So I got to finally watching the series, and while I was watching this, with the knowledge of Epizode Zero happening before the series, it quite changed some of the interpreations of the scenes. Wufei was so different in his beliefs before and Meilan more than changed him to the Gundam Pilot he was, she made him. And she gets so little love. I'm a big supporter of MeilanxWufei, WufeixMeilan.

For fellow fans of the pairing I am writing a GundamWing/SailorMoon crossover called Sand Beneath my Feet and MeilanxWufei will be a major pairing for those interested.

I don't kill bleeding hearts or women.
He doesn't, because they remind him of Meilan. Of days before the death and carnage and the rage that fills him. They remind that they might underestimate him now, but that they always done. That was Meilan's mistake; she always underestimated him because he hadn't been as fanatical about his training or his skill. Because she saw him as 'scholar' she always held herself back, always opened herself for defeat simply because she had not believed he could defeat her.

He had been overconfident and brash, he had the skills to back it up, true, but he overestimated himself and he had never appreciated Meilan when he had the chance. Only when she was gone, when she was no longer here with him to shout and prod at his ego, did he finally see her for all that she had been.

They had both been impulsive, temperamental youths caught in a situation against their will and both of them so caught up in their own bitterness to notice the other's similar suffering. She was headstrong; he was stubborn, they both raged against each other because raging at others didn't work. Raging at each other didn't work either but it had been all they had.

Both of them barely out of their childhood, she had barely even begun bleeding as a woman when they were forced to marry. The Clans had been so delighted and determined to unite when they finally, after so many years, had the children of opposite gender with the requirements appropriate for a union. He had been older, slightly, and sickened by the situation he was caught in. She had been younger and scared of what the changes meant. Because of her bravado they had never seen through to the little girl frightened of the new world.

The nights were the worst, especially the nights like their wedding night. Hormones and body instinct worked only so far, but they had been raised with honor, and both knew their duty. The days after such an event she was more aggressive and he more reticent. But they had been suited well in the end. They had appreciated the small things about the other even if they had never known.

As evident when Meiran lay dying in his arms and told him she had protected his garden, his place of peace, when he hadn't been enough to protect her. He had been too weak and she too impulsive. In the end, they had known the words that had always floated around unsaid between them.

I think I could have loved you.

In that moment, in that last fight, if Wufei had ever wondered if his wife had loved him, he had known the answer then. And he fell in love with her even as her breath escaped her dying body. And she would never know as her eyes closed and he held her still body so tight to his chest, as if he could absorb her into his heart.

She is a ghost and memories of burden that he gladly carries. His Gundam is named Nataku and he would spread her justice to the world and regain his clan's honor. She is with him always, in the guilt, the shame, the conviction, the rage, the drive, the vision of future that he seeks.

He hates fighting weak enemies and women. They remind him of her, and how he had been too weak to save her.

. : my immortal : .