only one adventure after all, a significant adventure to be sure, but only that one adventure even if its tale was being told once again. And as for Captain Falcon, he wasn't even a hero! He was… a racing driver. A bounty hunter. And when did he last do even those things? But her mind was digressing and she would not allow such things to taint her lovely day so far. And anyway, neither would they be going any time soon since they were of the Original Twelve. In any case, it would be nice to meet up with them again as she was doing today with another fellow Smasher.

She adjusted the rose in her straw hat and headed for the welcome warmth of Brewster's Café which was now just ahead of her. Hopefully her companion wouldn't be too long in arriving else she would become quite bored with waiting.

Ah, Brewster's. She had spent many an hour here in between matches, training, events and so forth. As expected, the place was busy with many rosy-cheeked people treating themselves to hot drinks and a nice slice of cake. She always liked this cosy atmosphere with the chequered, cushioned seats and the rustic appearance. The pigeon proprietor of the place noticed the pink puffball Pokémon and gave a cheery wave: Smashers were among his favourite customers since their presence always guaranteed even more customers. Busy with his chores, Brewster pointed towards the corner. It seemed that her companion had already arrived. But then, he was known for being quite punctual.

"Hey, Jigglypuff," Luigi smiled as she sat down and made herself comfortable. "Long time no see!"

"Long time no see yourself, Luigi," Jigglypuff returned pleasantly, shaking his outstretched hand. "How are things? I hear you and Mario had another adventure recently. Pi'illo Island wasn't it?"

"Yeah. It was supposed to be one of those diplomatic visits but you know how they often turn out. It wasn't Bowser who started the trouble in the first place though; it was this weird bat thing called Antasma…"

As Luigi regaled Jigglypuff with his tale of dream-hopping, giant battles and Pi'illo saving, drinks that Luigi had ordered before arrived for them consisting of a large cappuccino and a pot of elderflower and blackcurrant tea.

"Why thank you," Jigglypuff said as she took a sip of her favourite brew from a willow teacup. "But what made you think that I hadn't switched to a new favourite since the last time?"

"Because when you get here, you always say that the first thing you want to do is go to Brewster's and have a pot of elderflower and blackcurrant tea," Luigi said knowingly while satiating his thirst with Brewster's finest coffee. "Anyway, how have things been at your end?"

"Oh, the usual near apocalyptic disasters involving the legendaries and silly beings who try to control them," said Jigglypuff with the air of having been there, done that. "So we've had those concerns to address. But even better, I've been working as an assistant for Guildmaster Wigglytuff!"

"Oh yeah, I remember him. Really great explorer if I remember you telling me."

"He's an inspiration!" Jigglypuff sighed longingly. "Maybe I'll set up my own guild one day, seeking treasure and adventures and all that. Who knows? It's been really great at the moment and it sounds as if it's been great for you too."

"Yep," Luigi grinned. "People are finally starting to recognise and appreciate me. I think Mario might have had a hand in that though he swears that he hasn't done anything of the sort. Still, I appreciate it anyway." Jigglypuff smiled at that. Luigi had done plenty of things worthy of recognition and all he asked for was to be remembered alongside his brother. Things were starting to look up at last.

There was a moment's companionable silence as the pair sat back and observed their surroundings. Once or twice people glanced their way before hurriedly speaking again with their neighbours. Names were written down and gold passed hands. Here and there, the notion of collecting trophies was mentioned along with complaints that collecting said trophies often took a very long time.

"You know, I can't believe that the Smash Tournament has come round again," said Jigglypuff turning back towards Luigi. "It doesn't seem like a very long time since we began the first one does it? How different it is now with all these new Smashers, items and locations. It makes the old one seem very basic. A lot has happened since then it seems. Remember the day that we met?" Jigglypuff giggled at the thought of the memories. "It all seems very strange now doesn't it?"

"How can I forget?" Luigi said with a raised eyebrow. "We've been there since the beginning, the original Smash Bros. tournament…"

"I don't know why you're so nervous, little bro," Mario said conversationally as he and Luigi finished signing the documents that made them official Smashers. "You're going be fighting these other guys… and me come to think of it at some point. You're a pretty good fighter so you're not going to have loads of problems there. So I'm pretty sure that talking to someone isn't going to be much of a problem."

"Yeah, well, er, I'm just not sure," Luigi mumbled. "Practically everyone knows you; you've got it easy."

"Your problem is that you lack confidence, Luigi," Mario stated with the weariness that comes with saying the same thing on a very frequent basis. "I keep telling you you'll be fine."

"Mmm."

"Look, just try and talk to someone, OK? I'm going to do some catching up with Link and see what's what in Hyrule and tell him why the Mushroom Kingdom is obviously better." Mario's eyes gleamed with the pleasure that came from taunting Link. "It'll be good to get to know everyone since I don't think this tournament will be a one-off. It could become pretty popular. Anyway, I'll see you about later."

Luigi shoved his hands in his pockets and groaned inwardly while Mario jaunted off to meet up with the other Smashers and no doubt establish rivalries. Sure, it was fine for Mario to say such things but Luigi wasn't exactly brimming with confidence; he never was. Despite helping rescue Peach on several occasions alongside Mario, people just never seemed to acknowledge him and downright forgot him. Sometimes they could be pretty rude about it since Luigi didn't exactly match up to the usual image of a hero. Such things did not make one easy-going. What difference would there be here? They'd probably be able to beat him in one fell swoop anyway.

"WAH!"

Luigi was knocked aside by something that immediately made him think of a giant, pink marshmallow. It didn't hurt as such since it felt quite soft, but it had taken him by surprise.

"Whoops! Er, sorry," the round figure said. "Didn't notice you there. Blame Pikachu; he was chasing me. I think he's gone annoying that person in the weird suit thingy now. I've never seen anyone like that before. And all these other people look strange but I suppose they also seem familiar in a way. Maybe I'll consider via Types. The suit person's probably a Steel-Type and maybe that green thing with the long tongue's a Dragon-Type or something. Or maybe not. It's going to take a while to get used to things around here."

"Um, sorry," said Luigi seeing that this creature didn't appear to be getting round to introducing itself. "I never met someone like you. What are you?"

He immediately knew he had said the wrong thing when the pink thing puffed itself up like a balloon and said: "Oi! What are you? That's very rude! Hmph! I'll flatten you in the battlefield and yank at that moustache if you say anything like that again!"

"S-sorry," Luigi mumbled, flattening himself against the wall away from this thing's anger. "It's generally not an issue where I come from, er, the Mushroom Kingdom. If we don't know, it's better to ask rather than risk causing offence by getting their species wrong. S-sorry. That was my mistake." The puffball appeared to take his word and returned to her normal size.

"Well, I guess you didn't know, so I suppose I can accept your apology," she said. "I shouldn't blow up like that anyway, metaphorically and literally speaking of course. Things work differently where I come from. I'm a Jigglypuff and a Pokémon."

"Huh, so…?"

"Just call me Jigglypuff," the Pokémon said quickly. "Pikachu's a Pokémon as well in case you didn't know. Much more into the heroics than I am. Are you into the heroics? I suppose you're into the heroics as well. Now I feel out of place. I'm just an ordinary Pokémon really."

"Actually, not that many people see me as a hero really," Luigi said glumly. "Compared to my bro, I'm just not seen as all that important really even though I try to do my fair share in an adventure. So yeah, you're not really alone when it comes to feeling out of place."

Jigglypuff thought this over to herself.

"Well then, perhaps we can be out of place together, eh?"

Luigi gave a small smile for the first time. "Sure. Why not?"

"Great! Except you haven't told me your name yet."

"Huh? Oh, I'm Luigi."

"Luigi? OK, then. Hey, shall we see the others? Truth to be told, I only know Pikachu out of this lot. I haven't talked to any of the others yet."

"Well, at least I can help you there. I came here with a couple of friends and my- Mario! What are you doing?!"

There was a resounding cheer as the unofficial fighting match took place and held its interest with Mario currently holding Link in a headlock and having even disarmed him of the Master Sword. Yoshi was especially elated at this: that Link had thought he was some sort of horse. The cheek of it. He might well have carried people about including Mario on a few occasions but he certainly wasn't a horse!

"Had enough yet?" Mario smirked. Damn, he was just too good at times.

"Never!" Link gasped. "The Hero of Time does not submit!"

"The Mushroom Kingdom is better than Hyrule. Say it."

"Damn you!"

"Princess Peach is more beautiful than Princess Zelda."

"You little sh-!"

"OK! What's going on here?!"

Everybody suddenly stopped what they were doing and pretended that they were examining their surroundings still. The Smash Mansion was not the spectacle that it would later become to be. While the later version had pictures plastered all along the walls of the Smashers and of battles that were especially fantastic and awe-inspiring or, in some cases, happened to be a rather hilarious shot, the walls were considerably bare for the time being, with just a plant pot or two sitting in the corners. The extravagant baths and Jacuzzis had not yet been installed and the Training Room was basic to say the least. Neither were the carpets purple and plush as per Master Hand's particular tastes; they couldn't afford those just yet. But these were early days and it was to be hoped that the Smash Mansion would improve greatly considering they were going to be living here for a couple of months or at least, a couple of months out of their ordinary time zones.

"Well?" the floating, disembodied hand demanded. "Who's going to offer an explanation? Why is this fracas taking place in the atrium that I just happened to have painted?"

"We were practising," Mario said, thinking fast. "And showing the others some useful techniques."

"Yeah," Link agreed while massaging his neck. "I think some good things were learnt today. I've certainly learnt some good skills." There was a general chorus of mumbled agreements.

"Really? Well, good to hear. But in future, I would like all fighting to take place in the Training Room or in the challenges I may set you or on the field! UNDERSTAND?" There was much frantic nodding. "Or I'll think of some creative punishments. Or set Crazy Hand on you if I'm feeling particularly peeved. Oh yes, and I wanted to introduce these things called Final Smashes but my minions, er, the Mr Saturns, haven't got it right yet. Too much coffee I'll bet. The first match will be tomorrow between Mario and Link by the way so I look forward to seeing these, ah, techniques. That is all."

"He looks similar to you," Jigglypuff said once Master Hand left and everybody else looked at each other somewhat sheepishly.

"Mario. My brother," Luigi groaned with sheer embarrassment.

"Hey, you'll have to fight him at some point won't you?"

"Yeah…" Luigi wasn't looking forward to that at all. Surely everyone knew that Mario was a better fighter than he was?

"Oh, yes!" Master Hand quickly zipped back in the room. "And if anyone touches my dolls, er, plushies, they will die. That is all!"

Luigi and Jigglypuff looked at each other.

"There's going to be a lot of weird stuff happening here, isn't there?" Jigglypuff asked.

"Yup."

"It took a while to get used to all that, I'll admit," said Jigglypuff.

"Not as weird as the later ones though," said Luigi. "When we got more Smashers. That business with Mr Game and Watch and the custard tarts is not something I want repeating."

"Kirby and Yoshi were fine about it though," Jigglypuff remembered. "They're like natural hoovers."

"Yeah, that's true."

As people came in and out of the café, Luigi and Jigglypuff caught snatches of conversation concerning tiers i.e. how would the tiers be arranged? Who would be at the bottom? Was it worth forming bets around such tiers? Would Meta Knight be in his own tier class again? Luigi rolled his eyes at this conversation and made a noise of disapproval.

"I really don't know why everyone is obsessed with the issue of tiers," he muttered, "we've all got an equally viable chance to win and do our best. Sometimes we have our good days, sometimes our bad days. We try to shake up our strategies and every match is a little different. You can't just lump us together in some sort of hierarchy and say, 'whoa, he's rubbish because he's not as speedy' or say 'hey, that guy's awesome because his up smash is super-powerful'. It isn't fair on the rest of us and I doubt they'd like to be judged in the same way."

"Tell me about it," Jigglypuff sighed. She had, of course, heard this conversation before. But even she was miffed at the fact that when they launched the Brawl tournament, she suddenly went from belonging to the top tier to somehow being chucked right down to the bottom tier and she really didn't have a clue why.

Luigi took a swig from his coffee. "I hate tiers."

"Twelfth?! They put me in last place?!"

Luigi stared at the tier list, hung up in the Meeting Room, utterly aghast.

"But we've barely even started the tournament yet," he moaned. "We've not even done the first week yet. We haven't had the chance to prove ourselves properly yet and they go and shove me in last place." He sighed heavily. "I suppose it's not too surprising. People rarely show confidence in me anyway. Where else am I supposed to be but last?"

There were mutterings of approval or disapproval from the other Smashers as well.

Pikachu kept looking up at the list hardly daring to believe that he had been placed first, first, of all places. He was just a Pokémon who had happened to get a very lucky break. He tried not to look too smug at this. You could say it was a shocking result that had electrified the audience.

"Seventh?" Mario muttered. "I've beaten Bowser so many times I could do it with my eyes shut and I've been placed seventh?"

"Eleventh?! Come on!" Link yelled. "I'm the Hero of Time! How is this even possible? Still, at least I've not been placed dead last I guess…."

"Sixth?" said Jigglypuff. "Well, slap-bang in the middle. It's much better than I expected."

"I'd have thought Kirby would have been first," Samus said, "since it's your people who started all this in the first place."

"What do you mean 'my people?' At least I'm second." (At least until Melee in which case Kirby was unceremoniously booted to last place. Even after the pipsqueak Pichu who was pretty useless really. He took it very hard. Very hard indeed.)

"Cheer up, bro," said Mario once the meeting was disbanded and had made its way towards the Smash Mansion's bar to either celebrate, reflect upon things or simply drown their sorrows. "This list doesn't mean anything. It's just been cobbled together by a bunch of analysts who think they know everything about us and think they know what they're talking about. Tiers don't mean anything once you start racking up the points and victories."

"Eleventh!"

"Shut up and drink your milk, Link."

"They must have had a good reason for choosing those positions though," Luigi groaned as he flopped onto the nearest comfy seat. "They must think I'm so weak..."

"Come off it, Luigi." Why could he never seem to convince his brother that he wasn't weak? Mario felt at times that he failed as an older brother even if, as his twin, he was only older by a matter of hours. "Do you really think you'd be in this tournament if you were weak? Or be able to defend the Mushroom Kingdom?"

"He's right," said Jigglypuff who joined their table after ordering drinks. "And besides, this could just be a strategy to make rivals among us or something. I wouldn't put it past Master Hand."

"Yeah," Mario frowned. How did a random puffball Pokémon get placed above him? That grated indeed. "Best not to take any notice of it. I'm sure that the people will forget any notion of tiers once the tournament is well and truly under way."

"Yeah, right," Luigi groaned, running a hand through his hair. "This will judge us from the very start. People will judge us solely from this list as if we had some preliminary fights before coming here. They'll wonder what would be the point of voting for those in the lower tiers when they can just go straight for the higher tier people."

"I don't think people will be that judgemental," said Mario somewhat hopefully, "you might be surprised."

Luigi grunted and took a deep draught of the beer placed in front of him. Mario shook his head. His brother's confidence, often low at best, would have taken a serious knocking indeed. And even if Mario said about ignoring the notion of tiers, Mario himself wasn't best pleased at being placed seventh.

Mario gazed at the other Smashers. The tier list had definitely shaken their spirits a bit and consequently, drinks were desired. Pikachu and Kirby were generous enough not to boast about their good fortune and instead decided to have a game of darts in which it was universally agreed they were awful at what with having stubby, little arms. Yoshi moved to the next table to avoid being hit and concentrated upon matters at hand which involved a large pineapple.

"This isn't fair on you guys," Jigglypuff sympathised. "I mean, you're heroes! I'm not exactly a hero. You must have done plenty of fighting. Can't we just get rid of the tier list or something? It really doesn't make any difference to me and I'll bet a couple of the other Smashers in here will be glad to see it go."

"It would probably be for the best," Mario agreed. "Luigi, slow down, that stuff's stronger than back at home. He's a bit of a lightweight really when it comes to alcohol," he explained to Jigglypuff who was sipping an alcoholic Berry Juice. "And I don't fancy carrying him back to bed tonight."

"I heard that," Luigi mumbled. "I'm not that much of a lightweight." He pulled his hat down more securely. "Maybe it'll be better in the morning. I guess we'll get over it and no-one will give a damn about it. It'll be alright tomorrow."

Deciding that that would be the end of the conversation tonight, the trio made themselves comfortable and began talking about other things. Mario and Luigi were particularly interested to hear about Kanto, a region in Jigglypuff's world in which humans similar to the brothers (though obviously without the special powers) captured Pokémon in little balls and held battles which other Pokémon and their 'Trainers'.

"Weird," said Mario. "It just seems strange to me that there could be that many humans, never mind the whole capturing thing, no offence. I doubt we see another human like ourselves from one month to the next apart from Peach. But the whole capturing thing seems a bit… immoral if you ask me."

"There are advantages," said Jigglypuff, "but it may be hard for you to understand. It's a Pokémon thing."

"I think I get the whole Type set-up at least," said Mario.

"Well, you could be a Fire and Fighting-Type, bro," Luigi chuckled, his mood considerably improved. "The Toads would be Grass-Types perhaps. And maybe I could be-"

"Pffffff! Hey, where's the noob? The last place loser? Let's see how low you are!"

"So much for not mentioning the tiers thing..." Jigglypuff whispered.

Captain Falcon was a nice, if overly loud and hammy, guy most of the time. However, when he had a few too many, he wasn't the most pleasant of characters to be around. The bar went quiet. It would have been even more awkward, perhaps, if there was not some nice music playing in the background. It may have also been averted, perhaps, if there were a few more sober people in the room.

Link hiccuped. "Not me. He's over, thingy, there."

Luigi stood up, eyes narrowed, coldly staring at the bounty hunter in a way that made Mario shiver and hope that he would never see such a stare again.

There was some polite applause and cheering from some of the Smashers and Smash Mansion attendants including Mr Saturns, Alloys, Hotheads, Cuccos, Uniras and more.

"Shouldn't we sort this out?" Pikachu squeaked to Kirby. "If we are meant to be top tier?"

"Probably," said Kirby. He threw his last dart only for it to hit the floor. "But I doubt they want us interfering."

"Let's settle this man to man!" Captain Falcon bellowed to the sound of more cheering. "Or are you not man enough to even do that?"

Mario stood up but Luigi pushed him back down without even looking. Mario wondered if the drinks Luigi had were rather too strong although he seemed to be standing well enough without the slightest wobble. Still, at least he was standing up for himself which couldn't be a bad thing really.

"Luigi, this is a bad idea!" he hissed.

"You don't think I could beat him?"

"Well, of course you could but-"

"Right then."

"I thought I was supposed to be the reckless one," Mario sighed. "Then again, I'd be pretty annoyed at Falcon if he said that to me."

"Mother of Mew, male Pokémon are like this as well," Jigglypuff huffed.

Captain Falcon zoomed forwards faster than anyone had predicted although Luigi managed to leap to one side and dodge the next attack. He launched several green fireballs in the bounty hunter's direction causing him to yelp and slur something about cheating. He kept trying to attack Luigi though Luigi constantly slipped out of his range and occasionally punched him back.

The noise was getting louder along with an inevitable chanting of "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" Mario eventually grabbed Luigi while Samus had the unfortunate job of holding down Captain Falcon. Jigglypuff, worrying that Master Hand would come along at any moment to see what the hell all the commotion was, saw only one solution to the whole problem.

Pikachu saw what she was about to do and desperately sought an escape route.

Jigglypuff began to sing.

"~Jigggggaaaalypuuuuff, Jigga-lyyyyyyy-alyyyyy-puuuuufff~"

Tiredness immediately washed over everybody in the room and soon there was no escaping the soporific effects of the song. Soon people began to slump in their chairs while others, who had been standing, quickly sank to the floor and curled up. Sleep came to most people very quickly and those who hadn't fallen asleep straight away did not resist very long.

"~Jigggggaaaalypuuuuff, Jigga-lyyyyyyy-alyyyyy-puuuuufff~"

Captain Falcon had conked out straight away and Luigi followed not so long afterwards being rather susceptible to sleep (as was especially determined in a much later adventure). Mario valiantly tried to resist but soon enough he slumped next to Luigi and began mumbling about spaghetti and ravioli.

Everybody in the bar was now deep asleep. Pikachu popped back in the room and breathed a sigh of relief that he had escaped in time.

"I suppose things were getting a little out of hand," he said.

"Too right," she fumed. "And now you're going to help me take down these stupid tier lists."

"But-"

"Just do it, Pikachu."

When Master Hand wandered into the Meeting Room the next morning to inspect that the wallpaper hadn't started peeling, he noticed a gap on the wall. He was quite sure there had been a poster there the other day, but he was a busy guy, he couldn't be expected to remember everything now could he?

Feeling cheerful, he put up some motivational posters instead and went on his way, whistling completely out of tune.

"Falcon was very apologetic the next day though," said Luigi. "He was practically begging me to forgive him. Of course I had to in the end… after I completely thrashed him at Hyrule Castle of course."

"It was somewhat awkward though when you were put in a team though," Jigglypuff pointed out.

"Yeahhhhhh… but then Samus and Kirby had been arguing the other day and things would probably have gone better for them if they weren't trying to grab glory for themselves. It was unlucky though, getting blown up by a Bob-omb like that."

"Indeed. And poor Kirby was so distraught by the tier list for Melee."

"I'd love to know who comes up with these things so I can then delete all their data," Luigi frowned. "And then Meta Knight in Brawl just completely killed it. Maybe that's why we haven't had any prior tier information yet."

"Do you think we'll have another one for this tournament?" Jigglypuff asked.

"Who knows?" Luigi shrugged. "There's so many Smashers this time round they might decide not to bother. Though I don't think any of us could bear it if Duck Hunt Duo was placed at the top or something..."

As a waitress served the pair Brewster's Speciality Chocolate and Caramel Tarts, they listened in on other conversations going on around them. One in particular said with a loud whisper: "Do you reckon Luigi will win again by doing absolutely nothing?"

"Shh! Not so loud! He's about two tables away."

"Oh, don't tell me you're planning on doing that again!" Jigglypuff frowned as Luigi gave a wide grin. He spread his arms with an air of innocence.

"It's worked for the last three tournaments so far. I just… respond to the natural circumstances and situations that I happen to be in that's all."

"But seriously," Jigglypuff groaned theatrically. "When anyone else tries it in the practice matches, they are immediately battered out of the ring! And when everyone tries to do nothing at the same time as you, you still win! How is that even possible?"

"Hmm, I wish I knew," Luigi said thoughtfully whilst stirring his coffee. "It happens at home as well with the parties. Every single time. And I even managed it with a couple of Mario Kart 8 balloon battles."

"What. Surely that isn't, well, fair, right?"

"Oh, I don't do it all the time," Luigi assured the Pokémon. "Only when I'm pretty sure that such a thing can work. And it's fun watching them trying to do the same thing and failing." Luigi smiled.

"Yeah," Luigi continued. "Good times, good times…"

The first time that Luigi had won a match by doing absolutely nothing was a complete accident. His pleas to postpone the match because he was feeling nothing short of atrociously ill had fallen upon deaf ears and he had been booted to Kongo Jungle for a 1-stock match with Fox.

"Come on, fight back you coward!" Fox yelled as he pushed the plumber off the edge. Luigi just managed to grab onto the ledge. If he had been a better state of mind to think, he would have objected to being called a coward. He risked his life back in the Mushroom Kingdom like Mario; who said that he had to be utterly fearless about it?

"Do I look like I'm in any condition to fight?" Luigi asked weakly. Just one day off, Master Hand. Was that too much to ask for?

"Well, at least I'll give the audience something to remember!" Fox declared.

He then used Fire Fox, presumably with the idea of falling down with a cool pose before knocking Luigi off. Unfortunately for Fox, he somehow lost his footing on the platform and plummeted to the dark depths below.

"GAME SET!" the announcer cried.

"Wha-? I won?" Luigi groaned. With this realisation, he thought that it would be a good idea to pull himself back up. "But I didn't even do anything." This, nevertheless, had sent the audience wildly cheering and immediately analysing the strategy.

"Minimal movement to preserve energy, throwing the opponent off guard by obfuscating weakness, etc. etc. You couldn't do it every time but damn, I wish I'd placed a bet on him!"

"Kinda short isn't it? I paid good cash for this!"

"Actually, it was a free match."

"Oh."

"I demand a rematch!" Fox fumed once they were back at the Smash Mansion. Everybody was gathered in the lounge except Mario and Yoshi who had overrun on their Break the Targets challenges with that 'just one more time' mentality. Everybody was listening with great interest.

"Actually, he won fair and square," Jigglypuff said reasonably. "You were the one who made such an amateurish mistake!"

"That could happen to anyone!" Fox protested.

"I wouldn't have that problem," said Jigglypuff. Talk about a shock result though. "But anyway, Luigi didn't use any forbidden techniques or items or anything like that. He just didn't actually fight back. That means we've got the Pacifist bonus now though!" The others nodded. They had wondered how on earth they would get that bonus during the course of normal battles. Now it could be ticked off the Bonus Bingo Card at last.

"Is anyone going to back me on this?" Fox grumbled. He was not one to let go of a grudge quickly.

"OK then," said Captain Falcon. "Super Smash Bros is about fighting, about showing us your moves, not about, well, doing nothing. You got to show the audience something, otherwise, well, what's the point?" He sat back and beamed at this contribution.

"Exactly! Thank you, Falcon! Now about that rematch-"

"Er, seeing as you haven't noticed, Luigi is a bit too weak to fight at the moment!" Jigglypuff said indignantly on her friend's behalf. He looked nearly as green as his shirt.

"He won't get stronger if he doesn't fight." Fox dismissed Jigglypuff's words with a wave. Jigglypuff suddenly expanded very large much to the others' alarm and frantic gestures.

"You're not paying attention!" she snapped. "What I'm trying to say is-"

"What a spectacle! What a brilliant match that was!"

Jigglypuff quickly deflated as Master Hand came floating in. Everyone else sat a little straighter except Luigi who was trying not to feel especially ill.

"Genius!" Master Hand boomed. "I wish I could actually applaud you properly but as you are no doubt aware, you need another hand to do that kind of thing properly. Anyway, I found myself very intrigued by this notion, the notion of being able to win a fighting match without actually fighting at all!"

"But he didn't do anything!" Fox seethed.

"Just as well I recorded it really," Master Hand continued without really listening. "The audience loved it. It could become a thing. Like a promotional thing. Of course, it couldn't be done all the time; you're a Smasher for a reason, Luigi, but I like it. Anyway, Fox, you were the one who fell off the ledge, so you really can't complain too much. You've won quite a few matches anyway."

"Well, OK…" Fox sighed. "I'll let you have this one, but I'm definitely winning the next match! Er, why have you gone that colour?" he asked noticing for the first time.

Luigi looked up somewhat bleary-eyed.

"I think I'm gonna be sick…" he mumbled. And with that, he dashed from the lounge and just about made it to the nearest bathroom.

"Ohhhhh," Fox said as understanding dawned upon him. "That's why he didn't really fight earlier, huh?"

"Fox," said Jigglypuff wearily. "You're an idiot."

"Well, he did, ha, forgive me after that," Luigi said.

"Yes," said Jigglypuff, draining her cup. "And then you went and upset Link in that Corneria battle by doing absolutely nothing." Luigi raised his hands.

"Master Hand asked me to do so as a challenge. Once again, I had luck on my side. I know Master Hand did have a good word with Link afterwards for his bad performance."

"I think Master Hand did find it funny in a way though," Jigglypuff continued. "I mean, Link hit you with a Bomb, then you both got blasted by Arwing lasers and then when you should have plummeted off stage, Link had landed on the Arwing and flew off before he could do anything. Incidentally," she demanded, "how come whenever anyone else tries that stunt, it never works for them?!"

"Beats me," Luigi chuckled. "Maybe you're better off asking Master Hand about it."

"You know," Jigglypuff pondered, leaning back in her seat, "we still don't really know what Master Hand is, do we? Will we ever find out?"

"Who knows?" Luigi replied. "Anyway, do you fancy another drink?"